We'll Get There Eventually...

(written in the very very early morning hours of Saturday morning in China)

I was supposed to be composing this on a plane somewhere over the Russian seaboard.  No such luck.  Here I am at the Golden Phoenix Hotel, just a hop, skip and a jump (or a short shuttle ride) from the Beijing airport.  Real quick, in light of my propensity to miss flights from time to time, or at least to cut them VERY close, I would like to clarify that THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!  We booked this itinerary before we came to China.  We had a full two-hour layover scheduled in Beijing.  Our bags would be checked all the way to the USA, so two hours should have been PLENTY of time. Unfortunately, when we got to the airport in Hangzhou to check in for our 5pm flight, they informed us that it had been cancelled.  Cancelled?!? Can they even do that?!?  Apparently so.  As luck would have it, we were quite early and they said, “Hey, we might be able to put you on the 4pm flight.  But after getting our hopes up, they quickly dashed them with, “Nope.  There are too many of you.  You’ll have to take the 6pm flight. Scheduled to arrive at 8pm.  Exactly one hour prior to the departure of your international flight.”  And then our 6pm flight was delayed.  We deplaned at 8:30pm.  Not a chance.  So here we are in a mid-level hotel with a mostly edible buffet for Air China passengers with missed connections.  Sadly, they forgot to turn on the AC.  On the bright side, Taylor found an awesome little market in the Hangzhou airport with some genuine American snacks.  So I’m sitting here munching on Sour Cream and Onion Pringles after having eaten 1.5 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and wondering why I can’t ever seem to lose weight.  (I’ll let you decide if that’s 1.5 actual cups or 1.5 bars….)  But really, I’m once again in China as a single parent.  With FIVE kids this time.  I’ve kept my cool quite well through some very stressful situations.  Who’s going to begrudge me a calorie or two?

It does seem that we can’t do this trip without some sort of mishap.  Missed connections in LA.  Obstinate customs agents (and subsequent missed connections) in Canada.  More missed connections in LA.  Christi having to go to the ER while I’m still in China.  Missed connections in Beijing.   Jessica falling off a luggage cart and flat on her face.  All kinds of fun stuff.  I’ve actually been very impressed with all of the kids. They’ve taken things in stride and are making the best of it.  We’ll get home about one day later than anticipated.  It’s not costing us any extra money.  We’re all bone tired, but we have beds to sleep in tonight.  (Or as Taylor refers to them, box springs.)

Hangzhou was terrific.  Everybody in Graci’s foster family were their usual, wonderful selves.  They fed us, housed us and entertained us every moment we were there.  We went to an old part of town for a self-guided tour.  We were able to cross the grand canal.  This canal is over 1000 years old and over 1000 kilometers long, flowing from Beijing to Hangzhou.  (Maybe we should have taken a boat to Beijing?)  Part of the walking tour was a trip over a 1000-year old bridge.  1000 years old.  How do you even wrap your head around that?  It’s neat to be able to experience such ancient history.  On the other hand, they didn’t have accessibility regulations when this bridge was built, so three of us just lifted Cali’s whole chair all the way over the bridge.  Probably 60-80 feet uphill.  Did I mention that Graci’s family hardly let me do anything for Cali while we were there?  They are so sweet and always want to take care of everything.  We also rented boats, picked strawberries and had a virtual all-you-can-eat buffet for two straight days.  (Poor Taylor doesn’t do so well with Chinese food.  He didn’t feel so great for much of the timeL.)

The boys’ favorite part was Friday morning.  Prior to our trip Graci’s family had asked what we would like to do.  On a previous visit we had a chance to play ping-pong with a cousin of Graci’s, so we mentioned ping-pong as something that would be fun.  They arranged for a ping-pong coach to come out and give the boys a lesson.  That’s the kind of people they are.  So thoughtful.  I’ve never met anyone more attuned to what their guests want.  If there is anything we ever mention that we enjoy doing or eating, we are guaranteed to do or eat more of it the next time. They are amazing people.  (For those of you who don’t know, Graci lived for four years with a wonderful foster family.  We keep in close touch with them.  So if I refer to her China Dad or her cousin, etc. this is referring to her foster family.   Christi and I have also been deemed “America Grandma and Grandpa” to Graci’s foster niece, Ling Long.  We are both completely smittenJ.)

Outside of adopting Conner, my favorite part of this trip has been seeing our kids bond with each other and with me.  I feel like they have grown much closer by traveling together for so long.  I’m so grateful for each of them and feel so blessed to have them for the next few years.

