Real Parents

Several days ago I was at a meeting and we were discussing the background of a girl who had been adopted. At one point, the comment was made, "...and then her real mom..." She was of course referring to the biological mother of this girl. The woman who made this comment is the sweetest in the world-- and I knew that she didn't understand how that comment could be hurtful-- so I didn't say anything. But that comment kept going over and over in my mind... "And then her REAL mom..."

Which leads me to writing this post. I know that there are many of you out there that may not be sure what terminology is or isn't appropriate when talking about adoption. And if you have said the wrong thing in the past, be sure to know that most people are very understanding and know your intent. I have had many comments from AMAZING, WONDERFUL people who just didn't know the right thing to say, as I'm sure I have done many times in my life.

So, here are some suggestions:

#1. Never use the term "real" when discussing a birthparent. As Jeremy said it to me well, "If you are not Elli's real mom, then who in the world is?" When referring to a child's birthparents, they should be called just that-- "birthparents." They can also be referred to as biological parents or even first parents. An adoptive parent can be called "adoptive parent," "forever parent," or just "parent!" The term "real" takes away from the very realness of an adoptive family. Now, I can assure you that we hold the birthparents of our adopted children in the absolute highest regard. They are sacred to me, and I will one day fall at their feet for allowing me the joy of raising the children that they weren't able to. I cannot even begin to express my love for them. Yes, they are very "real," but so are the parents who feed and change and love and adore and take care of and cuddle and do everything for these children. Calling one parent "real" makes the other parent "unreal," if that makes sense.

#2. Suggestion #1 also applies when referring to adopted children. It is very uncomfortable when people ask, "Are they your real children?" Well, of course they are! I'm never quite sure how to answer this question without making the asker look or feel stupid. An adoptive child is absolutely just as real as a biological child. To differentiate makes the child seem "less."

#3. Suggestion #1 also applies to siblings. I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked, "Are they real sisters?" This is, of course, in reference to Graci and Elli. I am very aware that what the asker is really wanting to know is if they are biological siblings. So I usually answer, "They are not biological sisters, no." I am always tempted to follow up with, "But they are very real sisters, yes!" I have never done this, however, as I hate uncomfortable situations and I wouldn't want to make someone feel bad. Still, a person should realize that asking if siblings are "REAL" especially in the presence of the children, is not the appropriate thing to do. Graci is Elli's real sibling in every sense of the word-- she loves her and takes care of her and teaches her and adores her and will be her sister forever.

#4. Avoid the question, "Do you have any children of your own?" Well, yes! THESE (adopted) children are my own! A better way to ask this is, "Do you have any biological children?" Again, I know that people have no ill intention when saying something like this, but you have to think of how an adopted child would feel when hearing this question.

#5. If you want to know how much adoption costs, by all means ask-- especially if it's because you are interested in adoption. However, try to avoid posing it this way: "How much did she cost?" HELLO! This makes a child feel as if a price tag could be put on them. The first time I was asked this I was completely speechless. I finally came up with the answer, "Well, adopting from China generally costs around $20,000, but she is priceless!"

#6. When asking more in-depth questions about adoption, try not to do it when the children are listening. For example, Graci seems to feel uncomfortable when the question is asked, "Why didn't you adopt from America?" A better way to ask this would be, "What led you to adopt from China?" But even better, ask it when it is an adult conversation. Most of the time, adopted children just want to feel the same as everyone else and not have the conversation focused around their adoption.

#7. Unless you have a good reason to ask, don't question the background of a child before they were adopted. If you do have reason to ask, do it without the child around. I can't count the times that people have said things like, "How could her parents just abandon her?" and "Does she remember her "real" parents?" right in front of Graci! These are very personal issues, and can make a child question things that they shouldn't have to question. We have been very open with Graci about her life prior to adoption, and she has slowly let us in on her memories and her past. However, she has opened up with a great deal of trust in us. We don't share her early history lightly-- in fact, I have only talked about it with VERY close family. Asking questions like, "Where was she living before you adopted her?" is fine. We would tell you that she was abandoned when she was five, put in an orphanage for a brief time, then placed with very wonderful foster parents, who we lovingly refer to as "China Mommy and Daddy." Unless you are a very good friend or close family member or have really sincere questions about adoption, I would not probe further. If you do probe, don't do it with the child around.

Of course, this is a very humble opinion from just ONE adoptive mother. I assure you that I do know that virtually every comment that could be construed negatively was meant with the best of intention. A person does not usually mean to put their foot in their mouth! (: I would much rather have someone ask a question with the wrong words than not dare ask a question at all, and I am very grateful for those who enjoy talking to me about adoption. (:(:


--Christianne
A very real mother to some very real kids of my own!

Oh, and since I'm on a roll, it is more politically correct to refer to Chinese children as "Chinese" or "Asian," not "Oriental." (Though this actually isn't something that bothers me, just thought I'd put it out there).

PS. This is now Jeremy. My favorite way to differentiate the kids is to say I have three homemade and two from China:)

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Without question, Jessica's favorite food is Cinnamon Toast Crunch. If that's not available, good old-fashioned cinnamon toast is a close second. Yesterday, she was watching a show on TV. A commercial came on and she called Christi in and said, "Mommy, this is so funny!" You can see the commercial here:

As Jesi watched it, she giggled and giggled. It's cute to see your kids grow up enough to figure out humor. And if you ever want to make Jesi's day, get her a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch:)

Jer

Because I said so!

I looked down the hallway and saw Jessica pushing with all her might against the boys' bedroom door, which was shut tight and evidently being obstructed by one of the boys on the inside. "Jesi," I said. "We don't push on doors." "But I want to go in!" "Why do you want to go in?" I asked. "Because I want to give them a love and a kiss." (This is a somewhat standard answer when Jesi is trying to avoid getting in trouble.) "Jesi," I replied, "if someone wants you to stay out of their room, you have to stay out of their room." "NO!" she said. "No is not an option," I replied. "Yes it is a option!" she countered. Knowing that she had no idea the meaning of the word, I asked: "Jesi, what's an option?" Her answer? "No is a option!" Simple logic, no?

How to get your kids out the door on time...

Last night as Parker was going to bed, he asked if he could jump on the trampoline before school. We said that if he could get all ready first, it would be fine. Usually we are rushed getting off to school at 8:10, but this morning Jeremy awoke at 7 a.m. to the sight of Parker jumping on the trampoline. It was just getting light, but there he was-- hair combed, backpack on and everything! We definitely started the day with smiles on our faces-- we love you, Parker!

Brave Woman

Today as we were getting ready for church, Christi called to me from in front of our bathroom mirror. As I walked in she asked, "Are you impressed?" I looked at what she was doing. Amazingly, she was curling Elli's hair! Like with a CURLING IRON! Yes, this is the same Elli that so many of you have met. The Elli who doesn't let you do anything to her or for her unless she is in the perfect mood. The Elli who, pound for pound, is stronger than anyone I know. But there she was, patiently letting Christi curl her ebony tresses. That was a miracle unto itself. And can I just tell you how DARLING my precious daughter was when mama got through with her? (Sadly, we didn't think to take any pictures.)

Elli is truly having miracles occur in her life. She is such a joy to our family. Tonight it was her turn to say family prayer. When she prays, she will either repeat a phrase Christi has whispered in her ear or complete a phrase that Christi begins. Tonight, she not only completed several phrases very clearly, but she also started some new phrases on her own. She is coming along so well. Our friend, Teri, responded to a previous post in a way that puts it perfectly: "Elli has learned that language is useful and that is the BEST indicator for her continued learning of vocabulary (simple naming) and pragmatics (the use of language).Doing the happy dance here in FLA for your darling ELLI!!! She has had her "water" moment (ever seen "The Miracle Worker?" If not, rent it!). :~)" Elli really has learned that language is useful, that's words represent something that she wants to communicate. It is an interesting thing to see this concept unfold in slow motion for a person. Most kids pick up this concept so quickly and utilize it so rapidly that you never notice the process that was required as they were learning how to communicate. With Elli, it's all in slow motion, and we are really appreciating the miracle of communication as we see her progress.

