On comments from the previous post...

Anonymous and Allen,

I really, really appreciate your wise advice. When we found out that we couldn't travel in November, I was just kind of numb. Or sick. Or both. When the options of December 1 or 8 were given to us, I of course immediately pounced on the 1st. I mean, come on-- get my girls here ASAP, right? When Jeremy lovingly suggested we look at the 15th, I thought he had gone crazy! To put off getting our girlies just to make it more convenient for the family seemed just nuts. But the more I listened to his reasoning, the more I began to see his very valid points. Leaving on the 15th, or the 22nd for that matter, would have lots of pros. We would get to have Christmas recitals (the girls have been practicing for weeks), Christmas programs, basketball games, etc. We would not have to pull the kids out of school for so many days because part of the travel time would be over Christmas break. We could celebrate Christmas early without all the stress of coming home exhausted and adjusting to our new family. Jeremy wouldn't have to take quite as many days of unpaid leave. It would be easier on my parents to watch the kids at that time, and they would get to hang out with cousins. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made-- and I was beginning to even feel excited about it.

So we emailed CCAI and asked if leaving later was a possibility. They were completely supportive, but mentioned that travel is more expensive around the holidays. We began to price some flights, and even called an awesome travel agency to do the same, and compare them to the dates we had been given. As it turns out, not traveling at the first of December would cost us MEGA bucks. As in, thousands.

January isn't an option, because we have to complete the adoption before Dec 31 for tax purposes.

I think that's why I was feeling so down about the dates we were given-- there isn't an alternative that works!

Anyway... Anonymous, I think you have it right. I wouldn't have thought it earlier today, but after going through hours of thinking and discussing-- I think you're just super wise and correct that we have to consider everyone's needs and that our girlies would be fine either way. Unfortunately, our wallets aren't allowing us to do that!

So... I've decided to perk up and get EXCITED! Being as how there's nothing I can do to change the dates, I'm going to believe that there is a reason we're leaving when we are! Teri, your comment invigorated me! You are right-- this IS something to squeal about! We're going to China! (insert squeal) (: Our kids are amazing and adaptable, and they will be fine. We'll do our best with what we've been given and know that Heavenly Father is watching out for us. Sophi and Lexi, here we come!!!

--Christianne

Travel Approval!!

My emotions are so mixed up right now! We received travel approval today for Alexis and Sophia! Woo-hoo! The news we've been working for ever since we saw their sweet little faces so long ago! However, we were hoping, hoping, hoping to leave next week, or at least by Thanksgiving. Instead, it looks like we'll be leaving on December 1st or 8th, depending on when we can secure a consulate appointment. Ugh. I know it's only a week or two difference, but there were many reasons (including work, school, finances, holidays, dance recitals, basketball, etc) why November would have been better.

Anyway... I know I need to just shake it off! I know this is ridiculous to feel even a little bummed. There is so much to be excited about!! We're finally going to get to hold our darling new little daughters. (:(:(: We have waited so long and it's almost here! And come January, Lexi and Sophi will be here with us regardless of when we traveled. So exciting, right??!!!

So why can't I feel that way...

):

Christianne

Michelin Man

Yesterday evening I wasn't feeling very well. I was lying in my bed when Jesi came in. She needed to read a book for her homework, and she wanted to read it to me. So she came up in bed and we cuddled while she read to me. After the book was done, we laid there and talked for several minutes. It was a very endearing experience. She reached her arm across my tummy and gave me a big hug. Then she said, "Daddy, you're like a big ...(pause-then with a tone of voice that sounded very loving)...marshmallow.

