Groundbreaking Recap

Ok, so Monday was seriously the most PERFECT evening!  Our hearts were just so full of excitement and gratitude and giddiness that we literally danced around our house when we got home!  Before I recap the evening events, I want to say thank you to a few people who helped make that night extra special:

Chrissy Probst, Julianne Rawlins, Lauren Hardcastle, Meghan Voss:  These amazing women planned, coordinated, and carried out the evening events.  These are my GIRLS!  I LOVE these beautiful, amazing women! We decided Friday morning to do this ceremony, so they had exactly three days to pull it off.  They are angels and wizards!

Bret Wright from Huish Construction:  We seriously love this man.  He didn't know us when he first saw a post on facebook asking for help and he has stepped forward as the builder-- a job he has already spent hours and hours and hours on.  He is donating all of his time.  Truly, Bret is one of the greatest guys we have ever known.

Jamie and Mickey from Walker Home Design:  These are the guys who have drawn up the plans for the home.  They are INCREDIBLE.  (The guys AND the plans!)  Again, this has been done free of charge.  Holy cow.

Jodi and Amber from Children and the Earth:  These women are so selfless.  Their foundation gives and gives and gives without the overhead that many foundations have.  They have been amazing to our family and because of our affiliation with them, people are able to have their donations be tax-deductible.  They have blessed our lives tremendously.

Munchkin Radio:  Mike was called Friday afternoon and was able to fit us in to his busy schedule for free.  He is an amazingly talented guy and his music/prizes/games kept the night fun for the kids.  All of my kids love this guy.

Great Harvest Bread:  These guys are so great!  They donated 200 huge and super yummy cookies for the event.  They are also helping with fundraising at their store.  WOW.

Honeyville Farms:  Donated the hot chocolate.  These are the same guys that have helped us with flyers,  fundraised $2,000 AND donated some food storage.  Amazing!

Karman Schulz Photography:  Took all the awesome pictures I'm about to post.  Karman has also agreed to do a time-lapse photoshoot of the home going up.  (:

Mia Love:  I know.  Can you believe Mia Love came?  This lady is the real deal.  She was so thoughtful and sweet and personable and wonderful with our kids.  I have no doubt she will continue to do great things in our community and nation.

Holly Richardson:  "Holly on the Hill" has been generous enough to share her insights and connections with us during this project.  Holly and her husband have adopted TWENTY kids (wowza!) and when their home was destroyed by fire, their community (Pleasant Grove) did their own "Extreme Makeover" for Holly's family.   It was Holly who shared this project with Mia Love and many others.  Thanks, Holly!

Coralee Moser:  A city councilwoman who has been so supportive of this project.  Such a nice lady.

Jill Kynaston:  Ok, I just had to mention Jill specifically because I was so impressed by her.  Jill is a blog reader from Payson (an hour away) that messaged us awhile ago to offer her brother's help on the project.  She is the sweetest lady ever.  I've never met her, but she drove all the way up here from Payson with her three adorable littles just to be here and support us.  Seriously.  Can you believe that?

Russ and Candice Smart:  These two amazing people are not only our laundry fairies and surrogate grandparents for our kids, they have also offered to do outdoor lighting for our home-- we are THRILLED.  Last night they came over to our house to drop off laundry and we visited for awhile.  After they left, Jeremy said, "I have to say, I'm so in love with those guys."  Perfectly put.

FRIENDS:  It made me feel SO GOOD to have friends and neighbors come out and support us.  Thank you to EVERYONE that was there.  I wished I had had the chance to thank you all individually.  We are so blessed to have you in our lives.

Ok, and I'm not sure how appropriate it is to thank our Heavenly Father on the blog rather than privately, but I just have to point out that we woke up to lots of snow on Monday morning.  We had so many people praying that things would clear before the groundbreaking.  At about 2:00, I spoke to Mike from Munchkin Radio who thought that he probably needed to back out because of weather.  I looked outside and sure enough, the snow was really coming down.  As you can tell from the pictures, our prayers were answered in a beautiful way.  We even had some sunshine.  God is in the details.  (:


My awesome friend, Julianne, emceed the event.  She welcomed everyone out and introduced many of the people mentioned above.  She let Jeremy and myelf say a few words and of course we both blubbered our way through that.  I was so overcome with emotion and gratitude-- my heart was seriously just bursting inside.   Jeremy dedicated the ground with a most beautiful prayer/blessing.  Among other things, he blessed it to be a place of refuge for our children and others, where they would be protected spiritually and emotionally and that it would be a place of great service.   Parker read a poem he had written after school that day.  It was awesome-- I'll include it at the bottom.  Our family, along with Bret, Tami, Mickey, and Chrissy, were then able to simultaneously turn the earth with gold painted shovels-- how cool is that?   Once we dug a few shovelfuls, other kids came up and took turns while we all visited, had refreshments, and watched the kiddos have a blast with Munchkin Radio.  There were lots of fun prizes given out.

In other words, it was PERFECT.

I wish you all could have been there, but since you couldn't be, here are lots of pictures from Karman:

 The lot

 Lexi meeting Mia Love

 Cali meeting Mia

 Tami and Jodi from Children and the Earth

 Jer shaking hands with Mickey from Walker Home Design.  His son, Jamie is standing between them.

 Russ and Candice (can't really see their faces, but they are our laundry fairies), Bret (our builder) and Jamie (architect)

 Julianne introducing our family

 Me blubbering

 Graci, Bret, Amber and Chrissy (the woman who started it all)

 Cali, Parker, Jer, Graci, Me, Lexi, Sophi, Elli (helping her is Missy, her teacher at church), Xander, Chrissy, Jesi, Taylor, Bret, Mickey and Amber

 Parker reading his poem

 Cali's cute friends:  Rachel, Kara, and Jessie

 Julianne, Jer, and Holly

 Amber, Jamie, me, Jer, and Mia

 Jer shaking hands with Tim from Honeyville Farms

 Coralee Moser from Herriman City

 

Mike from Munchkin Radio

  

Parker's poem: 

Today’s the day we’ve waited for

We’re finally breaking ground

And as I’m standing here

I see great people all around

It was a magical day

The day we got the call

And Chrissy told our family

That she would help us all

Our family is quite special

With lots of different needs

Well, this house will take care of that

I hope you all agree

Like in the house we live in now

With Cali’s wheelchair

It’s hard for her to move around

And it really isn’t fair

Elli is amazing

We all love her so much

But in our house right now

She ruins all our stuff

When we build our new house

She can jump and sing and play

She’ll do that in her special rooms

That will brighten up her day

This is the greatest miracle

That we have ever known

And we just want to say

We love you, Puzzle Them Home!