As previously mentioned in this space, our Taylor is the most grateful kid in the world. This morning I spent a couple of hours reviewing his Bear Cub Scout requirements with him. We planned out what he needs to do to receive this award and several arrows prior to his 10th birthday. When we were done, he turned to me and gave me the strongest hug and said: "Thank you Dad, for doing all this stuff with me!" No better reward in the world:)

Jeremy

Trampoline Fun

Santa brought us a trampoline this year and today seemed the perfect day to put it up. It was beautiful outside, so Jeremy had all the kids come out and help him while I did some cleaning inside. It was a big job-- I think it took four hours or so. The kids were all so eager to help and had so much fun. Taylor kept saying, "I'm so proud of us!" At one point, Parker got a little frustrated about something and Jeremy said, "Hey, I got you this trampoline..." to which Parker immediately replied, "No you didn't-- Santa did!" Oops! The trampoline is 14 feet in diameter and has a net-- perfect for our Elli. She LOVED it! All the kids did! It was wonderful to see them so excited about it--they didn't stop smiling all day. (: I am so glad to have something that Elli can play safely on outside without constant supervision. We often call her "Tigger" because she loves to jump and bounce! It will be great for days we're working in the yard or garden and has made me so excited for Spring/Summer!!

Alta! (:

I have a FABULOUS excuse for not blogging yesterday! My wonderful husband surprised me with an overnight date last night!! He arranged for my sister-in-law, Megan, (THANK-YOU, Megan) to watch the kids, and then took me to a nice dinner, hotel, and today-- SKIING!! We haven't been for probably 6-7 years, and it was SO MUCH FUN! We looked EXACTLY like the guy in this picture...

Well, ok-- maybe not that cool. But Jeremy did have me skiing pretty fast (at least for me) by the end of the day. We stayed on blue diamonds (intermediate skiing) and just had the most absolutely perfect time together. There wasn't a cloud in the sky-- it was breathtaking. I am in awe of the beauty of our Utah mountains. The picture above was taken at Alta, where we were skiing. We are so blessed to live in such a magnificent place.

I will admit that my legs are currently the consistency of jello. I doubt I'll be able to get out of bed tomorrow, but hey-- it was worth it. Thank-you, Jer! Thank-you, Megan and Matthew!!!!

He's given us Disneyland...

I’m finally getting around to journaling about our fabulous DISNEYLAND trip! Several weeks ago, Jeremy won a contest at work that gave him a $1,500 travel card!! He had some time off work, so we decided to surprise the kids with a drive down to Disney. I should mention that when Graci was still in China, we sent her some pictures of our family at Disneyworld. Apparently, she thought that was a common event in our family, and the day we met her she promptly told the guide, “Tell them I want to go to Disneyland and McDonalds.” (: We explained that Disneyland was very expensive and that it would be awhile (not to mention that she needed her heart fixed first). She hasn’t been too happy with us regarding the matter, so you can imagine her joy when we packed up the van, checked them out of school early, and announced that we were on our way to Disneyland! Such precious memories. We had three full days at Disney and Disney’s California Adventure. The weather was perfect! We had been worried about how Elli would do with all of the driving and disruption of schedule, but she was WONDERFUL! She was so happy and loved all the rides. And, thanks to her, we were able to bypass many of the long lines. Because she is blind (and essentially autistic) they let us use the fastpass lane for every ride and count her stroller as a wheelchair. Thank-you, Elli! Because of this we were able to do in three days what we might have done in five. She LOVED most of the rides—especially the big rollercoasters. Our family’s favorite ride was “Soarin’.” We went on it several times and it was so fun to see Elli get so excited and giggle each time. She even braved “The Tower of Terror” and was totally laughing on it. Fun, fun times. I think one of the cutest moments came when Jesi asked to go on "Little Word" again. (: The highlight of the trip for Graci was on Friday, where Dad had lined up a special surprise just for her. He surprised her by taking her on a “Daddy date” to eat breakfast with—you guessed it—Stitch! She’s still talking about it!

My favorite part of the entire trip was how grateful our Taylor was. Probably at least five or six times a day he would come up to me and give me a hug or hold my hand and say, “Thanks, Mom. You are the best EVER!” He was so sweet and so patient and wonderful, even when we were doing things for the younger kids. The other kids were very good too, but Taylor was just particularly grateful. Later on, I was telling my sister, Becky, about how one of our other darling children had a few complaining moments and I was just like, “Come on!!!! You are at DISNEYLAND!! Do you even get how blessed you are?” As I told her this, she responded with a very wise thought. She said, “I wonder if that’s how Heavenly Father feels about us sometimes. He gives us so much and we focus on the negative.” I have thought so much about that since then. Truly, our Father in Heaven has given us Disneyland! I mean, really—our life is Disneyland! We have the gospel of Jesus Christ, we have a beautiful home, we have enough money to pay the bills and some left over for fun family things, we have absolutely incredible children, we have freedom—we have so very much! He has given us the time of our lives, and it’s so easy to complain about not going on the ride we wanted, or that our feet hurt, or that we want another churro and it costs too much. I’m not sure if I’m explaining well what I mean, but I guess what it comes down to is that I have been reminded what a blessed life I lead. And that my Father would probably like to know that I appreciate it. That He won’t tire of hearing it many times a day. Thank-you, our darling first-born, for your sweet example and reminder of how we should be.

On another note, that same sweet boy sure caused us some grief on the drive home! (: It was very late, maybe one in the morning, and we still had over an hour to go. Jessica had just made a big mess that we had to pull over and take care of. As soon as we got back on the road, Taylor woke up crying and saying that his head was hurting. We gave him some Ibuprofen, but he was still upset. Then we heard the most horrible sound… You guessed it—he had thrown up, EVERYWHERE. I mean, he was covered in it, the van was covered, the leapsters and toys and games on the floor were covered. It was indescribable. Should I mention that Taylor had just had a Subway sandwich with extra pickles? I looked over at Jeremy and could tell he was “that close” to losing it. There would be no help from him. So we pulled over and I got out of the van to see what I could do. It was freezing cold outside and we didn’t have our coats, we’re on the side of the freeway entrance, and I’m thinking, “Where do I even start?” I finally had him take off his clothes and just put a blanket over the whole mess so I could deal with it later. He handed me an empty box of Cap’n Crunch that had throw-up on it. I asked Jeremy just what I was supposed to do with it, and we decided we would have to drive and find a garbage. I was trying to be good by not just leaving it on the side of the road. My reward for not littering? As I held it in my lap, I soon realized that there was throw-up INSIDE the box, and it was leaking all over my pants. I wanted to scream—in fact, I probably did. It was all such a nightmare—we were so tired and the van smelled so awful and it felt like we would never make it home! In fact, I think by the time I cleaned everything up that night and crawled into my bed, it was past four a.m. Fun, fun. Still, I smile thinking of it and it was a small price to pay for such an amazing trip. (And it didn’t hold a candle to what we had to deal with from Elli later that week, but that’s a different story…) (: (: (:

--Christianne

As a kid I couldn't read enough. I LOVED books (still do). It is a very satisfying thing to see my two boys become avid readers at their young ages. Taylor is an absolutely voracious reader. A year ago, I bought him a set of about 8 books by Roald Dahl (of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fame). He read all of them in two days! He's since reread most of them a couple of times. He's read Trumpet of the Swan probably four times. He just loves to read. Parker doesn't love books on the level Taylor does, but he is still way more into reading than most kids his age. One of my favorite things is when either of them delve into and enjoy a book that was a favorite of mine when I was a kid.

