Last Minute Musings

I am alone in our hotel room.  The quiet is quite therapeutic.:)  At Christi's suggestion, I made a spa appointment for the three girls, so they are all down getting manicures and pedicures.  Ah, the good life.  I started packing in earnest this morning.  Really thought I could get everything down to three 50-pound suitcases.  But no matter how much you squish 170 pounds, you just can't make it weigh less.  So, as I have done on at least two other trips to China, I went down and bought another suitcase. If it lives through the journey home, it will have been worth the money I paid for it. ;) 

I've missed at least seven of the boys' basketball games while we've been here and it's killing me.  Just got a report on Parker's game (Wendesday night local time).  Their team scored 15 points the entire first three quarters and were down by 11 with three minutes left.  At that point they went on a huge run which ended with a three by Parker to send the game into overtime.  They lost by one in OT.  Bummer, but those types of games can be great learning experiences and confidence builders.  I love watching my boys play ball!

On the way home we have a three-hour layover in Seattle.  My parents live in Portland, so they are driving up there to see us at the airport.  I'm so glad they'll get a chance to meet Cali right away.  I called them a few minutes ago to confirm they were coming and while they were on the phone, my mom spoke with Cali.  It was fun to see how excited Cali was and how much she seemed to enjoy talking to nai nai.  As they spoke together, Cali's head and mine were very close together so I could hear and do a little interpreting.  Once they were done, I took the phone again, but Cali didn't move away.  Instead, she wrapped her arms around me, gave me a big hug, and rested her head on my chest.  It was the sweetest thing.  I think she is feeling very secure with her place in our family.

I know I've said this before, and I'll likely say it again, because it is something that continues to be impressed upon my heart.  I am so grateful to Graci and Xander for their patience with me as I was learning to be an adoptive parent.  I am so grateful to have a better understanding of how important it is to just be patient and let things slide as this new, wonderful individual discovers what it means to be part of a family, and specifically, part of our family.  Harsh words or an impatient voice may result in more immediate action today, but it will only create that much more difficulty in the future for the child to bond and feel loved and safe in their new home.  I believe that biological children are sent to families in a specific order, an order that our Father in Heaven knows is best.  I've never really thought about adoption order much, but now that we have Cali, I feel that Heavenly Father's hand was very instrumental in the order that we have adopted our kids.  I needed to learn many things before I was prepared to have such a sensitive child come into my life!  And Heavenly Father knew that some of our other children were resilient enough to endure my shortcomings and make it through intact:).

I am scared.  It hasn't been easy here in China, but all we had to focus on was adoption and loving our new child.  Going home we will have to worry about work and bills, shoveling snow and mowing lawns, making meals and doing laundry (well, not too much laundry-thank you, thank you, thank you Russ and Candace!), homework, English skills, braille, doctor's appointments, paperwork for another adoption, the list goes on and on and on.  I am so grateful for my partner through all of this.  Sometimes people will express some degree of amazement at our family and what we do.  They often make comments about what good people we must be.  I appreciate the things they say and recognize that our family is unique and special.  But truly, truly, the catalyst for who we are and what our family is is my sweet wife, Christianne.  I am just a regular guy caught up in a special work.  Christi is not a regular girl.  She is an angel.  Her heart is big.  Her motives are pure.  She strives to do the right thing more than anyone else I know.  She is patient.  She is strong.  she is creative.  She is diligent.  She is valiant in her testimony of Christ.  She loves her children passionately.  She is not perfect, but she is close.  And somehow, she is mine.  Thank you, sweetheart, for going on this journey with me.

Love,

Jer

Last Night In GZ!

We took the oath at the consulate today.  Really just one more step left.  We should receive Cali's passport with a US Visa in it by 4:00pm tomorrow afternoon.  We leave Guangzhou around 8pm.  Looking forward to getting home, but I really will miss being here.  The girls have been so sweet and cute.  Graci, particularly, has looked out for me and encouraged the other girls to be sweet and obedient and grateful.  We've done a lot of shopping over the past couple of days.  Visited the pearl market today and then walked down to Shamian Island.  There are several of the shop owners there that know us by sight at this point.  Not on the second and third visit of our trip, but on the first :).  No joke.

Tonight the girls wanted to go swimming.  The temperature was probably in the upper 50s and it is an outdoor, slightly heated swimming pool.  It was a bit chilly!  But they really wanted to go, so we went.  Cali really seems to enjoy the pool.  She obviously hasn't had much experience swimming, but she's starting to get more comfortable.  At first, she didn't know how to plug her nose and go under water, but now she does it comfortably.  She goes all around the edge and like to swim across on my back.  She's even gotten better at that.

This afternoon we did group pictures with the seven CCAI families that are here.  I tried to buy Cali a Chinese dress to wear for them, but she would NOT have it.  I finally convinced her to get a shirt and a pair of shoes.  She looked so cute.  During the group picture of just the adopted kids, there were a bunch of 2-3 year olds and Cali.  But she was a great sport, in fact she looked extremely comfortable with the younger kids, which goes right along with what we've heard about her at the orphanage.  She even held one of the little boys for the pictures.  Lots of fun.

Cali continues to get more and more comfortable with us.  She has more spunk, she is talking way more and she is much more willing to assert herself now.  She has been calling us mommy and daddy, which we both absolutely love.  Tonight we were about ready to go swimming and I was on the computer.  She asked several times when we could go, and I just kept saying, "In a couple of minutes."  She finally said, in a loud voice, "Daddy!  1...2...3..."  Way to go Cali!  Needless to say, we got up and went.