Conversation I just had...

Sophi:  "I'm so lucky to have a Mom!  I love you really lots!"

Me:  "I'm so lucky to have a Sophi!  I love YOU really lots!"

Sophi:  "Mom, I love being your daughter.  Thanks for adopting me, cuz I don't wanna be alone!"

Me:  "I love being your mommy.  Thank you for letting me adopt you!"

Sophi:  "You make my heart soooo happy!"

(:

And just so you know we are real-- the morning was also filled with plenty of whines from this sweet girl of ours.  (;

I will blog about this weekend and the groundbreaking soon.  I'm just waiting for pictures.  (:

--Christianne

Groundbreaking!!!

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

Today is the day!  In just a few hours, we will be breaking ground for our amazing new home!!

(Insert squeals, giggles, tears)

Please feel free to join us for this event!  I hear that there might be a couple of fun surprise guests there!   Here is the official info from Puzzle Them Home:

It's Time to Start Building!

We are pleased to announce that our contractor is officially going to break ground for the Green's new home on Tuesday, April 16th!  We at "Puzzle Them Home" want to thank you for the part you have played in the success of this project!  We couldn't have done it without you!

To celebrate, we are hosting a Ceremonial Groundbreaking Party on Monday.  If you live in the area, we would love to have you join us in the celebration.

Date:  Monday, April 15th
Time:  6:00 p.m.
Location:  14627 S. Knapper Way (6500 West) in Herriman (this is an empty lot, but the address shows up on Google Maps.)

In addition to the groundbreaking "ceremony" the following events will also be taking place:

• Munchkin Radio will be there with music, games and a prize wheel!
• Refreshments will be served.
• We will be creating a time capsule, so we are asking those in attendance to write a note or draw a picture for the capsule.
• We will be collecting the following items to send to Chinese orphanages:
  • Bibs
  • Summer clothes
  • Shoes and toys for children age newborn to 18 months
  • Hand towels
  • Light cotton blankets for summer
• We are also inviting the media to come and document this event.

Items of Business

1.  We have the results of Graci's MRI.  First, let me give you some background.  When Graci was six years old and still in China, she was taken to the hospital with a severe headache, nausea and loss of movement on her right side.  Her paperwork said she was treated for a cerebral abscess and that a follow-up MRI showed that everything was normal.  We hadn't really given a lot of thought to this event (her heart problems were a much bigger issue) and I had just filed it in the back of my head.  Of course, I did let the neurologist know about it and he immediately thought that it might be related to the seizures.  As it turns out, the MRI proved him correct.  Graci has tissue damage in the left frontal lobe of her brain.  The damaged area is about the size of a ping pong ball.  Upon viewing the MRI, the neurologist was quite surprised that she hasn't had other complications (besides seizures) from it, but being as how she hasn't, doesn't expect her to now.  She is now considered high risk for additional seizures, but because there is no way to know for sure if she will have them, we have chosen to forgo preventative medication for now.  After all, she went 8 years without a seizure-- what if she goes 8 more and didn't need meds?  If/when she does have another seizure we will change course and begin seizure meds.   If those don't control the seizures then surgery is an option, but it doesn't really sound like that's something we need to be thinking about at this point.  The initial abscess was likely related to her heart disease-- something I never would have put together.  Overall, I am very peaceful and happy about the results!  We have a reason for her seizures, a course of action, a fantastic neurologist-- and it's not something progressive like a tumor.   (:

2.  This Saturday will be very special for our family!  Lexi, Xander, and Cali have all chosen to be baptized.  We are so happy for them and their decision to follow Jesus Christ.   Anybody is welcome to attend.  It will be held at the Rose Canyon Stake Center on April 13 at 10:30 a.m.  Following the baptism we will have a light luncheon at the church.  Then at 3:00 we will have Cali sealed to our family at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple.  If you would like to attend any of these events, could you please let me know as soon as possible by leaving a comment or text or email?  I'm trying to get an idea of how much food to make.  (:

3.  I received an email last week from a sweet lady who has a heart for orphans.  I'm going to copy a portion of her email: 

I work with an orphan ministry called New Horizons for Children which brings orphans to America to live with host families for 4-5 weeks several times a year. After 10+ years of hosting from Eastern Europe we recently launched our China program! Our second hosting period from China will be this summer and our interview team just returned from meeting the precious little ones we'll be offering for hosting. We've been blessed to be let in to many special needs orphanages in China, something I know is very close to both your hearts. Our photolisting just went live this morning and when I saw this little boy the first ones I thought of were you!
Cheng Chu was born without arms, just like your sweet Sophi!! I was wondering if you'd be willing to help us advocate for a host family for him? I know how many lives Sophi has touched and thought your blog might be the perfect platform to help spread the word:)
I attached his photo and here is what his bio says: Cheng Chu. What a precious, precious little boy! Don't you just want to pinch those cheeks??!! He was very interactive with the interview team and made great eye contact with all. Though a little shy at first, he warmed up quickly and was great with the other kids. This sweet boy has a rather noticeable physical handicap- no arms- but it doesn't slow him down in the slightest. The interview team has video of him playing with Play Doh with his feet and he can also draw and play games using his feet as hands. He is articulate and smart but was a little overwhelmed at the end with all the attention.

He'll be available for hosting anywhere in the U.S. from mid July to the third week of August. It's $3150 to host a child from China. Cheng Chu as well as most of our other China host children are available for adoption should a family decide they'd like to adopt, but we are a host only agency and are only looking for the 5 week commitment at this time (though we hope and pray that many, many children will be adopted after the host program ends)!!
For more information on Cheng Chu or our other waiting children families can fill out our pre-application to host: http://goo.gl/3oAsa or check out our website at: http://www.newhorizonsforchildren.org/. 

Ok, so I read about this program and it sounds awesome but expensive!  It looks like there are grants you could apply for to help with the cost, so if you're interested but the cost is prohibitive, you should email them and ask.  Wouldn't it be cool if someone close to us fostered Cheng Chu so he and Sophi could meet?  (:  Here is his picture:

--Christianne

Sophi's Perspective

Sophi was cuddled up in my lap as we sat and watched General Conference.  She looked over at the large picture of her we have in our living room.  It's the picture we first saw, the one with the haunting eyes and plaintive expression.  Her in the orphanage.  Then we had this conversation:

Sophi:  "My birth mother left me alone, didn't she?"
Me (a bit taken aback):  "What?"
Sophi:  "My birth mother left me alone, didn't she?"
Me:  "Yes."
Sophi (with a big smile):  "Thanks, Dad, for adopting me!"
Me:  "You're welcome."
Sophi:  "You're my favorite."
Me:  "You're my favorite."

