Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Oh, That's Why!

This is a conversation I just had with Parker. I will spare you the details, but you'll get the basic idea...
Me: Why isn't there a sheet on your bed?
Parker: You guys haven't put a new one on since Elli pooped on it.
Me: I thought she pooped on the bottom bunk!
Parker: Oh yeah. She puked on this one.

I'm telling you, we need a reality show:)

Bedtime Rituals

Almost every night, I read to Jesi and Xander and then tuck them in. After that I read to Taylor, Parker and Graci from a chapter book. (We're 3 chapters into Anne of Green Gables right now, and they are LOVING it.) So tonight, I'm on my own. Christi is at the church with the young women. Since I'm on my own, it took longer than usual to get the younger kids down. And of course, they kept popping right back up for quite awhile. But finally, I was able to settle in to reading to the older ones. Five minutes into it, we hear a door open. Then Jesi yells down the hall, "I JUST HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!" "Ok Jess. No problem." I continue to read. From the bathroom, we hear Jesi singing quite loudly. Nothing you would recognize, just one of her many "compositions." She takes quite some time, but I finally hear the toilet flush and the sink going, followed by the opening of the door. I continue to read. No sounds. More reading. Suddenly, (and she must have been waiting at the edge of the hallway for some time) she practically jumps out and announces, in her never-subtle style, "DAD...[CENSORED]...!!!" The other kids start to chuckle and then burst into full guffaws when they look at the pained, twisted scrunching my face is going through as I contemplate where this might be going. Can't we just wait to deal with this until mom comes home??? "So what should I do?" I ask. As quick as a wink she responds..."Make it better! What do you think?" So I stand up to rummage through our medicine stuff to see if we have any Desitin, but the ever vigilant creatures that are our children saw an opportunity to pounce. "Dad, can I make myself more scrambled eggs?" (Taylor) "Dad, I want a fried egg!" (Parker) "Hey, I want some mashed potatoes and steak that are in the refrigerator cuz they are going to go bad tomorrow anyway!" (Graci) "Can I have some scrambled eggs, too?" (Jesi)

We were supposed to be winding down. I was within minutes of tucking in the older kids and having a few precious minutes to myself. Now we were locked into a cooking marathon that was sure to take at least 30 minutes by the time everything wound down. It's not like we starve these kids. Christi had made a great spaghetti dinner which we had finished a mere 2 hours earlier. But my kids seem to be like little tornados, inhaling anything edible that comes within 20 feet of them. So, here we are, the kids are cooking. I have semi-escaped to record this post. Of course every 90 seconds another child comes in to hover over me and ask what I'm doing, can they read it, do we have any more salt, should I use the big skillet if I'm cooking five eggs, where are my glasses, etc.

If anyone knows the producers of Jon and Kate, I guarantee we could provide a MUCH more entertaining show!!!:)

Jer