I'm What?

This morning I came upstairs looking for Christi. I walked into our bedroom where she was taking care of Elli. I started talking to Christi and after a few minutes Jesi came in and said, looking intently at me, "Dad, you're bugging me over!" "I'm what?" I asked. "You're bugging me over!" "What does that mean?" "It means, you're making me not concentrate on my TV!"-followed by a big, heartfelt sigh of despair. Apparently I talk too loud...:)

A couple of days ago one of Christi's friends posted a comment to our "Home Alone" post. In the comment she said "Jeremy-nobody does superdad like you do..." Christi was standing next to me as I read it, and I turned to her and said, "Lucky she doesn't know how much I stink as a dad sometimes!" Then, sweet little Jesi, who was also in the room, very seriously said: "Dad, you don't stink! You're so handsome!" Then she gave me a big hug. Made my day. Jesi does that often. Several times a day, she'll see me and excitedly say, "Daaaaddddyyyy!", then rush to me and give me a huge bear hug. It doesn't get any better than that:)

Last week Christi was very creative for our family home evening treat and toasted marshmallows in the oven. With ONE marshmallow, Jesi created this mess:

Gotta love kids!

Jeremy

Spring is in the air!

I thought I would surprise Jeremy by taking some pics of his beautiful spring flowers so I could post them and brag about what a wonderful husband I have! Then as I looked at the pictures, I realized the lawn needed mowing (which he is usually VERY good about keeping up with) and so he might not like the pictures. Nevertheless, I am posting them, because I think they are BEAUTIFUL! Thank you, Jeremy, for taking the time to plant these last fall!!! (: Also, as I was uploading these photos I found another interesting photo that I hadn't seen for awhile. This is from our sweet Taylor, who loves to chew on everything and once in awhile, accidentally swallows random objects-- you know, like screws and such. (:

Home Alone

Well, not exactly alone. I'm home with five ragamuffins but no wife. One can feel rather alone under those circumstances. Christi left last night and will be home tomorrow morning. Her mom is in charge of a spiritual/motivational conference for women in their area, and Christi was asked to give a 50-minute presentation. So I don't envy her the task of preparing for or giving the presentation. But now the conference is over, and Christi is relaxing at her parents home with no kids to take care of. I am a bit envious of that.

The morning started out with a bang. Elli went to the bathroom in the bathtub. (Sidenote: I am so proud of Jessica right now! She is sitting in my lap as I type this. She commented on how quickly I was typing. Then, just after I typed Elli's name, she said, "Why are you putting Elli up there?" WOW! I can't believe she was able to recognize Elli's name so quickly and so well. Cool:) Anyway, I discovered Elli's treat for me when I asked Jesi to look in on Elli in the tub. Jesi called out to me: "Daddy, the water is all brown!" Ah, the joys of parenthood. Everything has been cleaned up now, and the kids are doing pretty well.

For part of Christi's presentation, she put together a slide show of pictures about Elli. Here it is:



Have a great weekend!

Jeremy

No Stopping Ellie

No, I didn't misspell our daughter's name. I just had to post this poignant and heart-warming video from CNN. There is so much good that can be done in the world. So many opportunities to serve and help. I am determined to spend less time focused on myself and more time focused on helping others.

Jeremy

Faces, Followers and Flash Mobs

Some of you know that I'm a songwriter at heart. (Unfortunately, no one in Nashville who could do anything about it seemed to share that opinion. But I digress...) Anyway, as a songwriter, I adore alliteration. I'm particularly pleased when I can craft a clever catch-phrase as the preface to a post. But I must admit, I stretched it a bit today. All of the titular tie-ins work, but they're not as natural as the ones I usually use, if you get where I'm going:) By the way, a few of you have said you enjoy my posts on this blog. I really must throw a shout out to my little sister, Jen, who is an inspiration to me in many ways, not the least of which is her tremendous talent for turning a phrase!

Faces: (Well, I guess it's really just "face".)