Wow.

-Jeremy

As I blog this, Sophi is standing next to me in her completely obtrusive, lean-against-you, use-you-to-help-her-keep-her-balance sort of way.  Her head and chest continue to push against you, up under your arms, against your legs.  She just kind of worms her way into your space.  This doesn't even take into account her non-stop chatter.  It takes some practice to learn to appreciate this, but I'm getting pretty good at it.  As I searched for the picture in iPhoto, Sophi was looking with me.  When I found it, I pulled a copy onto the desktop to make it easy to put in the blog.

Sophi (very offended):  "Why you take the picture out of me?!?"
Me:  "I just need to put it there so I can put it in the blog."
Soph (completely mollified):  "Oh.  Thank you, Dad.  You're so kind!"

I love her way of saying things:)

Perfect Elli

As you know by now, Elli loves to sing:)  One of her favorite songs is "My God Is So Great."  She sings it all the time:  My God is so great, so strong and so mighty.  There's nothing my God cannot do!"  Often she'll just say one phrase:  "my God is so great" or "my God is so good!"  Recently Parker started playing a game with Elli.  He will say, "Elli is soooooo..." and then Elli finishes the phrase.  At first she would use the same words from the song.  "Elli is sooo"..."good!"  "Elli is sooo"..."great!"  But then she started using other words that she hears people say about her.  "Elli is sooo"..."smart!"  "Elli is sooo"..."beautiful!"  My personal favorite is "Elli is sooo"..."perfect!"  And she is.  I don't understand God's plan for Elli.  I don't know why it was His plan for her to live this life in this body, but I do know this:  Elli is fulfilling her potential.  She is doing everything she can.  And by that measure she is indeed perfect.  I fall far short of my potential.  I make mistakes every single day.  But Elli doesn't.  Elli is sooo...PERFECT.

As I am typing this, I am looking out the window at Elli playing on the trampoline.  The best word I can use to describe her is FREEDOM.  She is jumping, spinning and finding joy.  Her hair flies up and down.  Her arms go out to her side.  Her smile is infectious.  She finds freedom as she jumps. And my spirit soars with hers as I watch her.  Elli is sooo...perfect.

Jer

Our Little Butterfly

I woke up this morning to the sounds of Sophi's non-stop talking.  It occurred to me how much she is like some cartoon character.  She seriously never stops talking.  70% of the time it's delightful and sweet.  30% of the time it's whiney or angry and is like nails on a chalkboard.  But as I was listening this morning (she was in delightful and sweet mode), it came to me what a blessing it is for her to be in this environment.  To be in a place where she is listened to and loved.  And sometimes corrected.  I was hit with how different her life would be if she was still in an orphanage.  She is undoubtedly the princess.  Loved by parents and siblings, grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles, friends and teachers.  How grateful I am to be a part of her life...a part of her miracle.  I love you Soph!

P.S.  Her "Little Butterfly" nickname came from the short film "The Butterfly Circus."  A beautiful testament to our innate value.

Jeremy

Puzzle Them Home update

Elli.

I don't have to do anything more than say her name to have it evoke SO MANY EMOTIONS.  

I love this girl more than life itself.  She is the source of so much joy in our home.  She is celestial.  She is treasured.  Her singing honestly makes my heart just swell inside.  I love her more than words.

And yet...

I don't think there is any possible way to express just how difficult Elli can be.  I really feel like the only people that can possibly comprehend it are people who have lived with autism themselves.  Combined with her blindness and just diagnosed bi-polar disorder, autism has wreaked havoc on our home.  Let me give you an example:

The other day, I was upstairs while Elli was downstairs playing the piano.  Usually if I can hear her playing the piano I know that she is safe, or maybe more accurately, the downstairs is safe.  (;   I thought about getting in the shower but for whatever reason put it off.  What a tender mercy!  If I had been in the shower, I wouldn't have heard the breaking glass.  I wouldn't have dashed down the stairs to find Elli, standing atop the piano having unscrewed a large lightbulb from the ceiling and crushed it.  I wouldn't have been able to clean up tiny shards of glass all about her before some major wounds could have happened.  But I did hear the glass and I did clean it up and I did end up in the shower.  Phew!  Afterwards, when I went down to check on her, I found our piano music shelf knocked over and sheet music strewn about the room, the huge plastic tub of legos tipped over, and Elli squatting atop the folded up (and now broken from her bouncing) ping pong table, her diaper shredded and scattered amongst all of the music/legos/toys.  This happened in the course of approximately 10 minutes.  I moved her to Xander's/Lexi's/Sophi's room while I cleaned up.  I put her on the bed where she will usually just happily lay and play in the blankets.  When I went to check on her, she had broken Sophi's treasured music box, ripped the pictures off of Xander's poster, and torn a basket into pieces.

I know-- something has to change.  Next week I am seriously gutting the house and getting rid of a lot of stuff just to help with the messes.  We do have a lock on her bedroom and there are times that I put her in there while I need some time alone.   There is not much she can do to her room that hasn't already been done-- blinds, light fixtures and closet doors have already been broken.  Walls have already been dented.   It's a place where I am not too worried about sending her and it has several toys that she likes so she usually enjoys being in there. But it is in the back corner of the house, away from family and noises and fun-- and I just can't lock her in there all of the time.

This is just one reason why I can't even contain the emotions I feel when I think of what Puzzle Them Home means to our family.  Among other things, the house plans include an area for Elli right off of the living room that is designed especially for HER, where she can hear us and be part of our family and have lots of sensory based play WITHOUT us fearing for her safety or the safety of our home.  This room will open to a gated area outside with a play place that is safe for her.  I can't even express what that means-- to be able to let her go outside (she LOVES being outside) without having to constantly supervise.  Plans also include a really big bedroom of her own where we can install a swing, mats for her to tumble on, and other sensory based activities so that when I do need to put her in there, I won't feel guilty because it will be a WONDERFUL place for her to be.  I'm teary just typing it!!!

And then there's Cali-- sweet Cali who has developed huge callouses on her knuckles from scooting around the house and having her hands bear the weight of her whole body (she has to drag her feet.)  Sweet Cali who so wants to be independent-- to go outside without having to wait until one of us can help get her wheelchair down the stairs, to be able to reach a microwave so she can warm up her own food, to be able to go up or down stairs without getting carpet burns, to play games like hide-and-go-seek with the rest of the family without having to stop because she is so exhausted from dragging her body around the house.

