Letter of Acceptance!

Those of you who followed our adoption journeys to Elli and Graci know how much we love ladybugs! The story goes that one Spring, there was an influx of ladybugs around the nation, followed quickly by adoption referrals for families that had been waiting for a long time. Since that time, ladybugs have become the symbol of good luck in the adoption community. We know that there's really no such thing as luck, but rather a God who loves to have fun with His children! I am not stretching the truth when I say that every single milestone in our adoption journeys have been marked with ladybug sightings of some kind or other. All of these sightings have been fun and unique, but one takes the cake. It was when my dear friend, Heather, sent me a Valentine package in the mail. Heather had originally had Graci's file, and she and her husband wanted so much to adopt her, but it didn't feel right. Jeremy and I had decided to pursue her adoption and had just filled out our letter of intent. The day we sent it to China was the day I got the package from Heather-- full of candy and other Valentine goodies. It sounds too crazy to believe, but I opened up a salt water taffy to find-- you guessed it-- a ladybug. It was dead, of course-- but it was just the craziest thing. Who finds ladybugs in their candy?!! I immediately called Heather who swore she had nothing to do with it and we were just laughing our heads off at the audacity of it all. A ladybug in taffy? In the middle of winter?

Another time Parker came walking in the house with a ladybug on his nose. That day we received pre-approval for Graci. Another day, Jeremy and I were leaving for our first adoption parenting class and a ladybug flew in the window of our car and landed on my hand. These are just a few of our ladybug stories!

So, like I said, every step of every adoption has had ladybugs involved. Well, as we were outside last Friday night, Parker found a ladybug. Jeremy immediately said, "Our letter of acceptance must be coming!" He told me he was just sure it would arrive at the agency on Tuesday (Monday was a holiday, and they aren't there on Saturdays). I smiled and thought it was a fun thought, but that there was no way. I have been following TONS of adoption timelines, and nobody was getting them that soon.

I guess that shows that I need to kick up my belief in the ladybug theory, because lo and behold, yesterday we got the email that our LOA had indeed arrived, just 49 days after our LID!!! (Those of you following timelines know how amazing that is.) I happened to be on the phone with my dear friend, Kim, when I opened the email, and it was fun to share that moment with her! She is also an adoptive mom and is as passionate about it as I am. When I called Jeremy, he told me he had been waiting all day for the call. (:

So, what does this all mean??? It means that we should be traveling to China in 7-9 weeks!!!!!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!!!!!! After waiting so long, it seems crazy that it is that close! We are so very excited!!!

My kids have been praying every day for a very long time that we could travel before their school starts. I know others have been praying for us as well. I was beginning to wonder if it was going to happen, because there are so many waiting families whose timeline has been much slower than ours. Some people who got their acceptance letters yesterday had been waiting well over 100 days-- we were at day 49. I have no doubt that the many prayers offered in our behalf closed the waiting gap for us, and that the Lord knew the desires of our hearts to travel this summer (besides getting him sooner, it also worked out so much better for childcare situations).

At the same time, I know that the Lord knows what's best for every family, and that waits that may seem unfair or too long may very well have a good reason behind them. I could not understand why in the world Elli's adoption took so long, but it just so happened that if we had adopted her even a couple of days earlier, Jeremy wouldn't have gotten the 6 weeks paid paternity leave that his company had just implemented. So hang on, waiting families-- we will all have our children soon!!! (:

She wriggled her way into our hearts...

First of all, if you haven't read the previous post concerning Graci, be sure to do so.

Now...

When I wrote the “Do you know what I know” post, it seems that even I didn’t know what I know. (: I had felt so earnest in my heart—completely convicted in the knowledge that someone out there needed to hear my feelings about adoption. A little ironic that we were the ones that needed to hear what I had to say…

So are you ready to hear the story? Or do you just want to see a picture??!!!

Go ahead, scroll on down and see her beautiful face. Then come back up and hear how one special little girl has found her home.