The other day I was practicing baseball with Taylor. That kid is very determined when he puts his mind to something. He's played first base for several years, but his coaches this year haven't had the chance to see how well he can play that position. So he's playing in the outfield for the first time ever. The younger you are, the more boring the outfield positions are. In his 9-10 year-old league, there is beginning to be some action out there, but it's still a bit of a disappointment for him. Anyway, he wanted to practice playing outfield. I stood at home plate and he ran out to center field. I then began to hit grounders, line-drives, and fly balls to him. On the very first hit, the ball came at Taylor hard, and took a crazy bounce just as it reached him. It jumped up and hit him full on the chin. Taylor dropped to the ground in tears. I ran out to him and held him for a few minutes. I asked if we should just quit for the day, but that determined little man stayed out there for another 45 minutes. And he worked HARD! I'm extremely proud of him. He is going to accomplish great things in life:)

As a testament to the pain he suffered, I present the following photo:

See that half circle of little red dots to the right of his lips and chin? Those are the marks the stitches on the baseball left when it hit him!

Followers:

So this one was the stretch. I looked at a thesaurus to try and find a word that meant "imitate" and started with an "f." Follower was the only one. So Jesi is really more of an "imitator" than a "follower," but then we'd be absent the alliteration, now, wouldn't we:) Jesi LOVES Graci. ADORES her. Wants to be just like her. So tonight, they decided that Jesi would BE Graci. They dressed in jammies that were alike. Both wore bathrobes. Both wore glasses. They were both "Graci." Jesi demanded that we call her "Graci." Here are the cute pictures:






What, you may ask, is that black thing on Jesi's head? That is a pair of tights with a pony-tail in it. That was their way of making Jesi have black hair, just like Graci! Pretty clever-- especially to have come up with it all by themselves!

Flash Mobs:

For those of you who are not familiar with flash mobs, here is the wikipedia defenition:

A flash mob (or flashmob[1]) is a large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual action for a brief time, then quickly disperse. The term flash mob is generally applied only to gatherings organized via social media or viral emails, rather than those organized by public relations firms or for a publicity stunt.

This is a hilarious, recent phenomenon. If you waste much time browsing the internet anyway, you-tube videos of various flash mobs are as good a waste of time as any:) Here is one of the best I've seen. Remember, the people who aren't part of the group have no idea what's going on. (I recommend double clicking on the video clip, so it opens in its own window. Then blow the you-tube video up to full-screen.)



Well, I hope you've enjoyed my awful attempts at alliteration. I hope you've found the photos to your fancy. And if you ever find yourself forming a flash mob, feel free to phone me!

Jeremy

We'll miss them when they're gone...

One of the favorite posts I've ever read was written by my friend Teri. It was a picture of an apple core sitting in her bathroom sink, entitled "I'll miss her when she's gone." I thought it was the most perfect caption for such a picture, and immediately looked around at all the crazy things in my house that I would someday miss. Well, the other day, I grabbed my camera and went through the house. I didn't pose anything-- just took pictures of some of the things I would truly miss when they are gone!

Elli obviously gets a little carried away in her rocking chair!
Jesi's dress-up closet
game shelf

this wasn't staged (:
I had spent forever earlier that day looking for the syrup and finally making homemade!

Half of our blinds look like this, thanks to Elli...

What?

Our bedroom wall

Our boys have had these out in our kitchen for the last five years-- they save 10% of their money for their "Missionary Fund." Every time it gets filled up, we match it and put it in the bank. They are so proud of all they have saved!

Sign on the girls' door

The bunk bed ladder

Graci's "kiddos" make it hard for her to find room to sleep, but she will NOT get rid of any of them

Graci is GREAT at cleaning her room, but insists on keeping her vanity like this!

Jessica's dresser-- YIKES!!!
Last week, Parker was apparently having a bad day. I came into the kitchen, where Taylor and Graci were making him a "treasure hunt" to cheer him up. They even provided the treasure-- $3.00 and two pieces of gum. (:

boys' dresser-- need I say more?