I could go on to list what this new home would mean to each child, but even then, I feel like it would do no justice to how we feel about this home and the love and gratitude we feel toward everyone that has been involved in this project.  We are so blessed and happy and ok in the home we are in now-- but it would be life-changing to move to an accessible, custom home.  As it becomes more and more real that this home could happen, I feel more and more humbled by it all and just so, so grateful. I can't tell you what it feels like...

I promised an update on Puzzle Them Home quite awhile ago.  I've had a hard time updating because there are so many things in the works and so many unknowns.  I will try to briefly explain what I DO know:

Monetary donations are at approximately $17,000.00.

In-kind donations (pledges of free labor) are at approximately $120,000.00.

Grants have been applied for, but we haven't received answers.

Bret Wright of Huish Construction is our builder.  He is the GREATEST guy ever.  He didn't know our family, but saw a post on facebook and contacted us to ask what he could do.  He has spent hours and hours of time already and will oversee the project.  He is doing this all without pay.  Jamie Walker from Walker Design has donated the plans for the home.  He and his collegues have also spent hours and hours in our behalf, all for free.  The home plans are AMAZING.  We are dying!  (:

We (Jeremy and I) are currently applying for a construction loan.  The donations (both monetary and in-kind) are making it possible that we can qualify when we wouldn't have been able to otherwise. This loan will cover the majority of the cost of the home.

In order for the home to be finished by the Parade of Homes (a must as we have promised this to those who have donated labor) we need to start digging now.  Our builder would have liked to have started weeks ago.  In otherwise, it is most definitely CRUNCH TIME.  It's PAST crunch time!

The committee is working so hard to secure donations.  There are basically three ways businesses or individuals can help:

financial contributions

free or discounted labor

free or discounted materials 

Financial contributions do not have to be big.  In fact, when we see donations of $5 or $10 come through we are just as humbled as by the bigger donations, as we know that it was likely a real sacrifice. 

Free or discounted labor can mean something as big as saying "We can do all of the cabinets," or "We can provide all of the labor for the roof" or it can mean something like "We can help with a bathroom" or even "I can spend a day sheetrocking" or "My boy scouts can help lay sod."

Likewise, free or discounted materials can have a wide meaning.  Let's take floor coverings, for instance.  It can be anything from donating all of the flooring to discounting the flooring to donating or discounting flooring for one room.  People can "sponsor" a room-- helping to pay for materials or labor for that one room.  

People can give a free light switch.

We also need talented people to help stage the home!  We are looking for an interior designer to oversee the project with many interior designers involved.  The committee has a great idea of letting different designers each choose one room and design it, leaving his/her business cards in that room during the parade.   It would be a great way to showcase a design company.

There's also landscaping.  We have a volunteer who has said he will oversee the work, but we could use many people to help with design, labor and materials.

In other words, there are so many ways to be involved.  Or in other other words, we would love your help!  (:  Or in other other other words, for just this minute I am letting go of pride and fear and worry about what you will think and I am flat-out humbly asking if you'd like to be part of this project.   And you can know that when I say that asking for help is not my favorite thing in the world, it is an incredible understatement.

I should mention that we were just made aware that there was a glitch on the Puzzle Them Home site.  When people tried to use the "contact us" form, it didn't work.  We haven't received any messages since the end of September.  So if you have tried to contact us already, PLEASE forgive us and do it again.  It is now working.  (:

So many people have said, "Let me know what I can do."  Well, I guess it is time for us to answer you!  If you have any connections to businesses or laborers who would be interested in this project, this would be a great time to ask!  Everyone who donates will be recognized in the Parade of Homes.  There will be opportunities to showcase your company by handing out business cards, setting up displays, etc.  If you want to come and spend a morning or an afternoon helping with the build of the home, let us know!  If you would like to approach businesses and let them know about this project, we would love it!  If you know of any other ways to help-- don't be shy!  You will carve a place in our hearts that will always be yours.

--Christianne

Easter

This is not how it was supposed to be.

The plan was to be in Ferron right now, going to a wonderful Easter service with my family followed by a nice Easter dinner that I wasn't in charge of.  I would feel "a good tired" from "Eastering" out in the beautiful Utah desert, four-wheeling and rappelling and Easter-egg-hunting and cooking and visiting and basking in this gorgeous Spring weather.  My kids would be lined up in the pew in their new Easter clothes, a little pink from being outdoors and smiling with memories of one of their favorite weekends of the year.

Alas, I am here.  At my own house, at my own computer.  Jer and most of the kids are at church while I am home with Elli, both of us not feeling too great.  The van is in the shop after having problems on the way down to "Easter."  Friday was a day of packing and getting 8 kids ready (Xander went early with Uncle Matthew and Aunt Megan) and four hours of driving only to end up home with lots of tears on precious little faces.  Suitcases strewn about the house, baskets hidden in the yard instead of the beautiful red rocks, messes made here that were supposed to be made there, huge amounts of scotcharoos in our bellies that were supposed to be shared amongst all of the extended family, and no soft sand to dig new plastic shovels into.

Such is life.  

A life that we can have only because of what we celebrate today-- the resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Every day, even the hard ones, is made beautiful through Him.  It is because of Him that we have our wonderful Easter traditions.  An Easter bunny to remind us of the abundance of life that He gave.  Eggs to roll. reminding us of the stone rolling away from the tomb and the new life that it promised.   Eggs to color, reminding us of the beautiful new life we will someday have with our loved ones.  Baskets of sweets to remind us of the sweetness of His gift to us.  FAMILY to love and spend time with.

So even though this was not the plan, I am grateful this Easter Sunday to be sitting here in my home, sick and with a messy house and lots of kids to take care of and with a knowledge of the Redeemer of the world and the event that changed the world over 2,000 years ago.  I love Him. 

Happy Easter, everyone!

Hey, at least I have my Easter weed!  (;

--Christianne

(Xander will get his basket when he comes home from Grandma's, and Elli wasn't up yet when we looked for baskets so I don't have a picture of hers, though she did happen to get the best basket this year!)

Jesi's future boyfriends: take note

Jeremy knows I love flowers and came home the other night with a beautiful Easter lily that hadn't bloomed yet.  It sparked the following conversation the next morning:

Jesi:  (totally sweet innocent voice)  "So what's up with the weed?"

Me:  "What?"

