Couple of Pictures

The other day Cali and Jesi were gigling.  "What?" I asked.  Jesi explained: "When Cali locks her leg in place and stands up...she's shorter than I am!"  Another fit of laughter from the two girls.

We were driving to Parker's basketball game the other day.  Some of us were really tired...

A Family Home Evening trip to the rec center to go swimming.  This picture shows almost enough towels for our family:

Have a super-fantastic day!

-Jer

Who's on the phone?

Saturday morning I took Taylor to a junior high math competition.  On the way back I was going to go right by Walmart.  I figured I could stop and pick up some items for Sunday dinner.  I've become much more domestic lately.  I cook way more frequently than I used to.  I planned on making cream of broccoli soup (which I did and which turned out to be very well received by the kiddos!).

I called Christi to see if she wanted me to get anything for her while I was at the store.  She answered the home phone and we talked for a few minutes.  She asked if we had been able to find the competition and Taylor's teacher.  I had.  She asked if we were on time.  Early!  (This is a fairly big accomplishment for me.)  I asked how her morning had been.  Had she been able to go back to sleep after we left?  No.  What was the problem?  Sophi and Lexi kept coming in the room and needing this and that, etc.  Anyway, we had been talking for at least five minutes.  I finally came around to the point of my call.  "Do you need me to get anything while I'm at Walmart?"

Instantly this third voice chimes in, very matter-of-factly and without any hint that she might think she's a third wheel in this conversation:  "We could use some fresh rasberries and strawberries for waffles, 'cuz I love waffles.  And maybe you could get some Fruity Pebbles.  Actually, maybe you should get two bags of Fruity Pebbles 'cuz we have such a big family.  Oh, and you know those cookies you get for lunch?  The ones that are chocolate and strawberry and vanilla?  But you've been only getting the vanilla kind lately?  You should get some of the chocolate and strawberry ones 'cuz I really like them, too."

"Thanks, Jess.  Those are great suggestions.  Would you like me to get some cool whip for the waffles?"

"Just a minute, let me check and see if we have any...pause...Um, is sour cream like cool whip?"

"Not at all."

"Then, yes.  You better get some cool whip, too.  Good idea, Dad!"

I love my Jessica!!!

-Jeremy

Elizabeth

Elli.  What goes on in your head when you sing pop songs and church songs and songs I've never heard but that are obviously real songs and songs I've never heard because you just made them up?  What motivates you to go downstairs, play the piano for a few minutes, then come back up and play with three of your rmusical toys at once, pushing the same button rapidly so that you hear the first sound of whatever the toy does over and over and over again?  Why do you suddenly get angry and scream and throw a fit when two seconds before you were sitting silently with your thumbs pressing your eyes?  What makes you ask repeatedly for chocolate and pumpkin bread and juice and treats and fruit snacks and many other types of food (OK, that last one was a dumb question:).  Dear, wonderful Elli, what made you ask, "Dance with Mommy?" yesterday morning?  How happy you made your mother.  You had never asked for this before.  Last year I started dancing with you before you got on the schoolbus, and since then you have often asked to dance with Daddy.  But today, something made you ask for your mom. 

Oh to understand you, sweet Elli.  And to have you understand us.  You had an appointment with a child psychiatrist today.  We set it up a few weeks ago when you were going through an almost unendurable screaming phase.  It was having an impact on all of us at home and on your teachers at school.  We were hoping there might be some medication that would help you settle down, help you feel less agitated.  But now you've settled down on your own.  You're on to a happier phase with lots of giggles and laughs and jumps and bounces.  And so we wondered why we were taking you at all.

Elli, I continue to grow in my ability to love you for who you are.  I still have much to learn, but my own blindness is lessening as I have the blessing of seeing beyond what most people see.  Of seeing beyond what I've seen in the past when looking at people with severe cognitive disabilities.  Of seeing you.  The glimpses are few and often far between.  But they are there.  Times when the distance between us suddenly becomes oh-so-small.  A hug.  A kiss.  A rare comment.  Glimpses that let us know you are in there.  Waiting.  And we continue to wait for you, dear Elli.  And we have faith.  A perfect Father has a perfect plan for you.  One far beyond our comprehension, but nonetheless His perfect will for you.  And you are beautiful.  Beautiful for who you are now.  Because someday when your body and mind work perfectly, you will still be you!  That precious spirit He protected in a body that would never have to deal with temptation or sin.  And I am sure that when we meet the perfect you we will look back and say, "If only we had been less blind, we would have seen more of the real you back then."  The real Elli. 