Taylor's bed-- Spidey, Doggie, and Wooly. Sigh.

I told Parker to find a special place for his Wolf Cub Scout book so he wouldn't lose it. I guess I should have paid attention to the banging going on in his room... He does get points for creativity!


This is a picture of the contents of ONE of Taylor's pair of pants! The boy's pockets are like this EVERY DAY-- he has been like this since he was a toddler!

And I just HAD to add this one!


Oh how we will miss our precious children! WE LOVE YOU!

My New Boyfriend

Parker and Taylor have lately found great amusement and hilarity in leaving phone messages on our cell phones. Yesterday I got the following one from Parker:

"You're one HOT MAMA! Have I ever told you how much I LOVE you and how CUTE you are? And one more thing, will you go to the prom with me? (giggle giggle)"

Oh, the humor of an 8-year-old. (:

By the way, click on over to Elli's blog to see how well she is coming along!

More "Jesi-isms"

While reading a book about animal mothers and babies, I pointed to the pictures and said,

"pig...piglet"
"cat...kitten"
horse...foal"
cow...calf"

And then thinking that Jessica surely knew the answer to the next one, said, "Dog..."

She looked up at me with big eyes and a triumphant grin and answered, "doglet!"

..........................

After telling Jesi that yes, I would help her fix her hair, she replied,

"You will?! Oh, Mommy, you make Heavenly Father so happy! And you are such a kind, nice, beautiful person."

..........................

"Mom, I know how to shake my hips really good, huh? Do you just love it when I shake my hips?"

Just for fun:)

I forgot to put the following video with yesterday's post. I told you I was able to get a job pretty quickly. Well, this is how:



I also came across a rather hilarious ad starring 4 future hall of fame basketball coaches. Enjoy:)

Beyond Blessed

So I've been waiting quite awhile to write this entry. With the pending adoption of Chu Chu, I was a little hesitant to follow up on my post of January 27. Since you probably don't remember, I was awake in the wee hours of the morning that day, nervous about the upcoming phone call that would let me know if I was to be one of the Pfizer employees who would be laid off. Well, I got the call, and I was laid off. It was an extremely humbling experience for me. First of all, I realized how very expendable I was. Secondly, I realized how quickly my employer could pull the proverbial rug out from under my family and me. We were going along with a comfortable income and lifestyle when all of the sudden they took that away from us. (To be fair, it was anything but all of the sudden. We knew layoffs were coming for at least a couple of months. Then, when I did get laid off, the severance package was ridiculously amazing. But in this economy, who knew when I would be able to get another job!) On top of the stress of wondering what I would do to support my family was added the uncertainty of how this might impact our adoption process with our new little guy.

A few months ago, Christi was reading in the scriptures and was pondering on the concept of "where much is given, much is required." It occurred to her at that time that the concept was also valid in reverse: "where much is required, much is given." Through the blessings that we call Taylor, Parker, Jesi, Elizabeth, Graci, and now Chu Chu, we have been given so much. But there are also certain unique things that are required of us. This is not to say that we have any more requirements or challenges than any other family. Yet the financial needs that come with adoption and a family of six children are not light. While we always felt that the Lord would take care of us, it was a bit scary not having a long-term source of income. Where much is required, much is given. Less than two months after I received my pink slip, I started another job. I am now employed by Bayer Healthcare Pharmaceuticals. I am doing virtually the same job. I didn't miss a single day of payroll, and I am receiving a substantial severance from Pfizer. Truly, we were blessed at this point. But here is where it gets ridiculous.

