Happy Birthday, little Jacob!

Stillborn--
Born, still in the arms of God.
Born, still in the knowledge
Of His grace, and of His love.
Born, still to us
But alive to God!

Melt Your Heart

Just look into those smiling eyes!  This sweet little boy has been brought to my attention, and I feel privileged to advocate for him!  Like Sophi, he was born without arms.   And like us, you can be be beautifully blessed if you open your hearts and home to him!   We can't imagine not having Sophi in our lives-- she is magnificent and perfect in every way.  Don't be scared by missing limbs!

DOB: 09-2009 Gender: M Age: 2 years (exactly one year younger than Soph) Description: He has a neutral personality; he can be both introverted and extroverted. He has a quick reaction and is fond of listening to music. He is diagnosed with congenital absence of both upper limbs. He is able to hold things with his feet and play. He currently lives with a foster family and is attached to his care givers. He loves to be cuddled and his favorite toy to play with is a toy car.

If you find this little guy tugging at your hearts, please email my friend, Sonia at mommyof4jays@msn.com for more information.   (:

Random Tidbits

You have to look very closely to see the point of this picture.  Sophi was standing near our front door, observing as Christi was talking to some of the other kids.  I glanced at Sophi and noticed something I never really had before.  Because of her leg discrepancy, she has a very awkward time standing still.  She either has to be leaning to one side, or, like in the picture, she has to be on tip toe on her right foot.  How tiring that must be.  And yet she never complains about it.  In fact, she practically bounces with joy everywhere she goes.  (Except when she's in a bad mood, but that's prompted by other calamitous events, such as mom walking out of the room Sophi is in, etc.)  She is really a trooper.  Love that girl.

Jesi, Xander, Sophi and Erin C. put together a rock band.  Jesi's playing the badminton racquet.  Sophi is playing the guitar (you can almost miss her in the pics above).  Erin C. is on the plinkety piano.  And I haven't yet figured out what Xander was contributing.

Sophi loves to be scratched.  Back, legs, wherever.  She has very sensitive skin and obviously has a hard time scratching herself.  Last week at Grandma's house, she asked Lexi to scratch her back.  Lex really got into it.  (Notice the red marks:)

Monkey Boy to the Rescue

Taylor and Graci were at a church party celebrating the end of school.  While playing some kind of game involving a ball in the gym, the ball got stuck at the top of a large accordian-type sliding wall.  This put it probably 25 feet off of the floor.  Multiple attempts were made to throw other balls and other objects to jar the stuck ball loose.  Nothing worked until Monkey Boy shimmied his way up the to the top...:)

Dress Up Friends

Jesi and Xander have a wonderful little friend who lives across the street.  We love Annie!  One of their favorite things to do is to play dress up:

Annie

I didn't even TRY to count how many hair bows she had in...

Sadly, Annie's family is moving next month.  We are are all in tears about this:(

Elli's prayers

There aren't words in the English language to describe how much I love my Elli.  There is something uniquely special about children with cognitive disabilities such as autism.  She is easily my biggest challenge, and she is also easily amongst my greatest sources of joy.  I love her with all my heart.

Elli's language abilities are hard to explain.  She definitely knows a lot of words and many times uses them correctly-- usually when she wants something.  "I want treat please" is uttered probably 100 times a day.  She has her unique way of saying (or more commonly, yelling) it-- the words tend to run together and are in her own "Elli tone."  But we have learned to understand her quite well.  Most of the things she says are phrases that we've really worked on teaching her or that she has heard repeatedly, such as phrases that she hears her toys say.  In other words, she doesn't have a lot of spontaneous language where she expresses what is going on inside her head.  She is amazing at memorization and if she's in just the right mood, might wow you with an entire scripture that she has heard-- there are several that she knows word for word.  But having a conversation with her is at a VERY basic level.  It usually goes something like, "Elli, what do you want?"  "I want drink please." 

One of Elli's most common "words" is "Yeah, ok," with no break between the words.  This evolved from her first saying "yes" very clearly, to us teaching her to change it to "yes, please,"  then her changing it to, "Yes, please ok," (this after hearing us say "ok" after she said "yes, please,") and then her getting very lazy and changing it to a one word, "yeah-ok."  Her teachers have adopted this phrase and often answer each other with "yeah-ok" which we all find very humorous.

