Sunday, April 22, 2012

So Ashamed

My dad tried to teach me. He really did. "Jeremy, DON"T drink the milk right out of the milk jug!" I would sneak and try to do it when he wasn't looking. I mean, what a waste of time and resources. Why walk over to the cupboard and get a cup when you can just grab the jug from the fridge and be done with it. One less item for the dishwasher as well! I like to think of it as being efficient.

As a dad myself, I of course teach my kids the same thing. "No drinking from the jug!!!" "Unless you're me!" You see, I developed this fantastic method for making it a sanitary process. I just don't touch the jug to my lips! I lean my head back, open my mouth wide and pour the milk (or orange juice) directly into my mouth from two or three centimeters above. Now I can't do this if the jug is completely full. Disaster waiting to happen. If it's about 50%-75% full, I rest the handle of the jug on my chin to stabilize it, but again, it never touches my lips. It makes my heart swell to think of all the money I have saved by doing this over the course of our marriage. I have certainly saved many full loads of cups from being washed. Ever the economizer!

The other day Parker was talking to me and in passing mentioned Jesi drinking out of the jug and how gross it was. "WHAT?!?" I asked. "Yeah. The other day I saw Jesi drinking straight out of the jug." "Was it the very last of the milk?" "Oh no!" he replied. "There was still quite a bit left." In fifteen seconds I had finally learned a lesson that my dad tried for 18 years to teach me. In my mind's eye I saw my sweet princess swigging milk like a sailor. Clearly my "Do as I say, not as I do" lectures were not working. It has been two full weeks since I swore off my addiction, and I am proud to say that not once have I lifted that cursed jug above my head to drink. I know that with determination and perseverance I can leave this detestable habit behind me.

For those of you who have ever had a drink at our house, I apologize. (I once again reaffirm that I did NOT inhale...I mean touch it to my lips.) If you come again, you can rest assured that ALL of our drinks enter a cup first!



  1. Nothing like a public confession to purge a bad habit. I am impressed by your humility . . . and your sense of humor.

    Your loving--and patient:)--father

  2. Another pro of the spinster live alone, the jug is all yours, to drink straight out of if you so desire. :)

  3. Color code your cups or assign places for them...then only change them out each morning. :-)