Jesi and Grace are the cutest little travelers. They have been bright-eyed and bushy tailed since 3:20 this morning when we woke them up. They are so excited to be going back to China. Jesi particularly seems to soak everything up. Grandma and Grandpa Nelson gave each of the girls some spending money before we left. They are so cute as they look at different things they could buy and weigh their options against possible treasures to be had once we get to our destination.
The other night I had a beautiful experience. It was just a simple thing, really, but made me feel humbled to be a dad to such wonderful kids. Graci was gone to a church activity and I was tucking Jess into bed. As I stood there, I noticed a piece of paper on Graci's top bunk. I started to read it. It was a theoretical letter from our Heavenly Father to one of his children. It talked about how much He loved her and how much He enjoyed hearing from her through prayer. My heart was touched as I thought of my precious Graci reading this in her bed. Thinking about her uniquely difficult and wonderful life. Grateful that I have been blessed to be a part of Heavenly Father's plan for her.
As I thought about this, my mind reflected on something I heard in a recent General Conference. I can't remember who said it, but it was along these lines: "someday those who minister to children with special needs in this life will find that they are ministering to them in the next life as well because these special spirits are noble and great and valiant."
I loved both of these thoughts. I particularly thought of Graci and Elli, but these principles apply to all of our children. What a privilege to spend a few of my years on earth helping them to reach their amazing potential. How excited I am to learn more about what Cali has in store for her!!!
Jeremy
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Off We Go!
Sitting on a United Airlines flight from LAX to SFO. Yes, we have to fly from Salt Lake to Los Angeles to San Francisco before we can fly to Shanghai. Do you ever wonder who decides to charge you less for flying more legs and 600 more miles?
I had saved up some vacation days and had Friday, Monday and Tuesday off. Thought this would give me lots of time to get ready and we could get a good night's sleep before we left. Then we invited some wonderful people to our home for the weekend. Something about having a camera crew following your every move (and requesting this shot and that) does not lend itself to lots of preparation time. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that Graci can be a part of the documentary they're working on. It was just a much more exhausting experience than we anticipated. Anyway, the end result was I had to jam all of my last minute prep into one day...and one night. Since we had to leave at 3:30 am, I just never went to bed last night. Christi got about 1 hour of sleep. And thank heavens for Dean and LaRita. I don't know what we would have done if they hadn't been there helping with the kids.
But now we're on our way! Super-excited. Nauseatingly exhausted. Overwhelmed. Under-prepared. And trusting in God that it will all work out somehow. We love you Cali! We're coming! See you soon!!!
Love,
Dad
I had saved up some vacation days and had Friday, Monday and Tuesday off. Thought this would give me lots of time to get ready and we could get a good night's sleep before we left. Then we invited some wonderful people to our home for the weekend. Something about having a camera crew following your every move (and requesting this shot and that) does not lend itself to lots of preparation time. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that Graci can be a part of the documentary they're working on. It was just a much more exhausting experience than we anticipated. Anyway, the end result was I had to jam all of my last minute prep into one day...and one night. Since we had to leave at 3:30 am, I just never went to bed last night. Christi got about 1 hour of sleep. And thank heavens for Dean and LaRita. I don't know what we would have done if they hadn't been there helping with the kids.
But now we're on our way! Super-excited. Nauseatingly exhausted. Overwhelmed. Under-prepared. And trusting in God that it will all work out somehow. We love you Cali! We're coming! See you soon!!!
Love,
Dad
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Luke Steven Davis
I have been weepy all morning. I just found out that a ward (congregation) member lost their sweet baby boy last night-- born at 20 1/2 weeks gestation. Of course, it has brings a flood of memories and emotions from the loss of our own two sweet babies. A friend of mine asked me if I had some insight on what she could do for this family. While I can't know exactly what they is going through (everyone has different circumstances surrounding their grief) I did have a lot of thoughts come to me. I thought it might be good to write them here, in case anyone else out there knows someone going through the same thing.
I was blessed to have the most amazing friends and family rally around us through our losses. I am going to copy and paste one of my blog entries about one act of service that was done for our family at the bottom of this. It involved turning our mess of a home into a place where we could feel the Spirit and have some peace. Besides this huge act of service, these are some of the things that meant the most to us at that time:
A friend made a beautiful white dress for Emily to be buried in.