A few months ago, Elli started responding to a certain way of saying prayers.  In the past, we would say a phrase and if she were in the right mood (which was rarely) she might repeat it.  Once in awhile, she would say her "own" prayer, which was just phrases she had heard over and over.  It might go like this:  We would start by saying, "Dear Heavenly Father..." and wait for 20 seconds or so.  Then she might say, "Thank you for this day.  Please help us to have a good sleep.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."  Most often this wasn't said very clearly, but we understood it.


Now Elli will "fill in the blanks."  I will say, "Dear Heavenly Father.  Thank you for...."  and after a few minutes, she will say something.  We used to have to prod her with ideas, but she soon began doing it on her own.  The things she would list were ALWAYS food items.  A common prayer would be:


Me:  "Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for..."


Elli:  "Tootsie rolls."


Me:   "Thank you for tootsie rolls.  Thank you for..."


Elli:  "Pumpkin pie."


Me:  "Thank you for pumpkin pie.  Thank you for..."


Elli:  "Bananas and peanut butter."


And so on.  A few weeks ago, I noticed that Elli was not always just listing random foods that she liked, but was actually listing the things she had eaten that day.  Then one night, she listed "cat piano" (one of her favorite toys.)  I was so excited that she was thinking of things other than food!  Though she still usually listed just food, in the last couple of weeks she would sometimes insert other items.


Last night, Elli said the sweetest prayer.  The very first "fill in the blank" was "home."  My heart just swelled!  I can't even tell you what a sweet thing it was to get inside her little head and know that she could be grateful for home and express it.  The next thing she listed was "Grandma and Grandpa's house."  Again, so darling!  After listing a few food items, she then said, "Penny."  Penny is the name of her teacher at school.  She followed that with "Paula" who is one of the aides.  This was the first time that Elli has listed a person in her prayers.  It was such a special, wonderful thing!  I was so excited to share that with Penny and Paula today, especially because it was her last day of school.  I thought that was a pretty good end-of-year present for her teachers, and they did too!!!


Tonight, my parents are in town.  They came to watch some baseball-- fun times!  As I tucked Elli in tonight, she added "Grandma" and "Grandpa" to her list.  Penny and Paula were still included (probably at least 4 times each).  One of these days she's going to say "Mommy"-- I just know it!  (;


I should also add that she listed some rather random phrases, such as "don't hit yourself!"  (LOL) and "You're so funny Elli!"  I'm pretty sure that's the first time ever that "Thank you for don't hit yourself," has been uttered in a prayer, and I'm also pretty sure that it made her Father in Heaven smile.  (:


I love you, dear Elli Mei.

 

Planting a Garden

We moved into our current home in September of 2007.  When we moved in there was a nice little garden plot that the previous owners had planted.  We were able to reap the benefits of their work that first fall, and we really quite enjoyed it.  We had never planted a garden before, but we have done so every year since then.  Two weeks ago was the day this year.  We were on a pretty tight time schedule that day and Christi was VERY sick, so I relied heavily on the older kids.  Taylor and Parker weeded the plot while I took Lexi, Elli and Sophi to Home Depot to get the seeds and starts that we needed along with some garden soil.  Once we got back Taylor and Xander helped me till the ground and add the new soil.  We all worked together to plant.  Parker planted a row of carrots on his own and worked with Lexi to plant a row of spinach.  Taylor planted radishes by himself, peas with Jesi and onions with Xander.  Graci , Xander and Jesi planted beets.  I worked with several of the kids to plant our tomato starts along with a couple of pepper plants and some basil.