-Jeremy

I got all the kids to the airport and on the plane!

Cali has this awesome "mean face" that is hard to capture on camera, but I got it!

Our granddaughter!

At least they give you the choice!

Graci and China Mama!

Graci, Ling Long and Ting Ting

The princess comes down the bridge!

The whole group

The cute girl next to Taylor developed a just a bit of a crush despite his being 6 years younger:)

Graci with China Mama and Baba

Taylor and Parker on a ropes course type of thing that definitely didn't have to pass any safety inspections.  Good thing mom wasn't around to use some common sense?

Strawberry greenhouses.  The catch was, you could only eat them as you picked them.  No taking them home.  No washing them off.  Intriguing.  Not sure whether this or the ropes course was more dangerous...

Boat rides!

Taylor fell asleep and Parker woke him up with typical brotherly love:)

Basketball stars

Graci in the clothes China Mama gave her

Graci's two dads!

Basketball stars

ping pong lessons

Graci and Grandma

The group!

Grandpa Green

 Exhausted at the airport.  Waiting to figure out what flight we'll get after ours was cancelled

 Cali's wheelchair is still at the airport with our checked baggage.  The loaner they gave her is huge.  She got completely wedged in while trying to get to her toothbrush.  Poor kid!

 Finally checked into the hotel, we're all exhausted and starting to get a bit loopy.  Parker puts two shopsticks in his mouth and becomes a walrus.  Good-night!!!!!!!

Home Again…Well, Sort Of

I’m writing this on 4/30/14.  I’m not sure what day it will get posted.) 

Some of the magic left with Christi.  All of us have been kind of dragging the last couple of days.  We can’t really take taxis anywhere because some of the kids would be without a parent.  The weather has been mostly rainy in Guangzhou, so we didn’t even get out of the hotel much.  All of the adoption paperwork was finished early on Tuesday morning, so all were doing was waiting for Conner’s passport with the US visa in it.  In other words, we were all bored to tears.  This morning Parker said to me, “You know, I’m ready to go home at this point.”  And honestly, I felt the same way.  We’re all pretty tired.  It sounds nice to get back to our own house and our own beds and a bit of a routine.  And yet we still had Hangzhou ahead of us.

Graci was the exception to the rule.  She was looking forward to the Hangzhou portion of our trip more than anything else.  Her beloved foster family and hometown were waiting for us.  I knew it was important to her, so I didn’t let on that I was anything but ecstatic, but inside I was really lamenting that we couldn’t just leave Guangzhou and head straight back to the good old USA.  I felt that way through the packing.  (I think Parker was worried I was going to lose my cool, but I did not!  I have been a pretty patient papa the entire tripJ.)  I felt that way through airport ticketing and security.  I felt that way on the plane.  I felt that way as we retrieved our baggage.

And then I saw China Mama.  And I was at home.  It really was a beautiful experience.  I felt like I would feel if my parents picked me up at the Portland airport or if I pulled into Christi’s childhood home in Ferron.  I was home.  I can’t say enough good things about this beautiful extended family we have half way around the world.  I love them dearly. 

In the hereafter, I look forward to many things, including:  receiving a huge bear hug from my sweet Sophi’s arms, gazing into Lexi’s eyes and asking her if I look like she imagined, having a heartfelt conversation with China Mama and China Baba in a language we can all understand.

Of course it will be wonderful to return home on Friday night.  But a piece of my heart will always live in Hangzhou.

-Jeremy

Fun Few Days!

We've had a great past few days.  On Friday we left Wuhan.  It was sad to leave Conner’s hometown and sad to leave our WONDERFUL guide, Joanna.  She did a great job navigating us through all of the necessary paperwork and became a good friend.  We hope to be able to keep in touch with her and meet up some time in the future J.

Saturday, Christi took Conner for his medical exam (poor guy had to get four shots L) and did the final adoption paperwork with our guide, Jason.  This is the fourth time we have had Jason as our CCAI guide in Guangzhou.  He has also become a friend to our family.  For some reason he no longer seems to believe us when we tell him this is our last trip….  It turned out to be a crazy stormy day, so we just stayed in the hotel for the most part.  Graci, Cali and Conner watched some Chinese TV shows.  Taylor and Parker found the NBA playoffs, although it was a different experience watching them with Cantonese commentators.  

