Advice to Readers

When you leave your house to pick your child up from kindergarten, you might want to think twice about the whole “I’m just staying in the van… nobody will see me” mentality. That way, you may avoid pairing your dirty grubbies and fuzzy green frog socks with a pair of black Sunday shoes (hey, they were the nearest thing to the door). It may just so happen that your husband has switched you vehicles so he can get some tires changed. And it may just so happen that your husband likes to see how long his vehicle can go on an empty tank of gas. And so, when you get half-way to the school, you may just find yourself stranded on the side of the road in said grubbies and Sunday shoes, without make-up, coat, or phone. And you may feel very silly walking down the side of the road in said attire while car after car passes you by. And when you finally flag a handsome policeman down and ask to borrow his phone, your face just may be bright red as you call and ask your neighbor to please come and rescue you.

And while I’m giving free advice, you may just want to know that it is semi-important to turn your crock pot off before going to bed. That way, you won’t wake up in the morning to a strange, strong, burning smell that has permeated the whole house. And the spatula you happened to leave in the crock pot won’t look like this:


Happy Monday!

Graci's Website

A few of you have asked what happened to Graci's website. It is now viewable again, either by the link below our family pictures to the left, or by going to www.mychinajourney2.com/goingbackforgraci.com

As I was looking through her site this morning, I re-read a post I wrote 2 1/2 years ago, just before our trip to go get her. I'm going to paste it here:

Dear Graci:

Hello. You're 12,000 miles away, probably can't read English, and who knows if you have access to the internet. But hopefully someday you'll be able to read this. Hopefully someday you'll want to read this. It's crazy. I've never met you in person, and yet I feel like I've already bonded to you. You are my daughter, and I am your father. I hope you have been able to feel this to some extent as well. I love you Graci. I miss you. I am SO excited to hold you in my arms and tell you that. I will say it in English and Chinese. I am trying to learn Chinese, Graci. I'm sure you'll be disappointed in my miniscule little abilities, but I have tried. I'll keep working on it until I meet you and long, long after. I hope I can help you just a little bit to stay fluent in Chinese throughout your life.

Graci, I had an interesting conversation on Friday with two of the doctors that I call on. We were taking about going to get you and the challenges you have in store for you with your heart condition. Their comments had to do with the very large amount of money our insurance company will be paying to help extend and improve the quality of your life. They questioned whether it would be better to spend so much money on one child to vastly improve her life, or to spread the money out over several thousand children and help improve each of their lives a little bit. What a question. Truly, there is much good that can be done for the many. And ultimately, everyone must come to their own decision on such questions. Let me tell you why it is right for us to devote many resources to the one, to YOU.

First, and most important, Graci, you are a child of God. He knows you. He loves you. He wants you to become part of our family. He has prepared us for you, and you for us. I know this because He has told me. Not in words, but through the spirit. I have looked into your eyes countless times in the photographs we have of you, and you are ours. This is the right thing for you and for us. So Graci, regardless of whatever logical processes and comparisons of costs and benefits of different options that can be made, this is the right decision. God has said so.

Secondly, Graci, and I believe this is something my physician friends did not take into account, is the incredible impact one human being can have. Surely it is a great thing to build an orphanage in a poverty-stricken area. Surely it is a great thing to feed many children, to give them clothing and shelter and medicine. I have some good friends in Tennessee who have spent a tremendous amount of their time and money doing just that, and I can't tell you how much I admire them for it. But it is no less important to take one child and give her all the love a family can give. It is no less important to take one child, and give her access to the best medical care in the world, so her life can be preserved for more years than would otherwise be possible. For while taking care of the many will bring joy, happiness, and love to the many, so taking care of the one, especially when that one is YOU, will also bring joy, happiness, and love to the many. For Graci, you have a special something within you. You are going to touch the lives of many in ways that nobody else could. There is no doubt you will bless Jeremy, Christianne, Taylor, Parker, Jessica and Elizabeth. But Graci, I know that your sweet spirit will be the means of blessing countless lives in countless ways in the future.

Already, before you are even here, I can't tell you how many people have been touched in their hearts when they hear your sweet story. People have stopped to think about things a little bit differently. People want to know what happens to you and how your life will unfold. And so, Graci, you will have the opportunity not only to bless the lives of your new immediate family, but also the lives of countless hundreds, even thousands around the United States and beyond.

Graci, I love you. I have waited my whole life to meet you. Ten years ago, I had no idea I would have two daughters from China. But then, I didn't know I would have my precious princess Jessica, nor my two amazing sons, who will soon become your two best friends.

Thank you for waiting for us. Thank you for being who you are. I will see you in about 11 days!

