Anyone who said money can't buy happiness never paid an adoption fee.

What would we do without:

-Sophi's hugs?
-Elli's laughter?
-Lexi's singing?
-Conner's music?
-Graci's storytelling?
-Xander's exuberance?
-Cali's smile?

So much happiness!




-Jeremy

How it all started...

Many people have asked how we came to adopt in the first place.  This is the story of  the very beginning of our very first adoption-- our beautiful Elizabeth Mei.  It tells the first of many sweet "signs" and tender mercies that let us know that we were indeed to go forward with her adoption.  Elli has been our hardest child by a mile, and so I'm especially grateful for all of the special experiences that helped us to know it was right to adopt her.  We love our "Little Ladybug!"

And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight.       These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.”  Isaiah 42:16

The pinwheels started spinning as soon as we pulled up alongside the grave.  I jumped out of the van and started unbuckling the kids.  Taylor and Parker ran toward the headstone, pausing for just a moment to blow a kiss before taking off to play their usual game of hide and seek.  I hoisted 2 ½ year old Jessica onto my hip and walked slowly toward the place where my babies laid.

My heart was heavy today, but not with the grief of their death.  I had a decision to make, and it was perhaps the hardest decision I had ever faced.  It involved a little girl who lived across the ocean in a two-room home covered in cracked blue paint.  A home without any sign of toys.  A home with an old metal crib, which she was tied to with little ribbons for most of the day so that she would be “safe.”  A home where she had spent the last year after being found alongside a road at the age of six months and then bounced from orphanage to orphanage.  A home where she was taken care of and even loved, but not the way I knew we could love her.

I had found her photo on a list of “waiting children” from China.  After two stillbirths spaced just over a year apart, we had learned that I had some medical conditions that were not conducive to another pregnancy.  Losing our precious Jacob and Emily had left us devastated.  I loved them fiercely and wanted with all of my heart and soul to have them back.  But as we tried to make sense of their short little lives and the purpose in their deaths we began to feel a tug at our hearts.  As we studied and prayed and fasted, we decided that this tug was coming from China.  We were to adopt, and we were elated!

As we began the adoption process, we made the easy decision to go the “healthy infant” route.  After all, we had three young children, and Jessica had some medical issues that kept us extra busy.  There was no way we could handle any kind of special need, medical or otherwise.  Still, just two days before—and just two weeks into the adoption process—I had found myself perusing the waiting children site and finding “her.”  This sweet little girl who was doing her best to wriggle her way into my heart.  There was just one small issue.  This girl was blind.

Blind.

The word seemed so huge and ominous and something I was completely incapable of dealing with.  Blind!  How in the world could we parent a blind child?  It seemed impossible.   It seemed downright crazy!  So what was it about her that didn’t let me just skim past her face?  I had called Jeremy when I saw her photo—mentioning as casually as I could that there was a sweet little blind girl on the website who I thought was pretty cute.  He barely even replied before moving on to another topic of conversation and I had thought “that was that.”  Until yesterday.  Yesterday, when he had called me, crying, telling me that he had just had an experience that led him to know that we were indeed supposed to adopt that little girl.  He was sure of it.

What?!!!  I had never felt so overwhelmed in all my life.  How could we do such a thing?   We were already barely keeping our heads above water with the three precious children we currently had.  Surely, there was someone out there more capable, more prepared, more worthy of such a task.  How could I be the kind of mother this sweet girl needed?  There was just no way it was meant to be, and yet Jeremy insisted that it was.   And so I had prayed.  I prayed like I had never prayed before.  I prayed for strength and wisdom and clear direction.  I felt peace every time I prayed, but that was not enough.  I wanted more!  I needed to know that this was the right decision for me, for my family, and for this sweet little orphan girl.

So here I was.  Sitting at the graveside of my two tiny angels.  It was a place I often came when I needed clarity.   I closed my eyes and I talked to them.

“Ok, Jake and Emmy, this is the deal.  I need help.  I know I’m not supposed to ask Heavenly Father for a sign—that I’m just supposed to have faith--so I’m asking you instead.  (:  See, there’s this little girl in China who is calling out to us and I don’t know what to do.  I am scared.  No, I am terrified.  You see, she’s blind—and to me that seems like about the scariest thing to deal with in the whole world.  I need help.  I feel peace each time I pray about her, but I want more.  I want to know in a way that I’ll never doubt—even in the darkest and hardest of times!  Please, help me!”