Guess I need to cut out a few desserts?:)

Jer

Jesi's prayer tonight

Dear Heavenly Father,

We thank Thee for this day and for all of our blessings. We thank Thee for our family. And Heavenly Father, I think that Xander is the best brother in the whole wide world. And he is so great. And he is so kind to share. He is such a good brother. And please help us remember that when we say good things about another person, that that person should do nice things back, like share their candy. And Heavenly Father, please help Xander to know that if he shares his candy with me that he will be teaching us such a nice lesson about sharing and that it will make you sooooo happy. (Eye peeking open at Xander and his Halloween candy.) And Heavenly Father, thank-you for giving me the nicest mom I ever had. And I don't just like her, but I love her. Like 1,000 infinite much! And that really is a lot. And if I love her that much then she should be nice to me too. And Heavenly Father, I really love everyone in the whole wide world sooooo much. (long pause) Except strangers. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Amen! (Or AHEM!)

Indescribable

This will seem random, but...

I am convinced I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world! And lately I have been just completely overcome with that beauty. Like on the verge of tears with it all of the time. It seems almost every day I am calling Jeremy or he is calling me, or the kids are running in the room saying, "Look out your window!" The clouds, the colors, the mountains, the trees, the sunsets-- they have all just been taking my breath away. I was taking Jessica to dance the other day and literally had to pull over and just STARE at the sun's rays bouncing off the mountains. I was in tears. I was a moment where I felt completely connected to my Heavenly Father and so aware of His majesty.

I was just talking to my friend, Heather. (Yes, the Heather as in "everyone needs a Heather.") (: She said something that I could totally relate to. She said that all she has to do is walk out her front door and take a deep breath of air, look around, and she is high for two hours! I am the same way-- I feel drugged by the beauty surrounding me! (In a good way!)

I googled "Utah images" to try to get some pictures of what I am talking about. I found some good ones. VERY good ones. But even they can't portray the majesty of it all.

One of my favorite hymns:

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!


If I were a writer, I would have written this song! (: It describes perfectly what my heart feels when I see this kind of beauty:













And I know that Utah doesn't hold a monopoly on beauty-- so everyone, go out and breathe some air and get high! (:
While you're at it, pray we'll be breathing China's air soon!! Still waiting for the darn TA...

Feeling so grateful tonight...

Christianne


PS I couldn't find the names of all the photographers, but here are a few: Greg Busley, Danny Burk, Bruce Barker, David Schultz, and Willie Holdman. Credit to them!

Caring Voices

Ok, I know I didn't follow through on Graci's picture post, but I promise I will soon. It's a long post, so I've been trying to carve out a bit of time...

But I just HAD to post today and say how extremely grateful I am for Caring Voices Coalition.

Graci's last ECHO showed that the drug she had been taking for the last little while wasn't having any effect on her pulmonary hypertension. Her cardiologist wanted to try a different drug, and said he would work on approving it through our insurance. I got a call from the insurance last week that said it was approved, but with a very high copay. The lady I spoke to asked if I had heard of Caring Voices (I hadn't) and told me to give them a call to see if Graci might qualify for assistance.

Fast forward to today. I just received a message from CVC. We have been approved for a grant to cover the entire amount of our copay through 2011. That would be $5,113.00.

Holy cow.

Feeling so grateful...

Christianne

Good Advice...

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes...
That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away AND you have their shoes.”

Jer

Beautiful

More on this picture tomorrow!

2nd place...

Me: "Thank you for choosing me to do your homework with."
Jesi: "I was going to choose mom, but she was asleep."
Me: "Oh."
Jess: "Did you know you can't choose people who are asleep to do homework with? So I haved'd to choose you!"

Thanks, Jess. At least I know where I stand...

:)

Jer

What am I going to do with her???

Elli knows how to wreak havoc on our home. Today she seemed to be making even more messes than usual, including chewed up crayons in the carpet and some especially sweet diapers. I had finally had enough, and piled the kids in the van to run some errands-- mostly so I could keep her strapped in for awhile. (: Our first stop was Walmart. On the way out I bought the kids ice-cream cones from the McDonald's inside. The kids are very good at not verbalizing when they have "treats," as they know Elli will want them if she knows. (Our girl has a sweet tooth!) I bought her a shake-- so I could feed it to her and she would stay clean, and we all got buckled in the car. Jesi handed Xander her cone so she could get buckled. He was sitting next to Elli.