Love,

Dad

My Day in Dears

Dear March 25, 2010,

You started off with a bang, when at approximately 12:01 a.m., Xander awoke sobbing in pain from apparent effects of his surgery. It wouldn’t have been so bad if Jer and I hadn’t gone to bed at approximately 12:00 a.m. Your early hours were spent comforting a crying boy, taking temperatures (of 102 degrees) and trying to sleep with my son shivering next to me. I thought surely the day would get better as we moved on. I was wrong.

Love,
A very tired mother


Dear honored birthday party guests,

I am so sorry to have canceled the party just an hour before it began. It seems the birthday boy’s health was not wanting to cooperate. I promise that pirate patches and buried treasure and yummy grub and games galore await you at a further date. I assure you that Xander did NOT want to cancel the party he has been talking about for months. He was, in fact, quite heartbroken.

Love,
The pirate party planner


Dear Herriman Family Medicine,

We LOVE LOVE LOVE you. You have seen us through ear aches and broken toes and immunizations and bronchitis and sore knees and and and… So I will not hold it against you that when I called to set up an appointment there, you insisted that I see Xander’s surgeon instead. How were you to know that I would have to rush like a mad woman to get Elli ready and on the bus, myself looking un-zombie like, and Xander dressed and fed in approximately 2.1 seconds in order to get seen by the urologist at Primary Children’s?? And how were you to know that he would take one look at X-man and tell me that I really should have his regular pediatrician look at him, because as a urologist, he “wasn’t very good with rashes.” (Which Xander had just broken out in). Thank you for squeezing me in after having made the long round trip to the hospital. Please tell my regular doctor that he is not to take a day off ever again, as I feel lost without his expertise. Please tell the doctor that filled in for him that I didn’t mean to question his diagnosis—it’s just that I can’t imagine what Xander might have had an allergic reaction to and why it would cause a fever. I will trust you and give him his steroids. Really, I will.

Love,
Dr. Mom


Dear Julianne,

I really can’t believe that I took off for the hospital and forgot all about picking Jessica up from school! I was in a panic. THANK-YOU for saving me. THANK-YOU for feeding her. THANK-YOU for telling me it was all a fun adventure for your kiddos, even if it wasn’t. I am glad to have you for a friend.

Love,
Ms. Scatterbrain


Dear Primary Children’s Medical Center,

I am beginning to know every square foot of you. I don’t think that’s a good thing. I will try to stay away.

Love,
Mom of many special kids


Dear Walgreen’s pharmacist.

Thanks for filling Xander’s prescription so quickly. His head to toe rash was really freaking him out. I thought I was so clever when I pulled forward and gave him his medicine right on the spot—you know, to give him a good head start on healing. I didn’t dream that he would proceed to throw up the second I gave it to him. Nor did I think he would throw up again five seconds later. I did get smart and hand him a paper bag after that, and it did catch the third round of puke. I felt almost proud of myself, until I went to take the bag and a hole broke through, gushing it all over my hands. And when I looked up and saw puke coming again—except this time mixed with blood and coming out his nose, I found myself becoming nauseous and held the broken bag in front of MYSELF. When I pulled back into the drive-through to refill the medicine that had been vomited, you were so kind to also supply me with an entire roll of paper towels. It was MUCH appreciated.

Love,
A girl who hates throw-up


Dear kiddos,

I am sorry that I was late picking you up from school. I’m sorry that the van reeked of throw-up. I am sorry you were embarrassed to drive your friend home. Hang in there.

Love,
Mom


Dear March,

Would you kindly decide if you are winter or spring. I don’t care either way—I ‘d just like to know so I don’t continue to send my kids to school in shorts when it snows, or in coats when it’s sunny.

Love,
“Just trying to be a good mother”




Dear House,

How did you get so messy???!!!! I meant to wake up early and get you all cleaned up for the party, but I just couldn’t pull myself out of bed after my sleepless night. I would really like to see carpet again sometime soon. Or maybe just one clean room… A counter, perhaps?? I know---maybe you could get a “self-cleaning” option, like the oven! That would be fabulous.

Love,
Cinderella


Dear piles of paperwork,

Where are you hiding Jeremy’s birth certificate?

Love,
Someone desperate to bring her daughter home from China


Dear Jesi,

You make me laugh.

Love,
Mommy



Dear Herriman Baseball Little League,

You consume about 98% of my husband’s thoughts. Not that I’m jealous or anything…

Love,
A coach’s wife


Dear 2006 GMC 9-passenger conversion van in CA,

I want you. I don’t care that you’re not my favorite color, because you make up for it with your 26-inch tv that will surely help my sanity on those long drives with 7 kiddos. I love your luxurious leather seats. I love that you have 6 captain’s chairs. I love that your bench seat folds into a bed. I even love your price tag compared to others like you. You are stylin’! I wish I could afford you.