Looking forward to snow capped mountaints and blue sky.  Not looking forward to icy temps.  Looking forward to hugs from Taylor, Parker, Elli, Xander, Lexi and Sophi.  Not looking forward to going back to work.  Looking forward to Christmas!  Not looking forward to being on a plane during BYU's bowl game.  Looking forward to seeing all of the kids interacting with Cali.  Not looking forward to seeing her dental x-rays.  (Hopefully they're more like Lexi's than Graci's when they got to America!)  Looking forward to her meeting the wonderful group of neighborhood girls who have been anticipating her arrival.  Not looking forward to her meeting the myriad doctors she is sure to need to see in the first few months home.  Looking forward to Cali getting integrated into school.  Not looking forward to the inevitable tears that will be shed as she adjusts to American culture, language and food.  Looking forward to sleeping in my bed.  Not looking forward to sleeping in my new bedroom:(  Looking forward to seeing Cali meet grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles and cousins. 
Heading to bed on our last night in Guangzhou!

Jer

A quick check-in!

Jer just wrote a post from China, so you can scroll down and read that first...

I made it home!  I left at 9:30 p.m. Monday evening and arrived at almost 2 a.m. this morning.  With the time difference, that makes for about a 20 hour trip-- not too bad!  Jeremy and the girls have a much longer trip home, as the cheapest way for them to fly is to take a late night flight to Beijing, stay at a hotel, take an early flight to Seattle, have a three hour layover, then fly to SLC.  With three girls.  One in a wheelchair.  Much more difficult than my route, but saves hundreds and hundreds of dollars.  So yeah, Jer's the man.  (:

It feels SOOOOOOO good to be home!  I can't say how much I missed my sweet kiddos!  It felt amazing to hug and love on them this morning.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and went and crawled in bed with Sophi, Xander, and Lexi (who all happened to be sharing a bed).  It was so much fun to have each of them wake up and see big smiles spread across their faces as they realized who was in bed with them.  A perfect start to my day.

I'm feeling a bit fuzzy from jet lag.  I want to sleep all day, but have a million things to do.  Christmas prep and shopping is on the top of the list, as is Lexi's IEP, basketball games for the boys, unpacking, catching up on emails, homework with kids, and house stuff.  Ahhh... back to reality!  (;  It's probably good I have plenty to keep me busy-- hopefully I can stay awake most of the day and be able to get a good night's rest and get my body switched to Utah time...

Mom, Dad, Matthew, Megan-- you are AMAZING.  Thanks for being such angels and taking care of the kids!!!  I love you so much and I'm so grateful for our family!  Can't wait to introduce you to your new granddaughter/niece.  (:

Jesi, Graci, and Cali-- thanks a lot for mocking my heart-felt note.  Love you too!  (;

--Christianne

Loving Guangzhou

In Christi’s much-mocked note to me, she counseled, “Be happy and enjoy this time as much as you can.”  Fantastic counsel.  I can honestly say today was one of the best days of my life.  I have so enjoyed the company of my three oldest daughters.  I am really trying to live by the adage, “Don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff!”  And it really isJ.  It has been an incredibly endearing bonding experience to be half way around the world with just the three of them.  Over the years I have had many opportunities through sports and camping to make some fantastic memories and bonds with my older boys.  But those opportunities have been less frequent with my girls.  As I have now officially retired from coaching, I have been able to enjoy more of these experiences.  And the results in my relationships with the girls are very evident. 

We were up at 7:45 today to get ready for a trip to the Guangzhou safari.  Aside from the rain, it was quite wonderful.  We saw all kinds of wildlife up close as we rode through the “Safari on wheels” portion of the park.  Then we were able to walk through the other areas and see pandas and koalas, tigers and dinosaurs (pretty decent Jurassic Park fare).  We even got to feed giraffes out of our hands.  Those are some pretty long tongues!!!  After resting for a while back at the hotel, we took a taxi down to Shamian Island, did some shopping and had dinner.  There is something about an outdoor meal at Lucy’s that completes my adoption tripJ.  We found some cross stitch patterns for the girls that will hopefully keep them interested for a portion of that long plane ride home.  Also found some good gotcha gifts and grand bag items. 

Today’s best lines:

Jessica (an email novice) while watching me type my email address into an online form:  “Hotmail?!?  What’s that mean?”  Then, after a couple seconds of thought, and with a suspicious look in her eyes, “Does that mean Christianne mail???”

Cali, at dinner after yet another taxi ride, (and through Graci as an interpreter): “Daddy, why do you always ask the taxi drivers the same questions?”  This, of course, was a reference to the fact that I can only ask about two questions in Chinese:  “Are you from Guangzhou?” and “Do you have any children?”  The funny part was that on the way home, we were in another taxi and I asked the driver, “Are you from Guangzhou?”  Cali immediately started cracking up and mocked me in front of everyone.  She has quite the sense of humor.

I am so excited to get home to my family and to the States and to Christmas.  But I am truly going to miss China and Guangzhou and the time I have here to focus entirely on three of my precious children.  Life is beautiful.

Jeremy

A few pics...

Graci with her China neice: Ling Long

Chin brother holding Graci and Bei Bei

Christi and Jesi in the middle of a swarm of elementary school kids who love their hair!

Graci with her 1st and 2nd grade teacher from Hangzhou

We love China Grandma!!!

Ling Long with her America grandparents and her China grandparents.  They decided we were her America grandparents.  We really are part of the family at this point:)

At the zoo.

Jesi, Graci, Duna and Christi

Cali after swimming

Sorry!  These pictures were part of a larger group we were trying to post, but only a few got through and in kind of random order.  We will post more when we can:)

Random Sampler

Three beautiful girls tucked into bed.  One beautiful girl somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.  One tired dad feeling lonely and very separated from the love of his life.  But it’s not too long.  Four days and we’ll all be back together again as a family.  