Christi reminded me tonight of a post I wrote on Elli's blog a couple of years ago.  I had been blessed with a glimpse of an unhindered Elli.  The Lord watches over us.  He loves us.  And He blesses us with moments of perfect sight when we need them most.  And then they pass.  And we continue on in faith until the next moment comes.

So grateful for those moments.

-Jeremy

Good Kids!

We try, on at least a semi-regular basis, to have a family council each Sunday.  This is a meeting that the kids really look forward to.  During family council, each family member can bring up one concern they have or one idea they think would be good for our family.  Usually we just involve the oldest five, and the ideas and thoughts they bring up are very relevant.  We discuss each idea as a family and everyone is welcome to provide input and suggestions.  Everybody's thoughts are treated with respect, even if an idea isn't implemented.  It's a great way to introduce changes into our routines and to really get everyone's buy-in. 

One topic we've been discussing for the last couple of weeks is whether or not to begin a morning family scripture study.  We have always had a brief scripture after our family prayer in the evening, but it is tailored more towards the younger kids.  The morning study would still be short, but it would be more in-depth and hopefully more spiritually nourishing.  It would require us all to get up a little earlier, so there has been some resistance to the idea, but not a lot.  Overall, I've been really impressed by our kids' willingness to do something difficult but rewarding.

Last night at family council we decided to give the early morning routine a try for a week and then discuss how it went.  We all agreed to get up at 6:25 and meet in the living room at 6:30.  Taylor even volunteered to get up at 6:20 and make hot chocolate for everyone.  Before bed Parker said to me, "I really think it will be great to start our day with scriptures.  I'm really looking forward to it." 

WOW!

Let me just say that I was not too enthusiastic about similar morning scripture times when I was a kid.  I'm so grateful for such good kids with such great perspective:)

-Jer

Two Peas in a Pod

Lexi and Soph have a very special relationship.  I think it is at least in part due to their having been adopted together.  I love to see Sophi leading Lexi around the house by grasping Lexi's hand between her chin and her chest.  I love to see Lexi lift Sophi down from her high chair after she's eaten.  They are quite cute.  And they can get into some funny situations.

I'm sitting in my office trying to get some work done.  I hear Lexi and Sophi come downstairs.  They're playing in the other room.  I ask them to come into my office so I can ask them a question.  I hear Sophi start walking in, talking as she comes. 

As she gets close to the door, she suddenly stops and says "But Daddy...I maked!!!"  (That's how she pronounces 'naked'.)

 "Just come in anyway," I say.  Sure enough, she is naked as a jaybird (except for a pearl ankle bracelet?!?).  "Why are you naked?"

"Cuz I went potty."

"Who helped you?"

"Lexi!"

Uh-huh.  Somehow I just don't think this episode lived up to the same sanitary standards I would have tried to incorporate. Guess I'll just be glad that they work together so well.

-Jeremy

PS.  It just occurred to me that perhaps the title of this post should be "Two Pees in a Pod"...  Sorry:)

Ability

I met this young lady's mother at a medical convention recently.  What a great example Lauren is of the tremendous contributions and successes that can be offered by those with disabilities!

See the video HERE.
-Jer

The Woman

Jesi is such a dichotomy.  On the one hand she is still Daddy's little girl.  She loves to be tucked in each night.  She is sweet and innocent.  She can get her feelings hurt at the smallest things.  On the other hand, she is this pre-teen crusader with an agenda she is not afraid to share with anyone.  She tells us what she thinks of rules, seating arrangements, chore assignments and whatever else she wants to express her opinion on.  And her tone of voice lets you know who she thinks the boss is.

One of my favorite ways she takes charge is when she defends Christi.  If she thinks I've done something unfair or unkind to my sweet wife, Jesi lets me know!  Like this:

-"Dad, The Woman needs some rest!  You clean the dishes!"
-"Dad, you don't talk to The Woman like that!"
-"Dad, The Woman said she needs some chocolate!  Go to the store and get some!"