A sister-in-law crocheted beautiful, tiny blankets.
We were given the sweetest little stuffed animals (made for dolls, I believe)-- one to bury with Jacob/Emily, and one to keep for ourselves as a momento.
We were given keepsake boxes to keep all of the memories of that time in-- hospital bracelets, photos, cards, pieces of fabric from blankets/clothes, etc.
I remember well the thoughtfulness of someone we hardly knew (a friend of my mother-in-law) who had a little heart box made with Jacob's name on it. Seeing his name on the box was so precious to me-- it helped me know that other people realized that he was indeed a person, with a name. It was super validating.
We were given CD's of beautiful, uplifting music that I played almost non-stop.
We were given beautiful Willow Tree angels.
So many meals... a HUGE blessing.
Someone dropped a box of paper goods off at our door, with a note saying that they didn't want me washing dishes for awhile. That was such a tender gesture to me.
Lots of cards in the mail. I treasured every one.
Homemade matching bracelets for me, Jessica, and Emily.
Scrapbook materials to make a little scrapbook of their lives. The ladies who gave them to me lovingly cut out any sticker/embellishment that didn't pertain to us (things like "giggles," "first smile," etc.)
Babysitting-- this was a big blessing. It is so hard to grieve when you are taking care of little kids. Picking my kids up for a couple of hours to go on an outing was so good for them and for me.
Flowers. My mom and our friends, the Merediths, still sometimes send flowers on their birthdays. It means so much.
Hugs.
"I'm so sorry," is always appropriate. No, "I know exactly what you're going through," "It was meant to be," or "I'm sure you'll have another baby." Though don't worry too much about saying the wrong thing-- I think it was better for me to have someone say the wrong thing than not acknowledge what had happened. People know that you are well-intentioned and trying to help. (:
Gifts for their gravesides-- pinwheels, little statues, etc.
As therapy and to give back, I wanted to make some tiny blankets for the hospital to give to other parents who lost a baby that was so tiny. Normal infant blankets were so big-- these blankets needed to be much smaller-- maybe 18 inches square. I told my friends at church, and many of them made blankets and brought them over. I attached little notes that said, "For your tiny angel-- in memory of my own."
These are just some things off the top of my head. I am so grateful for such caring people who loved us through these super difficult times. If you are one of them, THANK YOU.
I also had a couple of other thoughts on how to act with someone who is going through a loss like this. I know that everyone feels differently-- this is just how I felt. I personally wasn't able to talk on the phone for a LONG time with the exception of maybe one or two people. But I did read my emails and really appreciated them. It was a good way to communicate for me. I liked when people asked me, "Would you like a meal or would you like (insert another service)"... giving me a choice rather than just a blanket, "What can I do?" Also, many people were nervous to talk about it all with me, even for a long time afterward. I really appreciated when people would not only talk about it, but also mention our babies by name. I know that there is the worry that you will bring up something that is hard and makes someone sad, but trust me-- parents who lose a child are thinking about them ALL THE TIME. You don't need to worry about "reminding" them. For me, at least, it was and is ALWAYS good to talk about them. It makes me know that other people are thinking of them too, and remembering them. So important.
If you are interested, you can read more about our Jacob and Emily by clicking on their names on the left sidebar under "Labels". Here is the entry I talked about:
Sept 28, 2008
Well, I wasn't really going to journal about Emily-- because the emotions are still so personal and even if I wanted to share them, I really don't have the words. But I've been looking at her slideshow over and over, reminiscing about the days surrounding her birth and I thought it may be therapeutic to write down just a couple of the sweet experiences I was given during such a hard time.
I found out that Emily had passed away just a couple of weeks after finding out we were having a girl. I had been on blood thinner (after Jacob's birth/death we found out I had a blood clotting disorder) and so the doctors wanted me to wait 48 hours before delivering her so I could get the blood thinner out of my system. So for two days, I knew she wasn't alive-- but was sent home without delivering her. Those two days were, in a word, a nightmare. I was completely dysfunctional and my house completely fell apart. I had just gotten a large box of maternity clothes from my sister and that first night I threw the clothes, one by one, around the room in a mad rage. I didn't pick up one toy or one diaper or one dish or do ANYTHING besides try to make arrangements for her casket, dress, etc. Needless to say, my house (which wasn't clean to begin with) looked like it had been hit with a tornado.