Cali keeps coming out of her shell. She is extremely comfortable around us now.  She is quite the goofball, particularly when she gets tired at the end of the night.  When asked to go to bed, she’ll giggle and lay on the floor and grab my leg and do anything but get into bed.  I am truly grateful for the lessons I have learned over the last six years and five adoptions.  I am much more able to realize how difficult this adjustment can be for an adopted child.  A few years ago, I would likely have become pretty stern with a child who would not obey after repeated requests.  But today I am able to not only not get stern, but not even be tempted to get stern.  I have much yet to learn, but I have certainly come a long way.  And I am grateful to the kids who have helped me learn some pretty important lessons. 

Tonight I had our wonderful guide, Jason, interpret for me as I talked to Cali for a minute.  I told her that sometimes the local people come up and talk to us as they see us with Chinese children.  Since Cali can speak Chinese, she is often the one that converses with them.  As these people learn that we have adopted six children from China, they often give us thumbs up, thank you’s and supportive comments like “very good.”  I told Cali that I truly wished I could speak Chinese so that I could tell these people that we are the ones who are blessed.  That our beautiful Tang Min is so wonderful, and we are the ones who are lucky to have her.  I hope sweet Cali understood.  I think I caught the hint of a smile as Jason explained what I was saying....

I took the girls on a riverboat cruise tonight.  The last we saw of Christi, she was waving good-bye as we drove away on the tour bus.  She left the hotel for the airport shortly after we departed.  When we returned from the airport, I found a love note from Christi on the desk in our room.  It wasn’t super sappy, but included lines like, “I had to fight the tears,” and “I will miss you.  I DO miss you.”  One of the most hilarious scenes I have ever seen ensued.  Graci picked it up and read it.  The three girls then proceeded to do dramatic readings and interpretive dance to this love letter.  Over and over again.  For at least 15 minutes.  In English and Chinese.  I was absolutely cracking up.  They all HATE the video camera, so I promised them five dollars each if they would let me video them.  I’ll try to post it when I get home.  Seriously one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Christi and I have been missing Christmas out here.  There are few decorations.  We’ve heard about three carols since we came to China.  And the weather is in the 60s.  Just doesn’t feel quite right.  So we rented Miracle on 34^th Street on iTunes and watched it last night.  Well, we started it last night around 9:30pm.  I couldn’t even make it 45 minutes without crashing, so we finished it this afternoon.  What a cheesy, fantastic movie.  With all my heart I believe in Santa Claus!

Printed on the wrapper of a new toilet paper roll in our hotel in Xi’an:

YAQI. (Whatever genius decided that “yucky” would be a good brand name for toilet paper needs to be re-enrolled in marketing 101). 

although the rose has been given,

fragrant is still here,

although the time has been gone,

love is still here forever.

On your toilet paper roll.  Romantic! J.

Dear Dad,

Missed you on the Pearl River cruise tonight.  Thought about you while standing on the open-air top and looking at the amazing neon lights of Guangzhou.  I’ve been able to satiate my grape juice fix while here.  Wish you could share it with me.  See you in Seattle.

Jer

We have a lot of poignant moments in our lives.  Pretty much every day could wipe out someone who was particularly sensitive to these things.  One of the more poignant for me has been watching Cali play with Jesi and Grace in our hotel room.  Don’t  misunderstand, she does fantastic.  She gets where she wants to go.  She gets up and down from chairs and beds.  But in a hotel room, the wheelchair is difficult to maneuver, so it’s easier for her to just ditch it and get around strictly with her arms.  Again, she’s able to do this very well, but it breaks your heart to see the effort she has to put in to do what other children can do without a second thought.  On the other hand, it has been a delight to see what she can do in her wheelchair.  At first, she just let us push her everywhere.  Now she asserts herself.  If we’re not going quick enough, she tears off at pretty fast speeds.  Remember, she’s on wheels.  She can go 0-60 a lot faster than this old guy can on his feet.  If she sees a small curb, she pops a wheelie so the front wheels clear it, and powers herself up over it.  If we’re not adept enough fitting her into tight spaces, she takes control and gets exactly where she wants.  She’s awesome!

Sorry we haven’t posted many pictures.  We’ve literally spent hours trying to, but the internet connection is pathetic.  You’ll get lots next weekend when we get home.  Cali is perfect.

Adoption trips are emotional rollercoasters.  We have had all different versions, from the smoothest, fastest rides, to the rickety old wooden coaster that gives you a pounding headache.  This one has been fantastic.  We feel so lucky to have been led to our sweet Tang Min.  She is right for our family and our family is right for her.  It’s also an unbelievable experience to be with so many other forever families who have just added their latest bundle of joy.  I am humbled to be around so many people who are so good.  I am so grateful that God has led Christi and I to this unforeseen but now ever so appreciated calling in our lives.  I am so grateful to and for Taylor, Parker, Jessica, Elizabeth, Gracelin, Alexander, Alexis, Sophia, Calais, and Conner.

I am so tired.

Jeremy

The Plan

OK.  So here’s the big news.  I have been really worried about how we are going to integrate a wheelchair into our home.  Like. Really. Worried.  Christi had gutted out the clutter in Jesi and Graci’s room, with the intention of putting Cali in there, too.  But if you know the layout of our home, you realize that this is not a very viable option.  Yesterday, Christi had an inspiration.  We need to switch rooms with the girls!  I started doing cartwheels and clicking my heels as I realized that this really is the only way to do it.  My heart swelled with joy as I pictured how easily Cali’s wheelchair will navigate the double doors into our master bedroom and how much better it will be for her to have access to our master bath.  The smile never left my face as I tried to figure out if we should put our king-sized bed into the girl’s room (which, incidentally, is painted pink, my favorite color) or put that bed into storage and utilize the bunk beds the girls have been using.