I have the feeling that I better get used to the concept of The Woman, or more appropriately The Women, letting me know where I stand for the next many, many years;)

-Jer

A Solitary Tear

"How are you?"

Asked millions of times a day around the world.

Usually more a greeting than a question.

"How are you?"

I asked with sincere intent on Sunday morning.

Nine kids in a pew and on time to church

makes it hard to focus on anything else, but

there are some things that make you

stop,

forget yourself,

love another.

"How are you?"

Such a dreadfully incompetent question

for one who has just lost her mother.

A beautiful 17-year-old girl,

burdens now far beyond the petty but oh-so-real poignancies of teenage life,

looking after three younger siblings.

Seated directly in front of us.

"How are you?"

"We're doing OK,"

said with a real, if subdued smile.

My heart went out, trying to comprehend their incomprehensible loss.

I focused on them for a few moments, until

"Dad, she won't let me sit where I want to"'s

pulled me back to my world.

My oh-so-challenging

and yet

not,

world.

And my mind forgot their sadness.

Until.

She turned to look at her little sister.

A solitary tear sat halfway down her cheek.

And my heart broke.

Ounce for ounce, has there been a more emotion-filled tear?

Which of the multitude of fears and frustrations

had pushed that one tear

down?

So composed.  So determined.  So strong.

Just one tear.

The opening hymn began

'Come unto Jesus, ye heavy laden

Careworn and fainting, by sin oppressed.

He'll safely guide you unto that haven

Where all who trust him may rest.'

So grateful.

Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It is true.

His love is there.

His love is real.

Nothing can soothe the loss of a mother, a child, a spouse.

Except His love.

I am grateful that this mother, now gone, cared so much about her daughter.

Cared enough to spend a lifetime preparing her for this time.

Helping her come to know Jesus.

To love Jesus.

And to be able to reach out

and feel his loving arms

surround her in this time of

unsurpassed pain.

I pray.

That somewhere in the midst of those emotions,

in spite of pain,

overcoming the agony,

is the light of

hope

in that solitary tear.

-Jeremy

Random Sampler

Me:  "Elli, will you be my valentine?"

Sophi:  "DAD!  She's not a treat!!!"

(By the way, you could probably put every word Sophi speaks in all caps and not be exaggerating:)
--

I have come to the realization that I feel a distinct thrill of pride when Taylor and Parker tell me how envied their home lunches are and what powerful trading prowess they command.  When I first became cognizant that I found this somehow fulfilling, I felt a bit sheepish.  But I now embrace my domestic triumph.

--

Xander had a fever the other day and stayed home from school.  He designed a "thermometer holder" so it would always be around when he needed it...:

--
Green Girls with green lick-m-ade...:

 

 --

Jess has become quite the reader lately.  She's also a bit of  contortionist.  Combine the two and you get a sense of how she likes to relax...:

And of course when I took a picture of Jesi, Sophi demanded I take a picture of her, too!

-Jeremy

Out of the mouths of babes...

I fancy myself a decent singer.  It became apparent very quickly in Nashville that I'm nowhere near music star potential, but I feel like I can carry a tune, and perhaps even be of service to a choir.  Today as we were singing the opening hymn in church I sang the bass part.  I felt as though my deep, rich voice was nicely complementing those singing the melody.  Then Sophi gave me some insight into how those around me might perceive my musical capabilities:

"Dad!  Sing pretty!!!"

Pretty clear message:)

-Jer

Where to turn...

I love this video.   I especially felt for the young man in the wheelchair.   One blessing of having children with special needs is having daily reminders of the need to be grateful for my body.  Watching them struggle to do things that are easy for most people can be heartbreaking and poignant-- much like how you probably felt watching that man try to pick that flower.   But ultimately watching their struggles and the courage with which they bear them gives me strength to do the tasks that lie before me and a beautiful, eternal perspective on life.  I am so grateful to know who to turn to in my trials and I am grateful that my children also know and have such perfect faith in Him.  I love my Savior, Jesus Christ.

--Christianne

Fun times.