I opened my eyes.  The sun was shining brightly and the pinwheels above their headstone were spinning faster than before.  I looked around at the other pinwheels in the cemetery.  They were still.  I knew they were there to visit me, my two precious angels.  I felt their strength as I stood up to leave.  I loaded the kids up in the van and I turned the key in the ignition.  At that point, five-year-old Parker asked, “Mom—how far have we driven in this van?”  It was a strange question, and I asked him to clarify.  “How many miles have we driven in this van?”  I asked him why he was asking that—we had never talked about mileage--  and he replied, “I don’t know!  I just had this thought in my head that I needed to ask you.”

I looked down at the odometer and read to him, “127,301 miles.”  I looked over once again at Jacob and Emily’s grave as we pulled away.  The pinwheels were spinning again, this time like crazy, while all of the other pinwheels remained still.  And I had the distinct impression come to me that the number I had just read was important.  I tried to talk myself out of it the whole drive home, but the thought would not go away.  I turned the number over and over in my head.  “127, 301.  What could the significance be?  I must be crazy!” 

Then suddenly, a warmth started to spread in my heart as I recalled that 301 was the hymn number of one of my favorite songs, “I am A Child of God.”  I sung the words in my head,

I am a child of God,

And he has sent me here,

Has given me an earthly home

With parents kind and dear.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,

Help me find the way.

Teach me all that I must do

To live with him someday.

The words to the chorus, “lead me, guide me, walk beside me” took on a new significance as I thought of this little blind girl.  My heart swelled with love for her. I felt warmth envelop my body, but I tried to push it away.

“This is silly,”  I thought.  “I’m making things up.  That number didn’t mean anything.  And 301 is only part of the number anyway—so I must be imagining things.”

Again, I felt a voice in my heart, “No, the numbers do mean something.  You need to figure it out.”  And so I told myself that I would go home and look up hymn 127 in our hymnbook.   If it seemed to have any ties whatsoever to adoption or blindness or this girl, I would believe this “prompting” or “sign” I was having.  If not, I would accept that I was certifiably crazy and hearing strange voices in my head!  I started to get excited.  What if the hymn held an answer for me?  What words of wisdom might it hold?  I could hardly wait to see, and the second I walked for the door I made a beeline for the hymnbook.  Hymn 127—“Jesus, Lover of My Soul.” 

What?  I had never even really liked that song and the lyrics had nothing to do with the answer I was seeking.   Ugh.  I shut the book in frustration and put it back on the piano.  This whole number thing was just silly after all.

And then the impression, “Read the second verse.” 

“I am going crazy!”  I thought to myself.  “My son asks me how far we’ve driven and I totally am trying to make something out of this random number and well, I’ve lost it!”

But I opened the book anway.  Verse two.  My heart started burning before I even began to read the words to the second verse.  I knew my answer was going to be there.  As I began to read, I felt as if this precious little girl from half way around the world was singing it to me:

Other refuge have I none,

Hangs my helpless soul on Thee;

Leave, oh! leave me not alone,

Still support and comfort me.

All my trust on Thee is stayed,

All my help from Thee I bring;

Cover my defenseless head

With the shadow of Thy wing.

And I knew.  This little girl, blind and defenseless and without a family was MY little girl.  My very kind and loving and compassionate Father in Heaven was entrusting her to me at that very moment.  I couldn’t leave her alone.  I wouldn’t leave her alone. 

Meeting Elli for the first time

--Christianne

Post Script:  As I was writing this, I looked up the lyrics to "Jesus, Lover of My Soul" just to make sure I had them right.  In our hymnbook, only two verses are listed and that is all I have known.  As it turns out, there are three more verses-- two of which are as follows:

1. Wilt Thou not regard my call?
   Wilt Thou not accept my prayer?
   Lo! I sink, I faint, I fall—
   Lo! on Thee I cast my care.
   Reach me out Thy gracious hand!
   While I of Thy strength receive,
   Hoping against hope I stand,
   Dying, and behold, I live.
2. Thou, O Christ, art all I want,
   More than all in Thee I find;
   Raise the fallen, cheer the faint,
   Heal the sick, and lead the blind.
   Just and holy is Thy Name,
   Source of all true righteousness;
   Thou art evermore the same,
   Thou art full of truth and grace.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   In honor of Elli, today I want to feature another child who is blind and needs a family to call his own.  Meet the cutest little three year old boy in the world:
   
   

   
   
   
   At nine months of age this child was brought to the orphanage and was blessed with a wonderful nanny who is responsible for the amazing little boy that he is today. He does not exhibit any of the typical body rocking/hand flapping traits that are often seen in blind children who are institutionalized. 