Honestly, it is probably what we’re going to have to do.  It is taking a bit of effort for me to really accept this, but I’m actually grateful Christi thought about it while we’re here in China.  Having seen the living accommodations that are reality for so many here and around the world, it seems awfully petty of me to worry if my heated, carpeted bedroom is going to be a little bit smaller going forward.

Jer

P.S.  Christi just read this post and said, “The problem is, you’re such a good person that some people won’t catch the fact that first paragraph is sarcasm.  So for those of you who have never met me (‘cuz no one who knows me could possibly have that kind of opinion of me!), the first paragraph is rife with sarcasm.  Dripping.  Reeking of insincerity.  J

The Adventure Continues...

So much to share!  Most importantly and most wonderfully, there is no question at all that Cali was meant to be a part of our family.  Christi and I are amazed at how quickly and completely she is adjusting.  Her magnetic smile comes more and more frequently.  She is eating up having a mom and dad.  And her relationship with both Graci and Jess continues to grow.  The three of them will giggle and talk and play together for hours.  Sometimes Graci and Cali will be conversing in Chinese.  At other times Jesi and Cali count together and sing the ABC’s together.  One of my favorite things is when Jesi tries to interpret things for Cali.  Jess seems to think that if she speaks slowly and clearly and uses lots of hand motions, Cali will somehow understand English.  And Jess is completely in earnest.  It’s simply darling.

Cali is also starting to become a Green in the sense of having a fun, teasing streak in her.  The first couple of days we had her, she would watch as Jesi, Graci and I would interact.  I would tickle those two.  Christi would help me tickle them back.  We also learned that Cali is very ticklish.  But she would mostly just watch.  Then last night something clicked.  We were all in the swimming pool.  Dave and Mike were even there with the cameras.  But Cali completely came out of her shell.  Jesi was doing her usual number of dunking and splashing Dad.  Suddenly Cali started splashing along with her.  It started as a bit of  a rebellion against the camera.  Cali has endured, but certainly not enjoyed, the cameras that have been rolling much of the time we’ve had her.  In the pool, Dave had me hold a waterproof Go Pro camera and follow Cali around with it.  Cali was swimming along as usual when she started to slap the water with more vigor than before.  I quickly realized that she was splashing the camera.  The little imp!  I called her on it and she got a big grin on her face.  I pointed it out to Christi and Cali started doing it more and more.  Then she started splashing me.  I got in the hot tub (right next to the pool) with Christi and Jess and Cali started dousing us with the cold water from the pool.  Later, as we were winding down, Cali started to tickle me.  I was trying to help get from the edge of the pool up to her wheelchair, but each time I’d lean down, she would reach out and tickle my stomach or under my arm.  She was having fun with her dad and loving it.  And we loved it, too!  She is an angelJ.

Yesterday afternoon was quite the adventure for us.  Our plan was to go to lunch and then go visit Cali’s friend, Duna, at her work. Dave and Mike came along with us.  After lunch, we went to the nearest busy street to catch a cab.  Taxis in China are ridiculously cheap ($3.00 for a 20 minute ride?!?), but they are also notoriously difficult to hail.  So picture us there:  Christi, Jessica, Graci, Cali in her wheelchair, and me.  Along with Dave and Mike and some of their camera equipment.  The temperature is somewhere pretty far south of freezing.  Standing between the main, incredibly busy road and the “frontage road” that runs along every major road in China.  (Never have been sure exactly what these frontage roads are for.  Buses seem to use them, but so does anyone else who finds they might be useful.  Not to mention there are also many sidewalks that double as another lane to drive and/or park on.  Glad I don’t have to pass the driver’s test in China!!!)  Christi has the girls pulled tightly to her so they don’t get clipped by an aggressive driver (and don’t get me started on the mental state of the people behind the wheel here.  For example, at the Teracotta Warriors the other day, we were helping Cali down a wheelchair ramp. A lady on a scooter behind us started honking at us.  Because we weren’t going quickly enough.  In our wheelchair. Down a wheelchair ramp.  Really?)

I stuck out my hand to stop a taxi.  Multiple taxis drove by without so much as slowing down.  Most had passengers in them.  Some were likely done for the day.  And others were probably just afraid of the crazy Americans.  Then I noticed that a group of Chinese ladies had moved up the street from us.  They, too, were trying to hail a cab and had deliberately positioned themselves so that a cab would stop for them before they stopped for us.  I am sure of this because they were literally in the middle of an intersection.  If you haven’t traveled abroad, you may not be able to envision this, but it really is true.  In many foreign countries, there are simply no traffic laws beyond “don’t hit anyone.”  So there they were, trying to steal our cab!  I pointed it out to Christi.  Her immediate response?  “Be a man!  Go get in front of them!”  So a man I became.  I walked past them and into position to get the next cab.  They started to chuckle, then started to walk past me.  I wouldn’t let them.  I walked farther up the street.  At that point they start to belly laugh at this impudent foreigner, gave up, and let me have the preferred position.

About that time, a motorcycle “taxi” pulled up to me.  He was going the wrong way along the street, right next to the curb.  This is Xi’an.  A city of 8 million people.  I would have to say that the traffic here is worse than New York City.  And he decides he’ll go head-on into traffic to find some sucker who’ll bite.  Apparently I looked like his type.  And it you’ve never ridden in a motorcycle taxi, you haven’t lived.  Motorcycle in the front, rickshaw in the back.  Three wheels (a design notorious for its stability!).  The back has had some metal bars welded onto it to provide a framework.  A rickety floor and thin plexiglass side panels complete the ensemble.  Wanna take your family for a ride through NYC in that?  Well, some nostalgia for my time in Thailand must have clouded my thinking, ‘cuz I immediately thought “Let’s do it.  I haven’t had this much fun since 1996!”  It didn’t hurt that this guy had some limited English and was quite the huckster. 