When I was in the hospital, a dear friend came and borrowed a key from Jeremy. I guess a phone call from one church friend to another quickly spread, and when she arrived at our home with the key, mini-vans were lined up around the block to my home. It was lovingly dubbed "The Mormon Minivan Brigade." My house was not only cleaned and organized top to bottom, but all my laundry (we're talking LOADS) was done and the kitchen stocked. I was at first hugely embarrassed, but soon realized what an AMAZING blessing had been given to me. A friend kept the kids the first night we came home from the hospital, and instead of spending time trying to get my house in some kind of order after just giving birth, I was able to sit down with Jeremy in my beautiful home and BREATHE. We spent the night eating a wonderful dinner, looking through scrapbooks, listening to uplifting music-- and before the night was over I felt so much peace. So THAT was a beautiful, tender mercy of the Lord. Thank-you, my dear Tennessee friends.
The morning I went to deliver Emily I went into a total panic because I couldn't find our camera. I knew from Jacob how precious pictures would become and became nearly hysterical when it was time to leave and I still couldn't find it. Jeremy ended up going next door and borrowing the neighbor's. We took at least 50 pictures of her at the hospital, and more later at the funeral home when we let Taylor and Parker hold her. I needed to develop the pictures quickly so I could return the camera, so I went to Walmart's one hour photo. As I pulled into the parking lot to pick them up, I starting having a panic attack. I seriously felt like I couldn't breathe. Up to this point I hadn't really talked to anyone-- I was staying holed up in my room-- and was just a mess around people. I was so worried that I would go up to the counter and some young teenager would pull my photos out of the envelope for all to see and I would have to actually have to have a conversation about the pics and try to explain it and I was just PANICKED. Those pictures were, and still are, so precious and sacred to me and I didn't want just anyone to see them. I seriously felt like I would die if I had to look at them with other people around. Well, I tried to control my hysteria and finally made my way to the back of the store. There was a HUGE line. They were totally busy. PANIC!!! How was I not going to have a complete meltdown in the store? I said a little prayer in my heart and just cringed as I watched the person behind the counter pull out and flip through the pictures of everyone in front of me (making sure they were the right pics and they were happy with them). I finally reached the counter and gave her my slip.
She pulled out a big fat envelope with a sticker on it that said $0.00 and handed it over to me without opening it. She said, "It looks like there's no charge on these. Please have a good day."
I was able to walk out of the store without saying a word.
Whoever had decided not to charge me for the pictures, also printed doubles and THREE digital CDs.
A tender mercy.
I felt loved.
I knew then, beyond a doubt, that my Father in Heaven was aware of my every need. That He knew me and was holding me and was hurting for me. It was the simplest gesture-- worth just a few dollars, but it has never left me. It has made me wonder how often we are the hands of the Lord. How often does He work through us to accomplish His great purposes. I have often thought about that compassionate person in the store who didn't charge me for my pictures. So grateful he or she did what the Savior would do if He were here.
Am I still enough to hear His promptings? Am I in tune enough to help Him answer the prayers of others?
A lot to think about. I am so so thankful for my darling Emily Anne and the lessons that I have learned through her short little life. These are just two of the sweet experiences I have had because of her. She has impacted my life in a profound way. I will absolutely never be the same because of her, and I am so humbled to have her in my life. Thank-you Emily, for all you have given me. You and Jacob have done a tremendous work here on this earth. Thank-you for leading us to China, and for lighting the way home to heaven. You are my surety with God-- there is nothing I wouldn't do to be worthy to live with you again. I love you.
I was blessed to have the most amazing friends and family rally around us through our losses. I am going to copy and paste one of my blog entries about one act of service that was done for our family at the bottom of this. It involved turning our mess of a home into a place where we could feel the Spirit and have some peace. Besides this huge act of service, these are some of the things that meant the most to us at that time:
A friend made a beautiful white dress for Emily to be buried in.
A sister-in-law crocheted beautiful, tiny blankets.
We were given the sweetest little stuffed animals (made for dolls, I believe)-- one to bury with Jacob/Emily, and one to keep for ourselves as a momento.
We were given keepsake boxes to keep all of the memories of that time in-- hospital bracelets, photos, cards, pieces of fabric from blankets/clothes, etc.