Although it's a fair amount of work each year (and it would likely cost less money to just buy the produce at the store:), planting a garden has been a really rewarding experience for our family over the years.  The kids LOVE the fresh vegetables each summer and fall.  And it teaches good lessons about the value of work and the law of the harvest.  They all enjoy being a part of the planning process, deciding what will be planted.  Plus, we keep it small enough that they're not weeding all summer long:)

As a side note, the reason we were so rushed that day was because we had been invited to a cookout at the home of an old friend of mine.  As I mentioned above, Christi was under the weather.  So I took all the kids to the cookout by myself.  It went unbelievably well!  Without any prompting from me, the older kids really took it upon themselves to help me out since mom wasn't there.  They were so polite, so helpful with their younger siblings, and so good to volunteer help with clean up after the meal was done.  I was a proud papa!

Overheard at the pool today

Random little girl:  Why don't you have arms?

Sophi:  Because I just don't!

little girl:  (making chopping motions toward shoulders) Did somebody chop them off?

Sophi:  Yes.

little girl:  Who?

Sophi:  My mommy!

Lovin' Grandpa

We've spent this weekend at Christi's parents house in Ferron. It's been great to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa and to relax (at least as much as it's possible to relax with eight kids at someone else's house)! The kids all have a ball here, and I must admit I'm one of the lucky few who actually looks forward to spending time with his in-laws. Yesterday we went down to the gym and had so much fun as a family. I played basketball with Taylor and Parker (and put out a few sibling rivalry fires along the way:). All four adults took turns pulling Jesi, Elli, Lexi and Sophi on these little four-wheeled scooter things. Taylor and Parker pulled me on one for awhile. Jesi, Xander, Graci, Christi and I took turns playing jump rope games. Jesi made up a broom-hockey type game that she, Parker, Christi, Grandpa, Grandma and I played. Of course Jesi's team ended up scoring about twice as many goals as my team. in other words, it was a really fun afternoon that everyone in the family got to enjoy. Great memories.

The highlight of the weekend was probably Sophi's reaction to her great grandpa (we call him Grandpa Great). Sophi is usually pretty shy around people she doesn't know very well, so we were quite surprised at how quickly she warmed up to Grandpa Great. She just became his little shadow. She wanted to be in his lap. She took his hand und her chin and tugged at him until he got up with her and went on a walk. She kept saying "we love each other" and cuddling up to him. (Sophi is not usually the cuddly type.) Then when Grandpa had to leave, Sophi kind of freaked out. It was just such a cute display of adoration for her Grandpa Great.

Families are such a blessing!

-Jeremy

Insight

Sophi and Lexi were fighting over the computer this morning.  These two have quite the little rivalry going.  Whether it's mommy's lap or a baby doll or the ipad, they always seem to go for the same thing at the same time, often with some whines and whimpers.  Today it was the computer at Grandma's house.  While I have no doubt they will both be proficient computer users at some point in the future, neither one of them has much capability at this point.  So they were just jockeying for position.  Fighting for power.  As I sometimes do, I had partially tuned them out.  I absentmindedly said, "Lexi, you can't play with Grandma's computer, ok?"  Then I heard this conversation:

Sophi: "Lexi, you can just watch me play the computer, ok?"

Lexi: "Sophi, I can't see.  I watch with my hands!"

Pretty clever girl:)

-Jeremy

Daddy's Little Girl

Every night each of our children expects to be "tucked in."  This is a very specific routine in our family, and one that I find great joy in.  Sometimes before they get tucked in, the kids will ask for a "back ride" into bed.  This means I get on my hands and knees, let them climb on my back and crawl them into their bedroom.  Usually I ask them what animal they would like me to be, so I may be mooing or growling or barking as requested:)  Tonight, Lexi and Sophi asked for a back ride.  They were both right by me and they were both going to the same room, so a two-person ride seemed to make sense.  Until you think about the logistics....  Sophi did not want me to lift her on.  She wanted to climb on herself.  I had to get lower than usual and let her slither her way up.  She couldn't exactly hold on, so I just had her lay across my back with her chin kind of grasping my shoulder and her legs hanging over my ribs on the opposite side.  Then I had Lexi climb on but warned her not to sit on Sophi.  She got up the best she could, giggling the whole time.  Let's just say I had to crawl very slowly so as not to upset the delicate balance of the riders:)

Jesi went through a phase where she was a little less excited to show affection for her Daddy.  Fortunately, she seems to be a little less reticent about that at this point.  Tonight I had one of those magical moments with her that makes being a parent worth all of the challenges that can go with the job.  She wanted a back ride, but we were in the cramped hallway and very close to her room.  I suggested a princess carry instead.  The princess carry is when I cradle her in my arms and carry into her room.  Her face lit up and she nodded excitedly.  But instead of just having me pick her up right there and carry her the two steps into her bedroom, she got a mischievous grin on her face, turned around, and ran into the kitchen to the farthest spot she could find from her bedroom.  She wanted the longest princess carry she could get.  And of course, my princess got it!