It started back in September. Yes, just a few weeks after coming home from China with our Xander. I had no right to be checking the waiting child list! Still, when I was looking up post adoption info on our agency's site, I couldn’t help but peek at the kids who were waiting. There she was, a little four-year-old girl (now five) whom I had seen before. But this time, it was different. I had “that feeling.” I opened up her profile and read about this sweetheart, blind and abandoned at birth, and my heart was just doing flip-flops. I tried to convince myself that it was because she reminded me so much of Elli, not because she was OURS, but I couldn’t deny that the Spirit was whispering something to my heart. Later that day, I was out on the trampoline with Elli when—you guessed it—a ladybug flew inside the net and landed right next to me. (If you haven’t followed our blogs, ladybugs are a symbol of luck in the adoption community and seem to show up on every important day of our adoption journeys.)

I had a talk with Jeremy.

He was so sweet. He even cried when he saw her picture and said he was so glad that I was the kind of person who would open my heart to her. He told me how much he loved me. And then he told me I was off my rocker.

Or something like that.

Basically, he said no. And I admit that I was very relieved. It seemed that there was no way that it could be right for us. After all, we had just come home from China! We had SIX kids!! We were already barely keeping our heads above water!!!

And I can promise you, that when I wrote my adoption post in November, the thought hadn’t even remotely crossed my mind that I was writing it for us. Jeremy didn’t either. Though he did cry when he read it, and we talked about how grateful we were for the things we knew and the ways adoption had changed our lives. And that was that.

Until a few weeks ago... That’s when we were sitting at Elli’s IEP meeting. There we were, Jeremy, myself, and four of the WONDERFUL women who give of their hearts and expertise each preschool day. Elli was in a corner of the room, jumping and playing with the toys. Jeremy thought to himself how grateful he was for the wonderful resources we had to help Elli. For all the help that these women were giving her. And he looked over at Elli and thought how her blindness wasn’t really an issue—it was her cognitive delays that were so hard to deal with. And then the thought entered his mind, “There is a little girl in China who is just blind.”

And he knew.

He describes it as a triangle being formed that day between him, and her, and God. That perhaps more than with any of our other children, he KNEW she was meant to be ours. He couldn’t remember what she looked like, how old she was—nothing except that he loved her.

And so later that day I got a phone call. (: (Usually it’s the other way around.) I was overwhelmed (I had long since given up the idea of adopting her—though I will admit I kept thinking about that ladybug) but looked up her file. As it turns out, that VERY day, her file had been marked to be returned to China. This happens when nobody shows interest in a child over a period of several months, and the agency is forced to return their file. Sometimes these files are sent to another agency, and sometimes they are kept in China and the children are deemed “unadoptable.” So it’s no coincidence that Jeremy had his experience on the day that he did.

I must say that I was worried that our agency would think we were crazy when I called and asked them to hold on to that file for just a few more days! It meant the world to me that they were so thrilled and supportive of us considering her. It gave me assurance that maybe I could do this crazy thing. It didn’t take long—just a few days of fasting and prayer before I knew what Jeremy knew.

That she is ours.

That all of my concerns had been answered by myself in my blog entry! That I needed to let go of my fears and embrace the blessing that our Heavenly Father was placing in our lives. The blessing of another beautiful little China doll. Who happens to have a birthday right in between Xander’s and Elli’s, making, ahem… THREE in kindergarten next year. You know, cause we always wanted triplets. Or not. (:

Telling our children was such a sweet experience. We have always asked for their input in our adoptions. We took each of them to dinner with us, individually, over the next couple of weeks to tell them about this little girl and see what they thought. Each responded so beautifully and selflessly. I just fell more in love with my kiddos!! My favorite response was from Xander, who jumped up and down, laughing and saying in his cute Chinese accent, “YAY! More family for my family!”

☺☺☺☺☺☺

And that, folks, is exactly how I feel—more family for my family!!! YAY!!!!

Here she is…



Dang Ling You.

Surname, the same as Elli and Xander's. Given name the same as Graci's middle name in Chinese. Fun!

And as soon as I figure out how to do it, I will post some VIDEO we have of her. This little girl’s smile lights up the screen!

We’re thinking “Alexis” as a first name, and calling her “Lexi.” That way it’s close to Alexander (Xander) since they’re so close in age and we’re keeping the traditional ending for our girls’ names. What do you think???

Oh, and as far as timing—it’s looking like November-ish. Just as we were receiving the bad news about Graci, we were receiving good news—pre-approval—from China. Oh, the roller-coaster of our life!