A couple days ago, I introduced Taylor to a series of books by an author named Gordon Korman. They are light, humorous books about a couple of boys attending a boarding school in Canada. As a kid, I thought they were the funniest books ever. Taylor apparently agrees. In two days he has read a couple hundred pages. Usually in the morning, he is the last kid up. He enjoys his beauty rest. But this morning, he got up early enough to get all ready for school and set the table by 7:30AM so he could read more of these books. I love it:)

Another set of books I enjoyed as a kid was a huge collection called "Best in Children's Stories." Each book has several stories in it, ranging from historical accounts of the pilgrims on the Mayflower to poetry to Puss in Boots. I had these in a box downstairs until this weekend. Parker has started reading them and is loving it. The shorter stories are more in line with what he likes as a reader. But it really is fun to see both boys following in dad's footsteps in a good way like this.

Saturday, we started putting up some shelves in the boys' room. The first thing we did was move the bunk bed so we could have access to the wall behind it. (The shelves were going to be up high to display trophies, etc. Well, to make a long story short, we didn't get any of the shelves up on Saturday, but we did buy and assemble a new bunk bed! (We knew we would need one that was "twin over full" when Chu Chu arrives, and we had already taken the old one somewhat apart to move it away from the wall, and why go to the trouble of re-assembling it when we would have to change it out within three months, etc.) So now the boys have a new, cool bunk bed that they love. Maybe we'll do the shelves this weekend...

Jeremy

Dummy daddy

So I must admit it is totally my fault that yesterday's post did not occur. I was working on the computer at about 9:30 when Christi came in and said she was exhausted and had to blog right then. I was in the middle of a tax project and wanted to stay focused, so I promised her that I would post an entry before I went to bed. Well, as you all know, that didn't exactly happen. I totally spaced it. Nice job, Jer. But we are both going to post today, so we'll still average one post a day:)

What to write about? I don't know. Life is just so crazy these days. Today we got our dossier off. It is now up to our agency to translate it into Chinese and send it to China. That will be followed by 2-3 months of waiting for China to give us permission to to get him. We're very excited.

The other night Christi and I watched the 1950 version of Father of the Bride. I must admit that as a dad with three daughters, it made me a little nervous. Hopefully the economy has a substantial recovery in the next 10-15 years!!! It's really fun to the relationship between Graci and the other kids continue to blossom and grow. They are becoming very close. It's fun to hear them all giggling as they play some game downstairs or run around and chase each other.

This evening I went to Jesi's dance class and watched the last 20 minutes. Talk about precious. She is so darling. She's a couple of steps behind everyone else, but seems oblivious to the fact. When she noticed I was there, she kept turning around and waving at me with a huge grin on her face. And that, my friends, was worth whatever trousseau I may have to provide some day!

Jeremy

Out of the mouth of Jesi

(By the way, I've been posting more on Elli's site: miraclesforelli.blogspot.com)

After reminding Jesi for the third or fourth time to do her chores:

"Mom, we had a police officer come to our school."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes, and he told us that we should always have a buddy."

"Mmmm Hmmm."

"So I need a buddy to clean my dress-ups with me!"

(:(:(:(:


"Mommies and Daddies are different."

"Yes, they are different. What's different about them?"

"Well, like Daddies go to work and work on their computer."

"Mmmm Hmmm. And what do Mommies do?"

long pause

"Mommies wear bras and put make-up on."

(:(:(:(:

After having been nicely asked to be quiet SEVERAL times by Jeremy (we were trying to have the kids sleep on a road trip), he finally sternly said, "JESSICA! STOP TALKING!"

A few minutes of silence and then in a beautiful, sweet SINGING voice:

"It's my choice! I can make my own choices!"

(:(:(:(:

A little help...

Hi Everyone:

If you have a few minutes, could you go this link: survey and take this survey.   It's regarding a toy we will soon be selling.

Thanks,

Jeremy

I'm not tired!

Yesterday Jesi and Christi went shopping. They had to drive about 20 minutes to the store. They had just started on their way when Jesi let out a huge YYYYYAAAAWWWWWNNNN. Christi said: "Jesi, why don't you close your eyes and take a little nap." "But I'm not tired, mommy," Jess replied. Christi said: "Yes you are. You just went YYYYAAAAWWWWNNNN." "Oh," said Jesi. "That means...YYYYAAAAAIIII WANT A FROSTY!" Where does she get it?

Jesi loves...

The kids have some very simple chore charts that they are supposed to check off on a daily basis. The more chores they complete each week, the higher their allowance is that week. Last night I was going over the charts with the kids and seeing how much they had earned. I had each child come in individually with the containers they have for their money (spending, savings, college fund, etc.). As I went over this with Jesi, she was sitting in my lap. We were all done and had just shut her spending money box. Jesi's back was to my tummy, and she said, in a particularly sweet voice, "I love you so much!" Feeling the rewards of spending quality time with my kids, I responded, "Thank you, Jess." Her reply? "I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to my money!" Well, at least I know where I stand:)

Lay-offs, Lay-ups and Leg Pains

WARNING: An excessively proud father wrote this entry. I figure it’s my blog, and you’re under no obligation to read it, so I can write what I want. But consider yourself warned! :)


Good morning! It’s 3:16 AM and I can’t sleep, so I figured I’d get up and do something useful. Sorry it’s been so long since I posted an entry. Life is definitely busy, but that’s really no excuse. Keeping up with this journal of our lives needs to be more of a priority. So why can’t I sleep? I figure it’s at least partially due to my 2:00 pm phone call this coming Friday. Some of you have undoubtedly read about my company, Pfizer, in the news this week. We have announced the acquisition of another large drug company, and the supposedly unrelated layoffs of several thousand of our people. That will translate to about 30% of the sales reps here in Utah. So I get to call in to my boss at 2:00 pm on Friday to find out if I’m still employed. A little scary! Due to the generous severance package, it won’t be an immediate emergency situation if I get laid-off, but we’re sure praying that I still have a job come next Monday. (Your prayers in this regard would be much appreciated. :)

So, like many of you out there, we are facing uncertain times. It sure is wonderful in times like these to have a firm foundation of faith and family. And what a great family we have! The other day, I was driving Jesi to school and we had the following conversation: (By the way, I wish each of you could have the chance to drive Jesi to school just once. The talks on the way there and her cute little “good-bye”s and “I love you”s are something everyone should experience in their life.) “Daddy,” she said. “Who’s the huffest tuffest family?” “Our family is the huffest tuffest family, Jess!” I replied. “Daddy,” who’s the greatest family in the world?” “Our family is, Jess.” “No, Daddy. Our family AND Grandma Nelson’s family is the greatest family in the world!” “You’re right, Jess. Our family and Grandma Nelson’s family is the greatest family in the world. But what about Grandma Rose’s family?” (Dad had to put a plug in for his side! :) “Oh yeah,” she replied. “Our family and Grandma Nelson’s family and Grandma Rose’s family is the greatest family in the world.” And that was that. (You can all vie for fourth place. :) By the way, in case you’ve wondered, Grandma Rose and Grandma Green are the same person. Her name is Rosemary Green, and a few years ago she decided she preferred being called Grandma Rose to Grandma Green. I think it makes her feel younger. It can be a slightly confusing nomenclature, however. Sometimes the kids will refer to “Grandma and Grandpa Rose, I mean Grandma and Grandpa Green, I mean Grandma Rose and Grandpa Green.”)