Being a daddy is the best job in the whole wide world:)

Pizza Lovers!

Yesterday was one of those crazy days.  Baseball practices and dance are pretty normal, but as an added prize we had a wedding reception to attend.  (Yes, on a Tuesday.)  It was for the daughter of one of my mom's very close friends, and Graci was asked to help serve.  Christi got Grace all gussied up to the point where I did a double take when I saw her.  Christi and Graci left for the reception while I was still running baseball practice for Taylor and Parker.  On my way home, Christi called and mentioned that things had been too rushed to get dinner ready and could I pick something up?  I rushed home, grabbed Xander and shuttled him to his baseball practice and then stopped at Little Ceasar's to get pizza and breadsticks.  Problem solved:)

After picking Xander up from practice and helping Parker get the littles to bed, I changed and hurried off to catch the tail end of the reception.  Both of my girls were working hard to help things run smoothly (and both were looking stunning!).  I enjoyed some good food and conversation.  At one point, Christi asked me what I had done for dinner.

"I picked up pizza!" I proudly proclaimed.

"Pizza?  Really?"

"Yes (a little less proud at this point).  Is there something wrong with that?"

"Well, I got them pizza last night, remember?"

At that point I did remember.  She had brought pizza to our baseball game last night and had eaten with the kids while watching the team play.  I never had any, so it kind of slipped my mind.  "What were you thinking I should get them?"

Christi answered, "I was thinking hamburgers or something.  Pizza for dinner two nights in a row.  Wow, we're great parents!"

At this point, Graci chimed in.  "Actually, yesterday was pizza day at school,  soooo...the kids had pizza for lunch AND dinner yesterday.  Then they got up and had leftover pizza for breakfast and for their after school snack today.  THEN they had pizza for dinner tonight."

WOW!

As I was fixing lunches this morning, Xander came in to get his breakfast.  There was no meandering today.  No searching for oatmeal or cereal or toast.  He made a beeline for exactly what he wanted...yesterday's leftover pizza....

Crazy Not To

How fantastic is the internet?  An endless supply of information at our fingertips 24 hours a day.  Communication possibilities that would have staggered the imagination just twenty years ago.  A virtual yard sale of unprecedented proportions.  The ability to donate money instantly to Haitian earthquake relief or cancer research or whatever cause might be near and dear to your heart.  My personal belief is that God watches over us and that some of those "serendipity" moments are less chance than a nudge in the right direction from a loving Father who wants the best for His children.  As with any other great invention or discovery, the potential for misuse abounds, and we must be cautious in our use of this now-indispensable tool.  But when we use it appropriately, what vast good can come of it.

I am, obviously, a bit biased, but I can't really see a more beautiful effect of the internet than the ability to look into the eyes of abandoned children throughout the world.  I am not a cat lover.  In fact, you might say I am a cat-despiser:)  Yet despite my allergies and dislike of felines, I could not turn away an unfortunate kitten that recently showed up on our doorstep.  When I came face-to-face with this little lost creature, I invited it into our home, gave it a chance to warm up and even gave it a drink.  Encounters on such a personal level move people to action.  So it has been with me and with thousands of others who have opened their hearts and homes to adoption.