Christianne

Festival Of Trees

Salt Lake has a really beautiful tradition every year called the Festival of Trees.  It is a fundraiser for Primary Children's Hospital, a place that we have found warm and welcoming through several surgeries and office visits for our kids.  For this festival, individuals, families, businesses and other groups donate beautiful Christmas items for people to bid on.  These include Christmas trees, wreaths, playhouses, centerpieces, and other festive items.  The first year the festival was held was around 1970.  They raised $47,000 and were extremely pleased.  Last year, the festival raised close to 2.5 million!  What a blessing for the special kids at Primary Children's.

A wonderful family we go to church with, the Weavers, have decorated and donated a tree as a family tradition every year for many years.  This year they decided to theme their tree to highlight adoption generally and our family specifically.  Our kids and their kids have become great friends over the past two years and their family has heard many of our adoption stories.  As they were thinking of their tree theme for the year, they thought of the experiences we have had with ladybugs during our adoption journeys.  (Here are a few examples from our blog.)  They decided to do a ladybug tree.  It turned out absolutely amazing!

We took our entire family last night - even Elli.  (We hadn't taken Elli on a family outing for quite some time, and we quickly remembered why.  Within about 2 minutes of entering the loud and bustling crowd, she had a complete meltdown.  That's why Christi and Elli aren't in the family picture below.  They were back in the van with Elli nursing a milkshake.  Ice cream is a cure-all, no?)  It was our first visit to the Festival of Trees and what a treat it was.  Such a beautiful assortment of Christmas cheer!  The kids really enjoyed looking at the decorations and smelling the holiday smells.

When we found the Weavers' tree, we were amazed and overwhelmed with several things:  They did such a beautiful job decorating it.  It was considerably more elaborate than we had imagined, including not just a decorated tree, but many toys and holiday items surrounding it.  We were so happy to have the beauty and joy of adoption shared in such subtle and joyful way.  And we were humbled that someone loved us enough to do something like this.  What a tribute to our amazing kids!  

The picture isn't ideal because the crowd was so large it made it difficult to pose and frame a shot.  But I think it captures the essence.  

Thank you, Weavers!!!

PS.  If anyone knows the cute couple that decided to so tastefully photobomb us, please forward this on to them ;)

How it all started...

Many people have asked how we came to adopt in the first place.  This is the story of  the very beginning of our very first adoption-- our beautiful Elizabeth Mei.  It tells the first of many sweet "signs" and tender mercies that let us know that we were indeed to go forward with her adoption.  Elli has been our hardest child by a mile, and so I'm especially grateful for all of the special experiences that helped us to know it was right to adopt her.  We love our "Little Ladybug!"

And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight.       These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.”  Isaiah 42:16

The pinwheels started spinning as soon as we pulled up alongside the grave.  I jumped out of the van and started unbuckling the kids.  Taylor and Parker ran toward the headstone, pausing for just a moment to blow a kiss before taking off to play their usual game of hide and seek.  I hoisted 2 ½ year old Jessica onto my hip and walked slowly toward the place where my babies laid.

My heart was heavy today, but not with the grief of their death.  I had a decision to make, and it was perhaps the hardest decision I had ever faced.  It involved a little girl who lived across the ocean in a two-room home covered in cracked blue paint.  A home without any sign of toys.  A home with an old metal crib, which she was tied to with little ribbons for most of the day so that she would be “safe.”  A home where she had spent the last year after being found alongside a road at the age of six months and then bounced from orphanage to orphanage.  A home where she was taken care of and even loved, but not the way I knew we could love her.

I had found her photo on a list of “waiting children” from China.  After two stillbirths spaced just over a year apart, we had learned that I had some medical conditions that were not conducive to another pregnancy.  Losing our precious Jacob and Emily had left us devastated.  I loved them fiercely and wanted with all of my heart and soul to have them back.  But as we tried to make sense of their short little lives and the purpose in their deaths we began to feel a tug at our hearts.  As we studied and prayed and fasted, we decided that this tug was coming from China.  We were to adopt, and we were elated!