“Where you go?”  I showed him the address.  With a disgusted look on his face: “Very far.  You no get taxi.  I take you.  100 Yuan (about $17.00).  Me, looking about as intelligent as a wide mouth bass coming up alongside the boat and into the net: “Uh, OK.  Yeah.  I’ll stuff my wife, my three daughters and me into this rattletrap and then we’ll maybe carry the wheelchair in our laps.  And why don’t I write you into my will, too?”  Or something like that.  I walked back to Christi and tried to sell her on the merits of this entrepreneurial transportation guru.  “Honey, it’ll be fun!  It’s an adventure you’ll never forget.  We’ll never get a cab and it’s getting late and we may miss Duna and….”  “NO!  N.O. No!  Are you completely insane?  Go get us a cab!”  (Said in the sweetest possible way.)  So there we are.  Six Americans, one adopted sweetie and one very motivated motorcycle cabbie.  I kept trying to convince Christi it was the only way we’d get anyone to take us there.  As the cabbie kept telling me we’d never get a taxi, I used my little Chinese to say, “Mama shua bu! (Mama says no!) and then threw up my hands like ‘what’s a guy to do?’  The cabbie and the group of taxi-stealing-ladies caught the humor.  At this point, Christi gave up on the idea of me being a man and decided to take things into her own hands.  She charged down the street hollering at every cab that passed.  When one stopped to let someone out, she held the door open so the cab couldn’t leave.  With my yelled encouragement (she was 50 yards away by now) she hopped in the back seat and tried to encourage him to drive to where we were waiting.  The driver eventually helped her understand that he was now off work.  She jumped back out and continued her gesticulations until she successfully found a taxi that would take us.  Poor Dave and Mike were left with motorcycle man.  We all got there safely, but our trip only cost 21 YuanJ.

The time with Duna was extraordinary.  This wonderful lady has a heart of gold.  We’ve mentioned before how important she has been in Cali’s life.  They both arrived at the Hanzhong orphanage at about the same time.  Duna quickly sensed how sweet and sensitive Cali was and how much she needed a friend.  They have become like family in the five years since.  Recently, Duna transferred to a spot in Xi’an.  Here she works in a facility that houses six boys who have “aged out.”  All of them are 15 years old and are no longer eligible for adoption in China.  They live in an apartment that also serves as their school.  They have staff there around the clock, but Duna comes in for a normal work-day and helps these boys develop skills that will hopefully enable them to get jobs someday.  She has spearheaded this type of care in this area and clearly loves the kids she is working with.  Christi and I quickly fell in love with them, too.  At Christi’s suggestion, we quickly went down to the store around the corner and brought a bunch of treats and fruit for the kids.  They were very excited when we came back, mostly for the opportunity to hand all the things back out.  You had to be careful, or a grubby skittle might find its way right into your mouth.  Felt like an early Christmas.  Cali enjoyed seeing Duna one last time.  They really do love each other.  It was a great final day in Xi’an!

Jeremy

Just a few pictures...

Internet is sketchy here.  I spent a good deal of time last night trying to get photos uploaded.  I only got four, but I guess that's better than nothing!  If I would have known that it wasn't going to work well, I would have chosen four pictures all with Tang Min, but as it is, there's just one... At least it's super cute!!  It  is of the three girls on the night we got Tang Min.  We had gone swimming and they had just had baths-- aren't they precious?!! 

This next photo is Graci with "China Grandma."  She is one of my favorite people in the world-- just as sweet as they come.  We LOVE her!

Here is one of the meals that Graci's aunties prepared for us.  Graci has let me know that if they ever come visit us in America, I need to step it up with my cooking!  She's very proud of the many dishes they served.  (: 

This is Jesi and Graci with Bei Bei, Graci's friend from China.  They used to spend a lot of time together when they were younger.  Bei Bei is ten and full of spunk and personality-- she reminds me so much of Graci when we first adopted her-- quite the character.  (;

And there you have it!  Tomorrow we will be traveling to Guangzhou and will hopefully have better luck with the internet! 

Cali is doing so amazingly well!  We're heading to breakfast right now, but I'll try to wrtie more later and maybe try for some more pics...

--Christianne

Pictures

Recieved on 12/10/2012 at about 8:30 PM EST

Sorry we haven't posted pictures yet.  Our internet connection is not the greatest.  One of the filmmakers for the documentary has been posting several of our pictures to Facebook.  If you would like to see them, his name is Michael Rottina.  If you send him a friend request you can see us with Graci's China family and with Cali.

Jeremy

Today made it final-- Cali is our daughter, sister, granddaughter, neice, cousin!  Watching her sign the papers that said that she formally accepted us was a beautiful thing.  We've never adopted a child old enough that they were involved in the decision-making process of finalizing the adoption.  I'll admit, there was a tiny part of me that was nervous that when the time came, she wouldn't be able to sign the papers-- it takes so much courage to leave all you know behind for some crazy American family!  I wish more than anything that I could get in her head right now and really know everything she is thinking!  She has to be experiencing so many thoughts and emotions right now.  She is typically smiling and sparkly-eyed, but she also will get thoughtful, sometimes overwhelmed/sad looks and I just want to reassure her that everything will be ok and that things will get easier.  It's so hard to watch her during those more serious times and not be able to communicate effectively with her.  In some ways, I just want to fast forward time for her...Sigh.