I was a klutz growing up. At least until high school. Prior to that, I played one year of little league baseball and one year of little league soccer. My parents were extremely supportive in hundreds of ways, but sports just wasn’t their thing. (My dad recently heard us talking about college football and had no idea what the BCS was. :) Anyway, all through grade school I was one of the last kids picked for every athletic game we played in PE or at recess. I was usually the slowest guy in a foot race and was generally a geek. (The “Tough Skins” brand of jeans I wore didn’t help my social status any!) My freshman year in high school, I did make the basketball team-they kept everyone at that level. I scored 3 points all season. To be fair to myself, I did go on to a fairly illustrious career in our reasonably competitive church basketball league, that being my favorite sport to play, and the only one I was any good at.

So it was pretty intimidating to marry into Christi’s family. Her dad was seriously the starting quarterback, pitcher, and star-basketball player in high school. I believe he was All-State in all three sports and All-American in basketball. (Although he played before the 3-point era, he held the high school single-game scoring record at Emery High School for years. It even stood through Shawn Bradley’s tenure there.) He played college ball, as did one of Christi’s brothers. Both of her brothers, her brother-in-law, her dad, (and even her grandpa!) were several inches taller than me. Her brother-in-law played on a high school team that won back-to-back state championships in basketball (it didn’t hurt that Shawn Bradley was the center on that team!) and then turned down a basketball scholarship at a D-I school to run track at BYU. I kind of felt like I had a neon sign on my forehead that read: “SPORTS LOSER! SPORTS LOSER!”

But, Christi’s athletic gene pool has paid off! My boys have been star athletes from the first game they played. (Well, there was some luck involved at first. Taylor hit a home run in his very first T-ball game. When he swung at the ball, it dribbled about 10 feet off the “T” and that was followed by about 17 fielding errors which allowed him to advance all the way home. But he was sure excited, as was Dad! :) Since then, each season in both basketball and baseball has produced stellar moments for both boys. The next few seasons, both boys played pitcher in T-ball. This is the premier fielding position, since at that age, most of the kids can’t hit the ball much farther than the pitcher’s mound. We have video of some innings where Taylor scored all three outs. Parker was just as good. Taylor was such a strong hitter that our coach would warn the other team’s coach to move his boys back so they didn’t get hurt fielding Taylor’s ball. Last year in baseball, Taylor was a gold-glove 1st baseman. He had several SportsCenter-worthy plays, including a couple where he pretty much had to do the splits to catch a throw from a teammate while keeping his foot on the bag. Parker was probably the MVP of his league. The other kids on his team argued over who was second-best. It was a given that Parker was the best. He hit several legitimate home runs and it seemed like he was everywhere on the field. During one game, our exasperated assistant coach yelled at our team while they were out in the field: “Guys, pay attention! Parker can’t do EVERYTHING!” That team took first place in the league. :)

Both boys are also great at basketball. Taylor really excels here. His combination of height and skill makes him tough to stop on offense and a great rebounder and defender. Parker has really improved his basketball game this year. He’s a great dribbler, which is unusual at his age. When he gets the ball at one end of the court, it almost looks like there are no defenders as he dribbles down to the other end and takes a shot. (He could use some work on MAKING a higher percentage of the shots, but he does hit quite a few and is also a good passer.) So unlike me at their age, they have experienced much success in athletics. I keep wondering when their string of stand-out moments will end, but so far so good.

This last Saturday was the best day yet. Grandma and Grandpa Nelson had come up to watch the boys in their basketball games. These are probably the only games they will see this season. Taylor’s was first. Wow! I’ve never been involved in a more exciting game as a player or as a coach. (I coach Taylor this year.) At halftime we were down by seven points, and going into the 4th quarter, we were still down by six. Six points is an almost insurmountable lead in this league, where final scores are often in the teens. So I was not too keen on our chances to pull this game out. Nevertheless, I sent the boys out on the floor telling them to do their best and give all their effort. About mid-way through the quarter it was still 16-10. Then Taylor scored to make it 16-12. With two minutes left, we could start to full-court press. I was getting rather into it at this point, directing the boys to go for steals and to make it tough for the other team to inbound the ball. With about a minute left, Colton Bailey scored, making it 16-14. There was a real possibility now. But over the final minute, we just couldn’t get the ball in the basket. With 1 second left on the clock, we were awarded the ball out of bounds on the side of the court by our basket. The score was still 16-14. (There is no overtime in our league, so at that point we were just playing for the tie.) We called a timeout, and Coach Matt (Christi’s brother) drew up a play. Taylor, our tallest player, was to flash towards Tanner, who was inbounding the ball. Tanner needed to pass it to Taylor, who had to immediately turn around and shoot. It was a good plan. Taylor has spent hours in the driveway practicing his shot, and often practicing quick shots. Well, Tanner made a perfect pass to Taylor, who was several feet from the basket. Taylor turned around…and shot it perfectly. Nothing but net! The crowd went as wild as a 3rd-grade league crowd can go. I was jumping up and down with my hands in the air. The whole team was so excited. And what a moment for Taylor. He’ll remember that for the rest of his life.

We immediately drove to another school for Parker’s game. They don’t keep score in his league, so Taylor always does in his head. Parker had another great game, scoring and stealing several times. As the game progressed, Taylor kept updating us on the score. The other team was a lot bigger than our team this week, and they were ahead most of the game. As it got close to the end, Taylor looked over at me and said it was 14-14. Nobody scored for a little while. It got down to about 5 seconds left and the other team had the ball on their end of the court. At that point, Parker stole the ball, drove the length of the court, and layed it in, with, you guessed it, about 1 second left. Since there was no official score being kept, the crowd reaction was minimal here, but wow! What a day for my boys. Both of them hit game-winning or game-tying shots with one second to go. And on the one day Grandma and Grandpa were there no less. I know it’s been hard to tell as you’ve been reading this, but I was a pretty proud papa. :) My father-in-law later commented that I was a good coach. I told him I knew boys better than I knew basketball, but I think that’s what matters most at this age. I absolutely love working with kids.

So this morning at 3:00 AM (about two hours ago now) Taylor came in almost in tears and woke me up with the not-uncommon complaint: “Dad, I have a leg ache.” As I gave him some ibuprofen, I commented: “Ah, the price you pay for being a basketball star. Part of the reason you have these leg pains at night is because you’re growing so fast and so tall.”

So here are we are full circle. I couldn’t fall back to sleep, and now you know what woke me up. Taylor went back to bed, and instead of crawling into my own bed, I went in and laid by him until he dozed off. He still likes that kind of stuff. He’ll give me hugs and kisses and hold my hand. It will be a difficult day for me when he outgrows that. I sure love those little guys.

Jeremy

Thanks!

By the way, thanks for all your ideas on the header. All the ideas were helpful, but I am taking the easy route and letting Danyale do it for me! Thanks, Danyale!

Room at the Inn

This post has been weighing on my mind for some time. I have had many questions about our newest little guy—and have put off answering them until I could find the right time to sit down and really take awhile. Many of you have asked to hear his story—how we found him, if he had any special needs, etc. It’s one of those things that only a real writer could find the right words for—and something that would take really opening up one’s heart to whoever may be reading this. I’m not a writer, and it’s hard for me to just open up and be vulnerable, but I do feel the need to share the story of how this special child of God found his way into our hearts.

Even before we went to get Graci, Jeremy and I found ourselves feeling that there was another little spirit waiting to come to our home. At the time, we thought that maybe I was supposed to get pregnant. After a lot of discussion and prayer, I visited with a high-risk specialist, who basically told me a lot of things I didn’t want to hear. Besides having an extremely high chance of another stillbirth, my own life seemed to be at risk if I was to become pregnant. So we basically put things on hold until we could really feel comfortable with a decision. It was something that was always on our hearts, but we just weren’t sure how to proceed.