As we began the adoption process, we made the easy decision to go the “healthy infant” route.  After all, we had three young children, and Jessica had some medical issues that kept us extra busy.  There was no way we could handle any kind of special need, medical or otherwise.  Still, just two days before—and just two weeks into the adoption process—I had found myself perusing the waiting children site and finding “her.”  This sweet little girl who was doing her best to wriggle her way into my heart.  There was just one small issue.  This girl was blind.

Blind.

The word seemed so huge and ominous and something I was completely incapable of dealing with.  Blind!  How in the world could we parent a blind child?  It seemed impossible.   It seemed downright crazy!  So what was it about her that didn’t let me just skim past her face?  I had called Jeremy when I saw her photo—mentioning as casually as I could that there was a sweet little blind girl on the website who I thought was pretty cute.  He barely even replied before moving on to another topic of conversation and I had thought “that was that.”  Until yesterday.  Yesterday, when he had called me, crying, telling me that he had just had an experience that led him to know that we were indeed supposed to adopt that little girl.  He was sure of it.

What?!!!  I had never felt so overwhelmed in all my life.  How could we do such a thing?   We were already barely keeping our heads above water with the three precious children we currently had.  Surely, there was someone out there more capable, more prepared, more worthy of such a task.  How could I be the kind of mother this sweet girl needed?  There was just no way it was meant to be, and yet Jeremy insisted that it was.   And so I had prayed.  I prayed like I had never prayed before.  I prayed for strength and wisdom and clear direction.  I felt peace every time I prayed, but that was not enough.  I wanted more!  I needed to know that this was the right decision for me, for my family, and for this sweet little orphan girl.

So here I was.  Sitting at the graveside of my two tiny angels.  It was a place I often came when I needed clarity.   I closed my eyes and I talked to them.

“Ok, Jake and Emmy, this is the deal.  I need help.  I know I’m not supposed to ask Heavenly Father for a sign—that I’m just supposed to have faith--so I’m asking you instead.  (:  See, there’s this little girl in China who is calling out to us and I don’t know what to do.  I am scared.  No, I am terrified.  You see, she’s blind—and to me that seems like about the scariest thing to deal with in the whole world.  I need help.  I feel peace each time I pray about her, but I want more.  I want to know in a way that I’ll never doubt—even in the darkest and hardest of times!  Please, help me!”

I opened my eyes.  The sun was shining brightly and the pinwheels above their headstone were spinning faster than before.  I looked around at the other pinwheels in the cemetery.  They were still.  I knew they were there to visit me, my two precious angels.  I felt their strength as I stood up to leave.  I loaded the kids up in the van and I turned the key in the ignition.  At that point, five-year-old Parker asked, “Mom—how far have we driven in this van?”  It was a strange question, and I asked him to clarify.  “How many miles have we driven in this van?”  I asked him why he was asking that—we had never talked about mileage--  and he replied, “I don’t know!  I just had this thought in my head that I needed to ask you.”

I looked down at the odometer and read to him, “127,301 miles.”  I looked over once again at Jacob and Emily’s grave as we pulled away.  The pinwheels were spinning again, this time like crazy, while all of the other pinwheels remained still.  And I had the distinct impression come to me that the number I had just read was important.  I tried to talk myself out of it the whole drive home, but the thought would not go away.  I turned the number over and over in my head.  “127, 301.  What could the significance be?  I must be crazy!” 

Then suddenly, a warmth started to spread in my heart as I recalled that 301 was the hymn number of one of my favorite songs, “I am A Child of God.”  I sung the words in my head,

I am a child of God,

And he has sent me here,

Has given me an earthly home

With parents kind and dear.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,

Help me find the way.

Teach me all that I must do

To live with him someday.

The words to the chorus, “lead me, guide me, walk beside me” took on a new significance as I thought of this little blind girl.  My heart swelled with love for her. I felt warmth envelop my body, but I tried to push it away.

“This is silly,”  I thought.  “I’m making things up.  That number didn’t mean anything.  And 301 is only part of the number anyway—so I must be imagining things.”

Again, I felt a voice in my heart, “No, the numbers do mean something.  You need to figure it out.”  And so I told myself that I would go home and look up hymn 127 in our hymnbook.   If it seemed to have any ties whatsoever to adoption or blindness or this girl, I would believe this “prompting” or “sign” I was having.  If not, I would accept that I was certifiably crazy and hearing strange voices in my head!  I started to get excited.  What if the hymn held an answer for me?  What words of wisdom might it hold?  I could hardly wait to see, and the second I walked for the door I made a beeline for the hymnbook.  Hymn 127—“Jesus, Lover of My Soul.” 