Love,
Someone who has spent HOURS looking for a vehicle to fit her family


Dear used, plain-old 12 passenger extended vans,

You are ugly. However, I am determined to look past that, as it’s looking like you are the best choice for our growing family. May my children have the confidence to be seen driving with me when they reach middle school.

Love,
Someone who just wanted to be cool


Dear March Madness,

My son is in love with you. I kind of like you myself.

Love,
A basketball fan


Dear Elli,

I love love love you. I love the way you sing all day. I love the way you ask for chocolate every 5 seconds. I love that you are giving “big hugs.” I love that you love squeezing my arms. I love the way you play the piano. I love how long your hair is getting. I do not love how you poke at your eyes all day. I do not love your tantrums. Maybe you could work on that???

Love,
Mommy




Dear Frozen Pizza,

You saved the day again!

Love,
A fan


And…

Dear March 25, 2010,

Yes, I’m writing you again. I just wanted to say, I’ll take you! You provided me another day with the family I adore. I've been sitting here smiling as I remembered you. I’ll miss you.

Love,
Christianne

It's been a long week...

Well, I have made it through! I was beginning to wonder when after the fourth day post-surgery, I still felt like my face had been run over by a truck. It was not fun, to say the least. But now I am in a happy place where my nose is only tender to the touch vs. being in constant pain. I am anxiously awaiting the benefits of the surgery—I am still swollen and congested on the inside, so my breathing isn’t a whole lot better. However, I can now gently blow my nose, which feels wonderful, and I have even noticed my ear congestion clearing up because of it. (:

I’m sure you wanted to know all of that…

We had many doctor appointments this past week. We had FOUR on Thursday. One of them was an ECHO for Jesi—ordered by her geneticist. She was so cute during the whole thing and loved that they sent her home with a pink, polka-dotted, homemade blanket. So all of you out there that donate things to the hospital—they REALLY are appreciated!!! It made the whole thing so much easier on her!! We are still awaiting the results.

Graci had her stress test and did alright. I had a sobering talk with the cardiologist afterward. That’s all I’m going to say about that. Afterwards, she had her appointment with a neurosurgeon. A couple of months ago we had her go to an orthopedist because of her pigeon-toedness. They did an MRI on her back, which revealed cervical stenosis. This is why we were sent to the neurosurgeon. Well, as it turns out, the cervical stenosis is the least of our worries. She has scoliosis of the spine that is quite pronounced. Also, her spinal cord is being tethered down by some strange substance. It has been stretched down like taffy and ends much lower than it should. The neurosurgeon said it was really quite bizarre and found himself fascinated with it. This is the probable cause of her feet turning in, her toes curling inward, her awkward gait, etc. It can also cause other problems, and the neurosurgeon (the best in the state) wanted to do surgery to repair it. However, after further discussion about the seriousness of her heart issues, he and I decided to hold off, at least for the time being. If it begins causing her a lot of pain or loss of sensation, we will re-evaluate.

We are so thankful for the continued support and love we are getting from church friends, neighbors, and family. Thanks so very much for the help with kids and meals and mostly for your prayers. We love you!

Tonight we were doing our nightly scripture study. Sometimes we act out a scripture story, being as how we have an entire drama troupe here. (: After totally mutilating the story of Queen Esther (our king was doing disco, his servants were giggling nonstop, Mordecai was half asleep on the bed, etc) Jer bore his testimony about how we need to have faith in the Lord when He asks us to do hard things. I looked over at our Queen Esther, in her pajamas and wearing her oxygen, and was amazed at her beauty and grace in the midst of her trials. She certainly has enough faith to be healed, but I tend to think that the Lord is testing our family to see how we deal with her health issues—if we turn to Him, trust Him, and believe that He has a plan for her.

We know He does.

--Christianne

PS. This is Jeremy. When I tucked Graci in to bed tonight, she spontaneously kissed me on the cheek. You don't have any idea what a huge deal that is. Our relationship continues to grow:)

Surgery Over

Christi is out of surgery and it went well. She is on some meds and is very sleepy. I would guess we'll be in the hospital another 1-2 hours. Thanks for your prayers:)

Jeremy

One down, one to go...

Xander had his surgery on Monday. He was sooo brave, and everything went well, but now he is in a lot of pain. So hard to watch your child hurt!!!