In January, we were looking at some of the precious children on one of the many waiting children lists available on the internet.  At that time, we were certainly not looking to add to our already large family.  And yet, the feelings of love and endearment started to penetrate my heart again.  Here were more innocent, deserving children yearning for a father and a mother.  Our home was full to bursting, and we certainly couldn't take on the challenges and burdens that come with this major-life-altering decision.  Yet we truly hoped that others would find a place in their lives for the blessings that come with these darling children of God.  And then...one of the great miracles of the internet once again worked in our lives.  We kept looking at those children.  We looked into their eyes.  We read of their hopes and dreams for a family.  We read of the prayers offered by many of them to be adopted.  And our hearts were softened.  We started thinking about how another one could fit.  We could adjust the sleeping arrangements just so.  It could work.  And then, as our hearts began to fill with love for two specific kids, it went further.  Our home isn't at all equipped for a wheelchair, but surely, having a mom and a dad and loving siblings is worth the adaptations Cali (and we) will have to make!  With 10 of us living here, it's already hard enough to keep the floors clear for our blind children.  With two more, including another one who can't see, won't that challenge skyrocket?  But surely, Conner will be happier tripping on toys from his younger brothers and sisters than shuffling over a clean tile floor from his huge group bedroom to the the community toilet in the orphanage!  (Guess you could argue the group bedroom and community toilet apply to us, too:)

And so, this miracle of the internet has launched us on the beautiful journey once again.  When people ask how many we plan on adopting, I honestly say we never plan on it.  When it's right, we do it.  It's that simple.  But without the internet, I don't know how we would have found the beauty that lies down this road. 

Taylor and Parker, my valiant, good, even majestic sons whom I hope to emulate someday, were similarly touched by the ability to look at these potential siblings half a word away.  When we called the two boys into our bedroom to let them know that we were considering adopting again, their first response was one of concern and fear.  Christi and I saw their faces drop as they thought of the logic and logistics of this decision.  Cramped quarters would become even more cramped.  Busy schedules even more busy.  And yet they didn't protest outright.  They listened as we described our experiences leading up to our consideration of these two new children.  After talking to them for awhile, we showed them the pictures and video we had of both Cali and Conner.  And that was basically it.  They melted.  They went to bed that night with a promise to think it over and pray.  Both boys came to us the next morning with huge smiles and an urgent plea to let the orphanages know that WE wanted to adopt Cali and Conner.  Don't waste any time, in case some other family calls first!  (By the way, it's easier to get the younger kids to buy into these things, and it took about zero effort to convince Graci that an 11-year-old, Chinese speaking girl would be a good addition to our family:)

A few weeks ago, I was talking with one of the boys.  We were discussing how some people might think (or even tell us!) that we're crazy.  I had a brief stroke of inspiration, and asked, "Thinking about the pictures, videos and write-ups of these two kids, would we be crazier to adopt them...or NOT to adopt them?"  His thoughtful response?  "Not to adopt them!"  And so we look forward with great anticipation to all of the happiness, craziness, disorganization, lack-of-sleep, culture shock, hugs, tears and everything else that we know is in store for us over the coming years.

Grateful always for the road we have chosen and for all those who continue to support us on it!

Famous Soph!

There's a member of our congregation that writes a regular column for the Salt Lake Tribune.  It is a rather tongue-in-cheek commentary on just about any and every subject you can think of.  His most recent article is about an experience he had with our sweet Sophi.  You can find the column here.

Enjoy:)