   He recently started attending classes, and when I “quietly” walk into his classroom, he always speaks English and says, “Good morning.” 

   Because of his age, he is no longer under the care of his nanny. That means he is lacking the hugs and kisses and physical contact that made him the special boy who he is today. 

   Next month, this little guy will turn four-years old and will have yet another birthday that goes unnoticed and not celebrated.
   
   

   Please watch this short video and see what a blessing he could be to your family. 

   Video link:  https://vimeo.com/106764363

   
   

   
   

Adoption Awareness Month

A few days ago, we received a very sweet email from a blog reader that we've never met.  Part of her email is as follows:

I'm still too young to adopt a special needs child and everything, so it's not time for me yet. In spite of that, I visit pages with waiting children quite often to pray for the ones that steal my heart (which is not
very hard). I fell in love with a little girl almost a month ago and I can't stop thinking about her. Just seeing her profile again and again makes me weep with joy and sorrow at the same time because she's still there, alone. You can find her on the wonderful waiting kids page.  She is from China and named Collins. I can't do anything for her since I don't even know anyone in person who is into adoption or capable of adopting right now. So if you know anyone who might see their daughter in Collins, would you please, please share her video or tell them about her or at least send a prayer her way? It would mean the world to me. It's killing me that I can't do anything for her except praying and hoping she will find a forever family one day.

(Side note:  The lady who wrote me this email apologized for her grammar/English b/c English was her second language   Hello?  You would never know!)

That email was a very humbling reminder to me of the responsibility that lies in having a blog that many people read.   I know I've spoken of this before, but I often struggle with how I feel about talking about adoption.  On one hand, I want to shout it from the rooftops, day after day.  I want to talk of nothing else.  When you find something amazing, you just have to share it. The blessings of adoption have been burned into my soul in ways that I know some of you out there understand.  The plight of the orphans is something that is so very real to me.  It's something that I've seen and experienced in ways that can't let me be silent.  It's as if there is a little "adoption angel" sitting on my shoulder whispering to "share, share, share!"

On the flip side, I don't want to ever come across as judgmental or overbearing.  I know that adoption isn't for every family.  I KNOW that.  I wouldn't ever judge a family for not adopting.  And I know that  hearing about adoption makes some people feel guilty or overwhelmed-- or knowing it's not for them, they just tune out.  I know because I've had people tell me this.  I know because when I post about adoption on Facebook, the post gets about 90% fewer likes than other posts.  I know constantly talking about adoption is even offensive to some people.  And so sits another little person (devil?) on my other shoulder  whispering, "don't hurt people's feelings, don't share too much, people already know that you obviously love adoption, be quiet…"  

And so goes my battle!

But last night, as I was watching videos about Orphan Sunday and contemplating the email sent to me about Collins, there was a little victory for the adoption angel.  Because I realized that there are many people out there who have the same passion for the orphans that we do, but do not have the same platform that we have.  Therefore, it's our responsibility to share.  Even if we feel like a broken record.  And I was reminded of sweet Emily, who I advocated for on this blog and on Facebook.  As it turns out, a friend of mine from Tennessee, one who I never would have thought to share Emily's profile with, saw her photo/video and her heart was pricked.  In a few months, she and her beautiful family will be bringing Emily to their home.  

Advocating works.  

We've seen it over and over.  So if you are one of those readers who adoption is out of the question for and are therefore going to be bored silly by this blog over the next month, I apologize.  Last night, Jeremy and I both separately came up with the idea to spend ALL of November (National Adoption Month) spilling our hearts out about adoption.  Sharing our testimony that our Father in Heaven loves orphans with a pure and undying and uniquely special love.  We know He desires for ALL children to have families, and we hope that with His help and through this blog, a few more orphans can find a place to call home.