I have my surgery tomorrow. I am scared! I have gone through several surgeries with my kiddos, but never one for myself. They will be straightening my septum (I've been told by three different ENTs that it is among the worse they've seen), shrinking my turbonates, and cleaning out my sinuses. Sounds like fun, eh?

Keep me in your prayers. Actually, forget that. Keep JEREMY in your prayers, as he will be taking over the household and becoming my nurse and Xander's nurse all while trying to earn a living.

Yikes!!

--Christianne

Are we...?

A couple of nights ago at the dinner table, out of the blue Taylor says:

"All right everyone...we're going to have a vote. Are we more like the average family...or a zoo?

It was a split decision:)

Jeremy

FYI...

Doctor appointments scheduled for March:

Dentist: Christianne
Optometrist: Jer, Christi, Taylor, Parker, Graci, Jessica, Xander
Kindergarten physical: Xander
H1N1 booster: Parker, Jessica, Xander, Elli
Neurologist: Graci
Geneticist: Jesi
ENT Pre-surgery appointment: Christi
ENT surgery: Christi
ENT post-op: Christi
Cardiac exercise stress test: Graci
Physicals: Parker, Taylor, Graci, Jessica, Elli
Urology surgery: Xander

That’s a total of 21 doctor appointments, not counting the H1N1 shots (we’ll just walk in and do those all together). Seven of these will take place in the hospital. There is also a 99.9% chance that we’ll find ourselves in the office for something that will come up between now and the end of the month.

Health insurance, WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and if you haven’t read the previous two posts by Jeremy, do so. I laughed out loud.

Christianne

PS: An update on Graci: We finally heard from Graci's cardiologist. She will be starting oxygen tomorrow. She will likely continue nighttime oxygen for the rest of her life. He also said it wouldn't be a bad idea to get her to use it during the day when we can. The surgery confirmed pulmonary hypertension and showed that oxygen somewhat lowered the pressure on her heart. It also showed that there was no "easy fix" as far as surgery goes. She'll be returning for a exercise/stress test to see if we need to be more aggressive than oxygen for now. At this point, we're still unsure about what her prognosis is as far as life expectancy, etc. Basically, we didn't hear anything we weren't already aware of. Thank-you for your continued prayers for her!!!!!!

Oh, That's Why!

This is a conversation I just had with Parker. I will spare you the details, but you'll get the basic idea...
Me: Why isn't there a sheet on your bed?
Parker: You guys haven't put a new one on since Elli pooped on it.
Me: I thought she pooped on the bottom bunk!
Parker: Oh yeah. She puked on this one.

I'm telling you, we need a reality show:)

Bedtime Rituals

Almost every night, I read to Jesi and Xander and then tuck them in. After that I read to Taylor, Parker and Graci from a chapter book. (We're 3 chapters into Anne of Green Gables right now, and they are LOVING it.) So tonight, I'm on my own. Christi is at the church with the young women. Since I'm on my own, it took longer than usual to get the younger kids down. And of course, they kept popping right back up for quite awhile. But finally, I was able to settle in to reading to the older ones. Five minutes into it, we hear a door open. Then Jesi yells down the hall, "I JUST HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!" "Ok Jess. No problem." I continue to read. From the bathroom, we hear Jesi singing quite loudly. Nothing you would recognize, just one of her many "compositions." She takes quite some time, but I finally hear the toilet flush and the sink going, followed by the opening of the door. I continue to read. No sounds. More reading. Suddenly, (and she must have been waiting at the edge of the hallway for some time) she practically jumps out and announces, in her never-subtle style, "DAD...[CENSORED]...!!!" The other kids start to chuckle and then burst into full guffaws when they look at the pained, twisted scrunching my face is going through as I contemplate where this might be going. Can't we just wait to deal with this until mom comes home??? "So what should I do?" I ask. As quick as a wink she responds..."Make it better! What do you think?" So I stand up to rummage through our medicine stuff to see if we have any Desitin, but the ever vigilant creatures that are our children saw an opportunity to pounce. "Dad, can I make myself more scrambled eggs?" (Taylor) "Dad, I want a fried egg!" (Parker) "Hey, I want some mashed potatoes and steak that are in the refrigerator cuz they are going to go bad tomorrow anyway!" (Graci) "Can I have some scrambled eggs, too?" (Jesi)

We were supposed to be winding down. I was within minutes of tucking in the older kids and having a few precious minutes to myself. Now we were locked into a cooking marathon that was sure to take at least 30 minutes by the time everything wound down. It's not like we starve these kids. Christi had made a great spaghetti dinner which we had finished a mere 2 hours earlier. But my kids seem to be like little tornados, inhaling anything edible that comes within 20 feet of them. So, here we are, the kids are cooking. I have semi-escaped to record this post. Of course every 90 seconds another child comes in to hover over me and ask what I'm doing, can they read it, do we have any more salt, should I use the big skillet if I'm cooking five eggs, where are my glasses, etc.