I'm not sure how she realized he had ice-cream. Did she smell it?? Accidentally touch it? ? All I know is that Xander and Jesi both started shrieking like they were being stung by a swarm of bees. Elli had found the cones. She was grabbing at the ice-cream and shoving it in her face as fast as she could. We're talking handfuls of soft-serve ice-cream. Xander couldn't do anything because he was buckled in. He was holding them as far away as he could, but Elli is smart and strong. I wish you could have seen her determined little face as she shoveled the ice-cream in. By the time I got out and rescued the cones, ice-cream was eveywhere. I was laughing so hard I started to snort, which made me laugh even harder.

Why do I even try with this girl??? Needless to say, Walmart was our last stop.

Marjorie Pay Hinckley said, "The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."

We laugh a lot around here!

We cry once in awhile too.

--Christianne

Every Day!

As I read Christi's post of a few minutes ago, I found it sad that she feels guilty. She says "I’m really feeling overwhelmed at how many people are blessing my life while I’m giving so little back." I want to remind her of something I pointed out a couple of days ago. It was after she called me and told me about what an incredible angel Heather was to come over and help out, unasked and not expecting anything in return. I told Christi: "You do that EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE!" So don't forget it, sweetheart. Truly we are blessed. I am SO grateful for the many wonderful things that many wonderful people continue to do for us. But don't forget what you do for some pretty special kids every day.

By the way, the effort, responsibility and work that goes into rearing a family like ours falls much more on Christi's shoulder's than mine. Her work load has increased way more than mine through this process. I guess I'm giving up a 4-wheeler or something, but, seriously, Christi is giving so, so, so much of her life for our family. Thanks, dear:)

Jer

Late night ramblings...

After finishing the previous post, I was sitting here reflecting on today and was just overwhelmed with gratitude for my many blessings. I have found that if I am looking, there are so many tender mercies sent by the Lord just for me. It might be as simple as the beautiful sunset that I watched tonight as we were eating dinner. Or as big as the phone call I received from the photographer who took Graci’s pictures on her “Star Raising” night, telling me that she felt led to give us a discount (HALF PRICE) on the photos I ordered yesterday. This call was received after struggling all morning with feelings of “buyers remorse,” knowing that we didn’t have money for photos right now. Thank-you, Kathryn! These tender mercies also came in the way of getting to spend time with the beautiful young women in my ward and being uplifted by the friendship of the women I serve with. They came in two little girls knocking at our door asking for donations for Primary Children’s Hospital and me being reminded how grateful I am that none of my children are there right now. They came in Elli going potty at school three days in a row—YAY! They came in getting through an entire day without major pain from the shingles.

I’m just feeling very blessed! And very undeserving. I’m not just saying that to sound all humble either. I’m really feeling overwhelmed at how many people are blessing my life while I’m giving so little back. For example, I have my “adoption shower” coming up on Saturday. I am SOOO excited, and yet I feel almost guilty for having one. I can’t really figure out why—I just do! Maybe because they’re not babies? I don’t know… My friend asked me to register at Target. I’ve never registered for anything before—and really didn’t even know how to do it. When I got there, they gave me “the gun” that you scan your “wanted items” with. I felt so silly walking around going, “I want this! Give me this!” First of all, I almost always buy things on sale—usually clearance. When you try to scan those things, it tells you that there is a limited number and to choose something else. So I felt uncomfortable scanning things that were full-price. It was fun, but after I was done, I almost just wanted to erase it all. I want people to know that I would be grateful for anything—I love hand-me-downs! I don’t know… it’s just I realize that it’s a hard time for people right now and I don’t want them to think I feel entitled to nice things. Anyway… I’m just rambling at this point. I’m just so grateful for what is being done for me and I want others to know how much it means to me.

Thank you, everyone.