After finalizing the adoption this morning and doing lots of paperwork and official adoption stuff, we were given the special privilege of being able to meet Cali's biological grandmother and auntie.  We had to fight pretty hard for this, as it isn't common practice-- but we felt it was important to meet them, get pictures, and let Cali see both families together.   It isn't often that Chinese adoptees are true "orphans" in the sense that both parents have passed away.  Because this is the case with Cali, we know of her roots and background.  Seeing her grandmother and auntie was a beautiful experience.  The grandmother looked so much like Tang Min (Cali's Chinese name-- and the name we are mostly calling her right now.)  She was younger and more vibrant than I had imagined.  The auntie was just darling-- so smiley and happy to meet us.  Her husband was there as well-- all wonderful people.  Perhaps the greatest blessing of meeting them was that they were able to give us pictures of Tang Min when she was younger.  Two of them were pictures of her with her biological mother and father.  What a precious gift!  We were also able to exchange phone numbers and email addresses.  I love and appreciate the fact that she can remain tied to them because of this.  We will be seeing them one more time tomorrow, as they were rushed to get to Xi'an (they live a few hours away and it was decided very last minute that they would be allowed to come) and they wanted to buy some gifts for Cali and bring them tomorrow.  As we left today, her auntie said, "Now we are all like family."  (:  Tang Min seemed to be happy that we were able to see them, but she also seemed ok leaving, which was good.  Jeremy and I decided that whether or not seeing them made it harder or easier for her right now, that later on she would be glad that we had made the connection so that she would have the opportunity to continue a relationship if she wants to.

My brain is fuzzy with tiredness-- I hope I'm writing coherently.  (;

Taylor, Parker, Elli, Lexi, Xander, and Sophi-- I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY!  I miss YOU, blue skies, and my curling iron-- in that order!  I love you all more than I ever have before and I can't wait to get you all back in my arms where you belong!  I'm so glad that you are with Grandma and surely having a wonderful time, but it seems like you are worlds away and I am just dying to be with you again!!  Isn't it wonderful that in just a couple of weeks it will be Christmas, and we will all be enjoying it together?!!!  I'm sure that Santa has a few tricks up his sleeve, but the best gift of all will be your new sister.  She is honestly just perfect for you and you for her.  I am so grateful that she will have you as her brothers and sisters.  You are all so special and amazing and treasured more than you will ever know.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE you!!!!!!!!!!!!

At nightime, we have a tuck-in routine that includes calling each child by their nickname-- Sophi is "little butterfly" (from the movie "The Butterfly Circus"), Xander is "little Dang Xu Chu"-- he wanted to keep his Chinese name as his nickname), Elli is "little ladybug"-- and so forth.  Jer and I threw around a couple of nicknames for Tang Min, and knew immediately we had found the perfect one when we thought of "little angel." 

There is not a better word to describe her-- she is an absolute angel.

So so so grateful to call ALL of these angels mine... I LOVE MY FAMILY.


--Christianne

PS-- I was intent on getting pictures posted tonight, but we can't find our camera case.  We hope it's in the girls' room, but don't want to wake them by ringing their doorbell.  I'll try to do it in the morning...  (:

Early Morning Clarity

Last night was the first night I’ve slept well in China.  Yay!!!  I got a solid eight hours and feel much better:).  I think it helped that we kept the windows open.  The temperature in our room has been blazing hot, but last night it was crisp and cool refreshing.  I’m also very grateful to have two hotel rooms.  The girls enjoy their little slumber party atmosphere in the other room.  They’re old enough to take care of their basic needs on their own.  And we’re right next door if anything major does come up.

So this peaceful morning has offered me the opportunity to think.  Here are some of my thoughts:

Cali is far more wonderful than I had envisioned her.  She is exquisite.  She is (no pun intended) like a piece of fine China.  Exquisitely beautiful.  Exquisitely precious.  A treasure to be shared and yet guarded.  Her spirit is as innocent and pure as anyone’s I’ve ever met.  She will be a great blessing to anyone she comes in contact with, of this I am quite sure.  And yet I want to be careful to keep her shielded from some of the coarse this world has to offer.  She is an extremely precious spirit of our Father in Heaven.  Of this I am sure.

The wheelchair is going to be far more challenging than I had envisioned.  This understanding for me is mostly about our home.  I’m not yet sure how this is going to work out, but I am trusting in Heavenly Father that with His help we can do this.  My already inexpressible gratitude for Chrissy Probst and the rest of the amazing people who are striving to build us a home has multiplied many fold in the last 18 hours.  A new home will make worlds of difference for our sweet Cali and for our family as we support her.

One comment on our last post included this sentence: “What a blessing Cali Rose will be to your family.”  As I have been pondering this morning, a little stroke of inspiration came to me.  It said, “One way that Cali will be this great blessing is by the spirit of peace she will bring to your home.  You, Dad, can never utter another harsh word.  Voices cannot be raised in anger.  Patience must guide your actions as a father.”  You will have to meet Cali to feel of her sweet innocence.  It just cannot be described in print.  But clearly, becoming impatient with this one is out of the question.  Such an action would simply be unacceptable.  She is as pure as a baby straight from Heaven.  Again, you will have to meet her to understand.  But once you do, you certainly will.

A reaffirmation of a thought Christi and I have discussed previously:  Our adoption journey has given us the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people.  People we never would have come in contact with otherwise.  Good people are drawn to our children, and Christi and I get the benefit of coming along for the ride.  There are many that fit into this category.  People in the local community.  People in the blogosphere.  Other adoptive parents.  People who have supported the Puzzle them Home project.  People we’ve known for years.  People we’ve barely met.  It’s just amazing how many wonderful people are drawn to our amazing children and how blessed Christi and I are for the association.  Two of these people particularly came to mind this morning.  First is Kristen, the wonderful woman who laid the groundwork for us to adopt Cali.  It was her who first discovered our sweet little girl in the orphanage.  It was Kristen who pushed for her to become adoptable.  It was Kristen who first yearned to add little Cali to her own family, but eventually found that it wasn’t right for them.  It was Kristen who posted Cali’s profile to the waiting children list.  It was Kristen who communicated with us regularly as we went through the adoption process and who expressed so much joy at each step of our journey.  Cali remembers and loves Kristen and will be excited to meet her again.  I am so grateful that our journey to Cali has brought us in contact with such a wonderful person. 