If anyone knows the producers of Jon and Kate, I guarantee we could provide a MUCH more entertaining show!!!:)

Jer

Graci Kate

Graci is home. She has a really bad cough that seems to be getting worse. She also claims she can't breathe as well today. Not sure if it's from the cough or the surgery. Other than that, she is doing alright and we are glad to have her home. She was not happy after waking up from the four-hour surgery. It's so difficult when you are still under the effects of anesthesia, your mouth is dry, and you are very uncomfortable. She was pretty miserable at first, but cheered up significantly when she saw that her teachers had delivered her a beautiful bouquet of pink flowers-- thank-you, wonderful teachers!! She felt so special and wanted to carry them by herself last night as she was wheeled out to the car. (: My day in the hospital was actually very nice. It was good to have so much one-on-one with my Grace. Jeremy was only there for a short time, as he had to work and get Xander to his appointment with a vascular surgeon at the University of Utah hospital. Busy day, yes!

Just to clarify-- we do not know much about the results of her surgery. Her cardiologists are both out of town, and we are waiting for them to review the findings and give us their opinions on what she is facing and what to do next. So we will keep you updated...

-Christianne

PS-- Have I mentioned lately that Xander is about the cutest thing in the whole wide world?!!! Man, we love that little guy!

Move over, Nate!

Jesi just came in with a picture she had drawn of her and her friend Elliott. She said, “This is what I imagine my life to be with Elliott. Cause he is always in my head. Oh, see (closing her eyes) he’s coming into my head right now!” She then starts to sing, “Oh, Elliott, you are my friend. And I love you really much. Really much. Really much. Cause I will always have you in my heart. Oh, Elliott. Cause we both love each other really much. Really much. Oh, Elliott.”

--Christianne

Can I Whine?

Just a little bit? You guys are my friends, right? And if I annoy you, you can just x-out of the window you're reading this in. First of all, I know we are so blessed. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. I mean that in all sincerity. I have the perfect wife for me. I have the perfect kids for me. I have the perfect family for me. I have been blessed with an unbelievable job. Our importing business is growing at a crazy rate. I have an understanding and testimony of the the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My life is amazing.

So now for my whine.:) This was supposed to be our valentine's weekend. I arranged over a month in advance for my in-laws to come up and stay with the kids overnight. I made reservations at a restaurant and Bed and Breakfast. I did all of this without Christi knowing, and then told her a few days before Valentine's Day. We were both so excited for a night away:) Of course there was never any question that Graci's surgery would take precedence over anything else, but it was out of the blue, and we only found out the middle of last week that today would be the day. We have wonderful insurance and tremendous healthcare providers and I can't stress enough how grateful I am to be Graci's dad, but I must admit that I'm missing our would-be getaway.

On the other hand, the only reason I even have time to sit here and quietly type away at the computer is because of a wonderful friend who was thoughtful enough to invite our five other kids to dinner. And insist that I leave them there without me. That I needed an hour to myself at home. The quiet is nice. It is not a frequent thing around here:) Thanks so much, Amara! (And thanks so much to you, too, Linda! It truly is the thought that counts.)

Christi and I went to Hawaii in 2003. It was amazing. Since then, we've had a lot of trips with the kids (and a lot of trips to go GET the kids:). I like to tell her: "Honey, I'm sure we'll have an extended getaway, just the two of us, again. I believe I may be free in the fall of 2027:)

I love my family so much! This morning at 5:55am, Jesi came in and took her usual place between Christi and me in the bed. She actually prefers me:) She cuddled up close and I moved away for a little more room. She cuddled up close again and I moved away...until I was literally on the edge of the bed and knew I wouldn't get any sleep. So I got up and went to play basketball with the group of slightly insane guys who are at the church at 6am, 3 days a week. It was fun.

When I got back home, Jesi was still laying in our bed, mostly asleep. I gazed at her in awe for a moment, and then her eyelids fluttered. Through the tiny slits, she could see that I was looking at her, and she got that perfect, sweet, loving grin on her face that those of you who know her know quite well. I laid down next to her--and she absolutely THREW her arms around me and gave me an unbelievably wonderful hug. I would (and do) give up a lifetime of Hawaiian getaways for moments like these. By the way, did I tell you that I have six kids? I get these moments times SIX. How lucky am I?