When I was first laid off, Christi and I were looking at our financial picture. Pfizer's severance would ensure that we would be OK for several months. However, the severance would be effectively decreased by $10,000. This is because Pfizer has an adoption assistance program which reimburses adoptive parents $10,000 once the adoption is final. Since our adoption of Chu Chu will not be final until long after my last day with Pfizer, they will no longer reimburse me for those expenses. We had obviously been planning on that $10,000 as a way to offset our adoptions costs, but it would no longer be available to us. Of course I was disappointed in this development, but had resigned myself to losing this reimbursement. Christi on the other hand, thought about things and said "Why don't you write an email to the CEO of Pfizer and ask if he will help with the adoption anyway. After all, we made all of our plans for financing this addition to our family while counting on this financial help and while you were still employed." OK. Sure. I'll just whip off an email to the CEO of a Fortune 500 company (#47 in 2008) and ask him for $10,000. I'm sure he'll have the time to read it. And once he picks himself up off the floor from the fit of incredulous laughter, I'm sure he'll make the effort to respond to me. And then I'm sure he'll say, "yeah, the check's in the mail...and Elvis is delivering it!" But...I was once taught by a church leader to listen to my wife, since she's usually more in tune with the spirit than I am. (TRUE! TRUE! TRUE!) So I humbly followed Christi's counsel and wrote a letter to the CEO of Pfizer, Inc.

About two weeks later, I received the following reply:
Jeremy:

Thank you for your note—and no need to call me Mr. Kindler, please call me Jeff.

It is very heartening to learn about your wonderful family. I have asked that we extend to you the $10,000 that is the maximum benefit under the policy so that your family can complete the adoption of Dang Xu Chu. You will be hearing from someone in HR soon.

Please accept my sincere thanks for your nine years of service to our company. I wish you and your family the very best.

Jeff

So it was me who had to pick myself up off the floor. I was absolutely shocked. We of course sent a reply with our deep gratitude. Shortly after my last day at Pfizer, I received the money (unfortunately, no Elvis). Mr. Kindler had not only extended this incredible gift to our family, he actually grossed the check up-he paid our taxes on it! This was worth over $1000 more! How can I begin to express how grateful we are for these tremendous blessings? Indeed, we are truly Beyond Blessed.

We are also so blessed through the wonderful family and friends that we have. So many prayers have been and continue to be offered up on our behalf. We have felt the blessings from those prayers! Thank you, thank you, thank you. A couple of days ago, a very dear friend called me out of the blue. This is a guy I knew when I was a missionary in Thailand. We don't talk often enough. But it's the kind of friendship that doesn't require frequent communication. Whenever we do get in touch, we just pick up right where we left off. Anyway, his main purpose in calling was see if we needed any help with the adoption costs! I was so humbled that he would think of that, of us. He and his wife are not currently in a situation to adopt right now. But after reading our blog over the past several months and knowing I had been laid off, he called to see if they could help us. Again, what great friends and family we have!

One reason I have been hesitant to share this story is because I am a bit worried that the following message might be communicated: If our family is blessed because we received this financial help, then those who do not receive financial help are not blessed. THIS IS NOT TRUE! There are so many ways in which our Father in Heaven can bless His children. There are so many ways each of us are challenged and given opportunities to grow. What I do believe, even know, is that the challenges each of us receive are tailored to us. Each persons specific challenges will help them grow in the areas the Lord knows they need to grow. Although it is not easy to overcome our adversities, we will not be given more than we can handle. And as we work through whatever comes our way, we will become the individuals He wants us to become.

Happy Birthday, sweet Chu Chu!

Today our little guy turned FOUR YEARS OLD! How we wish we could be with him, spoiling him rotten and eating lots of cake and ice-cream. It does make me feel better to know that our package likely arrived sometime this week-- possibly even today! I'm pretty sure that finding out you were getting a family would be a fun birthday surprise! (:(:(:(:

We do have some good news, too! Today our dossier was finally sent to CHINA! For those of you unfamiliar with the adoption process, this is a BIG STEP. We will be finding our LID (login date) soon, and then we can start the countdown to LOA (letter of acceptance) and TA (travel approval). Right now, the average wait time from LID to TA is 4-5 months. This is TOO LONG for our liking, so we are praying for it to go faster! Once you receive your TA, you usually travel within 2 weeks. We are REALLY wanting to travel this summer, so my parents can watch Elli and the boys (Graci and Jesi are going with us). My parents are both teachers, and it would be easier for them, and for my kids, if we could get back before school started in late August. Of course, more importantly than the convenience of summer travel is that our little guy is waiting for us and we are DYING to bring him home! It has been six months since we first saw his sweet little face on the waiting child list, and we don't want to wait another six!! So we're praying that the 4-5 months will be more like 2-3 months, and we know it can happen if it is His will.