What?  I had never even really liked that song and the lyrics had nothing to do with the answer I was seeking.   Ugh.  I shut the book in frustration and put it back on the piano.  This whole number thing was just silly after all.

And then the impression, “Read the second verse.” 

“I am going crazy!”  I thought to myself.  “My son asks me how far we’ve driven and I totally am trying to make something out of this random number and well, I’ve lost it!”

But I opened the book anway.  Verse two.  My heart started burning before I even began to read the words to the second verse.  I knew my answer was going to be there.  As I began to read, I felt as if this precious little girl from half way around the world was singing it to me:

Other refuge have I none,

Hangs my helpless soul on Thee;

Leave, oh! leave me not alone,

Still support and comfort me.

All my trust on Thee is stayed,

All my help from Thee I bring;

Cover my defenseless head

With the shadow of Thy wing.

And I knew.  This little girl, blind and defenseless and without a family was MY little girl.  My very kind and loving and compassionate Father in Heaven was entrusting her to me at that very moment.  I couldn’t leave her alone.  I wouldn’t leave her alone. 

Meeting Elli for the first time

--Christianne

Post Script:  As I was writing this, I looked up the lyrics to "Jesus, Lover of My Soul" just to make sure I had them right.  In our hymnbook, only two verses are listed and that is all I have known.  As it turns out, there are three more verses-- two of which are as follows:

1. Wilt Thou not regard my call?
   Wilt Thou not accept my prayer?
   Lo! I sink, I faint, I fall—
   Lo! on Thee I cast my care.
   Reach me out Thy gracious hand!
   While I of Thy strength receive,
   Hoping against hope I stand,
   Dying, and behold, I live.
2. Thou, O Christ, art all I want,
   More than all in Thee I find;
   Raise the fallen, cheer the faint,
   Heal the sick, and lead the blind.
   Just and holy is Thy Name,
   Source of all true righteousness;
   Thou art evermore the same,
   Thou art full of truth and grace.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   In honor of Elli, today I want to feature another child who is blind and needs a family to call his own.  Meet the cutest little three year old boy in the world:
   
   

   
   
   
   At nine months of age this child was brought to the orphanage and was blessed with a wonderful nanny who is responsible for the amazing little boy that he is today. He does not exhibit any of the typical body rocking/hand flapping traits that are often seen in blind children who are institutionalized. 

   He recently started attending classes, and when I “quietly” walk into his classroom, he always speaks English and says, “Good morning.” 

   Because of his age, he is no longer under the care of his nanny. That means he is lacking the hugs and kisses and physical contact that made him the special boy who he is today. 

   Next month, this little guy will turn four-years old and will have yet another birthday that goes unnoticed and not celebrated.
   
   

   Please watch this short video and see what a blessing he could be to your family. 

   Video link:  https://vimeo.com/106764363

   
   

   
   

Grateful!

What a day! We have been very humbled! So many people-- friends, family, and strangers-- have left the sweetest comments and words of encouragement on the blog, facebook, and youtube. It was so much fun to take breaks in between the homework and diapers and messes and Family Home Evening and dentist appointments and projects to read such nice things! It feels soooo great to have the support of so many people. Thank you for your kind words!! I am always worried that people will just think we are crazy. It’s not that I would be offended if you called us crazy. After all, it’s the same word I’ve used over and over to describe our family for several years now. As my mother-in-law put it, “You have to have a bit of crazy in you to adopt seven kids with special needs!” Are we crazy? No question.

But I am trying to let go of using that word day in and day out. I’m trying to let go of it because for me, it has been a crutch. Like if I admit we’re crazy, maybe people will think we are less so. You see, somehow, when I tell people we are adopting again, I feel almost apologetic—as if I need to justify what we are choosing to do. Don’t ask why! Probably because I used to look at other big families and think they were crazy!! I can’t tell everyone of the hours and hours of thought and prayer that went into each decision. I can’t tell them of the many sweet, sacred ways that I have been told by the Spirit that our decisions are right. I can’t tell them of the hours I have spent contemplating what each new child means to our family and of my concern for the children already in it. It’s far too deep and too personal to explain how we arrived at each decision.