Jeremy

Graci Recovering

Hi Everyone:

Thanks for all of your concern about Graci. I just wanted to give you a quick update. She is out of surgery and is doing well in the recovery room. They anticipate that she will come home at about 8pm tonight. I saw her for a few minutes at the hospital. She was very thirsty, tired and needing mom! For now, all we know is that Graci will be on oxygen during the nights going forward. As we get more information, we will keep you updated. Thanks for the prayers. This is a special little girl who has had an amazing impact on the lives of many, many people here in America (let alone those she impacted in China). She is in the Lord's hands.

Jeremy

So thankful...

For all of you wonderful friends and family who are fasting and/or praying for Graci tomorrow, we want to say thank-you!! It means so much to us and to her. Grace acts all embarrassed when I tell people she is having surgery, but I can tell from her face that she is secretly LOVING all the attention. (:

The surgery itself is fairly minor. They will do it in the cath lab and will go through veins in her legs. She has had this done three times before, though it looks like this one will be a bit lengthier. She'll be admitted into the hospital at 9:00, with a surgery time of 10:30. Surgery should last anywhere from 2-4 hours. They have a room reserved for her to stay the night, but there is a great chance that she will come home tomorrow. Like I said, the surgery isn't very major. What is major is the outcome of the surgery. It will determine exactly what we are facing with her.

So, again-- a big giant thank-you. I will for sure keep you posted on how things go.

--Christianne

She wriggled her way into our hearts...

First of all, if you haven't read the previous post concerning Graci, be sure to do so.

Now...

When I wrote the “Do you know what I know” post, it seems that even I didn’t know what I know. (: I had felt so earnest in my heart—completely convicted in the knowledge that someone out there needed to hear my feelings about adoption. A little ironic that we were the ones that needed to hear what I had to say…

So are you ready to hear the story? Or do you just want to see a picture??!!!

Go ahead, scroll on down and see her beautiful face. Then come back up and hear how one special little girl has found her home.

It started back in September. Yes, just a few weeks after coming home from China with our Xander. I had no right to be checking the waiting child list! Still, when I was looking up post adoption info on our agency's site, I couldn’t help but peek at the kids who were waiting. There she was, a little four-year-old girl (now five) whom I had seen before. But this time, it was different. I had “that feeling.” I opened up her profile and read about this sweetheart, blind and abandoned at birth, and my heart was just doing flip-flops. I tried to convince myself that it was because she reminded me so much of Elli, not because she was OURS, but I couldn’t deny that the Spirit was whispering something to my heart. Later that day, I was out on the trampoline with Elli when—you guessed it—a ladybug flew inside the net and landed right next to me. (If you haven’t followed our blogs, ladybugs are a symbol of luck in the adoption community and seem to show up on every important day of our adoption journeys.)

I had a talk with Jeremy.

He was so sweet. He even cried when he saw her picture and said he was so glad that I was the kind of person who would open my heart to her. He told me how much he loved me. And then he told me I was off my rocker.

Or something like that.

Basically, he said no. And I admit that I was very relieved. It seemed that there was no way that it could be right for us. After all, we had just come home from China! We had SIX kids!! We were already barely keeping our heads above water!!!

And I can promise you, that when I wrote my adoption post in November, the thought hadn’t even remotely crossed my mind that I was writing it for us. Jeremy didn’t either. Though he did cry when he read it, and we talked about how grateful we were for the things we knew and the ways adoption had changed our lives. And that was that.

Until a few weeks ago... That’s when we were sitting at Elli’s IEP meeting. There we were, Jeremy, myself, and four of the WONDERFUL women who give of their hearts and expertise each preschool day. Elli was in a corner of the room, jumping and playing with the toys. Jeremy thought to himself how grateful he was for the wonderful resources we had to help Elli. For all the help that these women were giving her. And he looked over at Elli and thought how her blindness wasn’t really an issue—it was her cognitive delays that were so hard to deal with. And then the thought entered his mind, “There is a little girl in China who is just blind.”

And he knew.

He describes it as a triangle being formed that day between him, and her, and God. That perhaps more than with any of our other children, he KNEW she was meant to be ours. He couldn’t remember what she looked like, how old she was—nothing except that he loved her.

And so later that day I got a phone call. (: (Usually it’s the other way around.) I was overwhelmed (I had long since given up the idea of adopting her—though I will admit I kept thinking about that ladybug) but looked up her file. As it turns out, that VERY day, her file had been marked to be returned to China. This happens when nobody shows interest in a child over a period of several months, and the agency is forced to return their file. Sometimes these files are sent to another agency, and sometimes they are kept in China and the children are deemed “unadoptable.” So it’s no coincidence that Jeremy had his experience on the day that he did.