---Christianne

October 6, 2010 4:00 pm- 5:00 pm

I was going to do “a day in the life” post, but realized it would be much too long, so I opted for an hour instead. And here it is, a typical hour of my life:

Help Taylor type his newspaper article.
Judge horse races between cowgirl Jesi and cowboy Xander.
Give Jesi my condolences after she announces that her horse died. (This would be her stick horse.)
Try not to smile as she pretends to cry dramatically.
Help Graci with math problem.
Help Xander spell “sorry your horse died” on a picture he drew for Jessica.
Watch Jesi hug Xander tightly after she opens his note.
Think how glad I am that our kids usually get along like this.
Fold half of a huge load of laundry while quizzing Graci on spelling words.
Tell Jesi that, no, she can’t set up a lemonade stand because among other things, it’s raining outside.
Get Elli off the bus.
Remind kids to finish chores.
Cuddle Elli.
Give in to Elli’s pleas for candy corn.
Give in to Taylor’s plea to have a friend over.
Fold the other half of laundry.
Listen to Xander explain to me that Jesi is selling juice outside.
Tell Xander to fetch Jesi.
Listen to Jesi explain that she was obeying me, because she didn’t sell lemonade, she sold juice!
Put clean clothes away with Xander’s help.
Listen to the fun sounds of my boys playing with friends.
Listen to them groan as they come upstairs and ask what stinks.
Realize that Elli is VERY messy.
Change a diaper.
Shut my bedroom door so friends won’t see the mess that is my bedroom.
Listen to Elli’s screams.
Listen to Elli’s giggles.
Listen to Elli’s screams.
Get a hug from Parker.
Eat a granola bar.
Praise Graci for getting her chores done.
Walk in the kitchen to find an absolute MESS.
See that Jesi has dirtied eight cups and used up a full jug of apple juice.
Assess the mess on the counter and try to figure out how many kids made their own after-school snacks and whether or not I should embarrass them in front of their friends by asking them to come and clean it up.
Decide to let it go.
Eat another granola bar.
Try not to look aggravated as I see Jesi smile sweetly at me from the table, with cinnamon toast she has made for herself.
Kiss Jeremy as he walks in.
Explain to Jeremy that the kitchen had been clean before the kids came home.
Grimace as I realize I'm walking barefoot on a floor covered with sugar.
Yearn for the 5,000th time for a bigger kitchen.
Try to talk myself into feeling blessed with the one I have.
Smile as I see Jer take pictures of Jesi and her toast with his cell phone.

Giggle as I realize that’s the outfit she was “selling juice” in.
Ask Jer to take pics of the kitchen while he's at it.

Give in to Elli’s screams and pick her up and sing to her.
Look in the fridge and try to figure out what I can throw together for dinner.
Give up on the fridge and turn to the freezer.
Find some honey-glazed chicken I had bought on sale and some fruit to make smoothies.
Congratulate myself that it will be an easy dinner night.

And that about does it. Do you want to hear 5:00-6:00?

Just kidding. (:

--Christianne

Daddy Daughter Campout

Graci is quite the girl. She loves to tease me. She will often act very stand-offish and act as though she couldn't care less about her old man. She loves to call me "Dude" instead of Dad. At other times she will show her love for me in various ways. She has become more and more willing to give hugs the longer she has been with us (seems like a reasonable thing). One way in which she has always shown me that she loves me is by wanting time. She loves to be read to, play games, whatever, as long as one of her parents is spending time with her. She is also very sensitive to other kids having more parent-child time than she does. So the father/son campouts I go on with the boys are sometimes difficult for her. (There are various reasons she can't come on some of our activities, the main one being that we sometimes go on serious hikes that would not work for her. We do try to involve her as often as possible.)