Jesi:  "I said, 'What's up with the weed?'"

Me:  "What are you talking about?"

Jesi:  (exasperated at this point)  "WHY is there a WEED in our KITCHEN?!!!"

 Jes was not amused that we made her take a picture with the offending plant.

Quick update

Graci's appointment went really well.  She saw the head of the department of neurology and he was so nice and very thorough.  The EEG didn't show anything abnormal but he wants to do an MRI next.  His guess was that her seizures could be related to a cerebral abscess that she had when she was 6.  The MRI might give some more clues.  His opinion was that the seizures were not related to her heart condition.  He thinks that there is a better chance than not that she will have another seizure, so there was a question of whether or not to do preventative medication yet, but we decided against it for now.  We were given some medication to treat a seizure should we be in a place that we couldn't get to a hospital quickly and the seizure wouldn't stop on its own.  She's not allowed to take baths or swim without constant adult supervision.  Other than that, she can pretty much carry on normally and we'll await the MRI results.

I felt really great leaving the office.  I had prayed for a doctor that was both kind and thorough and he was just perfect.  He spent a long time just talking to us and was really good with Graci.  He seemed careful and cautious but not overly worried.

Thanks so much for your love and concern for her.  (:

--Christianne

Happy Birthday, Xander!

Today is X-man's birthday.  He's been counting down the days for the last several weeks.  Yesterday I asked him what he was excited for about his birthday and he said with great enthusiasm, "Because Dad's gonna take me to the store and buy some new cool shoes!"  (:  Jeremy knew nothing about that, by the way.  Hmmmm.

Xander has the kindest, sweetest heart.  He usually responds the best of any of the kids when I ask for something-- his answer is almost always, "Sure!"  He loves to take care of people by bringing them blankets, offering massages, making them snacks, etc.  Yesterday Lexi had a friend over.  Xander got out five big tupperware bowls, filled them with snow (old snow-- ick!), added sno cone flavoring, then set the table for a "snow feast."  When I walked in and found them eating it I was a little bit disgusted and a lot humored.  Unfortunately, when I told the friend's mom (mistake) I think she was a little humored and a lot disgusted.  (;   It was so Xander.  He is constantly making big messes that have purpose to him (filling bags with lots of random things from around the house, creating new inventions, etc) and wants "real tools" for his birthday so he can build things.  He is a good friend, a leader, tender-hearted, impulsive, cuddly, handsome, super-duper silly, and very loved.

 

Breakfast in bed choice-- juice, bacon, mangoes, grapes, fried egg sandwich with lots of pepper

Happy 8th birthday, Xander Commander!  We love you!

Speaking of Lexi...

Lexi's been up to all kinds of fun the past few weeks.  

After hearing that both Jer and I were too busy, Parker (aka "sweetest brother in the world") went to work putting together Lexi's tandem bike that Santa brought her this year.  Luckily, it was a few days before all of this snowy weather.  (:  Lexi had a BALL and I'm sure we'll be spending lots of time on the bike this summer!  Jesi made sure that Lexi was wearing plenty of protective gear:

Lex was so excited to go to "The Braille Challenge" this year.  She had no idea what it was-- but told anyone and everyone she met that she would be going!  Though it was a bit over her current level of understanding, I think she enjoyed being with other kids who were blind or visually impaired.  This is her all ready to go:

Several months ago, we applied for a grant from the Deaf and Blind Children's Fund to help subsidize a Victor Reader Stream for Lexi.  We only paid about 1/3 of the cost and they paid the rest-- AWESOME!  This is Leah Voorhees presenting Lexi with her Victor Reader.  Now if we can only figure out how to work it...

Yesterday was the annual Easter Egg Hunt for the visually impaired.  They have beeping eggs that the kids (and adults) find and turn in for candy.  Again, Lexi talked about this event for weeks beforehand and was soooooo excited to go and meet "new blind friends."  After the hunt, we went inside to have lunch.  Lexi said to me, "Mom, I don't really want to sit by you.  I just want to sit by blind friends."  So I had to go up to some strangers and basically say, "Hi.  I don't know you but my daughter is dying to sit by you if that's ok."  As it turns out, they all LOVED Lexi and she did indeed make LOTS of "new blind friends" before we left.  Wonderful people.  I love that girl!

 (I know... I look weird.  But there weren't many pics to choose from)

 And, just because:

FYI, Tomorrow is Graci's EEG.  She's supposed to go to bed after midnight tonight and wake up by 4 a.m. so she'll be nice and tired for the procedure.  Graci of course is totally excited about staying up late and getting up early to watch TV.  (:  We won't know results until Tuesday.

--Christianne

Miss Lexi Li and Little Lexi

This is beautiful Lexi's referral photo:

I am madly in love with my Lexi.  She is an all-around special girl.  

She is just so GOOD.

Everywhere she goes, she reaches her hand out and touches whoever is around her and says, "Hi!  My name is Lexi.  What's your name?"  This often leads to a long conversation and instant friendship.  People LOVE and ADORE this sweet girl.  Her teachers, friends, neighbors, and strangers are drawn to her and her special spirit.  She brings us so much JOY.

This is beautiful Yin's referral photo:

When I read Yin's profile, I immediately thought of my Lexi.  Her personality sounds exactly the same.  In fact, I'm just going to call her "Little Lexi."  And I thought to myself, "This is just TRAGIC!"  Little Lexi is sitting in an orphanage across the world.   So many wonderful, sweet people here are drawn to my Lexi and will even say things like, "Oh, I wish I had a daughter just like her," or "Could I take you home with me?!"  And there is one-year-old Little Lexi, waiting for a family of her own.

PEOPLE!!!!

Are you sure this little girl doesn't have a place in your family?  Oh my goodness, is she ever precious!  You would be working with the most wonderful agency, CCAI, and Little Lexi would have such a good head start by getting home at a much younger age than our Lexi.  She could be reading (braille) on level by the time she gets into kindergarten.  She could have such a bright future.  She could bring SO MUCH JOY into your home.

I'm just sayin'....    (;

--Christianne

Little Lexi's description:

Yin is a very pretty little girl, but she can’t enjoy the color of the world in her life because due to her special need of hypoplasia of the optic nerve, she can’t see anything. She can only use her hearing to experience this world. She has also been diagnosed with patent foramen ovale.