So, our darling son,

Next year on this day you will wake up with your favorite breakfast brought to you in bed. The birthday song will be sung by your five adoring siblings, and your two very grateful parents. You will have gifts and cake and balloons. You will have a house full of friends at whatever kind of party you choose. You will smile and giggle and be hugged ferociously. You will be spoiled by grandparents, and high-fived by neighbors. But know, dear Chu Chu, you will not be loved any more then than you are right now by me. You may not be in our home yet, but you are in our hearts. Tonight I trust that our Heavenly Father will hold you, and stroke your cheek for me. That He will speak peace to your heart, and put a smile on your face. I pray He will give you dreams of this new family that will soon be yours. We miss you, we pray for you, and we love you.

Happy 4th Birthday-- your last one alone!

Love,
Your mommy

Fashion Show

Graci and Jesi are both in dance and will be in a recital in a couple of months. They just got their costumes for the performance. They both had photo sessions with their dance groups in the last two days. They got dolled up in make-up and curls. Wow are they beautiful! The photographers could not believe how gorgeous Graci is. Unfortunately, we forgot to take any of our own pics of Graci in her outfit, but we did get a few of Jess. What a doll!:) (And of course, when we started taking pictures of Jesi, Graci had to get in on the action, at least a little bit!)

Care packages and Funky Hair

First of all, going back to my post 2 days ago, I was told that I sounded a little bitter. This is one of the problems of blogging-- sometimes the tone of the message does not come across as it is meant. If you could see my body language and hear my voice, you would know that it wasn't written with any bitterness. They were just honestly things that are a concern to me because my children hear them so often, and I want them to feel very secure in their position in our family. My friend, Kim, added a couple of points on her blog (click here). One thing that I want to reiterate is how much I love the birthparents of Elli, Graci, and Chu Chu. It hurt so much when I first realized that Graci hadn't been taught how much they must have loved her to give her a chance to be adopted. You can be assured that we speak VERY highly of them. Birthparents are amazing people who show the purest love there is by making a plan for their children to be adopted. She loves to have me tell her over and over about how in heaven, she will get to see ALL of her parents whenever she wants (birthparents, foster parents, and us)!

On another note, it's been awhile since I've written about our little Chu Chu. I suppose that this is because I have become very frustrated with the SLOWNESS of the adoption process, and sometimes even thinking about it just gets my blood boiling. I am trying very hard to turn it over to the Lord and not let it get to me, but I'm not succeeding at that very well. Because of the Hague Convention, the adoption process has changed this time around. We had to get different paperwork done (including a police clearance from THAILAND because Jeremy spent time there as a missionary before we were even married)! The kinks in the new process have not all been worked out, and we are finding ourselves a little overwhelmed at how everything seems to take a lot longer than is needed. Just last week we found out about another problem with our dossier, and another added step for all the families who are adopting under the new rules. When we first decided to adopt again, it looked like we would be traveling in June. Now I think we would find ourselves very lucky to go in August. It's so difficult when you have these precious pictures of a child you already love and there is nothing you can do to speed the process. AGH.