That is why, when I first emailed Annie to tell her that we were not only thinking of adopting sweet “Monica” from her blog list of “wonderful waiting children,” but that we were considering “Abraham” as well, I felt the need to end my email with,

“I know—we’re certifiably crazy, right?”

And what a blessing it was when this dear lady, who I’ve never met before, and who was the first person we told of our plans, ended her very sweet response with this:

“Oh Christianne, you all are not certifiably crazy, just certifiably faithful!!!!!!!”

An immediate peace washed over me when I read those beautiful words. Here is someone who understood. In fact, she understood it more than I. To be constantly apologetic and timid when explaining our family is to take away from the beauty of God’s plan for us. Adopting special needs kids over and over may indeed be crazy, but it would be far crazier for us not to. We have been called. We have been commanded. We have been blessed beyond comprehension each time we have answered. And following our Father in Heaven is the farthest thing from crazy there is.

So thank you, Annie, for choosing the words I needed to hear. And thank you…EVERYONE… for affirming that to us today! It means so much to us—to me! And though I am sure I will again refer to us as crazy, and there is indeed a “bit of crazy” in us, I will always remember inside that we are something more important. We are faithful. And though we may fall short in so many areas, in the Lord’s commandment to “visit the fatherless in their afflictions,” we are certifiably faithful! (:


I promise to fill you in on all the details about our sweet Conner and Cali in the next few days! For now, I can tell you that they are both 11 (Parker’s age.) Conner is blind and Cali has spina bifida and a few other minor health issues. We are IN LOVE.

Thanks so much again for the love that you have all poured out today! We are feeling so, so blessed. And for those of you that keep saying we are amazing, you should see my house today!! Holy stinking cow, it is a MESS!!

By the way, Graci found a ladybug today! (The adoption community will catch the significance of that!)



Oh, and congratulations to my brother Danny, and his wife, Breanna. They had their first baby today-- a precious girl! Can't wait to meet her!!

Today made it final-- Cali is our daughter, sister, granddaughter, neice, cousin!  Watching her sign the papers that said that she formally accepted us was a beautiful thing.  We've never adopted a child old enough that they were involved in the decision-making process of finalizing the adoption.  I'll admit, there was a tiny part of me that was nervous that when the time came, she wouldn't be able to sign the papers-- it takes so much courage to leave all you know behind for some crazy American family!  I wish more than anything that I could get in her head right now and really know everything she is thinking!  She has to be experiencing so many thoughts and emotions right now.  She is typically smiling and sparkly-eyed, but she also will get thoughtful, sometimes overwhelmed/sad looks and I just want to reassure her that everything will be ok and that things will get easier.  It's so hard to watch her during those more serious times and not be able to communicate effectively with her.  In some ways, I just want to fast forward time for her...Sigh.

After finalizing the adoption this morning and doing lots of paperwork and official adoption stuff, we were given the special privilege of being able to meet Cali's biological grandmother and auntie.  We had to fight pretty hard for this, as it isn't common practice-- but we felt it was important to meet them, get pictures, and let Cali see both families together.   It isn't often that Chinese adoptees are true "orphans" in the sense that both parents have passed away.  Because this is the case with Cali, we know of her roots and background.  Seeing her grandmother and auntie was a beautiful experience.  The grandmother looked so much like Tang Min (Cali's Chinese name-- and the name we are mostly calling her right now.)  She was younger and more vibrant than I had imagined.  The auntie was just darling-- so smiley and happy to meet us.  Her husband was there as well-- all wonderful people.  Perhaps the greatest blessing of meeting them was that they were able to give us pictures of Tang Min when she was younger.  Two of them were pictures of her with her biological mother and father.  What a precious gift!  We were also able to exchange phone numbers and email addresses.  I love and appreciate the fact that she can remain tied to them because of this.  We will be seeing them one more time tomorrow, as they were rushed to get to Xi'an (they live a few hours away and it was decided very last minute that they would be allowed to come) and they wanted to buy some gifts for Cali and bring them tomorrow.  As we left today, her auntie said, "Now we are all like family."  (:  Tang Min seemed to be happy that we were able to see them, but she also seemed ok leaving, which was good.  Jeremy and I decided that whether or not seeing them made it harder or easier for her right now, that later on she would be glad that we had made the connection so that she would have the opportunity to continue a relationship if she wants to.