The second person that came to mind this morning is sweet Teri.  Teri, who loved Graci before we ever saw her profile.  Teri, who wanted to adopt our little Wang Chun Ling, but found that it wasn’t right for her family.  Teri, who has offered tender and tongue-in-cheek commentary to our blog for the last several years.    I look forward to meeting her in person someday.  Graci won’t quite understand the depth of feeling and emotional investment that Teri has had for her over the years, but I am sure that Grace will feel Teri’s love. 

Oh, we are blessed.  “As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.  Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.”  Our happiness and our quiver is full!  At least for now…:).

Jer

She is Ours!

We got herJ!  Cali is ours.  She is the sweetest, most perfect little thing.  You will all love her so much;)  Her endearing, high-pitched voice is precious.  Her meek temperament and unassuming manner are delightful.  When asked which option she prefers, she always answers, “I Don’t care.  Just pick one:).  She is breathtakingly beautiful and just perfect in every way.

When she was brought into us at the civil affairs office she was super quiet.  It was almost impossible to coax even one word out of her.  But now, only six hours later, she has become way more comfortable and is saying all kinds of things.  I can’t say enough how great it is to have Graci!  Her ability to speak Chinese and her proximity in age to Cali have made it easier for Cali to begin adapting to us.  Thanks, Grace!!! 

We all went swimming tonight, and it was a grand success.  Cali loved it.  She sat on a built in bench in the hot tub at first.  Then she ventured to the pool and she and I went around with her hands clasped around my neck.  We found a small-scale inner tube play toy and she was able to fit her legs through the middle and keep the tube around her waist.  While wearing it around her waist like this, she paddled all around the pool with her hands.  What a sweetie!

We are very much in love and so excited for all the kids to meet her—Taylor, Parker, Lexi, Elli, Xander, and Sophi—you will love this sweet new sister of yours and she will love you right back!  She is a perfect fit for our family.

What a beautiful day.

Before I forget,  I also wanted to write about yesterday…  Graci’s China family outdid themselves.  The aforementioned tour bus first took us up a harrowing road on one of the most beautiful drives I’ve ever been on.  The views from the bus window were straight down.  It reminded me of our trip on the narrow-gauge railroad between Durango and Silverton Colorado.  Pretty scary!  The views at the top were spectacular.  Following that the bus took us to a zoo/amusement park.  We saw some unique animals, including some amazing eagles and vultures.  The most unique thing we saw was the dogs.  There was a Golden Retriever, some Rottweilers and other common dog species on display in a cage at the zoo.  Interesting.  Perhaps a bit unsettling.

Later that evening they took us to the airport and sad good-byes were said.  It is so very touching to see how loved our Graci is by this wonderful family.  Our flight was a late one and we didn’t arrive at our hotel in Xi’an until almost 1am.  Getting settled in and tucking Jess and Graci into bed took quite some time and I didn’t get to bed until two in the morning.  We are still adjusting to the local time, so I woke up at 7am and couldn’t get back to sleep.  Needless to say, I’m exhausted as I write this at 9:30 pm!  I think I’ve fallen asleep at least three times while writing this post. 

But despite the absolute exhaustion, today has been a fantastic day!!! 

Tomorrow we could use your prayers.  We will be finalizing the adoption and doing all of the associated paperwork.  If all goes according to plan, by 10:00am tomorrow, she will be completely ours and we will be so grateful!!!

Love you, Cali Rose!

Jeremy

Letters to friends...

Dear Graci:

Thank you so much for being you. For going through what you’ve gone through and coming through strong and resilient and magnificent.  Thank you for sharing your amazing and wonderful and beautiful and generous and incredibly loving foster family.  Your “China Family” as we call them.  Someday I look forward to the beautiful reunion in heaven with your adoptive family, your China family and your biological family.  I have never been more aware or had a stronger testimony of the fact that we are all children of our Heavenly Father.  That we are all brothers and sisters.  That we are all loved by Him.  That He finds tremendous joy when we share that love with each other here on earth.  Graci, thank you for guiding us to find your foster family in 2007 when we came to adopt you.  Without that fortuitous taxi ride, we would have missed out on what has truly become a second family to us.  Our China Family.  We love them.  We love you.  Thank you!

Dad

Dear Dad:

We miss you!  It was so great to have you here in China last time.  Of course you were a help with kids and luggage and logistics, but those are just little things.  Mostly, we just miss YOU.  You have been a great mentor, companion and friend.  We have thought of you often over the last two days and will continue to do so as we go through this trip.

Jer

Dear Aus:

Thanks for being such a great family friend!  There was no question in my mind when I called you from half way around the world what your response would be.  “Of course I’ll post any blogs or pictures you email me.  As soon as I get them!  No trouble at all!”  Aus, in one way, you hardly know us.  You spent less than one full week with us in 2007.  And yet I truly feel like you are a brother to me.  Your endless supply of kindness and generosity is unparalleled.  Thank you for the assurance that I will always get at least one comment on my blog postsJ.  Thank you for understanding me, for being someone I can call and unload on when I have become overwhelmed with our journey.  We don’t talk very often, but when we do it is powerful.  Truly we are all brothers and sisters, children of God.

Jeremy

Dear Sara:

It was truly a blessing from Heaven when you were assigned to be our tour guide on our trip to adopt Graci.  Who else would have jumped so quickly at the request to help interpret for us on our second (and third and fourth) trip to Hangzhou?  Who else would have been so loving towards and so loved by Graci’s China family?  You, too, are now a part of this crazy, wonderful, multi-cultural family.  You keep in frequent contact with China family.  You were there at the hospital the day that Ling Long, Graci’s China neice, was born.  You send gentle reminder emails if Graci has gone too long in between phone calls to China Mama.  And you drop everything every time we come to China and spend 48 hours being our friend and interpreter as we experience once again the incredible love and warmth from this incredible family.