Yin is extremely well-mannered, and when she’s not doing anything, she will always be by herself sitting quietly off to the side listening to the little children run around and making noises often times giving rise to a happy smile. Even though she can’t see things, she can grab onto her own cookies and bread and eat them. Her hearing is very sensitive, especially towards the sounds from a nanny who often takes care of her. Every time she hears the sound of the nanny talking, she will accurately turn her hands and face towards the nanny, hoping the nanny will see her. Her body is quite hale and hearty and now if you use one hand to support her, she can walk forward.

The older she gets, the more she understands. In general, she can understand a few simple words and terms, she can clap her hands in welcome, and she knows parts of her body like hands, feet, tongue, etc. Her personality is getting brighter and brighter and she is learning how to play with other children and horseplay with them. She plays well, she likes every kind of toy and sometimes when she hears a cartoon come on the TV, she will say “n, a” to make a few sentences. It is so cute!

When ye have done it unto the least of these, ye have done it unto Me.

Thank you all so much for the sweet comments and expressions of concern.  I am so sorry I didn't update yesterday-- I know many of you have asked for one.  I went into shut-down mode yesterday and just didn't feel like talking about it.   I guess I still feel that way today, but I know people are worried and I want to at least let you know that Graci is doing great.  She acted pretty much normal yesterday besides being tired and is at school today-- yay!  Unfortunately (and I can't put into words how frustrated I feel about this) her neurology appointment is next Tuesday.  Apparently, they like to worry mothers as long as possible  wait for the effects of the seizures to wear off to get accurate readings on the tests.   Obviously, the tests could show NOTHING and it could be a one time event that we can just chalk up as a good reminder of what's important in life.  Or it could be something bigger.  I am not fond of option two.

So, to change subjects and talk about something that makes me smile, I want to share three of many acts of kindness that recently happened to our family:

1.  As I've talked about in the past, we are the incredibly blessed recipients of "laundry fairies."  One of the sweetest couples I've ever met in my life show up every Tuesday and Friday morning to pick up FOUR loads of laundry.  They even let me just sit it out on my porch so I don't have to be here.   It's returned later that night or the next morning, neatly folded and smelling wonderful.  I feel incredibly sheepish even blogging about this, because I know that I am spoiled rotten and that I don't deserve it any more than any of you reading this.  I wish every busy mother could have laundry fairies in their lives, and you can be assured that I plan on being one someday!  Anyway... this couple exudes kindness and the true love of Christ.  I LOVE them.  So when Lexi and Xander burst into tears and began sobbing uncontrollably when they found out that their grandparents wouldn't be there for "Grandparent Day" at school, this sweet couple came to our minds.  The next time they came over, I timidly asked if they had plans on Friday at 10:30.  As it turns out, they were both working.  When I told them why I was asking, her reply was, "Well, then we'll just have to be there!  I mean... priorities, right?!!"  Even with all of my insistence that it wasn't necessary, they took their precious time to be surrogate grandparents for Lexi, Xander, and Jesi.  The kids were SO happy about this.  It's all they could talk about after school that day.  I had to laugh when Russ told me the next day, "I had so much fun with Xander.  As we were walking down the hall, a lady asked him, 'Is this your grandpa, Xander?' to which he replied, 'No, it's the guy who does our laundry!'"  Her quick reply-- "Even better!"  (:

2.  You all know of Elli's antics in her bed.    As I'm sure we've mentioned, Elli sleeps on what was once the guest bed (before we had so many cute kids) and it is a very nice, expensive, kind-sized mattress.  Because we don't have anywhere else to put the mattress, it has become hers-- lucky girl.  With her lovely habit of taking off her pull-ups and ripping through mattress protectors, it was in need of a good cleaning.  I found someone online who had great reviews and gave him a call.   He told me it would be $100, and after calling around, that seemed reasonable.  When he and his son came here, I explained how the stains got there, which led to questions about Elli and our other kids.  As he cleaned the mattress, I went out to play with Sophi and her friend, Jordan.  When he finished, he came outside to let me know that he was done and he wasn't going to accept payment.  I tried to convince him otherwise, but he had been touched by the kids and their stories and asked me to please allow him to do it for free.  My heart was so full, and I want to share his information in case anyone here in Utah is looking for a very kind man to do their carpet cleaning!   He did a great job-- the mattress looks amazing.  (:

3.  While at the hospital, one of our neighbors came over to check on the kids and ended up spending a good deal of time here.  Anyone that knows me knows that deep cleaning is not my forte.  I am very happy if my house is picked up-- it takes a special occasion to do something like baseboards or dusting ceiling fans.  I have one window that has been particularly neglected.  It is right above the sink and because I rationalize that nobody (meaning company) really ever looks through it, I haven't cleaned it in a VERY (you don't want to know) long time.  Apparently, LuAnn must have noticed this (hmmm... I wonder how....) and decided to clean it.  I mean, she took the whole window out and gave it a good cleaning.  I can actually see out that window now-- I know, amazing concept!  It was just one thing, but it meant a lot to me.  It also taught me that even though we can't do everything for someone, we can do SOMETHING.  She couldn't deep clean my whole house, but doing that one window made me feel super loved.  (:

Again, I could write many more examples-- please know that if you are one of the sweet angels in my life that I do know it and I do treasure you and appreciate you, even though I'm often not great at sending thank-yous or letting you know-- I really am grateful for EVERY act of kindness.   I'm determined to be better at following your examples and blessing the lives of those around me.  (:

--Christianne

Graci update

I'm writing this as a way to respond to the many sweet texts (to Jeremy's phone-- mine is lost--ugh-- so if you're texting me, I'm not getting it--sorry) and messages of concern about Graci.  I figured this would be the easiest way to let you all know what's going on.

At about 2:40 today I received a phone call from Graci's school telling me that Graci was having a seizure and to come immediately.  I was, of course, terrified.  With all of Graci's health problems, she has never had a seizure in our care.  (Her health report from China said that she possibly had a seizure when she was 5 or 6.)  Sophi's friend, Jordan, was over to play, so I threw them both in the van, sped to the Jordan's home, and basically threw the two girls at Jordan's mom.  (Thank you, Sharlie!  I am so glad that I knew I could do that without so much as asking if it was ok.)  When I arrived at the school a few minutes later, there were already firetrucks and an ambulance outside.  I jumped out of the van and went running for the doors.  School had just let out, and apparently word spreads fast because students were yelling at me, "She's in the gym!"

When I arrived, she was lying on the floor surrounded by teachers and paramedics.  She was talking a little bit and responsive, which was so relieving.  I sat next to her and comforted her and answered questions for the paramedics.  Jeremy came a few minutes later, and soon after he arrived, she had another seizure.