A snippet of my life

4:45-5:00

Try to have an important conversation on the phone.
Get interrupted 5 billion times.
Lock myself in the bathroom and turn the fan on.
Continue to talk and ignore the knocks and Sophi screaming outside the door.
Watch a piece of paper slide under the doorway.
Finish up my phone conversation.
Read the note:  "You have been invited to Rosella's Fashion Show.  Come right now to the living room."
Go to the living room.
Watch Jesi model four different outfits as Sophi accompanies her on air guitar.
Smile as Sophi rocks out.
Listen to Elli sing Mary Poppins songs at the top of her lungs from Xander's/Lexi's/Sophi's bedroom while jumping on the bed.  Smile and think how glad I am that she's not making trouble.
Wonder where Xander is.
Go downstairs to find him pulling all of the books off the bookshelf looking for his very overdue library book.
Get a phone call from the doctor, "Yes, we can call in a prescription for Jesi's strep."  (We knew that's what she had because the boys just got over it.)
Go upstairs and see that Sophi has been playing "Taboo."  By playing, I mean that she has dumped out all the cards and neatly folded a good portion of them in half.  Wonder if I should just throw the game away.
Walk by X's/L's/S's room to find Elli still singing, and totally naked.
Contemplate shooting myself for forgetting to pin her clothes together when she got off the bus.
Put a new pull-up on Elli and try to figure out what blankets/sheets need to be washed.
Look outside and wonder if the boys are getting rained out at their scrimmage.
Walk into the kitchen and realize the kids have been walking through the pile of red hair left on the floor after Parker's after-school haircut.  Take a deep breath, then turn around and ignore it.
Tell Jesi that yes, she can have cereal, as long as she gets some for Lexi, Xander, and Sophi and will let me have 15 minutes of peace in my bedroom.
Feel glad that she finally feels like eating.
Realize I shouldn't have let them all have cereal so close to dinnertime-- ugh.
Realize that cereal could just be their dinner-- score!
Go into my room to find Graci has confiscated the computer for homework.
Kick Graci off computer.
Write this little post.
Listen to Sophi calling me that she's done.
Know it's time to go and clean up that hair.
The end.
 

My Sidekick

I am in love with our little Sophi.  As it turns out, I'm not the only one!  Everywhere we go, she steals people's hearts.  I feel like I have a little rock star with me!  Yesterday I got an email from a sweet blog reader.  Apparently, her daughter, Ellie, is smitten with Soph.  Ellie even drew her a picture, and I printed it out-- Sophi loved it!  Along with the picture were several questions about Sophi.  How does she wear a backpack?  How does she get her underwear on?  How does she eat?

All good questions, so I thought it was time for a Sophi post.

For new readers out there, Sophi was not only born without arms, but she was also born missing her right fibula.  This makes her right leg significantly shorter than her left, and weaker too.  We didn't know if she would ever be able to walk and we were thrilled to get her an electric wheelchair that had a joystick she could maneuver with her toes.  Just months later, we were even more thrilled when Sophi took her first steps.  Since then, there is no stopping her!  She can jump and walk up very shallow stairs and gets along great.  She usually doesn't wear shoes because it is like putting shoes on your hands, but when she does, she wears special shoes made just for her by Shriner's.  The right shoe has a lift that balances out her legs quite a bit.  She also wears a brace inside the shoe to give her more ankle support.

To answer Ellie's specific questions:

A backpack-- I usually carry it for her.  When she wants to carry it herself, she either does it with her chin, or I put one strap across her head and shoulder (like a banner.)

Getting on underwear-- Believe it or not, Sophi can pretty much put those on by herself!  She uses her feet to lay them out right, and then takes turns using each foot to pull them up high.  Once she gets them up high enough, she spreads out her legs and somehow wriggles her way into them.  They don't always go on perfectly, but it's still pretty impressive, if you ask me!

Eating-- Sophi is amazing with her little toes.  A wonderful guy named Kevin found a second-hand chair that was the exact height as our table.  He added a strap onto it so we wouldn't have to worry about her falling.  Being flush with the table makes it so much easier for her to feed herself.   She uses a fork and spoon just as well as any other three year old.  She has even used chopsticks by herself before!  The thing that is the most fun to watch is when she eats ice-cream cones-- with one foot!

Sophi can work an ipad like a pro, paint her own nails, brush her own teeth, and give the sweetest hugs in the world.   She can also throw an awesome tantrum, change moods at the drop of the hat, and talk incessantly, but we'll try to brush over that here...

I cannot believe that I am the one blessed to call her my daughter.  She is absolutely ADORED.

She loves to be like Mommy!

Eating Oreos

Thanks, Ellie!

Her special chair

This is what happens when you leave her alone with her yogurt!

She has Grandpa smitten too!

Playing peek-a-boo with her baby

Eating breakfast at the bar

You can kind of see her lifted shoe in this pic.

Waiting for the bus

Her favorite doll-- from Aunt Leslie

This is from a year ago-- it was the only one  I could find of her eating an ice-cream cone.  She can even do the regular cake cones with one foot!