Jeremy

Dear Jesi:

Thanks for a being the cutest traveling companion ever.  Your sweet, innocent outlook on life is refreshing and delightful.  You have gotten better with each trip to China at accepting the fact that you are a rock star here.  From the stares to the stroking of your hair to the school girls touching your hand and feigning a swoon, you have learned to enjoy the attention.  China Mama loves you very much.  The whole China family does.  They are so excited every time you come.  Your blonde hair is certainly part of that, but even more it is just you.  You are a very special girl and a person that people love to be around.

 Daddy

Dear China Mama and Baba:

Words cannot express how grateful we are for the relationship you have with our beautiful daughter.  Thank you for the grace you have shown as you have fostered several children over the years.  Thank you for loving all of them and for giving them a beautiful, if temporary, home when they needed it most.  Thank you for loving Graci so very, very much.  She was far more prepared to be a part of a family because of your efforts.  And thank you for your love and acceptance of us.  Your expressions of gratitude for the part we have played in Graci’s life are treasured and appreciated.  Thank you for the food.  The seemingly endless supply of food you shower upon us when we are here.  This is one way that you show your love for us.  And we feel it.  From the moment you embraced Christi as she emerged from the car the first night we arrived in Hangzhou to the inevitable tears you will shed when you say goodbye to your Graci tonight at the airport.  You are some of the best people I have ever known.  We love you.  Thank you for sharing your beautiful extended family with us as well.  From meals at auntie’s house to hugs and kisses from Grandma.  From warm smiles from Grandpa and embraces as looks at us with sightless eyes to the bouncing exuberance of Bei Bei, Graci’s childhood friend.  This great group of people never ceases to amaze me.

 This trip we brought two extra people along to document a part of our adoption journey.  You have embraced and welcomed them as well.  When we talked about getting a taxi for them and their luggage on day two of our Hangzhou trip, you said no, you would take care of it.  And take care of it you did.  Showed up in a full-blown tour bus with a driver!  When I said to Sara: “This is so expensive.  They shouldn’t have!,”  Sara explained that friends are very important in China.  Each friend is like a new path.  And what a path we continue to walk with you.  We love you!

 Your America Family

Dear Dave and Mike:

Thank you for documenting this experience for us!  Thank you for sharing your expertise and time and energy with us and our China Family.  Though you may slow things down just a titch at times ;), we truly appreciate your being here and sharing this with us and hopefully with many others in the future. 

 Jeremy

Dear Kathi:

Thanks for letting Dave come and holding down the fort at home.  I truly believe that at some point this documentary will have an impact on someone somewhere (and hopefully a few someones) and will instill in them a desire and determination to adopt a beautiful child into their own family.

Jer and Christi

Dear Dean and LaRita:

We could not do it without you.  We could not make the trip.  We could not give the kids what they need.  We could not have become the people we have become without the loving home you provided for Christi in her childhood.  You have been more than generous with your time and resources as you have helped us create our unique and blessed family.

A very lucky son-in-law

Dear Mom:

Thank you for the unconditional love and support you show to  all of our children.  Thank you for tea parties and cheesy children’s gifts.  For hours spent on the phone with children you could barely understand but who love you so much.  Thank you for being an example of loving and serving those around you.  Without the principles you taught me, I could not have opened my heart to such a large family and would have missed out on so much.

Love,

Your first born

Dear Taylor, Parker, Lexi, Xander, Elli and Sophi:

Thanks for letting us come to China!  Thanks for being willing to be separated from you parents for two long weeks so that we can bring Cali home.  I am sure the pain is somewhat mitigated by the trips to the swimming pool and the gym, the ice cream at Gilly’s and the general overall spoiling that goes along with two weeks with Grandma!  We love you.  We miss you.  Looking forward to Arby’s on Christmas EveJ.

 Mom and Dad

Dear Christi:

I really can’t express in words what you have done for me.  You took a course, unrefined boorish fellow, knocked some of the rough edges off and have been willing to stick with me in spite of my continued weaknesses.  You have often taken the lead down this road of ours and helped us forge a path to breathtaking vistas.  There is no one who could have been a greater influence for good in my life than you.  There is no one I would rather share my life with than you.  There is no one who could be a better mom to my children than you are.  Through the science projects, doctors appointments, swimming lessons, dance classes and basketball games, you maintain patience and perspective and provide our family with stability and love.  Our children feel safe in our home.  Because of you they have developed self-confidence without pride.  They are well-adjusted and look out for the needs of others.  As your mother told me the first time I met her, you are almost perfect. And you are even closer to perfection now than when I met you.  I love you!

 Your Chubby Hubby

 Dear God:

 First of all, please bless us to survive the drive we are on today.  It is one of the most  beautiful roads I have ever been on, but as we ascend this steep and winding canyon, as we traverse some questionably safe road construction, we truly need your guiding hand to keep us safe.

Second, and most important, thank You!!!  I am sure You can feel how overwhelmed with joy and love I am this day.  My life is not what I would have envisioned 10 years ago.  In fact, if You had laid it out before me at that time, I am sure I would have balked.  But You in your wisdom have given it to me bit by bit, piece by piece.  You have broken me down to build me up.  You have allowed me to go through deep despair and through this I have gained the capacity to experience more fulfilling highs that I would have ever thought possible.  I woke up this morning, half way around the world from my home, and told my sweet Christi that I could not imagine a better life for me.  I am truly happy.  Thank You for that!

Your grateful child