And so I'll start today with a picture of "Collins."  I hope you will join our sweet reader in prayers for this precious child of God.  I hope even more to be able to email that reader with news that someone out there has fallen in love with this girl and is going to give her a family.  

Is that someone *you*?  

(:

Precious Collins – female – 5 years old – Lifeline New Hope Journey – ilium and sacrum bone deformation, sacral veterbral deformity – she is also found to have some scars from possibly scalding water.  Sweet Collins is said to be gentle and quiet, and can play with toys quietly. Her file states that she can understand adult’s and can follow directions.  Although she is said to speak less, she is said to speak clearly in a soft voice. Collins is stated to have made some friends, and is able to communicate with them, as well as get along well with them and share toys. She is said to like music, and can dance along with the rhythm.  Precious Collins is stated to be timid, but can express her thoughts and needs to be  encouraged to try new things. This sweet child is described as “not easy to smile” but will smile when being teased, shy around strangers but warms up after “communication” with them.

If you have questions about Collins or any other orphan waiting for a family and you want to ask privately, my email is christi405@yahoo.com and Jeremy's is jeremymgreen@hotmail.com.  Also, if you have questions about adoption-- general or specific-- that you would like addressed in our blog this month, please let us know!  Lastly, if you are an adoption advocate and have a special child you would like to see featured on here, send us the info!

Christianne

Orphan Sunday

Today, November 2, is Orphan Sunday.  November is National Adoption Month.  I know there are lots of "National such-and-such" months.  Many of these monthly causes and interests have much merit.  It is hard to imagine a cause with greater merit than adoption.  I hope we can all examine our lives and see if maybe we could open our hearts and homes to one (or one more) of these precious children of God.  As we look to our Father in Heaven for answers, we will be surprised and often amazed at what He has in store for us if we are willing to heed His call.

Hope is Fading – Orphan Sunday from Allan Rosenow on Vimeo.

-Jeremy

Girl's Trip Post Script

…and thank you, my wonderful, amazing Jeremy, for holding down the fort with all of the other kids while I was gone!  I love you, too!

(I know she meant to put that in there somewhere ;)

-Jer

Girls Trip #1

When we traveled to China for Conner's adoption back in May, we were able to meet the man who had taught Conner piano lessons for the past year.  He was very excited to invite us to a concert he was performing in near Philadelphia and explained in his broken English how honored he would be to have us come.  We told him we would do our best, but due to expenses we would likely not be able to make it.  Over time, Jeremy and I discussed it at length and decided that it was an opportunity for Conner that we just couldn't pass up.  We were able to get free lodging and had enough sky miles to get free airfare so it worked out great!   We made the decision for me to take him and to have Graci come as well so that Conner would have someone to talk to (his English was VERY limited at the time.)

Truthfully, I wasn't too excited about the whole trip until I had the magical thought to invite my SISTERS.  My little sis, Leslie, and my sis-in-law, Megan were both able to make the trip and it turned a "this is going to be a long, hard weekend" (remember, Conner could barely communicate at the time and wasn't really into doing anything that involved walking more than 10 feet) into a total girls trip with Graci and Conner tagging along.  (:  As we started planning things, we realized that Philadelphia was just a short bus ride from New York City, and Leslie had never been there.  So we kind of turned the whole thing into a NYC trip with a little side trip to Philadelphia.  We spent five days together and it was AWESOME!  I had the time of my life with two of my favorite ladies in the whole world!  Conner and Graci were fun "tag-alongs" (I know, I know-- the trip was supposed to be about Conner, but let's face it-- a Mom needs some girlfriend time whenever she can get it).  We were able to experience so many things and places including Valley Forge-- a place I've always wanted to go.  But out of all of the things we did, my favorite memory is just the hours spent talking and laughing with my sisters!!!

Conner's birthday happened to fall on one of the days we were there.  We tried to think of how we could make it meaningful for him and realized that we were close to the Juliard School, which is the most prestigious music/arts school in the world.  I called and asked about getting a tour and they said that there were no public tours that day.  After explaining how Conner was blind and had just been adopted and loved the piano so much and the fact that it was his birthday 

(all while Leslie and Megan were praying in the background) they consented to let us come over.  (: Conner was able to play the piano during the tour and it was something that I hope he will always appreciate.  Combine that with plenty of KFC and Chinese food and I think it's safe to say he had a happy birthday!  