I remember well the thoughtfulness of someone we hardly knew (a friend of my mother-in-law) who had a little heart box made with Jacob's name on it. Seeing his name on the box was so precious to me-- it helped me know that other people realized that he was indeed a person, with a name. It was super validating.
We were given CD's of beautiful, uplifting music that I played almost non-stop.
We were given beautiful Willow Tree angels.
So many meals... a HUGE blessing.
Someone dropped a box of paper goods off at our door, with a note saying that they didn't want me washing dishes for awhile. That was such a tender gesture to me.
Lots of cards in the mail. I treasured every one.
Homemade matching bracelets for me, Jessica, and Emily.
Scrapbook materials to make a little scrapbook of their lives. The ladies who gave them to me lovingly cut out any sticker/embellishment that didn't pertain to us (things like "giggles," "first smile," etc.)
Babysitting-- this was a big blessing. It is so hard to grieve when you are taking care of little kids. Picking my kids up for a couple of hours to go on an outing was so good for them and for me.
Flowers. My mom and our friends, the Merediths, still sometimes send flowers on their birthdays. It means so much.
Hugs.
"I'm so sorry," is always appropriate. No, "I know exactly what you're going through," "It was meant to be," or "I'm sure you'll have another baby." Though don't worry too much about saying the wrong thing-- I think it was better for me to have someone say the wrong thing than not acknowledge what had happened. People know that you are well-intentioned and trying to help. (:
Gifts for their gravesides-- pinwheels, little statues, etc.
As therapy and to give back, I wanted to make some tiny blankets for the hospital to give to other parents who lost a baby that was so tiny. Normal infant blankets were so big-- these blankets needed to be much smaller-- maybe 18 inches square. I told my friends at church, and many of them made blankets and brought them over. I attached little notes that said, "For your tiny angel-- in memory of my own."
These are just some things off the top of my head. I am so grateful for such caring people who loved us through these super difficult times. If you are one of them, THANK YOU.
I also had a couple of other thoughts on how to act with someone who is going through a loss like this. I know that everyone feels differently-- this is just how I felt. I personally wasn't able to talk on the phone for a LONG time with the exception of maybe one or two people. But I did read my emails and really appreciated them. It was a good way to communicate for me. I liked when people asked me, "Would you like a meal or would you like (insert another service)"... giving me a choice rather than just a blanket, "What can I do?" Also, many people were nervous to talk about it all with me, even for a long time afterward. I really appreciated when people would not only talk about it, but also mention our babies by name. I know that there is the worry that you will bring up something that is hard and makes someone sad, but trust me-- parents who lose a child are thinking about them ALL THE TIME. You don't need to worry about "reminding" them. For me, at least, it was and is ALWAYS good to talk about them. It makes me know that other people are thinking of them too, and remembering them. So important.
If you are interested, you can read more about our Jacob and Emily by clicking on their names on the left sidebar under "Labels". Here is the entry I talked about:
Sept 28, 2008
Well, I wasn't really going to journal about Emily-- because the emotions are still so personal and even if I wanted to share them, I really don't have the words. But I've been looking at her slideshow over and over, reminiscing about the days surrounding her birth and I thought it may be therapeutic to write down just a couple of the sweet experiences I was given during such a hard time.
I found out that Emily had passed away just a couple of weeks after finding out we were having a girl. I had been on blood thinner (after Jacob's birth/death we found out I had a blood clotting disorder) and so the doctors wanted me to wait 48 hours before delivering her so I could get the blood thinner out of my system. So for two days, I knew she wasn't alive-- but was sent home without delivering her. Those two days were, in a word, a nightmare. I was completely dysfunctional and my house completely fell apart. I had just gotten a large box of maternity clothes from my sister and that first night I threw the clothes, one by one, around the room in a mad rage. I didn't pick up one toy or one diaper or one dish or do ANYTHING besides try to make arrangements for her casket, dress, etc. Needless to say, my house (which wasn't clean to begin with) looked like it had been hit with a tornado.
