Monday, April 26, 2010

Advice to Readers

When you leave your house to pick your child up from kindergarten, you might want to think twice about the whole “I’m just staying in the van… nobody will see me” mentality. That way, you may avoid pairing your dirty grubbies and fuzzy green frog socks with a pair of black Sunday shoes (hey, they were the nearest thing to the door). It may just so happen that your husband has switched you vehicles so he can get some tires changed. And it may just so happen that your husband likes to see how long his vehicle can go on an empty tank of gas. And so, when you get half-way to the school, you may just find yourself stranded on the side of the road in said grubbies and Sunday shoes, without make-up, coat, or phone. And you may feel very silly walking down the side of the road in said attire while car after car passes you by. And when you finally flag a handsome policeman down and ask to borrow his phone, your face just may be bright red as you call and ask your neighbor to please come and rescue you.

And while I’m giving free advice, you may just want to know that it is semi-important to turn your crock pot off before going to bed. That way, you won’t wake up in the morning to a strange, strong, burning smell that has permeated the whole house. And the spatula you happened to leave in the crock pot won’t look like this:

Happy Monday!