For those of you who have ever had to watch your child have a seizure, I am so, so sorry.  It was awful and frankly, the most terrifying thing I've experienced.  She wasn't breathing well during the seizure and the paramedics had so give her some medication through her nose to help her.  Hearing her finally gasp and take a deep breath was the most beautiful sound, but she continued to cough and struggle to breathe easily after that.  As soon as she stopped seizing, they strapped her to a stretcher and hurried her out to the ambulance.  They allowed Jeremy 15 seconds to give her a blessing inside the ambulance before taking off.  I was allowed to ride in front and watch her through a camera while Jeremy drove.  It was the longest 40 minute drive I've ever been on!  I won't share all the thoughts that went through my mind, but I will say that there is nothing like this to help you put life and challenges in perspective and to help you realize how you always want to be treating your children.

Because I am quite wiped out at this point, I will skip to what you really want to hear:  Graci is home.  They don't know what caused the seizures.  She had an EKG and it was normal (for her.)  There is no sign of infection or a stroke.  Cardiologists are doubting that it is related to her heart.  So... the next step is to get some neurological testing done.  Tomorrow we will be getting an appointment for an EEG which will hopefully give us some more information.  For now, we were given the instructions that if she has another seizure to call 911, but to otherwise let her rest and wait and see what neurology says.  So there you go.

Thank you to the wonderful friends who helped with kids and dinner-- we are so thankful.  I loved knowing that I didn't need to worry about what was going on at home.   I'm so grateful to have so many angels in my life.

I'm sure I don't need to ask-- but would you please keep Graci in your prayers this week?

Thanks,

Christianne

Missing a special friend

Jesi's darling best friend moved a few months ago.  While cleaning up the living room today, I found a piece of paper.  It had a darling picture of two girls within a heart and these words:

When Rylie had moved the world seemed different to me.  It's like the world has changed for me.  It's like I'm in a different world.  I feel very sad.  I haven't been having the right feeling so what should I do for now?  I think for this day nothing will get worse because I feel lonely without my friend Rylie.  I feel like when we Skype it's like we are together!!  When that happens I feel the world is very good.

Breaks my heart.

--Christianne

Two Beautiful Girls!

I went to bed last night next to the most beautiful girl in the world.  I woke up this morning next to two of the most beautiful girls in the world. About 5am I felt a little snuggle/kick in my side.  I groggily rolled over and saw Sophi staring up at me.  A big smile lit up her face as she leaned into give me a kiss.  Somehow my grumpiness at being woken up melted away into appreciation for this precious little imp that often tells me how much she loves me and that I am the best daddy.  Ah, parenthood...short on sleep, long on love!

-Jer

Couple of Pictures

The other day Cali and Jesi were gigling.  "What?" I asked.  Jesi explained: "When Cali locks her leg in place and stands up...she's shorter than I am!"  Another fit of laughter from the two girls.

We were driving to Parker's basketball game the other day.  Some of us were really tired...

A Family Home Evening trip to the rec center to go swimming.  This picture shows almost enough towels for our family:

Have a super-fantastic day!

-Jer

Who's on the phone?

Saturday morning I took Taylor to a junior high math competition.  On the way back I was going to go right by Walmart.  I figured I could stop and pick up some items for Sunday dinner.  I've become much more domestic lately.  I cook way more frequently than I used to.  I planned on making cream of broccoli soup (which I did and which turned out to be very well received by the kiddos!).

I called Christi to see if she wanted me to get anything for her while I was at the store.  She answered the home phone and we talked for a few minutes.  She asked if we had been able to find the competition and Taylor's teacher.  I had.  She asked if we were on time.  Early!  (This is a fairly big accomplishment for me.)  I asked how her morning had been.  Had she been able to go back to sleep after we left?  No.  What was the problem?  Sophi and Lexi kept coming in the room and needing this and that, etc.  Anyway, we had been talking for at least five minutes.  I finally came around to the point of my call.  "Do you need me to get anything while I'm at Walmart?"

Instantly this third voice chimes in, very matter-of-factly and without any hint that she might think she's a third wheel in this conversation:  "We could use some fresh rasberries and strawberries for waffles, 'cuz I love waffles.  And maybe you could get some Fruity Pebbles.  Actually, maybe you should get two bags of Fruity Pebbles 'cuz we have such a big family.  Oh, and you know those cookies you get for lunch?  The ones that are chocolate and strawberry and vanilla?  But you've been only getting the vanilla kind lately?  You should get some of the chocolate and strawberry ones 'cuz I really like them, too."

"Thanks, Jess.  Those are great suggestions.  Would you like me to get some cool whip for the waffles?"

"Just a minute, let me check and see if we have any...pause...Um, is sour cream like cool whip?"

"Not at all."

"Then, yes.  You better get some cool whip, too.  Good idea, Dad!"

I love my Jessica!!!

-Jeremy

Elizabeth

Elli.  What goes on in your head when you sing pop songs and church songs and songs I've never heard but that are obviously real songs and songs I've never heard because you just made them up?  What motivates you to go downstairs, play the piano for a few minutes, then come back up and play with three of your rmusical toys at once, pushing the same button rapidly so that you hear the first sound of whatever the toy does over and over and over again?  Why do you suddenly get angry and scream and throw a fit when two seconds before you were sitting silently with your thumbs pressing your eyes?  What makes you ask repeatedly for chocolate and pumpkin bread and juice and treats and fruit snacks and many other types of food (OK, that last one was a dumb question:).  Dear, wonderful Elli, what made you ask, "Dance with Mommy?" yesterday morning?  How happy you made your mother.  You had never asked for this before.  Last year I started dancing with you before you got on the schoolbus, and since then you have often asked to dance with Daddy.  But today, something made you ask for your mom. 

Oh to understand you, sweet Elli.  And to have you understand us.  You had an appointment with a child psychiatrist today.  We set it up a few weeks ago when you were going through an almost unendurable screaming phase.  It was having an impact on all of us at home and on your teachers at school.  We were hoping there might be some medication that would help you settle down, help you feel less agitated.  But now you've settled down on your own.  You're on to a happier phase with lots of giggles and laughs and jumps and bounces.  And so we wondered why we were taking you at all.