Well, in September I was sitting here at the computer and found myself typing in the website address to the adoption agency we used for Elli’s adoption. When I say “found myself,” I mean that, exactly. This was not something that I thought out in my head—I literally just typed in the address without thinking at all. Adoption had not been a topic of conversation with us for some time. I immediately went to the view the profiles of waiting children. As soon as their faces popped up, the Spirit settled over me in a very compelling way. I have looked at lists before, and of course my mother-heart always feels for the children—but this was different. I knew immediately that we were to adopt again. This made no sense at all, as we were barely keeping our heads above water with the five children we already had. But there was no way to deny what was put in my heart—my whole body felt on fire with what we were supposed to do. So I picked up the phone and called my very unsuspecting, overwhelmed, overworked husband and said, “Hi, honey—um… I think we’re supposed to adopt again. Now.” And he said what only a man of God—a true disciple of Christ and a doer of the word would be able to say – “Wow. OK— why don’t you go ahead and request information on the kids you are drawn to.”

I am crying as I write this, because looking back—it really was a miracle that he could respond this way. Jeremy at the time was overwhelmed with some very big trials in his life—and to put something like this on him was just crazy, to say the least.

We picked three little children that we wanted some more information on, and I proceeded to write CCAI requesting their files and telling them that yes, we knew we were out of our minds. I was so grateful for their wonderful, excited, supportive reply. To have someone place confidence in us helped me to realize that maybe this was something we could do after all. They told us that two of the children already had families looking at their files, but sent information on the third. She was a sweet little girl—and my heart felt for her in every way—but she wasn’t ours. I just knew—I don’t know how else to say it.

The next day I logged in to the same website to find that one little boy had been added to the list. His name was Dang Xu Chu, (pronounced dong shoe choo,) and he was darling. Could this be our boy? (:

We requested his file and reviewed all of his information. The peace in my heart was so amazing, and Jeremy felt it as well. We asked for time to have doctors review his profile—and we were given a week. Oh, and did I mention that this was the week of Graci’s open-heart surgery? Um, just a little overwhelming? Well, I guess the Lord thought so too—we got a call that the surgeon was sick—and surgery was postponed until the following week. (:

I brought little Chu Chu’s file to our pediatrician, Dr. Daynes. I have to insert here that I felt VERY STUPID even asking him to look at a file for us. I almost felt embarrassed, and even apologetic to bring up that we were considering adopting again. Dr. Daynes knows our family well. He knows about Graci’s heart, and Elli’s blindness and how loud she can scream! I was just sure that he would think us out of our minds. We were in the office for shots or something (we practically live at that office) and I casually mentioned that we were thinking about adopting again. He looked up from his computer, rolled his chair closer to mine and looked me right in the eyes. He told me that he thought it was wonderful, and that if anyone could do it—we could, and that the Lord would provide the way. I was stunned and emotional and happy and humbled. I had thought for sure that everyone would just balk at the idea—and his faith in the Lord made me realize that I needed to have more faith as well.

Chu Chu’s special need was listed as “fibroma of the leg and buttocks, missing and malformed toes.” Dr. Daynes looked at his pictures and reviewed his medicals. He told us that we should try to get some information from Shriner’s hospital. The problem was getting an appointment there. We had a timeline, and he said that Shriner’s was the one place that was almost impossible to communicate with. He suggested that Jeremy take his file up there in person and pray that someone would open their hearts enough to pass it on to a doctor.

The following day, Jeremy walked into Shriner’s. As he was explaining the situation to the front desk, a doctor just “happened” to walk by who just “happened” to let him in her office and just “happened” to spend 20 minutes reviewing his file then and there. She explained that Chu Chu could have one of two things, and we are leaning way towards the one called Klippel-Trenaunay-Weber syndrome (KTWS). It is most often defined by the presence of three classic characteristics: vascular abnormalities, prominent varicose veins or darkened skin patches, and limb enlargement. Chu Chu is a textbook example, and we are pretty confident that this is what he has. Talking to the doctor made us realize that it was something a little more serious than we thought (doesn’t look like surgery will be an option), but it also helped us to feel informed enough to make a decision.

As I have researched KTWS, I have found that it is extremely rare. Most websites just say “very rare” but one said “1 in 80,000” and another article claimed there are less than a thousand cases in the world. Bottom line: this is not something most people have even heard of. So you can imagine how we felt when my little sister called to tell me that her baby boy had just been diagnosed with the same thing. I guess if we are going to go through a trial like this, the Lord is blessing us by letting us go through it together.

Back to the adoption decision… I should mention here that of course our kids were involved. Early on, we casually showed them pictures of this little guy and his condition—not saying that we were considering adopting him—more like, “come look at this little boy’s leg—it’s kind of different!” Parker looked at the pictures and immediately said, “Are you thinking about adopting him?” I asked why, and he said, “Well, cause I think I want to adopt him.” Taylor, however, was TOTALLY against the idea. He was very interested in the pictures of his fibromas, and he thought he was sweet, but he did NOT want to have more kids in our family. I think his exact quote was, “Our family is just too crazy already!” (: I told Taylor that there was no way we would adopt unless everyone felt it was right and kind of let it go. We talked about it a couple of times, just casually, and he wasn’t budging on how he felt.

The day before we had to give CCAI our answer, I had a little talk with the Lord. I told him that I knew we were supposed to go forward with it, and that we would. I then told Him that it would sure be a lot easier if a few things happened. ☺ See, I don’t consider that exactly “bargaining.” ☺ I told Him we would do it either way—but I did tell Him the desires of my heart! The first was that Taylor would find his answer BEFORE we had to tell CCAI. I had already promised Taylor that we wouldn’t do it unless we were all on board. I didn’t want to go back on that, and I felt it was so important for Taylor to find the answer on his own, and not feel talked into it. (For the record, I won’t tell you the rest of my "list", but if you find us moving into a bigger house in the next couple of years, well...)

That night we knelt in a circle for family prayer. I hadn’t discussed with Taylor that we had to give our answer the next day. I don’t remember who said the prayer, but I do remember that Dang Xu Chu was not prayed about. As soon as the amens were said, Taylor looked over at me with the sweetest, most serene smile on his face and said, “I’ve changed my mind.” My heart really started to race, and I said, “about what, honey?”

His reply—“I know we’re supposed to adopt that little boy--- and I feel so happy about it.” I gave him a hug and asked him when he knew, and he said, “I don’t know—just now, I guess. During the prayer.” He followed me around all night, just basking in the sweetness of the moment, and couldn’t stop smiling. He has been on board ever since and is probably the most excited about the whole thing. Yes, God answers prayers.

I, on the other hand, began to panic. On Friday morning, I wrote an e-mail saying that we wanted to proceed, but I could not press send. I started having second thoughts. I wondered how in the world we could manage, and how we would provide for all his needs, and most of all—how it would affect our kids. I went into a full-blown panic—and just felt terrified of the whole thing. I called my friend, Heather, who was going through her own adoption, and she said some words that I so needed to hear. She reminded me of the things I had said to reassure her when they were making their decision, and I started to feel better. Still, I couldn’t send that e-mail. Then Jeremy came home from work. I thought that if I told him I was scared, he would probably have second thoughts too, but he just kind of laughed at me and said, “Oh, just push send. You know it’s right.” I finally did, and the second I did was filled again with peace. Though I have at times been overwhelmed with the whole thing since (remember my post while in the hospital with Graci, about having a big family) that underlying peace has always stayed with me.