When I was in the hospital, a dear friend came and borrowed a key from Jeremy. I guess a phone call from one church friend to another quickly spread, and when she arrived at our home with the key, mini-vans were lined up around the block to my home. It was lovingly dubbed "The Mormon Minivan Brigade." My house was not only cleaned and organized top to bottom, but all my laundry (we're talking LOADS) was done and the kitchen stocked. I was at first hugely embarrassed, but soon realized what an AMAZING blessing had been given to me. A friend kept the kids the first night we came home from the hospital, and instead of spending time trying to get my house in some kind of order after just giving birth, I was able to sit down with Jeremy in my beautiful home and BREATHE. We spent the night eating a wonderful dinner, looking through scrapbooks, listening to uplifting music-- and before the night was over I felt so much peace. So THAT was a beautiful, tender mercy of the Lord. Thank-you, my dear Tennessee friends.
The morning I went to deliver Emily I went into a total panic because I couldn't find our camera. I knew from Jacob how precious pictures would become and became nearly hysterical when it was time to leave and I still couldn't find it. Jeremy ended up going next door and borrowing the neighbor's. We took at least 50 pictures of her at the hospital, and more later at the funeral home when we let Taylor and Parker hold her. I needed to develop the pictures quickly so I could return the camera, so I went to Walmart's one hour photo. As I pulled into the parking lot to pick them up, I starting having a panic attack. I seriously felt like I couldn't breathe. Up to this point I hadn't really talked to anyone-- I was staying holed up in my room-- and was just a mess around people. I was so worried that I would go up to the counter and some young teenager would pull my photos out of the envelope for all to see and I would have to actually have to have a conversation about the pics and try to explain it and I was just PANICKED. Those pictures were, and still are, so precious and sacred to me and I didn't want just anyone to see them. I seriously felt like I would die if I had to look at them with other people around. Well, I tried to control my hysteria and finally made my way to the back of the store. There was a HUGE line. They were totally busy. PANIC!!! How was I not going to have a complete meltdown in the store? I said a little prayer in my heart and just cringed as I watched the person behind the counter pull out and flip through the pictures of everyone in front of me (making sure they were the right pics and they were happy with them). I finally reached the counter and gave her my slip.
She pulled out a big fat envelope with a sticker on it that said $0.00 and handed it over to me without opening it. She said, "It looks like there's no charge on these. Please have a good day."
I was able to walk out of the store without saying a word.
Whoever had decided not to charge me for the pictures, also printed doubles and THREE digital CDs.
A tender mercy.
I felt loved.
I knew then, beyond a doubt, that my Father in Heaven was aware of my every need. That He knew me and was holding me and was hurting for me. It was the simplest gesture-- worth just a few dollars, but it has never left me. It has made me wonder how often we are the hands of the Lord. How often does He work through us to accomplish His great purposes. I have often thought about that compassionate person in the store who didn't charge me for my pictures. So grateful he or she did what the Savior would do if He were here.
Am I still enough to hear His promptings? Am I in tune enough to help Him answer the prayers of others?
A lot to think about. I am so so thankful for my darling Emily Anne and the lessons that I have learned through her short little life. These are just two of the sweet experiences I have had because of her. She has impacted my life in a profound way. I will absolutely never be the same because of her, and I am so humbled to have her in my life. Thank-you Emily, for all you have given me. You and Jacob have done a tremendous work here on this earth. Thank-you for leading us to China, and for lighting the way home to heaven. You are my surety with God-- there is nothing I wouldn't do to be worthy to live with you again. I love you.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Yay for role models!
The first time Sophi watched Tisha Unarmed on youtube, she said, "She's a Sophi!" It was magical seeing someone like herself doing everyday tasks the same way she does. She often asks now to watch "my Tisha." I really think that Tisha has given her a new excitement about her life. Tonight, Jeremy was playing with her and said, "You're Sophi Unarmed-- like Tisha Unarmed!"
Sophi, a big smile spreading across her face-- "Yeah! 'Cause we can do everythings!"
Love that confidence!
Sophi, a big smile spreading across her face-- "Yeah! 'Cause we can do everythings!"
Love that confidence!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Ramblings
It's after 11 p.m. I just got back from a last minute run to the store. I don't think a Thanksgiving goes by that one of us doesn't have to do one of those Wednesday night runs. I always enjoy this particular shopping trip. I can look around at all of the people at the store and feel a certain kinship with them. In my mind, they are either very busy, a little forgetful, not super organized, or just laid back about holiday plans. Because I'm a combination of all of these things, it makes me happy to be around others that I feel I can relate to-- even if it's just in my head and their lives are totally perfect and under control! (:
Speaking of being busy and unorganized-- The house is a mess. I've spent most of the day at the computer trying to come up with airfare prices that just aren't going to happen! When I spend so much time at the computer, the house seems to fall apart. Today, Xander made about 5 batches each of popcorn and homemade lemonade. The evidence is all over the house. Lexi and Sophi played with virtually every toy they could find. Elli made Elli messes. Graci and Jesi played dress up and make-believe most of the day long. The kids helped themselves to breakfast and lunch and snacks. Jeremy's in the kitchen trying to make pumpkin pies with the boys without any clean counter space. Yeah... the house isn't looking too hot! And I don't even have tickets to show for it because I can't get myself to pay the prices I'm being quoted.
