Friday, March 2, 2012

The hardest part about being a mom

are conversations like the one I just had with Lexi:

"Mom, why I blind?"

"Because that's the way you were born."

"But why my eyes can't see? Are they broken?"

"Yes, your eyes are broken."

"But it's not FAIR!"

"I know, honey. It's not fair."

"But I tired of being blind!" (sobs begin) "I want to see you!"

"Come here, sweetie." (I put her hands on my face) "You can see me with your hands."

"But I want to see you with my eyes! I don't want to be blind anymore!"

"Lexi, someday you won't be blind anymore. Because Jesus will heal you. And you will be able to see me with your eyes."

"I want to see you right now!" (tears continue to pour)

"I know."

"I don't like being blind. Because I trip a lot. And I want to see Erin C."

"You will see Erin C. in heaven. And you will run around and play with her. And she won't need to hold your hand while you walk, but you will hold hands anyway because you love each other."

"Can I see Denise (Erin's mom) too? Because I want to know what she looks like."

"Yes, you can see everyone in heaven!"

(little bit of a smile, but still sniffling)

"I want to go to heaven."

"I know, I know."

These are the kind of conversations I've had with many of my kids about their unique struggles. There aren't words to explain how hard it is.

Luckily, Sophi is still at the blissfully easy place where a conversation with her goes like this:

"Why I not have hands?"

"Because you have feet-hands" (her terminology)

"Oh... good!!!"



  1. Your responses to Lexi's questions were so perfect. Someday Lexi will understand what a great compensation it is to have parents who can teach her how to "see" with her spiritual eyes, something many people spend a lifetime pursuing . . . and never finding.

  2. Oh, sweet Christi! I don't know how you do it! The hard work and busyness is one thing, but those heart-wrenching conversations are quite another. Thanks for being an angel!

  3. Those are the questions that hurt. If only our children could see the lives they touch, the blessing they are to others.

  4. You have wonderful responses to your children. I just found your blog through the links on Adv for WC. My youngest child is adopted from China & is visually impaired. It is nice to "meet" you and follow your blog.


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