Still, I am trying to dwell on the good-- and we did have something fun happen last week! We sent Chu Chu his first package!! We had permission to do this last fall, but we decided to wait until it was closer to the time we would get him. He is so young, and we know it will already seem like forever between the time he learns of us until the time we travel to get him. But we couldn't put it off much longer and had so much fun putting together this little care package:






The package will be his way of finding out that he is to be adopted. Can you imagine hearing that? We've asked Graci what it was like for her, and it is precious to hear her talk about. We sent him an album with lots of fun family pictures, and also letters from each of us. We also sent a shirt, camera, toy car, treats just for him, and treats to share with his friends. I am so excited for him to get it!!!!!! As for his name, we are still undecided. Someone made a comment on a previous post that we should consider keeping his Chinese name. We have found through research and lots of adoption classes that children adopted from other countries usually prefer to get a new name. It can give them a sense of a fresh start, and also make them feel more a part of their new family and culture. With Graci, we gave her the option of going by her Chinese name, Chun Ling, or the name we chose for her, Graci Kate. At first, she preferred Chun Ling, but gradually decided on Graci. I think that had something to do with her being frustrated at the way Jessica pronounced it "ching-a-ling!" We will of course give Chu Chu the same option. By the way, his name is Dang Xu Chu, but we understand he probably goes by Chu Chu, just as Graci went by Ling Ling (at least with her foster family) and Elli went by Hui Hui (pronounced Hway Hway). Anyway... if you have any other great ideas for names for this little darling of ours, feel free to share, as we still can't quite seem to find the perfect one.

Changing subjects, the older kids had crazy hair day at their school last week. The boys were set on having "Y"s in their hair, and because Jeremy couldn't find any blue hair dye (kids from the school had raided all the nearby stores) he put blue food coloring in white gel. I was a little worried about it coming out, but it wasn't a problem.



The best part was when Jeremy painted a "Y" on his own hair and went and surprised them for lunch. I don't think that dads come better than that. He's not doing too bad as a husband either-- last night we began "Pride and Predjudice" with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle and he is actually excited to watch more of it with me tonight! What a great guy! (:

We love Ferron!

We spent the weekend in Ferron with my parents and had such a good time! It is always so good to go home. I think myself very lucky to have a husband who would suggest going to his in-laws for the weekend!! He loves it there as much as I do. The kids had fun going on "adventures" (exploring around Grandpa's farm). We packed a picnic and drove to see some Indian writings, and the kids had a great time hiking the red cliffs. They also loved playing ping pong, putting together an erector set, playing board games, cooking with Grandma, getting ice-cream from Gilly's, and of course, watching March Madness. (:

Thanks, Mom and Dad, for making it so much fun to bring our family there-- we love you!

Real Parents

Several days ago I was at a meeting and we were discussing the background of a girl who had been adopted. At one point, the comment was made, "...and then her real mom..." She was of course referring to the biological mother of this girl. The woman who made this comment is the sweetest in the world-- and I knew that she didn't understand how that comment could be hurtful-- so I didn't say anything. But that comment kept going over and over in my mind... "And then her REAL mom..."

Which leads me to writing this post. I know that there are many of you out there that may not be sure what terminology is or isn't appropriate when talking about adoption. And if you have said the wrong thing in the past, be sure to know that most people are very understanding and know your intent. I have had many comments from AMAZING, WONDERFUL people who just didn't know the right thing to say, as I'm sure I have done many times in my life.

So, here are some suggestions:

#1. Never use the term "real" when discussing a birthparent. As Jeremy said it to me well, "If you are not Elli's real mom, then who in the world is?" When referring to a child's birthparents, they should be called just that-- "birthparents." They can also be referred to as biological parents or even first parents. An adoptive parent can be called "adoptive parent," "forever parent," or just "parent!" The term "real" takes away from the very realness of an adoptive family. Now, I can assure you that we hold the birthparents of our adopted children in the absolute highest regard. They are sacred to me, and I will one day fall at their feet for allowing me the joy of raising the children that they weren't able to. I cannot even begin to express my love for them. Yes, they are very "real," but so are the parents who feed and change and love and adore and take care of and cuddle and do everything for these children. Calling one parent "real" makes the other parent "unreal," if that makes sense.