Because it's late and I'm needing to get to bed, I will let the pictures tell the rest of the story.  (Don't worry-- we did have lots of fun with Graci-- she just wasn't into letting us take many pics of her.)

Thank you, Les and Megan for making this trip one of my funnest memories ever!  I love you!

This morning's quotes from Sophi

I've been gone this weekend  (more on that later) and got home very late last night.  This morning, Sophi was full of information about her week.  Here are a few of my favorites (I started jotting them down because she was just enamoring me!) :

"Mom…ok…so, Sunday was SO bad!  Daddy had to do girl hair and he is just SOOOOO bad at it!  Ugh!  But don't tell him, ok?"

………….


"I got to play with Eli.  It was AWESOME (every time she uses that word it is said very dramatically.)  We got two marshmallows.  Big marshmallows.  Which was AWESOME.  And he had a square trampoline instead of round like ours which was AWESOME.  And he had a dog that was a girl but I kept forgetting and calling her "him" and we played fetch and it was AWESOME!  And he has a iPad with netflilx.  Which is AWESOME!"  (This was all said with such fun exuberance!)

……………


Sophi: "Mom, I want to play with Claire.  Cuz it's been FOR.EV.ER since I've played with her.  Like more than a year."
Me:  "Sophi, you just played with Claire on Friday."
 Sophi:  (thoughtful pause) "Oh… yeah!"

…………….

Me:  "So was it fun to have Dad be your babysitter?"
Sophi:  "Yes!  Funner than when it's you.  (realizes what she just said and looks up in desperation) "I mean, not funner.  The same fun.  Cuz you're so fun too, so don't be sad about what I said."

…………….


Sophi:  "Soooo…. tell me about the trip.  How was the beach?"
Me:  "It was so much fun!  Except I put my sunglasses on my head and forgot about them and a big wave came and crashed on me and knocked my sunglasses off just like it happened to Jessica."
Sophi:  "Mom!  Don't worry!  Cuz when it's your birthday I will say to Dad (insert very demanding, harsh voice) 'Dad!  Take me to the store RIGHT NOW so I can buy sunglasses for Mom with my own money!!!"

……………..

Me:  "Jer, are we out of pull ups for Elli?"
Jer:  "Oh, yeah.  I forgot about that.  I'm so sorry."
Sophi:  "Ugh.  Dad, you are FIRED!"

Love that girl!

--Chrtistianne (:

Meet The Mormons

Christi and I went on a date a couple of weeks ago to see the new movie, Meet the Mormons.  (In case it isn't obvious enough from our blog, our family belongs to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, otherwise known as the Mormon church.)  We LOVED the movie.  It isn't a proselytizing effort.  It's just an opportunity to see the variety of different types of people who belong to the Mormon church and to hear some of their very inspiring and uplifting stories.  Christi and I were both so glad we went. If you haven't seen it, take a look at the trailer:

-Jeremy

Bunny Rabbits

A couple of months ago we attended a community preparedness fair.  There were displays on things like making meals from food storage and utilizing solar ovens if electricity is out for an extended period of time.  It was also a pot luck dinner, and it was amazing how delicious a food storage dish could be:). One booth had some cute bunny rabbits in a pen that the kids could pet.  Sophi and Jessica fell in love!

The booth made the curious decision to have a large computer screen right next to the cute little bunnies which had a looping slide show with step-by-step images of how to prepare them for a meal.  Fortunately I realized what was showing soon enough to divert Sophi's attention, but it was quite traumatizing for our sweet Jess.  Ah, life!  They sure enjoyed the live bunnies, however!

-Jer

Jesi's Funcoaster

Happy Birthday, Soph!

Sophi's annual request for her birthday is Dad's Apple Betty.  This is a recipe that my Grandma Green and then my mom would make.  It is a wonderfully sweet Apple Crisp.  It's full of apples and brown sugar and oatmeal and cinnamon.  What's not to love?

As usual, she wanted an Apple Betty birthday cake this year.  As usual, Dad acquiesced.  As usual, she wanted pictures taken in lots of different poses:

-Jeremy

Xander Commander!