Sunday we walked over to a beautiful nearby park.  It’s a large park with thousands of people there at any given time.  While we were strolling along a teenage girl became quite taken with Taylor.  She bravely approached him and asked if she could take a picture.  Taylor was flattered.  We took a ride on some paddle boats.  At the end of our hour, we decided to race back.  Taylor, Christi and Conner had a head start on the rest of us in the other boat, but Christi somehow managed to dump the boat’s life preserver rings in the lake and they had to spend the next 20 minutes slowly circling around and trying to collect them.  Score one for Dad’s crew!  In the evening we visited our beloved Shamian Island.  This is where we stayed during our first four trips to Guangzhou.  The White Swan hotel is still being renovated, but much closer to completion than it was when we visited in 2012.  We've become regular enough visitors that two of the shopkeepers on the island remember us when we pass through.  We had a dinner at Lucy’s, and Christi ordered her favorite peppered spaghetti dish.  It’s amazing how much of a tradition some things about this trip have become.  Really, since the beginning of 2007, we've only had one fewer trip to China than we've had Christmases!  No wonder we've developed deep ties to some things over here!

On Monday we did something new.  We visited the ChimeLong Paradise amusement park.  This is a six-flags type park about an hour taxi ride from our hotel.  They have a few very spectacular rides, including a roller coaster that claims to have one of the highest drops in the world.  It was AWESOME!!!  It was the first ride of the day for us and Conner’s first roller coaster ever.  When the ride came to a stop, Christi couldn't pry his fingers away from the bar he was holding on to.  Scared him silly, but he loved it and kept wanting more.  Another coaster had 10 inversions, including a four-in-a-row corkscrew.  Way fun.  Another adoptive family came with us on this day.  They have been living in China for two years and they have a teenage daughter who has missed interaction with other teenage girls who speak her language.  She had a great time with Cali and Graci.  While at the park, Cali and Graci purchased the cutest little masks ever.  I have the cutest girls!!!  The only hitch in this day at the amusement park was the beginning.  With seven of us, we had to split up into two taxis.  They took us to different entrances at opposite ends of the park.  We couldn't use our phones to call each other and it took us just over an hour to finally meet up!  Oh well, it still turned out to be a great time.

To end our day we took a short river cruise on the Pearl River.  This is another tradition for us in Guangzhou.  The river is so beautiful at night.  The surrounding buildings, bridges and other boats are decorated in all kinds of lights.  It’s a really nice way to spend the evening. We brought some Papa John’s pizza on board and had a lot of fun.  The LeSuers, the other adoptive couple we met up with in Xi’an, came along with us and we were able to meet their beautiful new son, Caleb.  At one point in the evening, Christi and I got to spend a few moments alone on the upper, uncovered deck.  It was very romantic to be there with my sweetheart.  A perfect ending to a momentous trip together. 

Christi got on the plane home at 6 a.m. this morning.  It’s funny.  I often spend a night away for work.  I occasionally spend four or five nights away.  But it never feels as lonely as these trips to China when Christi leaves a couple of days before I do.  I don’t know if it’s because we’re brand new parents or because we’re continents away from each other or what.  But my heart truly breaks when I watch her taxi drive away.  I love you, sweetheart.  Here’s hoping you have a great sleep somewhere over the Pacific tonight!  (OK.  This is rather sappy, but true.  As I've been writing this post, I've been listening to a playlist on my phone.  Just as I started writing about how much I’m missing my honey, Maroon 5’s “Daylight” came on.  I mean, come on!  It’s a sign.  We were meant to be!!!  Love you, hon.  The song just ended and I started it again J.)

So on we go.  Conner and I went to the US Consulate today and I took the oath for him to get his immigrant visa.  We’ll receive the visa tomorrow and leave for Hangzhou.  I may not be able to post again until we get home.  If not, thanks for all of the love and support.  We continue to be amazed at the beautiful life we have been blessed with.  We’re excited for this next chapter to unfold.

-Jeremy

Joanna with our family at the Wuhan airport

At the park across from our hotel

How could she NOT want this guy's picture?

At Lucy's Restaurant on Shamian Island

The Amusement Park

New friend

Graci and Cali with their cute masks!

Photobomb!

Cali loves selfies :)

River cruise

Hey, we look OK for being the parents of 10 kids!

To Dance For a Father

David and Kathi Peters are two wonderful people whom we have come to love over the past year and a half.  You may remember that they are working on a documentary about Chinese adoption and that our family will be part of that story.  They came out to Utah just prior to our trip to adopt Cali in 2012.  David was with us in Xi'an when we adopted Cali.  And David happened to be in Xi'an this past week when we went back to visit Cali's biological Grandma and aunt.  Besides making this documentary, they have been involved in the efforts of findMe International in making short film clips to share stories of kids in China who are waiting for families.  