This summer, we decided to add a daddy-daughter campout to our schedule. A few weeks ago, Jesi, Graci and I went to a beautiful site in the Utah west desert. It is called Clover Spring Campground. It is very out of the way, and there was only one other group camping there that night. The girls were very helpful in getting camp set up. We got there just in time to set up our tent with some light left. Then we made a campfire and cooked hot dogs and s'mores for dinner. Our campsite was perfect. It was just the right size for the three of us. There was a beautiful little river running right by, so we were able to fall asleep to it's charming sound. Someone had built a rope swing from a tree right on our site. We all loved it! In the morning we were able to go on a little hike and see the spring. It is quite amazing to see so much water just coming up out of the ground.

Camping with the girls was quite a different experience than camping with the boys. For example...

Graci was fine with the dark...as long as I was with her. Right with her. As in, she wouldn't go in to the glorified outhouse by herself. Nor would she let me enter said outhouse by myself. Too scary outside in the dark. Fortunately, the outhouse was fairly large, and two of us could stand facing the other way while one poor soul used the facilities. The ginormous, crab-like spider clinging to the roof of the outhouse was certainly no help in this regard.

Jesi is very feminine. She is not afraid to get dirty or to have fun, but there is just an air of femininity to everything she does that puts a very different spin on the whole camping experience.

Here are a few quotes from the trip (these are separate quotes, not related to each other):

Jesi: "Look! I found a rock that was made from the world! You want to feel it? Now you know what the world feels like. Well, the top of the world."

Me: "Graci, do you know what plural means?"
Graci: "Yeah, it's dat thing dat a orchestra makes."
Me: "What?"
Graci: "Dat thing dat a orchestra makes!"
Me: "That thing that an orchestra makes?"
Graci: "No! Not orchestra--ostra! Dat thing dat is in da ocean. Like a shell, and it makes a round plural."
Me: "Oh...you mean an oyster that makes a pearl."
Graci: "Yeah!"

Jesi: "This is the bestest daddy date ever."

Graci (as we're putting away the tent): "Mommy call you a clean freak about tent!" (Thanks, Christi:)

Jesi: "Dad, you're the bestest dad ever. I wouldn't sell you for anything!"
Me: "Thanks, Jess."
Jesi (in all sincerity): "You're welcome!"

Jesi (watching me type some of these quotes into my Blackberry so I wouldn't forget them): "Who are you texting?" I had no idea she even knew what texting was! She's only seven, for crying out loud. Someone has got to slow down this whole growing up process. I like them where they are right now!


The girls on the way there:


Graci pretending she's asleep in the back seat:

Jesi, before she knows she's being photographed:

Jesi, after she knows:)

Enjoying the campfire:



The rope swing was a big hit:







Graci helps cook breakfast:

We take a short hike:





Leaving:(




It was truly a delightful trip. The daddy-daughter campout will definitely become an annual tradition. I have awesome kids:)

Jer

Everyone needs a Heather...

Friday morning I woke up in a daze. Pain from the shingles had kept me up late into the night, and the meds I had just begun taking had left me exhausted. I felt like I had just taken a sleeping pill and yet I had to get all the kiddos off to school. Jeremy had been in Miami all week and was coming home that night. I had so much to do, but after I got the oldest four off to school, I felt like I couldn’t do anything, so I basically sat on the couch in a fog feeling quite sorry for myself wondering how I was going to make it through the day. After awhile, the doorbell rang. I thought about ignoring it, as I looked quite awful and my house looked worse. But then I thought it was probably just a neighbor wanting to play with Xander, so I went to the door and found her:



I shouldn’t have been surprised that my friend, Heather, was standing there with a bouquet of flowers and a bag of cute hand-me-downs for Lexi. Heather is just like this. She has an uncanny way of knowing exactly when I need her. (I'm thinking it has something to do with how close she is to the Spirit!) We haven’t lived in the same town for 7-8 years, but she hunts me down wherever I am. Sometimes it’s a package in the mail, sometimes it’s a phone call—but she is always there at just the right time.