A month or so ago I took most of the kids to see Maleficent.  (Loved it, btw!)  Xander saw a movie poster and had to pose:

In keeping with his tough guy persona, our X-man shook off a double barreled soccer injury like it was nothing:

He took a ball right to the nose!

In more upbeat soccer news, X-man scored his first soccer goal a few weeks ago.  We were so proud of him.  When the average score for them team this season was between 0 and 1, a single goal is a huge deal.  Way to go Xander Commander:)

-Dad

Pinewood Derby!

Xander and I had the opportunity to build a pinewood derby car for his race in September.  We worked hard and got a lot of help from Taylor and Parker, who found some joy in reliving the experiences they had had as younger boys.  We started with a block of wood and created a pretty darn good looking car:).  He won "Best of Show" for how it looked.  It raced well enough to place second in several heats, but he didn't place overall.  We sure had a fun time working together!!!

Jeremy

A Beautiful Mind

Jessica is wonderful!  She has a unique perspective on most things in the world.  She is bright and talented and brings so much joy into our lives.  As I was doing some math homework with her, I was very impressed.  It's been awhile since I've helped her with math, and I can see why.  She is very good at it!  Her mind clicks quickly and grasps concepts well.  For this assignment, she was working on simple fractions with variables.  It was new to her and she needed some guidance.

We went through most of the problems.  She continued to do very well.  Then we got to a problem that showed how creative and yet unique are the processes that go on in her head.

Problem:  Windy Bay is 48 miles away.  Make up your own fraction word problem with multiplication.  Be sure to include a non-unit fraction.  (Jess had to educate me on the definition of a non-unit fraction.  Once again, I was impressed.)

I helped her create a problem:  When you are 6/8 of the way there, how many _____ (I was going to finish this with "miles have you come?"  But I wanted her to determine the units for herself.  So I verbalized it:  "When you are 6/8 of the way there, how many…."  Blank stare.  I repeated:  "When you are 6/8 of the way there, how many…."  Again, I waited for her to come up with the correct unit.  Again a blank stare.  Me again:  "When you are 6/8 of the way there, how many…."  Pause. Pause.  "Cats?"

Me:  "Huh?"

Jessica:  "Cupcakes?"

Me:  "What?"

Jessica:  "Eyeballs?"

Me:  "Huh?"

Jessica:  "What?!?  I was thinking of Halloween!"

One of many notes that make my life a rich symphony on a daily basis.

-Jer

Conversations

A dear friend of mine texted yesterday wanting to make sure we were still alive, given that there had been no new blog posts for a couple of weeks.  Thanks for the encouragement, Mike!

Conversations with kids:
Sophi:  "I'm going to be a ninja for Halloween.  I LOVE ninjas!  [pause]  What's a ninja?"
Me:  "You love ninjas, but you don't know what they are?"
Sophi, after a moment of reflection:  "I know they have light sabers!"

I walked into Parker's closet a couple of days ago and noticed something on the wall about 6 inches above the floor.  I looked more closely and it was a pin he had received for making the honor roll at school.  A pin.  Stuck into the drywall.  Six inches above the floor.
Me:  "Whose pin is this?"
Parker:  "Mine."
Me:  "What made you think it was a good idea to stick it into the wall?"
Parker:  "I KNOW it was a good idea. I made the honor roll!"

Quick thinking, bud.

-Dad

Mr. Cool

Have YOU ever eaten a sucker with an actual scorpion inside of it?  If not, then you are officially not as cool as Xander.  (I fall decidedly into the "not-as-cool-as-Xander" camp!)

-Jer

Simple Faith

Christi and I are talking in my office and Sophi, as usual, is Christi's sidekick.  Soph follows Christi pretty much everywhere.  Out of the blue Sophi asks, "How does Jesus build us?"  This opens up a sweet, if very general, conversation about our bodies and where they come from.  I love the faith in that simple question.  Sophi knows that God created the world and that He has a love for and interest in each of us.  She know that He is aware of her body and that He oversaw the creation of it.  She accepts the challenges that come along with her particular special needs and loves the Lord for the things He has given her, rather than be frustrated at the apparent obstacles that may not have been removed from her path.

I love that girl.  She brings so much joy to our home.

-Jeremy