#2. Suggestion #1 also applies when referring to adopted children. It is very uncomfortable when people ask, "Are they your real children?" Well, of course they are! I'm never quite sure how to answer this question without making the asker look or feel stupid. An adoptive child is absolutely just as real as a biological child. To differentiate makes the child seem "less."

#3. Suggestion #1 also applies to siblings. I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked, "Are they real sisters?" This is, of course, in reference to Graci and Elli. I am very aware that what the asker is really wanting to know is if they are biological siblings. So I usually answer, "They are not biological sisters, no." I am always tempted to follow up with, "But they are very real sisters, yes!" I have never done this, however, as I hate uncomfortable situations and I wouldn't want to make someone feel bad. Still, a person should realize that asking if siblings are "REAL" especially in the presence of the children, is not the appropriate thing to do. Graci is Elli's real sibling in every sense of the word-- she loves her and takes care of her and teaches her and adores her and will be her sister forever.

#4. Avoid the question, "Do you have any children of your own?" Well, yes! THESE (adopted) children are my own! A better way to ask this is, "Do you have any biological children?" Again, I know that people have no ill intention when saying something like this, but you have to think of how an adopted child would feel when hearing this question.

#5. If you want to know how much adoption costs, by all means ask-- especially if it's because you are interested in adoption. However, try to avoid posing it this way: "How much did she cost?" HELLO! This makes a child feel as if a price tag could be put on them. The first time I was asked this I was completely speechless. I finally came up with the answer, "Well, adopting from China generally costs around $20,000, but she is priceless!"

#6. When asking more in-depth questions about adoption, try not to do it when the children are listening. For example, Graci seems to feel uncomfortable when the question is asked, "Why didn't you adopt from America?" A better way to ask this would be, "What led you to adopt from China?" But even better, ask it when it is an adult conversation. Most of the time, adopted children just want to feel the same as everyone else and not have the conversation focused around their adoption.

#7. Unless you have a good reason to ask, don't question the background of a child before they were adopted. If you do have reason to ask, do it without the child around. I can't count the times that people have said things like, "How could her parents just abandon her?" and "Does she remember her "real" parents?" right in front of Graci! These are very personal issues, and can make a child question things that they shouldn't have to question. We have been very open with Graci about her life prior to adoption, and she has slowly let us in on her memories and her past. However, she has opened up with a great deal of trust in us. We don't share her early history lightly-- in fact, I have only talked about it with VERY close family. Asking questions like, "Where was she living before you adopted her?" is fine. We would tell you that she was abandoned when she was five, put in an orphanage for a brief time, then placed with very wonderful foster parents, who we lovingly refer to as "China Mommy and Daddy." Unless you are a very good friend or close family member or have really sincere questions about adoption, I would not probe further. If you do probe, don't do it with the child around.

Of course, this is a very humble opinion from just ONE adoptive mother. I assure you that I do know that virtually every comment that could be construed negatively was meant with the best of intention. A person does not usually mean to put their foot in their mouth! (: I would much rather have someone ask a question with the wrong words than not dare ask a question at all, and I am very grateful for those who enjoy talking to me about adoption. (:(:


--Christianne
A very real mother to some very real kids of my own!

Oh, and since I'm on a roll, it is more politically correct to refer to Chinese children as "Chinese" or "Asian," not "Oriental." (Though this actually isn't something that bothers me, just thought I'd put it out there).

PS. This is now Jeremy. My favorite way to differentiate the kids is to say I have three homemade and two from China:)

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Without question, Jessica's favorite food is Cinnamon Toast Crunch. If that's not available, good old-fashioned cinnamon toast is a close second. Yesterday, she was watching a show on TV. A commercial came on and she called Christi in and said, "Mommy, this is so funny!" You can see the commercial here:

As Jesi watched it, she giggled and giggled. It's cute to see your kids grow up enough to figure out humor. And if you ever want to make Jesi's day, get her a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch:)

Jer