I know.

I know that He will provide a way.

I know that somehow, our kids will be blessed for the sacrifices they will make—and I know that there will be sacrifices.

I know that this sweet little boy is a child of a very loving, powerful Father in Heaven who wants him to have a home with as much love as we have.

I know that the Lord has this amazing way of stretching our hearts to fit one more—and in doing so gives us an increased capacity to love. That the love we have for others does not lessen when we bring another into our lives—but deepens and becomes more perfect.

I know that little Dang Xu Chu is ours. And I am SO grateful.

The first day that I saw his picture, I opened up my scriptures. I love to do this—to have something on my mind and open up the scriptures randomly and see what the Lord has to say to me. That day, I opened them up to this exact verse:

“The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor, he hath sent me to heal the broken-hearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.” --Luke 4:18

That scripture spoke to me with such force. I will not post pictures here, but Chu Chu has a very large port wine stain on his hip, and what looks like bruising because of his vascular disorder. I felt like this scripture was reassuring me that Graci (broken-hearted), Elli (blind), and Chu Chu (bruised) were indeed all mine, and that the Lord would in time heal each of them.

To those of you who have offered words of excitement and encouragement, thank-you. It means so much to us to have the support of those we love. We can’t wait to introduce you to our new son and appreciate beyond words the love you will give him. We couldn’t do this without such amazing family and friends.


--Christianne


P.S. Yesterday I received an e-mail with lots of new pictures. ☺☺☺☺☺ I am including some of them here. We don’t want to post pictures of his bottom, but you can see his legs and feet. These pictures were taken when a group of doctors went to China on a mission trip. They fitted him with compression stockings to help with any pain he has. He is in a wheelchair because it’s a bit easier for him, but he does walk, can get up and down stairs, and even jumps on a trampoline. The hope is that the physical therapy he will get here will really increase his mobility.

Help!

I'm trying to put a family picture on our header, but I can't seem to move the words toward the bottom-- so as not to cover faces! Anyone know how to help me on this?

P.S. Yes, we consider Stitch a part of our family. (:

Christmas part 1

There is no way for me to catch up on everything that's happened over the past month-- but I do want to at least post a bit about Christmas. It was perfect!!! On Christmas Eve we did our usual traditions-- acting out the nativity, listening to "A Christmas Carol," and opening "grand bags." The grand bag tradition started with Jer's dad, who every year would fill up a paper bag for each child with goodies and small gifts. When the kids were little and we shared Christmas day with the Jer's family, his dad would do a grab bag for us and each of our kids. Though in his family they are called "grab bags," our kids heard them as "grand bags" (because they were put together by grandpa) and the name has stuck. Now Jeremy puts together the grand bags and the kids LOVE LOVE LOVE them!

We also started what I hope becomes another Christmas Eve tradition-- we packed up the kids and drove to Thanksgiving Point to see their light display. I had been so busy all day that I didn't have time to put my Christmas Eve dinner together, so we stopped for Arby's. I think the kids were way more excited for Arby's than for my ham dinner, so I'm thinking that maybe we'll make that an annual thing-- so much less work for me! (: The lights were beautiful! You pay to go through, and you drive slowly through all kinds of fun displays with Christmas music playing. At one point, Graci asked, "Where's baby Jesus?" We had seen Christmas villages, Santa's workshop, animals, skiiers-- all kinds of stuff, but no nativity. Jeremy assured Graci that there would be a baby Jesus somewhere, but then we seemed to come to an end. There was a giant Santa waving goodbye and I can't even tell you how disappointed I felt! I was so sad that they had done such an elaborate Christmas display, yet missed the most important thing. BUT... I was wrong! We thought we were done, but then started driving through the most beautiful display ever. There were huge paintings-- ones I had never seen-- of each part of the nativity. Each picture was lit up and had a portion of the song "Were you there?" printed nearby. It was beautiful. I was choked up the whole way--- so grateful that Christ was remembered and that they had done such a beautiful job depicting his birth.

Christmas was a winter wonderland here-- we had a huge snowstorm here that made everything gloriously white and beautiful. It was so nice to be in our cozy home with our kids and lots of fun presents! The kids always sleep in the same room on Christmas Eve, and then they have to come in our room on Christmas morning so we can walk out to see the presents together. Before we look at presents, we all hold hands and sing "Silent Night" so we can try to focus our thoughts on what the presents are all about. Santa was good to us this year-- he brought a trampoline!!!! The kids were VERY excited-- and I'm very excited too! I think it will be so good for Elli, who LOVES to jump! It has a net, so it should be safe for her. I can't wait until Spring comes and we can get it set up!

There was one thing thing that made the presents particularly special this year. The kids have always bought gifts for each other-- usually at the dollar store so they can spend their own money. Well, last year we found that they really had particular presents in mind to buy each other-- and none of them were found at the dollar store! This year, we sat them down in October and made them a deal. We basically doubled the allowance they could earn up until Christmas, for the purpose of buying gifts for each other. They worked SO HARD in order to earn their extra money. Every day they cleaned their room, read their scriptures, did their homework, did a chore, practiced music, exercised and read for 20 minutes with hardly any reminding and NO complaining! I was amazed. During the month of December, I took each one out on a Mommy Date. We Christmas shopped for everyone in their family and they had SO MUCH FUN spending their hard earned money. I think each one spent about $80.00 buying for their siblings and parents-- and they put so much thought into each gift. I've never seen a Christmas so full of hugs as this one!!! I really think that they were more excited to give their presents than to receive. It was really neat. I know they didn't need to spend so much money to have it be so special-- but to them, the money represented time and love-- and it really seemed to bring them closer to each other.

The week following Christmas was spent at my parent's-- and it was wonderful! That will be part 2-- hopefully I'll get that done soon!

--Christianne

A few things from the slideshow:

There's a picture of a white nativity. I had set it out just so, until one day Jesi came running in to me and said, "Mommy! I fixed it! I fixed it so EVERYONE can see baby Jesus!" It was so sweet.

Elli's favorite two gifts were her "radio" from Grandma Rose and Grandpa Green and the yellow scarf given to her by her teachers-- she loved pulling it back and forth around her neck.

It was SO GOOD that Santa left a Stitch doll for Graci! Just two days before Christmas she decided that the most important thing Santa could bring for her was "Stitch stuff." She calls Stitch her boyfriend. Good thing Santa knew Graci well enough to know just what she would want. (:

More scotch tape fun...

I just logged on and saw Jer's entry about Parker taping the Ipod to his ears, and it reminded me of another fun picture. (: During the holidays, we tape our Christmas cards to our front door. One day, hoping to distract Jesi for a few minutes so I could get something done, I handed her a Christmas letter and asked if she would tape it up for me. I totally forgot about it until that night, when I found this--I had to laugh out loud!!

Rocking Out

Last summer when I took the kids on a road trip to Oregon, our main source of music for the ride was my iPod. The boys' favorite playlist was my collection of songs from the 80's. Ever since then the boys have gone around singing "We Built This City on Rock and Roll," and "Invisible Touch" and other favorites from my high school days. Today, Parker came up to me and asked if he could listen to my iPod. I said he could and gave it to him. He couldn't find the clunky old headphones we usually have him use, so he came back and asked if he could use my earphones. I let him. This being the first time he had tried earbuds, he couldn't get them to stay in. So he improvised...:) (That's scotch tape, in case you can't tell.)