Speaking of expensive tickets-- our adoption dates have changed! It's a super long story-- suffice it to say, these new dates will be better for Cali, and she's the most important. We will be leaving in two weeks from today instead of one. Now that I've had a day to wrap my head around the changes, I am excited for the extra time to prepare. I am SOOOOOOO excited to go to China! For some reason it became very real for me today! I am just giddy thinking about this trip and how much I love our Cali. I know we are in for a big rollercoaster ride of ups and downs and twists and turns-- and I'm so excited to ride it!!!
Speaking of adoption-- there is an article in the Deseret News right now about our family and the WONDERFUL, AMAZING people who are trying to help us build a new home. Despite the very unflattering picture of me, (seriously, I look pregnant) I am so excited for this article and its potential to really spread the word. We've had some fabulous, selfless people step forward and offer enormous amounts of time and services, but the fundraising end still really needs some help. So thank you, Deseret News!!! (And THANK YOU anyone who happens to be reading this and has donated-- you haven't gone unnoticed-- we are so humbled by your support.) Even more than helping Puzzle Them Home, I hope the article is a way to open people's hearts to these beautiful children who need homes.
Speaking of children who need homes-- for the record, the section in the article where it says that we adopt "the children nobody else wants" was not my choice of words. I understand what she was trying to say-- that we do tend to adopt the harder-to-place children and have in fact been matched with some of these kids right as their files were being sent back to China-- but the wording didn't quite come across right. We know that there are many, many people out there who would give anything to adopt beautiful children like ours regardless of any special needs, but cannot for various good reasons. My heart goes out to people who yearn for a child and have roadblocks in their way.
Speaking or roadblocks-- my brain has just stopped working. I think it's time to sign off!
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I am so thankful for this beautiful, messy life that is mine! And I am so thankful for friends and family like you-- love you all!
Speaking of being busy and unorganized-- The house is a mess. I've spent most of the day at the computer trying to come up with airfare prices that just aren't going to happen! When I spend so much time at the computer, the house seems to fall apart. Today, Xander made about 5 batches each of popcorn and homemade lemonade. The evidence is all over the house. Lexi and Sophi played with virtually every toy they could find. Elli made Elli messes. Graci and Jesi played dress up and make-believe most of the day long. The kids helped themselves to breakfast and lunch and snacks. Jeremy's in the kitchen trying to make pumpkin pies with the boys without any clean counter space. Yeah... the house isn't looking too hot! And I don't even have tickets to show for it because I can't get myself to pay the prices I'm being quoted.
Speaking of expensive tickets-- our adoption dates have changed! It's a super long story-- suffice it to say, these new dates will be better for Cali, and she's the most important. We will be leaving in two weeks from today instead of one. Now that I've had a day to wrap my head around the changes, I am excited for the extra time to prepare. I am SOOOOOOO excited to go to China! For some reason it became very real for me today! I am just giddy thinking about this trip and how much I love our Cali. I know we are in for a big rollercoaster ride of ups and downs and twists and turns-- and I'm so excited to ride it!!!
Speaking of adoption-- there is an article in the Deseret News right now about our family and the WONDERFUL, AMAZING people who are trying to help us build a new home. Despite the very unflattering picture of me, (seriously, I look pregnant) I am so excited for this article and its potential to really spread the word. We've had some fabulous, selfless people step forward and offer enormous amounts of time and services, but the fundraising end still really needs some help. So thank you, Deseret News!!! (And THANK YOU anyone who happens to be reading this and has donated-- you haven't gone unnoticed-- we are so humbled by your support.) Even more than helping Puzzle Them Home, I hope the article is a way to open people's hearts to these beautiful children who need homes.