Elli, I continue to grow in my ability to love you for who you are.  I still have much to learn, but my own blindness is lessening as I have the blessing of seeing beyond what most people see.  Of seeing beyond what I've seen in the past when looking at people with severe cognitive disabilities.  Of seeing you.  The glimpses are few and often far between.  But they are there.  Times when the distance between us suddenly becomes oh-so-small.  A hug.  A kiss.  A rare comment.  Glimpses that let us know you are in there.  Waiting.  And we continue to wait for you, dear Elli.  And we have faith.  A perfect Father has a perfect plan for you.  One far beyond our comprehension, but nonetheless His perfect will for you.  And you are beautiful.  Beautiful for who you are now.  Because someday when your body and mind work perfectly, you will still be you!  That precious spirit He protected in a body that would never have to deal with temptation or sin.  And I am sure that when we meet the perfect you we will look back and say, "If only we had been less blind, we would have seen more of the real you back then."  The real Elli. 

Christi reminded me tonight of a post I wrote on Elli's blog a couple of years ago.  I had been blessed with a glimpse of an unhindered Elli.  The Lord watches over us.  He loves us.  And He blesses us with moments of perfect sight when we need them most.  And then they pass.  And we continue on in faith until the next moment comes.

So grateful for those moments.

-Jeremy

Good Kids!

We try, on at least a semi-regular basis, to have a family council each Sunday.  This is a meeting that the kids really look forward to.  During family council, each family member can bring up one concern they have or one idea they think would be good for our family.  Usually we just involve the oldest five, and the ideas and thoughts they bring up are very relevant.  We discuss each idea as a family and everyone is welcome to provide input and suggestions.  Everybody's thoughts are treated with respect, even if an idea isn't implemented.  It's a great way to introduce changes into our routines and to really get everyone's buy-in. 

One topic we've been discussing for the last couple of weeks is whether or not to begin a morning family scripture study.  We have always had a brief scripture after our family prayer in the evening, but it is tailored more towards the younger kids.  The morning study would still be short, but it would be more in-depth and hopefully more spiritually nourishing.  It would require us all to get up a little earlier, so there has been some resistance to the idea, but not a lot.  Overall, I've been really impressed by our kids' willingness to do something difficult but rewarding.

Last night at family council we decided to give the early morning routine a try for a week and then discuss how it went.  We all agreed to get up at 6:25 and meet in the living room at 6:30.  Taylor even volunteered to get up at 6:20 and make hot chocolate for everyone.  Before bed Parker said to me, "I really think it will be great to start our day with scriptures.  I'm really looking forward to it." 

WOW!

Let me just say that I was not too enthusiastic about similar morning scripture times when I was a kid.  I'm so grateful for such good kids with such great perspective:)

-Jer

Two Peas in a Pod

Lexi and Soph have a very special relationship.  I think it is at least in part due to their having been adopted together.  I love to see Sophi leading Lexi around the house by grasping Lexi's hand between her chin and her chest.  I love to see Lexi lift Sophi down from her high chair after she's eaten.  They are quite cute.  And they can get into some funny situations.

I'm sitting in my office trying to get some work done.  I hear Lexi and Sophi come downstairs.  They're playing in the other room.  I ask them to come into my office so I can ask them a question.  I hear Sophi start walking in, talking as she comes. 

As she gets close to the door, she suddenly stops and says "But Daddy...I maked!!!"  (That's how she pronounces 'naked'.)

 "Just come in anyway," I say.  Sure enough, she is naked as a jaybird (except for a pearl ankle bracelet?!?).  "Why are you naked?"

"Cuz I went potty."

"Who helped you?"

"Lexi!"

Uh-huh.  Somehow I just don't think this episode lived up to the same sanitary standards I would have tried to incorporate. Guess I'll just be glad that they work together so well.

-Jeremy

PS.  It just occurred to me that perhaps the title of this post should be "Two Pees in a Pod"...  Sorry:)

Ability

I met this young lady's mother at a medical convention recently.  What a great example Lauren is of the tremendous contributions and successes that can be offered by those with disabilities!

See the video HERE.
-Jer

The Woman

Jesi is such a dichotomy.  On the one hand she is still Daddy's little girl.  She loves to be tucked in each night.  She is sweet and innocent.  She can get her feelings hurt at the smallest things.  On the other hand, she is this pre-teen crusader with an agenda she is not afraid to share with anyone.  She tells us what she thinks of rules, seating arrangements, chore assignments and whatever else she wants to express her opinion on.  And her tone of voice lets you know who she thinks the boss is.

One of my favorite ways she takes charge is when she defends Christi.  If she thinks I've done something unfair or unkind to my sweet wife, Jesi lets me know!  Like this:

-"Dad, The Woman needs some rest!  You clean the dishes!"
-"Dad, you don't talk to The Woman like that!"
-"Dad, The Woman said she needs some chocolate!  Go to the store and get some!"

I have the feeling that I better get used to the concept of The Woman, or more appropriately The Women, letting me know where I stand for the next many, many years;)

-Jer

A Solitary Tear

"How are you?"

Asked millions of times a day around the world.

Usually more a greeting than a question.

"How are you?"

I asked with sincere intent on Sunday morning.

Nine kids in a pew and on time to church

makes it hard to focus on anything else, but

there are some things that make you

stop,

forget yourself,

love another.

"How are you?"

Such a dreadfully incompetent question

for one who has just lost her mother.

A beautiful 17-year-old girl,

burdens now far beyond the petty but oh-so-real poignancies of teenage life,

looking after three younger siblings.

Seated directly in front of us.

"How are you?"

"We're doing OK,"

said with a real, if subdued smile.

My heart went out, trying to comprehend their incomprehensible loss.

I focused on them for a few moments, until

"Dad, she won't let me sit where I want to"'s

pulled me back to my world.

My oh-so-challenging

and yet

not,

world.

And my mind forgot their sadness.

Until.

She turned to look at her little sister.

A solitary tear sat halfway down her cheek.

And my heart broke.

Ounce for ounce, has there been a more emotion-filled tear?

Which of the multitude of fears and frustrations

had pushed that one tear

down?

So composed.  So determined.  So strong.

Just one tear.

The opening hymn began

'Come unto Jesus, ye heavy laden

Careworn and fainting, by sin oppressed.

He'll safely guide you unto that haven

Where all who trust him may rest.'

So grateful.

Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It is true.

His love is there.

His love is real.

Nothing can soothe the loss of a mother, a child, a spouse.

Except His love.

I am grateful that this mother, now gone, cared so much about her daughter.

Cared enough to spend a lifetime preparing her for this time.

Helping her come to know Jesus.

To love Jesus.

And to be able to reach out

and feel his loving arms

surround her in this time of

unsurpassed pain.

I pray.

That somewhere in the midst of those emotions,

in spite of pain,

overcoming the agony,

is the light of

hope

in that solitary tear.

-Jeremy