With David's permission, I am re-posting something he wrote that pulled tremendously at my heartstrings as the father of many little girls:

To Dance for a Father

As little girls, my daughters loved to dance. To twirl, to curtsy, to giggle, to flirt. I remember looking on with a heart full of joy and amusement, a gaze I was sure warmed their hearts. They danced for their father. One they already had, one whose love would never waver, one whose heart they had won forever.

But imagine for a moment a young girl dancing for her father. But this time for one she didn’t know. One whose loving glance had never warmed her world, but one whose heart she just might have a chance to steal.

Let me tell you what happened yesterday. I was at the Xi’an orphanage creating short videos for findMe international to use as they advocate for older children about to age out of adoption. The sad truth is that once orphaned children reach age 14, they default to a massive subgroup called “third culture” Chinese. Invisible Children with no parents, no real family, just friends. I try to avoid thinking about birthdays, graduations and weddings for these young people.

Now a lot has changed in China and orphanages have come a long way by providing loving caregivers to raise these precious ones. But somehow it just can’t be the same as having your own family, I would imagine.

My job was to film interviews of each of the nine children brought to me by the adoption services director in hopes that through these video clips and the work of my friend Mike at findMe international, they will find families. 

Mixed emotions distract me as I unpack my gear. How is it that we live in a world where children need to “audition” for a family?

Reality show fans are very familiar with auditions. Young American Idol hopefuls do it for fame. Today, these children are doing it for families.

High stakes, if you ask me. Too high!

Early on in the filming a striking 12-year-old girl bravely stepped forward for her turn. Sheena, as I call her, was now granted the opportunity to make her “appearance.” You see, she knows that for kids like her there is a file folder tucked away in an office somewhere that bears her name and number. It contains a government style mug shot and a writeup that reads more like a tech journal than the story she wants the world to hear. 

But now she stands in front of my camera - her window to the world just opened. 

“Will anyone notice?”

Before I continue, let me explain why I call her Sheena. First it’s because her Chinese name is hard to spell and nearly impossible to say. Second, it just seems to fit. The sheen from her hair, her eyes and her heart captured mine. Also, you should know that Sheena is profoundly deaf. Hearing aids allow her somewhat of a normal life. But for some reason she didn’t have batteries for her devices today. An unwelcome quiet, I would imagine.

As the adoption services director asked her questions, she dutifully spoke and signed her answers. The grace and flow of her signing was beautiful, but still somehow I didn’t feel her “audition” was going so well. And I guess that makes sense. What person on the planet is optimized for these circumstances? 

But finally, our laundry list of questions led us to something…She could dance. 

I would imagine, for a 12-year-old orphan girl, escaping into the art of movement provided her oft’ needed solace. This made her unique, desirable…or so she may hope.

As a visual arts kind of guy, I immediately posed the question, “Will she dance for me?”

There was no hesitation. “Yes.” Her shyness held no sway over the dance within her. Earlier I had admired a nearby pond that was graced with a rather large rock formation jutting well into the air. Water was spraying forth in abstract patterns and directions. It cooled the air as well as providing a flowing rhythm of water drops dancing.

Right in front was an open area perfect for her “stage.”

I took my position and readied the camera. She walked confidently toward the pond and with her back toward me, struck her pose.

The “music” began. 

No, it wasn't from amps and loud speakers -- sounds she couldn't hear today anyway. It was music of a different sort, the soulful tune of a little girl dancing to win a father’s heart.

Music to my ears.

I wish I could read her mind. “How should I dance for my father? Do I smile? Do I give a girlish flirt? Do I swing my ponytail just so? Do I set aside my practiced routine and let the rhythm of my heart take over? I’m not sure. I just hope that he notices. I wonder what it’s like to have a father. To have him with pure hearted eyes gazing at my flowing movements, his thoughts filled with delight as he wishes for the best in the world to be my own.”

My daughters danced for me because of a love they knew. She danced for me for a love yet to be known.

As I jot down these thoughts, I’m aboard a shuttle heading to the Xi’an airport. I can’t seem to get Sheena -- or all the kids, for that matter -- out of my mind. Somehow I’m thinking there’s a father out there who will someday ride this same shuttle with this dancing girl beside him.

There sure seems to be plenty of open seats.

by David Peters