I have nothing cute or clever in me tonight.  It's been one of those days.  Started off when I woke up not feeling great myself.  Got worse when I went downstairs to get Elli out of bed and found out she had become sick in the night.  Not only had her messy diaper leaked all over, but she had thrown up and it was entangled throughout her thick black hair.  It was so sad.  Poor girl!!!  Poor mom!!!  Spent the day cleaning up the mess and then just doing enough to get by.   Jeremy was sweet enough to take the littles to the rec center and then make dinner to give me a little break-- during which time I promptly fell asleep.  Naps are the best!  Feeling more hopeful for a better day tomorrow.  (:

--Christianne

Oh, and since I'm sure you don't want a pic of the mess Elli made, I'll share this one instead-- Taylor, Grace, and Cali on their way to the youth etiquette dinner at our church.  (Parker missed it because of a basketball game.)  Can't believe I have FOUR in the Young Women/Young Men program!  I love these amazing kids so so much!!!!!!!!!

Elli meets the bureaucrats. (Or Jer's Soapbox)

Several of our children have been involved in IEPs over the years (Individual Ecucational Plans).  Kids who are receiving special services are required to have these in order to evaluate their progress and develop goals for their improvement.  With Elli, the progress is extremely slow.  This year, as part of the process, we have been asked to fill out a questionnaire.  The questions we are being asked about Elli have had me literally laughing out loud.  We are ranking her on an "Always to Never" scale for these:

-Stands up for others who are treated unfairly.

-Says nice things about herself/himself without bragging.

-Makes a compromise during a conflict.

-(This was doubly hilarious) Makes eye contact when talking.

-Stands up for herself/himself when treated unfairly.

-Does what she/he promised.

If you know Elli at all, you know that these questions are completely irrelevant to Elli's life.  As her educational plan is made, other bureaucratic balderdash becomes apparent.  In an effort to make things fit into their box, the legislature requires that kids have math goals, science goals, etc in their IEPs.  OK, that's really great in many cases, but have any of the people who create these guidelines ever been to Kauri Sue Hamilton???  Having a goal for Elli to be able to do addition up to 10 + 10 is more outlandish than setting a goal for me to part the Great Salt Lake.  It ain't gonna happen!

We are certainly grateful for Elli's FANTASTIC school and WONDERFUL teachers.  We will continue to check the boxes and fill out the surveys that must be filled out in order for her to attend.  I just wish those who were creating the standards and requirements would take the time to understand a little better just what these children need.

-Jer

I think I just sent Elli to school in Jesi's shoes...

One of those mornings

The alarm didn't go off.  Christi had to leave at 7:30 to take Sophi and Cali to Shriner's.  I had to see Jesi, Lexi and Xander off on my own.  I still have to get Elli up, bathed, fed, hair done and on the bus in 25 minutes.  We were up until about midnight working on a Rube Goldberg project with Graci.  (Thanks OODLES to my brothers Steve and Ty who spent a few hours of their weekend helping her design the thing 3 weeks ago.)  Felt like a tornado hit.  The kicker was as I walked the kids out to the car.  Jesi sat down and I looked at her pants.  They are light khaki.  It looks like she got rasberry jam on her hands...and then wiped them on the front of her legs...and she has a hole in one knee.

They ARE very loved!  That has to count for something, right?!?

Jeremy

Puzzle Them Home Help

I really need to do a detailed update on Puzzle Them Home, but I don't have time right now (finishing up homework assignments with our Grace-- gotta love Rube Goldberg projects!)  We continue to be humbled and in awe of everyone's efforts in our behalf.  It is AMAZING.  It is SUPER HUMBLING.  It is so much FUN!  I will fill you in on how it's all going later this week, but for now I need to ask a favor!  The Puzzle Them Home committee has been given some awesome opportunities to reach out to the realty brokerages in Salt Lake and Utah counties, and they need some additional help.  They think that this opportunity could be very key in getting our miracle and want to capitalize on it as much as humanly possible.  They are going to have a meeting at 1:00 tomorrow here in Herriman to explain to volunteers how they can help.  They are looking for people who live throughout Salt Lake and Utah counties, not just here in Herriman.  If you think that you might be able to help with this, first of all know of my absolute LOVE and GRATITUDE for you!  Please contact me at christi405@yahoo.com and I will give you details on the meeting tomorrow.  We need SEVERAL additional people to spread out the workload.  This will be something that will take up some of your time over the next couple of weeks.  I HATE asking for help, but we know that it's important in making this work... Thanks so much!!!!!!!!