Jeremy

Chocolate Girl

We were told a cute story tonight. A lady that we go to church with has two daughters. The oldest, Matty, is about 12, and the youngest, Hayden, just turned 3. Earlier this week, the girls were watching a children's program called "Brown Bear." This episode involved a visit to China. Matty asked Hayden: "Do you know anyone from China?" Hayden replied: "Graci." Matty asked: "What about Graci's little sister, Elli?" They talked a little about how Hayden had two friends named Elli and how one of them was blind. Hayden said something along the lines of: "The pink and white Elli isn't blind. The blind Elli is chocolate, like chocolate chips!"

So I guess we have two chocolate daughters. Christi and I quickly saw how apropos the comparison is for Elli. She's just like chocolate. Usually milk, occasionally semi-sweet, and once in awhile-bitter!:)

Parker's Award-Winning Rap

Last school year, the PTA had a contest called "Reflections." Kids could enter artwork, songs, poems, etc. which were their original works. The theme was "I can make a difference by...." The night before it was due, Parker decided he wanted to enter, so he went into his room and wrote this rap entirely by himself. Watch out LL Cool J! He won an award for it, too:)

Joy to Everyone

We hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas week! We wanted to share a beautiful song and video which has touched our hearts this season. As our family continues to grow in a multi-cultural way, the pictures here were particularly beautiful to us. Click here to view it.

Jeremy

What's in a name?

I have just a few minutes, so I'm going to answer one of the many questions we've had about Dang Xu Chu. Hopefully I'll get some time soon to sit down and write more details about him.

Are we giving him an American name? Yes. The problem is deciding on the name. Trying to find one that Jeremy and I and all the kids can agree on is a little tricky! So I am enlisting your help! Please take a good look at this sweet face and let us know what names come to mind!

A few of our favorite are Skyler, Dallas, and Thomas. Feel free to weigh in on those.

His middle name will most likely be Philip, after my dad and grandpa.

--Christianne

Clever Kids

This morning Taylor came in and proudly proclaimed: "Dad, I untied my shoes before I put them on." Like many fathers before me, I often extol the virtues of this simple procedure. When one does not untie one's shoes prior to putting them on, one runs the risk of smashing and ultimately breaking the material on the back of the shoe. Such an untimely demise requires the father to open his wallet and see more of his hard earned money sucked out as a new pair of shoes is purchased. (I don't say it quite like that to the kids.) Anyway, Taylor made this declaration, for which he was duly praised. I then asked Parker, who was standing right there, "Did you untie YOUR shoes before you put them on?" Parker smiled his goofy grin and said "Uh, I don't know. Well, no." So I again extolled the virtues of this simple procedure. Parker replied with, "But Dad, I always put my finger in between my heel and the shoe, so the back never gets smashed down." Ignoring the obvious sense of his argument (as a father is wont to do when his wisdom is questioned) I quickly came up with this comeback: "That will stretch your shoes out." Without missing a beat, he turned to me and said, "Then they'll last longer!!!" How was I to argue that?

Those of you who know Jessica know how amazingly sweet she can be. (You also know how temperamental she can be, but that's for a different story.) You know the tender, sweet voice she can use when she's in her sweet mode. One of her favorite things to do is say "If you need any help, tell me." Or, holding something in her hand, "If you need any (insert whatever item she's holding), tell me." So a few days ago, she comes up to me, holding several pieces of tissue in her hands. (When I say tissue, I really mean strips of toilet paper pulled off of the bathroom roll). She says, "Daddy, if you need any tissue, tell me." So, being the attentive father I am:) I immediately said, "Jesi, I could really use some tissue." "OK, Daddy," she replied, handing me a piece. I then pretended to blow me nose and threw away the tissue. Jesi then told me I needed more tissue, which I gratefully accepted and pretended to blow my nose again. After I threw that piece away, Jesi came right up to me (I was sitting down), stared up my nose, and said, "But Daddy, you still have boogers." I humbly accepted yet another piece of tissue and tried to eradicate the offending material from my nose. After this final attempt, Jesi again examined my nasal cavities and told me my boogers were still there. At this point, Christi came to my rescue and said, "Jesi, it's just hair. Sometimes daddies have hair in their nose." Jesi accepted this and we thought that was the end of it.

A couple of days later, Christi and the 4 oldest kids were in church (I had generously offered to sacrifice and stay home with sick little Elli.;) In the middle of the service, Jesi was sitting on Christi's lap, tummy to tummy. Before Christi had any idea what Jesi was doing, our little angel pushed Christi's nose up (like someone imitating a pig), stared up into her nostrils and said (again, in the middle of our church service), "Mommy, you have hair boogers." Christi quickly whispered in her ear that it isn't nice to talk about such things, to which she replied, "But Mom, you DO have hair boogers!" Christi, of course, was grateful to be enlightened.:)

That night at Sunday dinner, Jesi stood up on her chair and said, "GUYS! GUYS! Shhhh!!!! Listen to me!" After everyone quieted down, she announced in her very important voice, "Parents have hair boogers!" She thought she had made the discovery of the century. Thanks, Jes.

I learn so much from my children in so many different ways. In spite of the many challenges that come with parenthood, I not only wouldn't trade them, I'm excited to face the new challenges, joys, lessons, successes, and everything else that will come into our lives when we adopt Chu Chu next summer. By the way, we're very grateful and touched by the kind and excited comments so many of you have posted regarding our upcoming addition. Many of you have asked questions about Dang Xu Chu, and we promise to answer them. Right now, it's a little crazy around here, but we'll post some more details about him soon.

Merry Christmas!

Jeremy

Our Darling Elves

Hey y'all. Our family didn't all fit in one elf movie, so we added Grandma and Grandpa Green and made two. Anyone with kids should try doing this-- your kids will get such a kick out of it!

Please note that this is NOT the "movie" that I've directed people to that has the fun surprise and that the kids were excited to share. That movie is underneath-- under the title "What's missing?" (:

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

What's Missing?

The kids were SO excited to make and share their "movie!" (: Be sure to pause the music at the bottom of the blog before you push play. Merry Christmas!!!

--Christianne

PS-- We fixed the pausing problem, so it should be smoother viewing now:)

Random Thoughts

My Brother Matt will be heading to Iraq on December 14th. At least a year away from his wife and his kids. What a sacrifice. The fact that it is 11 days before Christmas only makes it a little more poignant. If you find it appropriate, I hope you will join us in taking a minute this coming Christmas morning to pause and thank God for the men and women (and their families at home supporting them) that are serving each of us as members of the United States Military. Matt and Carla, you are in our thoughts and prayers! We love you. Thank you!


Parker is now a Cub Scout! They don't make 'em much cuter than that, do they:) Taylor has loved scouts so much that Parker has just been dying to be part of the program. They both have great leaders, which really makes a huge difference. By the way, thanks to Grandma Rose for taking time during her recent visit to help Parker earn his Bobcat award.

Grandma Rose and Grandpa Green were here for about 10 days. They came the Friday before Thanksgiving and were here for Parker's baptism, which was a very special day. We're so proud of him and his commitment to make right choices. After Parker was baptized, Grandma and Grandpa took him out to get a CTR ring. For those not familiar with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, CTR stands for "Choose the Right." When children are 5 or 6 years old, they get an inexpensive ring that says CTR on it. When they wear this ring, it helps them remember to make right choices. If you want to, you can also purchase a higher quality version, which is what Grandma Rose and Grandpa Green bought for Parker. I hope he will always remain as determined as he is right now to "Choose the Right!" Grandma and Grandpa Nelson bought him a beautiful set of leather-bound scriptures as a baptism gift. He loves both of them very much.