Heather knew from my blog that I wasn’t feeling well. She came in and asked me what I had wanted to get done that day. I told her I had wanted to go to Target, clean my house, do laundry, and finish some projects I had started for Jeremy, BUT that I felt like I couldn’t move. So she stood up and started right in on my kitchen, insisting that I sit down and do a “low-energy” project. I would have been a bit mortified if it had been someone else, but H has a way of making me feel like I'm the greatest person on the planet, even when I'm not, and that there's nothing else she'd rather be doing than picking up my garbage and scrubbing my floors.

By the time Heather left a couple of hours later, I felt like a different person. Having a head start on my house gave me the drive to get it done. I finished almost everything I had wanted to that day, and felt a thousand times happier than I had that morning. If Heather hadn’t of shown up, Jeremy would have come home to a crying wife and a very messy house. Instead, we had a great night together in a nice, happy home.

A couple of hours from an angel made the whole weekend so much better for my entire family.

I love you, Heather! I am so blessed to call you my friend!

FYI...

Before we had to change insurances this year, we didn't have to think much about where we filled our prescriptions. We had great coverage. Now, we have to pay everything out of pocket, and we have found it pays to call around and ask different pharmacies what the cost would be. My doctor prescribed two meds for the shingles. I called three pharmacies, and these were the results:

Smiths: Valtrex-- $434
generic Valtrex-- $164
Gabapentin-- $36


Walgreens: Valtrex-- $428
generic Valtrex-- $334
Gabapentin-- $97


Costco: Valtrex-- $394
generic Valtrex-- $104
Gabapentin-- $14


Don't you feel for the poor person who has shingles and goes to Walgreens?! You can bet that I drove an extra 15 minutes to go to Costco! (And that I opted for generic Valtrex.) The crazy thing is that Costco isn't always the cheapest. Some meds we end up getting at Smith's and others at Walgreens. I'll never figure out why there is such a discrepancy is prices...

Also, I had to post Jesi's prayer tonight. It would not would be so unique if you didn't know that we don't usually address God as "God" when we pray. We always call him Heavenly Father, or our Father in Heaven. Not because calling Him God wouldn't be ok-- just because the other way feels more personal and describes our relationship with Him. So it just sounded funny to hear her pray tonight:

"Dear God in Heaven,
God, we are soooo thankful for this day. And God, please help us to have the Spirit with us so we will only have goodness in our hearts and not any badness. And please, God, bless Elli to have miracles. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."


Off to try an oatmeal bath-- ahhhhhhhhhh!

Love this clip...

I was watching this little video and really identifying with Rochelle. Adoption, special needs, religion, etc. Then when she got to the part about hitting teachers, I just wanted to hug her! Just a little comment, but it made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. She said it in a way that reminded me that "it's all good!" It's ok that Elli basically spit all day in school today. Life goes on.

So grateful for people who understand, even if I don't know them! So grateful to know the beauty of having special needs kids in my home. So grateful for the teachers who give so much to my kids and who sincerely love them. So grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ.


(you can double click on the video to make it bigger)


PS Not so grateful for shingles. I have an appointment in the morning. Thanks for all your sweet comments and advice. I wouldn't have made an appointment if it weren't for reading them..

Lucky me...

So about a week ago I began to have some pain under my arm and by the side of my chest. It would come and go and sometimes was super painful. I thought maybe it was swollen lymph nodes, but I couldn't feel any. Plus, it felt more like nerve pain, if that makes sense. I was beginning to wonder if something more serious was going on. Then the other day, out of the blue, I broke out in a bumpy, red, horribly itchy and painful rash. Right where the pain had been. I googled pictures of rashes and found one that looked exactly like mine and found out that I'm 99% sure I have...

Shingles

Are you kidding me? I thought this was something that older people get! I didn't really know about shingles, but have found out that it comes from the chicken pox virus which lays dormant in your body. It can be triggered by things such as stress. I don't know how in the world I ended up with it! LOL

I have a new empathy for anyone that has dealt with this. The pain can be horrible and even just the slightest brush against my skin can feel like sandpaper. However, as I looked at other images of people with shingles, I felt so grateful that my outbreak is relatively small AND it's not anywhere near my face. And don't worry-- you can't spread shingles-- but I can give someone chicken pox that hasn't had it before--crazy!