--Christianne

How To Scare a 40-year-old Man To Death

Have his 14-year-old daughter come up to him, giggle, and say "Did you know I can get my driver's permit this year?"

Aaaaaaarrgghhhhhhhh!

Jer

Language Barriers

Parker is playing in a basketball tournament this weekend.  He played two games tonight with an hour break in between.  Cali and I went to watch both of them and Christi was coming up to watch the second.  During the break, I asked Cali if she wanted to go get something to eat at McDonald's.  Her face lit up.  As we were going out to the van she asked if we could have Chinese food instead.  I said we could and her face lit up even more.  This short Daddy Date was wonderful.  Cali was talkative and animated.  She loved speaking Chinese with our waiter.  She was bright and happy.

She is often bright and happy, but she also goes through spells where she seems pretty discouraged.  I think much of this can be attributed to her inability to communicate effectively with those around her.  She has Graci to speak to, but Graci isn't always around and even when she is, she doesn't always want to talk.  Earlier today, Christi was talking to someone and mentioned that she wished she could just fast forward through the next year for Cali and get to the point where her English is pretty good.  How her world will expand when she can have meaningful conversations with those around her.

Tonight was a good reminder that a little one on one time can go a long way.  Even though our communication is limited, if I spend time focused just on her, Cali is willing to try, and enjoys it.  She is a precious, precious girl.

Jeremy

Chinese New Year

We had so much fun at a Chinese New Year celebration for local families with children from China!  I arrived before Jeremy and Parker (they were at a basketball game) and immediately upon arriving, Elli went into one of her fits of rage.  I'm thinking, "How in the world am I going to manage all of these kids here?"  Within seconds I had all kinds of wonderful people helping-- getting plates of food for the kids, bringing us drinks, helping them with eating and crafts-- all people we didn't really even know.  I am SO grateful for all of the genuinely GOOD people in the world!  (: (: (:  We had a great night-- there were crafts, a parade, dances, skits, and lots of yummy Chinese food.  My kids loved seeing so many families that they could relate to.  Thank you, everyone that made this night possible!

The Avacado Whisperer

(Read this with your best Rod Serling impression)

Picture this.  A man wandering through WalMart.  A glazed look in his eyes.  Stumbling around  trying to find the wonder ingredient hawked by the sample lady on his last visit.  A simple formula for fantastic guacamole.  He turns a corner, and there she is!  Setting up her sample booth.  Preparing to share her culinary cunning with another lucky customer.  The man rushes up and asks, "Are you the guacamole lady?  What was the secret ingredient you were selling last time?"  She replies, "Rotel.  End of aisle 7.  Top right."  The man rushes down the aisle.  There it is!  He also grabs four avocados.  In less than three minutes he has found everything he needs, so he returns to say thank you.  As he rounds the familiar corner, he stops short.  She's gone.  Three minutes.  Nothing left.  No booth.  No wares.  No lady.  Which makes you wonder:  was she ever...really...there...at...all?  DA-DA-DAH!

Seriously, it was like I was in the Twilight Zone.  One minute she was there, the next she was gone.  Perfect timing to answer my question.  She was like my own little guacamole guardian angel.  I was never really a big guac fan until our November 2011 trip to Mexico.  There I became hooked.  And this Rotel stuff was great.  I made it about two weeks ago.  Half the kids loved it.  Half the kids hated it.  (I'm obviously rounding here!)  But that's par for the course in this home.  If it's not pizza, it's virtually impossible to find something that everyone likes.

Does anyone else go shopping at WalMart, fill up one cart, check out and load it into the car, then go right back in and fill up another cart?!?

I am still in love with price matching.

I took Taylor and Parker skiing the other day.  Started out fantastic:

Sadly it ended with Taylor taking a pretty good spill and spraining his knee.  Consolation prize--he got to go to the ER and get a pair of the coolest shorts ever:

Not to mention crutches and all the corresponding attention from the girls at school.

I love it when I find one of the kids "books" lying around.  Jesi and Xander are usually responsible for these creations:

I'm not sure if they contain more pieces of paper or more staples.

Me:  "I sure have beautiful kids!"
Sophi:  "Yep, you do!!!"

-Jer