I love having my parents here. They're both tremendously helpful with the housework, laundry, etc. My dad looks all around for odd jobs that need to be done. He fixed a couple of holes in the drywall, glued together a broken drawer from the boys' dresser and loaded and unloaded the dishwasher at least twice a day. My mom did tons of laundry while she was here. They even let Christi and me go out overnight. What a treat! Needless to say, they're welcome to stay as long as they want! :)

A couple of weeks ago, Jesi had to go to the doctor to get some shots. She hid in a small cubby in her closet and basically said, "Talk to the hand..." Poor kid:( A least she was prepared for what was to come. Poor Elli had no idea what hit her!

Yesterday, Graci decided to clean behind our downstairs TV. This TV sits on a small, old entertainment center that is positioned kitty corner. There is a fairly large space that tends to collect stuff that falls down behind the TV. So Graci had me pull out the TV, and she and Jesi climbed through and cleaned up the junk that had collected down there over the past year. What a great kid!

Jeremy

Spaghettios

Graci thinks English is so strange. Yesterday she tried spaghettios for the first time. She asked why they were called spaghettios, and I told her it was because they were shaped like little O's. She scrunched up her face and asked, "then why the other ones not called 'spaghetti-long-ones'?" (:

Miracles for Elli

Hey everyone--

Just wanted you to know that I started a new blog (not to replace this one). I'm not sure why I think I can keep up with another blog when I can't keep up with this one, but I'm giving it a try! You can visit it here.

--Christianne

Birthdays, Humor, Awards and Great Kids

Saturday was Parker's Birthday. As is the tradition, Christi served him breakfast in bed. Of course he loved that:) We threw quite the party for him. Most of you who read this blog are not steeped in the tradition of the Utah-BYU rivalry. It's not quite Michigan-Ohio State, but it has to be one of the longer-standing rivalries in the country, and people around here are quite passionate about their favorite team. For the birthday party we had a "football party" and kids were supposed to come dressed in the colors of the team they cheer for. (For those of my family who are "football challenged," the music playing is the theme song for Monday Night Football.) We had about 25 kids show up and it was split about 60-40 in favor of BYU. Although our family is a die-hard BYU stronghold, we decorated in both red and blue to make everyone happy. We had the kids play several games, and the winner of each would score either a touchdown or a field goal for their college. At the end of the party, BYU won by a field goal in overtime. This of course is a foreshadowing of how the game this coming weekend will end up! Anyway, the kids loved it. This was the first time we've ever purchased a birthday cake, but, as you can see in the pictures, it was worth it!

After the party, Christi and I went on a much needed date. We took in the movie "Fireproof." WOW, what a great show. I think every married or engaged couple should watch this movie. Completely clean (although the themes were too mature for kids), it was a wonderfully uplifting experience. It is a Christian movie, made by the same people who made "Facing the Giants" (another must-watch). Anyway, we really enjoyed being out by ourselves. After the movie, we went to Sonic to share a dessert. We ordered a strawberry-banana smoothie, but it wasn't very good. Well, I thought it wasn't very good. Christi had a hard time expressing just how disgusting she thought it was. Mostly, it was the texture. It felt like they had added some kind of powder to it and it hadn't been blended in. Anyway, Christi practically gagged when she took a sip. We ordered a carmel banana shake and headed off for home. We were sharing the shake, and would pass it back an forth to each other. It was quite delicious and very thick, so we had to suck on the straw extremely hard just to get a little bit out. In between one of my turns with the shake, I had the great idea to pull a switcheroo. The strawberry-banana fiasco was still in the cup holder right by my hand. So the next time I got the carmel shake, I handed back the strawberry smoothie instead. Christi, thinking she would have to inhale strongly to get anything at all, instead got a huge mouthful of the strawberry stuff which she couldn't stand. Needless to say, she complimented me on my charming sense of humor (or something like that!:)


Thanks to Dave and Marie Ausdenmore (visit them at ausfamily.blogspot.com) for nominating us for an "I love your blog" award. We met Marie and "Aus" (as Dave prefers to be called) on our trip to China to get Graci. They were also adopting a beautiful little girl and we got to know them pretty well. By the time we met them, Christi had already returned home, so it was just Graci, Taylor, Parker and me! Aus and family were a HUGE help to me, taking the kids off of my hands several times over the week we were together and just being good friends. I might not have survived without them! Apparently, one of the requirements when you receive this award is to nominate four more blogs for the award, so here are four blogs (in no particular order) we think are just great. (There are tons of others which would be equally deserving, but these are just a few we have particularly loved.)

1. Michael and Heather Matheny at: heathermathenyfamily.blogspot.com This great family is one of the many that we came to love in Tennessee. They have been in our thoughts and prayers lately as they just returned from China on a trip to adopt little Max.

2. The Martine family at: martinemadness.blogspot.com We followed their journey to Maliah while were in the process of adopting Elli. We share their passion for adoption and their love of our great nation and our Creator.

3. The Smith family at: audreycaroline.blogspot.com We share with them a love of Tennessee and the pain of losing a baby. We love Angie's humorous and uplifting slices of life.

4. The Stewart family at: stewartfam-shelly.blogspot.com They, too, share our passion for adoption. Plus they have the coolest Star Wars Halloween costumes I've ever seen!

One final note. I just can't express how grateful I am for the amazing children the Lord has blessed us with. Not a day goes by that somebody doesn't comment on how wonderful Taylor is, or how reverent Parker is in church, or how Graci is the favorite kid in her class at school, or how charmed someone is by Jesi, or how touched someone is by the special spirit that Elli carries with her. A couple of nights ago I re-watched the video I made of our journey to Graci and her return journey home. I was overcome with a small understanding of the love her Savior has for her, and an increased appreciation of what she has gone through in her life. She is a special little girl. I am excited to see what the future has in store for her! (The two youtube videos below are the first and second half of the videos we made for Graci. Each half is about 10 minutes. If you want to watch them, be sure to first scroll down to the bottom of the blog and pause the blog background music so you can hear Graci's video.)

Jeremy

Halloween

BATMAN GIRL

This was Graci's first Halloween and she loved it. I guess when you're a kid and every house wants to give you candy, what's not to love? The weather was GREAT this year! In 2007 we were all freezing, but this year, the kids actually got too hot in their costumes. Dad was very grateful:) Here are some pics from Halloween night as well as from a party we went to a couple of nights before. Elli was a pumpkin both nights. Taylor was a "dragon ninja" (his description) both nights. Graci was "Wednesday" from the Adams family at the party and a witch on Halloween night. (Her "Stitch" costume from Lilo and Stitch didn't show up in time. Major disappointment!) With all the frilly girl stuff to choose from, Jesi wanted to be "Batman Girl" for the party (hence the music). She was not Batgirl, and she would get quite frustrated if people called her that. "I not Batgirl! I Batman Girl!" And don't forget it!!! She was a kitty for Halloween. Parker was a ninja for the party and Spiderman with the black suit for Halloween.

This morning, Jesi came in and cuddled between Christi and me before we got up. When I rolled over and gave her a hug, she said: "Your breath is stinky! If you will brush your teeth then the air that comes out of your mouth won't stink!" Thanks, Jess, I'll make a note of that:)

Elli is really growing up. It's the cutest thing to watch her when the school bus pulls up. She gets so excited she literally shakes as she walks towards it. She has a new bus driver with a new assistant, both of whom are very sweet with Elli. Jesi and Elli were both off track for the past three weeks, and it's been nice for Christi to have them back in school. Elli is only gone 3 hours a day, monday-thursday, but it really gives Christi a break and a chance to get caught up on things.

Taylor is really enjoying Cub Scouts. He's earned his Wolf badge and 5 arrows and is now working towards his Bear. Parker turns 8 on Saturday and can hardly wait until he becomes a Cub Scout. It's pretty cute. The two boys are amazing kids. They're so good with all 3 of their sisters. We are truly blessed as parents!

Jeremy