Monday, May 6, 2013

Joys and Sorrows

OK.  So this miracle has been coming for a long time.  It's been a year since Chrissy Probst first came and told Christi that she felt inspired that she (and whoever would help) needed to build us a home.  From that first day I have experienced so many emotions.  Excitement, humility, fear, joy, disappointment, hope, discouragement, gratitude, and many others.  I have alternately felt like this was absolutely going to work and like there was no way it would happen.  Even since last month at the groundbreaking I have been kind of numb.  Like this just doesn't happen.  Like this can't be real. 

Something clicked today.  We went up after the framers were done for the day.  The basement is probably 75% framed in.  It is really starting to look like a house.  And it hit me.  This is ours!  We will be moving in less than four months.  And it is big!  It will fit our family so well.  And yet, as Christi is so happy about, it doesn't feel TOO big.  It is a fantastic size for our family.  As we walked through this evening, I was filled with a no-caveat joy.  I wasn't worried about any details.  I didn't feel any guilt for being the recipient of such an unheard of gift.  I was just absolutely thrilled for our family.  Thrilled for our kids.  I literally started jumping around and yelping like a kid on Christmas morning.  I carried Cali through it and watched her eyes get big as I explained different rooms to her.  I saw her get so excited as I showed her the elevator shaft.  This is such an incredible thing that you are all helping with!  Thank you.  Thank you!  THANK YOU!!!

Elli has lots of tricks.  This was one of her better ones.  We know this window was shut and the screen was in place when she went in the room.  We think the window was locked.  Go Elli!  (Notice she is directly above the basement window well below...)

Cali is doing so well!  90% of the time she seems so comfortable and happy in her new surroundings and with her new family.  But there are times when she clearly struggles with all the change.  Tears may be shed.  She may just seem down.  Or she may actually show some frustration with something or someone.  The other day she was in a sad mood.  I asked her what she wanted, but she wouldn't answer.  I pressed a little, really wanting to know if there was something I could do to help her.  Someone I could talk to about something they were doing which hurt her.  Finally she answered my question.  The first time I didn't quite catch what she said, so I asked her to repeat it.  She tearfully said, "I want to stand up."

Oh, Cali.  Someday you will. 

Once again, please know how grateful we are to everyone who is making her now so much more manageable with this beautiful new home.


PS. Graci had another trip to the ER on Sunday night. She is doing ok, but golly that poor girl has gone through a lot lately!


  1. It is starting to look like a house! The whole thing is so amazing. Elli is Houdini. And sweet, sweet Cali...we take so much for granted.

  2. Jer - this one is so powerful - it covers all of the emotions that we feel for our kids...and I too know that Cali will someday stand! And Elli - well dude - she's cool!

    the joy and the sorrow - the, what is the word - emptiness - that we feel when we can't meet our child's needs (at least on this earth or for this time)...

    And Graci - know that there is not a day that passes that we don't think of and pray for you and your family!

    Thanks for the call dude - one day I won't need these dang hearing aids and we'll actually be able to speak! ;)

    love you guys - hugs around - aus and co.

  3. Please tell Cali how grateful to God I am that she is in that wheelchair. Had she not been I'd never have met her that day at the orphanage. She would not have her beautiful family. These medical needs our kids have are marks of God's love for all of us. They are how we came together as families. Our Lord gave Cali spina bifida as a gift knowing exactly where it would take her. We Catholics have a prayer we say that refers to this life as "this our exile." Truly it is. Part of Cali's exile is that spina bifida. I believe it will help her soul soar to a higher place in Heaven. I sure do love y'all. I do hope we meet in person soon.

  4. Oh and Elli, my goodness girl! I hope her next room is in that great big basement! hahaha


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