I must say that I was worried that our agency would think we were crazy when I called and asked them to hold on to that file for just a few more days! It meant the world to me that they were so thrilled and supportive of us considering her. It gave me assurance that maybe I could do this crazy thing. It didn’t take long—just a few days of fasting and prayer before I knew what Jeremy knew.

That she is ours.

That all of my concerns had been answered by myself in my blog entry! That I needed to let go of my fears and embrace the blessing that our Heavenly Father was placing in our lives. The blessing of another beautiful little China doll. Who happens to have a birthday right in between Xander’s and Elli’s, making, ahem… THREE in kindergarten next year. You know, cause we always wanted triplets. Or not. (:

Telling our children was such a sweet experience. We have always asked for their input in our adoptions. We took each of them to dinner with us, individually, over the next couple of weeks to tell them about this little girl and see what they thought. Each responded so beautifully and selflessly. I just fell more in love with my kiddos!! My favorite response was from Xander, who jumped up and down, laughing and saying in his cute Chinese accent, “YAY! More family for my family!”

☺☺☺☺☺☺

And that, folks, is exactly how I feel—more family for my family!!! YAY!!!!

Here she is…



Dang Ling You.

Surname, the same as Elli and Xander's. Given name the same as Graci's middle name in Chinese. Fun!

And as soon as I figure out how to do it, I will post some VIDEO we have of her. This little girl’s smile lights up the screen!

We’re thinking “Alexis” as a first name, and calling her “Lexi.” That way it’s close to Alexander (Xander) since they’re so close in age and we’re keeping the traditional ending for our girls’ names. What do you think???

Oh, and as far as timing—it’s looking like November-ish. Just as we were receiving the bad news about Graci, we were receiving good news—pre-approval—from China. Oh, the roller-coaster of our life!

Christianne

Happy Love Day!!

Jeremy and I had a nice date planned last night, but it fell through when we both were battling headaches. I was feeling a little sorry for myself, but then we were awakened this morning bright and early with breakfast in bed and a Happy Valentine’s Day song. We weren’t expecting it, and I was just so overcome with love for our wonderful kids. Throughout the day we continued to see little acts of kindness from them. Parker let me stay in bed while he got Elli up, fed her, and put her in the bath. He also made Xander a fried egg sandwich (Parker’s specialty). Pretty good for a nine-year-old! Taylor worked for over two hours on the cutest treasure hunt for the other kids. The treasure—pictures and love notes for them. (: One example:

Xander shared his candy with everyone in the family. He also was so good to be quiet this afternoon and let us have a nap. Elli always makes us smile with her little songs—you cannot listen to her sing and not feel the pure love of Christ she exudes. Jessica showed us a powerful example of love tonight. We were playing a board game and she was sitting on Jeremy’s lap. His leg got sore, and he told her she needed to get off. For some reason, it broke her little heart, and she walked off sobbing. A couple of minutes later, she came back into the kitchen with red puffy eyes carrying drinks for Jeremy and me. This sparked a great conversation about how to act when someone hurts our feelings. We decided as a family that for one week, every time someone does something to us that makes us sad or upset we are going to turn around and serve them. Good job, Jesi!

And finally, Graci and her Achievement Days girls sang “Where Love Is” in Sacrament meeting today. It was the best Valentine. She looked so so beautiful and smiled during the whole song. She was just glowing. There was a line in the song, “the happiness we feel when love has found us” that brought tears to my eyes. I thought of how far she has come in the last couple of years. She has evolved into such a beautiful young woman. She is responsible and thoughtful and caring. Most importantly, I feel that she has finally found her place in our family—she is secure in our love and happy in our home. We love her beyond words. She has blessed us in so many ways.

With that, I am so burdened to share that her health is not as good as we want it to be. It seems that Graci has recently developed pulmonary hypertension. In simple terms, the arteries in her lungs have narrowed and hardened, making her heart work too hard to get blood to her lungs. The past couple of weeks have brought an EKG, ECHO, and a cardiac MRI. This Friday, she will undergo surgery in the cath lab. They will be trying some different medications and seeing how her heart responds to them. The results of the surgery will be pivotal in knowing what exactly we are facing here. Even though I have tried to not worry until we know more, I can’t help but feel the wind has been knocked out of me and I am left gasping for air. We were not expecting this. We also found out this week that she has cervical stenosis and will need to be seen by the top neurosurgeon at Primary Children’s.

We need this little girl with us, so please, know that we would love your prayers. One of my friends offered to fast for her on Friday. I loved that idea, and would invite any of you who feel so inclined to join our fast. It would obviously mean the world to us, as she means the world to us.