Apparently there's not a great cure, so I'm trying to find one of my own. This morning I tried to see if eating three raspberry-filled, powdered sugar doughnuts for breakfast would help with the pain. I think it just may have... (:

So... yeah.

Shingles.

Just what I needed.

--Christianne

Xander Commander

Today my heart has been occupied with this kid:



Within an hour of meeting Xander, Jeremy and I (and our entire travel group) had decided he would someday be student body president. (: The boy just has "it." He is funny, engaging, sensitive, bright, independent, and loving. When he first saw us he laughed and jumped into our arms and has never looked back. He has the most fun imagination and makes the biggest messes with it! I'll often go into the kitchen and he's sitting there with a huge smile and a sandwich he's made himself-- we're talking mayo, mustard, meat, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce-- the whole shebang. He answers almost any question with "sure!" and loves to be my helper. He has the most sensitive heart, and if he sees someone crying, he's likely to join right in. He makes the funniest faces that make us all laugh. He dresses up as Batman or the Incredible Hulk or some other superhero almost every single day. He has the cutest little stutter. He is easygoing and always grateful.

I adore him.

--Christianne

I love you, dear Emily Anne!

She would be turning five today.

And because of her short life, we now have THREE living children her age. Yes-- Emily, Elli, Xander, and Lexi were all born within a year of each other. (: None of them would be here with us if Emily hadn't returned to her Heavenly Father when she did.

What fun they will someday have all together... Emily and Xander with their perfect bodies, Elli and Lexi with their perfect eyesight... What a joyous day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't help all those exclamation marks. (:



When we left our home during the fire last week, we gathered our precious things. These included Emily's box (and Jacob's too, of course) of momentos from her birth. When we came home and put things away, I went through those boxes and looked at every single thing. Every picture. Every card sent to us by friends and family. Every photocopy of letters we had written and left in their caskets. Every momento, including the dress we first dressed Emily in, the blanket we first wrapped Jacob in, and replicas of the stuffed animals they were buried with.

I saw her birth announcement with the little pink footprints, reading in part:

"May these feet leave their footprints across your heart as they have ours."

I saw the chart that had been posted on our fridge stating who was set up to bring us meals and who was helping with the kids. (Thanks, McKenzie.) I saw the little note cards that had come with flowers sent by loved ones. I read each card sent to us, and was reminded of the love sent our way by so many people.

Just so you know, I needed every single one.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the sweet people in my life!


Thank you!


A few pictures to share...


Jessica hugging the bunny Emily would be buried with.



Her casket-- I made it out of a large jewelry/silverware box. The dress was made by a woman from church, her bracelet by my friend, Teresa, (who made matching ones for Jesi and myself), and the beautiful blanket by Jeremy's sister, Jennifer.




Jeremy singing at her graveside service. He sang a song we had written together, and another entitled "The Things I Know." Part of the words are as follows:

I know little babies come from heaven
I know God made her tiny hands and heart
I know rainbows and roses are no accident
Neither are the sun and moon and stars

So when I doubt
And there are things in life I just can't figure out
I trust that He
Is in control
And I hold on
To the things I know



Taylor and Parker sang "Families Can Be Together Forever"




My boys buried her.







It was a sacred day.


Love you, birthday girl!
-Christianne




PS About my comment to Jeremy in the previous post... it was, of course, said in jest! I am very nice to my hubby. And I know that he really isn't a scrooge.

Most of the time.
(:

Oh, and speaking of my sweetheart-- it was his birthday on the 23rd! I didn't get the chance to post it on the blog--it was a crazy, special day that I will write about later, but in the meantime, feel free to send him belated birthday wishes and congrats for getting so close to 40! (;