Saturday, June 13, 2015


Conversation while driving:

Sophi to Conner:  "What's your favorite color?"

Conner:  "I don't know color."

Sophi:  "Like, red, yellow, purple..."

Conner (interrupting):  "I know, I know.  I know color.  But I no see color.  So I don't know favorite.  I just see black.  Only black."

Sophi:  "Then black's your favorite color!"

Conner:  "No, black no my favorite!  I no like black.  I see black all day.  Black, black, black.  I no like black."

We all sit quietly.  I'm trying to comprehend the magnitude of what he has said without having my heart ripped out.   Then Conner quietly says, "Mom, I know doctor no can fix my eyes.  But you think maybe doctor fix my eyes just a little so I can see just a little like Marilyn (his friend who is visually impaired.)   Then, Lexi, piping up for the first time, says, "Conner, Jesus will fix your eyes.  And my eyes.  But it will be a long, long time.  I know-- it's not fair."

Everyone, I hope that whatever your trials and struggles are today, that you can look around you and soak in the fact that you can see.  Look at the beauty surrounding you and for just a minute, try to fully comprehend what a blessing sight is and enjoy it a little extra for my Conner and Lexi and Elli.



  1. As I am sitting here trying not to cry because the 3 year olds have smeared diaper cream all in my carpets I realize now how trivial this is in comparison to their daily struggles.

  2. Thank you so very much for this. So much light from someone who's never seen it.
    Having a disease slowly taking my sight away from me, I forget so many times how blessed I am to see right now and to have some years to slowly get used to 'black, only black'... And even then, to be able to say that my favorite color is green because it's the color of hope and the grass and the leaves...
    Thanks Lexi for the reminder that like the leaves will always sprout once again in spring, there will be 'spring' for my (and Lexi's, Connor's and Elli's) eyes, too.

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  4. This conversation among your children is very revealing. My heart breaks for them, yet rejoices in Lexi's hope. Bad as my own vision is, I am ever so grateful for what I have, and that it is somewhat correctable with lenses. I've never thought about what it is that a blind person "sees." It is interesting that Conner recognizes it as the color black. I wonder if the color black is the same to him as it is to a sighted person. I also wonder how a blind person knows for sure that he is awake and not asleep. I suppose it feels the same to them as it does to a sighted person when they awaken in a completely dark room, as in the middle of winter in the middle of the night. You can see absolutely nothing but black, yet you know that you are awake. The miracle of sight, including the universal capacity to distinguish between the beautiful and the ugly, is just another evidence that we have a very loving and intelligent Creator.

  5. Thanks for the reminder! Sight is so easy to take for granted. I love that Conner has spunk and could not be talked into black being his favorite color. I am reveling in the spring/summer flowers in Oregon these days and I will appreciate them all the more today.

  6. Oh, your children. They are so wise and so precious. There is so much to learn from them and I'm sorry they have to have disabilities so the rest of us can learn from them but grateful that they made the decision to be here regardless of the cost of mortal life. Thank you for sharing these moments.


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