My brain is fuzzy with tiredness-- I hope I'm writing coherently.  (;

Taylor, Parker, Elli, Lexi, Xander, and Sophi-- I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY!  I miss YOU, blue skies, and my curling iron-- in that order!  I love you all more than I ever have before and I can't wait to get you all back in my arms where you belong!  I'm so glad that you are with Grandma and surely having a wonderful time, but it seems like you are worlds away and I am just dying to be with you again!!  Isn't it wonderful that in just a couple of weeks it will be Christmas, and we will all be enjoying it together?!!!  I'm sure that Santa has a few tricks up his sleeve, but the best gift of all will be your new sister.  She is honestly just perfect for you and you for her.  I am so grateful that she will have you as her brothers and sisters.  You are all so special and amazing and treasured more than you will ever know.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE you!!!!!!!!!!!!

At nightime, we have a tuck-in routine that includes calling each child by their nickname-- Sophi is "little butterfly" (from the movie "The Butterfly Circus"), Xander is "little Dang Xu Chu"-- he wanted to keep his Chinese name as his nickname), Elli is "little ladybug"-- and so forth.  Jer and I threw around a couple of nicknames for Tang Min, and knew immediately we had found the perfect one when we thought of "little angel." 

There is not a better word to describe her-- she is an absolute angel.

So so so grateful to call ALL of these angels mine... I LOVE MY FAMILY.


--Christianne

PS-- I was intent on getting pictures posted tonight, but we can't find our camera case.  We hope it's in the girls' room, but don't want to wake them by ringing their doorbell.  I'll try to do it in the morning...  (:

Advice for New Mothers...

Two beautiful new babies. Brynlee and Benjamin, were just born into our extended family. I wasn’t able to attend the baby showers for the two “B’s,” but just getting the invitations had me reminiscing about my own baby showers. The thing I liked best (well, besides the gifts, of course) was reading the little note cards where people had written their advice on motherhood. I don’t know if they did that at these two showers, but just in case, I thought I’d share my thoughts here! (:

(These are totally random thoughts)

1. You don’t always have to wash the binky. I know germophobics are now squirming in their chairs, but trust me—the child will live! We refer to this phenomenon as “remember the bloody toenail!” When Taylor was just over a year old, he ended up in the doctor’s office for his first stitches. After the stitches were put in place, he was walking up and down the lab while we talked to the doctor. At some point I noticed that Taylor had put something in his mouth. I coaxed it out of him and found it to be none other than… (drum roll) a big, (as in “adult,”) nasty, yellowed, bloodied, WHOLE toenail! (As I’m writing this, I’m wondering for the 100th time why we didn’t sue and get rich from the ordeal!) The doctor promptly grabbed the toenail with a napkin, threw it in the garbage, and rambled something quickly about how because Taylor didn’t have any open sores in his mouth, we didn’t need to get it tested and he should be fine. Uh-huh. HE was fine, but WE were GAGGING! What did we learn from the experience?? He survived the bloody toenail, so surely kids can survive those M & M’s they pick up off the floor of Target or the cookie crumbs eaten off the carpet, or even a binky that has fallen on the floor. We just call out "bloody toenail!" and everything's ok. Oh, and by the way, I was just kidding about suing. I hate when people sue for silly things.


2. If you like to wash the binky, go ahead and disregard #1. Because an even more important thing for a mother to learn is to disregard any advice you don’t like.

3. Speaking of the binky, (or “paci,” as they call it in the south), if you choose to use a binky, try to ignore comments from the anti-binky-police. Using a binky does not make you a bad mother. In fact, it may be the key to getting through a church service without having to leave, dinner at a nice restaurant, or most importantly, a good night’s sleep. And if your child happens to be one of the children that gets super attached to the binky—do not despair. You know your child best and will know when to throw a bye-bye binky party. And you will probably cry right along with your child as you watch their alligator tears when they find the binky is permanently gone. But you will both get through it. And when someone tries to tell you that a binky stunts language development, send them to meet my darling niece Mariah! She was very attached to her binky until she was three and is quite possibly the best conversationalist I know. I could listen to her talk for HOURS! Her little voice is seriously the cutest on the planet.