With the storm always comes a rainbow, and we are so happy to share with you some very very exciting news! It deserves a post of it’s own—and I’m going to work on it right now so Teri will still like me!! Check back soon!

Happy Valentines Day!
--Christianne

Random tid-bits about our family:

Jeremy:

Takes off his wedding ring to weigh himself. You know, in case its HALF AN OUNCE makes a difference.

Played “Zero the Hero” this week in Jesi’s kindergarten class. Her teacher said he was “phenomenol.”

Loves shrimp tacos. Possibly more than he loves me.




Graci:

Has more doctors than she has fingers, including several cardiologists, an orthopedist, and, most recently, a neurosurgeon.

Loves money. Will do almost anything for money. (This comes in very handy for me.)

Sleeps with 2 pillows, 6 blankets and 24 stuffed animals.




Taylor:

Is found nearly every morning on the floor, huddled over the heating vent, with a blanket completely covering him—sound asleep. (He does this after waking up in the morning to use the bathroom.)

Has the team record for number of shots made in a row during practice—24!! (The previous record was 5!)

Eats as much as most adults. Or elephants. For example, I sent in his school lunch a ham sandwich, drink, bag of chips, a big orange, carrot sticks, and two large cookies. He came home and said, “Mom, can you start sending bigger lunches?”




Parker:

Will be a great husband—he always notices if I’ve changed my hair, clothes, or even eye-shadow, and constantly comes up and hugs me “just because.”

Puts ketchup on his tacos (a Nelson thing).

Does not like to sleep in.




Jessica:

Went on her daddy date last night. Approached Jeremy right before, took his hand and asked demurely, “Are you ready to go on a date with such a beautiful girl?” Later told me she had a crush on Daddy.

Likes to take a purse of “stuff” wherever she goes.

Is not afraid to speak her mind. She was unhappy I was leaving the other day to go to the store. She said (not in her princess voice) “I am very very frustrated at you, Mommy. I am very angry. And the angry is not going to go away. There is nothing that will make the angry go away.” As it turns out, playing dress-up with Graci made the angry go away. Instantly.





Elli:

Is singing “Frosty the Snowman” at the top of her lungs as I type this.

Will sit on the potty and “go” about 75% of the time. Will also “go” various other places. For example, yesterday when I went to get her up in the morning, she had taken off her jammies and diaper and had somehow (still can’t figure out how she possibly did it) climbed up into the windowsill and was squatting on it, playing in a puddle of urine.

Says “chocolate ball” probably about 50,000 times a day. (She fell in love with these at my parents house over the holidays.)





Xander:

Found the haircutting scissors and decided to try them out. Ended up looking like top pic. Wasn't happy when Mom gave him a buzz. Best friend Annie (whom he has a bit of a crush on) told him she liked his new haircut. Was immediately VERY happy with the buzz.

Bursts into tears if you so much as raise an eyebrow at him.

Has superpowers of various sorts. I never knows when I will be turned into a dragon, or a frog, or made to disappear.


Good to be back in the blogging world. Thanks so much for sending postcards to Jesi. I think she’s received 5-6, and in her words, “The gingerbread really really loves me. More than anyone else in my class. He loves Sawyer too, but not quite as much as me.” (:

Oh, and get ready to fall in love…

Postcards are still welcomed:)

We've had a few people ask if Jesi's class still wants postcards from different places. (See the entry Run, Run...below). Yes, the class would still love to get postcards through the end of March. The address is:

Jessica Green
Mrs. Proud's AM Kindergarten Providence Hall
4795 W Mt. Ogden Peak Dr
Herriman, UT 84096

Thanks!

Jeremy

I have no idea what to write...

But it has been so long, I just needed to put something in here. Christi is reading over my shoulder and thinks I'm an idiot for saying I don't know what to write. She says there are a thousand things to write about. I guess I'm just too wiped out from the virus I've been battling for the last couple of days to think straight.

The older boys are both playing basketball and I'm their coach:) Parker's team is 7-0. Parker is an absolute animal on the court. He is almost unstoppable. One of the moms on our team asked "Was he born with a basketball in his hands?" I responded, "It really doesn't matter what kind of ball it is. If you put it in Parker's hands, good things happen:)"

Taylor's team started out 0-2 and then went on a 5-game winning streak and is now 5-2. They've been playing together for 3 years and do very well. Taylor is a GREAT shooter. He's spent hours practicing his shot, and it really shows when he's playing.

Being a dad is very tiring, but it is the most WONDERFUL job in the world:)

Jer