4. The desitin goes in the wet-wipe container. When my sister Becky taught me this, I thought she was BRILLIANT! I could never find the desitin when I needed it until I learned this trick. Now all you have to do is keep track of the wet wipes!

5. Moving on to when children get older… (cause I’m just typing whatever comes to mind). Color code the towels, and get them a washcloth to match. For instance, Graci gets pink, Taylor-blue, Parker-orange, etc. Tell them you will wash the towels ONCE a week. Tell them if they can’t find THEIR towel, they can use their wash cloth to dry off! Trust me, this will save you loads and loads of towels that were clean enough to be used again, but somehow found their way into the hamper instead.

6. Don’t really follow through on the wash cloth threat. Your children will not find it funny. Give lots of second chances. Which reminds me of…

7. The whole “Love and Logic” has some great principles. (Our school uses it, so I actually read the book.) But sometimes you just have to rely on your parental instinct. For example, Love and Logic would tell you that when your child calls home and tells you in a quivering voice that they forgot their sack lunch, and lunch starts in two minutes you should respond by saying, “so what do you plan to do about that?” Really??? The child is probably already stressed and embarrassed about the forgotten lunch and you are just making it worse. Instead, add an extra treat to the lunch with a little love note on a napkin, and high-tail it up to the school. Your child just might give you a big hug in front of his friends and thank-you again when you pick him up from school. And again when you tuck him in that night. Maybe you aren’t teaching responsibility in the way Love and Logic says, but you are letting him know that when he makes a mistake, he can come to you!

8. Never yell or demean.

9. They will pick up your eating habits, so teach them good things. For example, I hate mayo, so I’ve never put much on my kids’ sandwiches. Now they don’t like it either, which is fine because it’s unhealthy. I’ve never buttered their bread, and now they prefer it plain—which is great! And Taylor thinks he’s going to die if he drinks anything but skim milk.

10. Chocolate in any form is an exception to rule 9. Make sure they love it. I mean, who wants to go through life without chocolate. (Besides my father-in-law, that is).

11. Make up a nickname and use it to tuck them in at night. This one came from Jer’s parents and we love it!!! Every night when we tuck Taylor in, we sing, “Are you my little sunshine?” He sings back, “I’m your little sunshine.” Then, “I love you,” “I love you,” “Goodnight!” “Goodnight.” Parker is punkin’, Jessica/princess, Elli/ladybug, Graci/tiger-blackbird (long story), and Xander/Dang Xu Chu (we kept his Chinese name as his nickname at night). I’m hoping they’ll still do this with us when they’re 18!

12. Read scriptures with your children every single day.

13. When your four-year-old son decides he wants to be a pink Care Bear for Halloween, and you know he will be parading in his costume throughout the high school as part of his preschool party, it is ok to wait until Walmart is all out of pink so you can settle for blue. He will thank you when he’s older.

14. Keep dating your husband.

15. Pray as a family, morning and night.

16. Never buy them soda when you go out to eat. Ok, that was totally random, but hear me out!! If you want to give your kids soda, buy it by the 2-litre and have it at home. Just teach them that when you go out to eat (even at McDonalds) that you just get water. If you start young, they won’t think it’s weird. (I don’t think my kids would even consider asking for anything other than water—unless they’re with Grandpa, of course!) You will be grateful when someday you find yourself with six children and you realize you can save a truckload of money! You will be even more grateful when their almost-full cup spills all over the floor of your car/minivan/12 passenger beast.

17. Let kids who are close in age share their socks and underwear. You may think this is gross, but I promise you, it’s a great system! Just have a sock bin and an underwear bin and you won’t have to remember whose are whose. Incidentally, even Xander shares his socks with the older boys because of his cute, funky little (or not so little) feet! (:

18. You will sleep again.


19. You will not, however, ever look like you did before you pregnant. Oh wait, maybe that's just me and has something to do with #10.

20. Let your children see your face light up when they come into the room. Even if you are not feeling lit up about it inside. (:

I could go on and on, but my bed and cute sleeping husband is calling out to me! I’ll end with the very cliché but very true, “Love every second. They really do grow up too fast!”



Christianne