Speaking of children who need homes-- for the record, the section in the article where it says that we adopt "the children nobody else wants" was not my choice of words. I understand what she was trying to say-- that we do tend to adopt the harder-to-place children and have in fact been matched with some of these kids right as their files were being sent back to China-- but the wording didn't quite come across right. We know that there are many, many people out there who would give anything to adopt beautiful children like ours regardless of any special needs, but cannot for various good reasons. My heart goes out to people who yearn for a child and have roadblocks in their way.
Speaking or roadblocks-- my brain has just stopped working. I think it's time to sign off!
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I am so thankful for this beautiful, messy life that is mine! And I am so thankful for friends and family like you-- love you all!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Common Sense
Tonight Jesi was laying across my lap while I scratched her back. As she enjoyed the massage she looked up at me and said, with a dreamy look in her eyes, "Am I in heaven?" I grinned as I thought about how much Christi likes her back scratched. I said to Jesi, "You are your mother's daughter!" She looked up at me with pity in her eyes, wondering how she had such a dolt for a father, and replied, "Well...yes. I am. She's my mom."
Jer
Jer
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Darling Parker and some fun news!
Parker turned 12 on November 15th. This young man is really something special. He's been acting 12 for a long time-- he's mature and talented and responsible beyond his age. We couldn't be blessed with a more wonderful son. When we first found out we were pregnant with him, we were quite surprised. I didn't know how I would be able to handle two boys so close together. As it turns out, Heavenly Father knew exactly when Parker needed to be born and how wonderful it would be to have these two boys so close together. They are the best of friends and their personalities compliment each other perfectly. Jeremy and I obviously love each of our children with all of our hearts. They all have our hearts in different ways and each one is so very special. But this road we have chosen, with so many kids and so many different needs, can be very difficult and taxing and overwhelming. We are grateful beyond words for these two boys-- we couldn't ask for better friends to go on this journey with. We couldn't do it without them.
Parker is just plain awesome! He is particularly sensitive to the emotions of others. He notices when I need a hug and he is often the first to respond when a sibling needs help. He is talented and funny and obedient and kind-hearted. He has liked girls since the day he was born and will make the world's greatest husband! (; He's always the first one to notice if I'm wearing a new shade of make-up or just got a haircut (which, by the way, I'm WAY overdue for!)
When I called Parker from the store to ask what he wanted for his birthday breakfast, he replied, "Um, can you call Grandpa and ask him for the recipe for his breakfast casserole?" I thought that was cute. (: These kids love their birthday breakfasts because basically the only time I cook breakfast in the mornings (we do often have "breakfast" for dinner) are on birthdays and conference weekends. He also got his favorite dinner, fettuccini alfredo, and carrot cake for dessert. My favorites, too-- yum!
Today, Parker was given his best birthday gift-- the priesthood. In our church, worthy young men are ordained to the office of a deacon at the age of 12 and receive the Aaronic Priesthood. My parents drove up to be here for the special occasion, and my brother, Matthew, his wife, Megan, and beautiful baby girl, Emery, came as well. Mom and Dad not only came, but they came with dinner and dessert as well. Yes, I am one very spoiled daughter. (:
We love you, our sweet Parker! Can't imagine our lives without you in it... We are beyond blessed to have YOU for a son!
And, some really fun news...
Drumroll...
We FINALLY got our travel approval! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!! We will be leaving next week to get our Cali Rose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're just a little bit excited-- can you tell??!!!!
I have so much to do to get ready, it makes my head spin to think about it! I'm so glad that there is fun in the preparation and something so exciting and beautiful at the end of it all! This young lady has waited and prayed for a family for way too long. I cannot wait to get my arms around her and kiss those beautiful round cheeks. I'm getting emotional just thinking of it. She just belongs.
I know that these next few days will be full of so many feelings for her-- and likely the biggest one is fear. Can you imagine at the tender age of 12, leaving everything you know behind-- even if it's for a better life? A new language, culture, friends, food, and family. Any one of those things is overwhelming-- put them all together and I can't imagine where her thoughts are right now. So if you think to remember her in your prayers during these next couple of weeks, we would be so grateful.
Parker is just plain awesome! He is particularly sensitive to the emotions of others. He notices when I need a hug and he is often the first to respond when a sibling needs help. He is talented and funny and obedient and kind-hearted. He has liked girls since the day he was born and will make the world's greatest husband! (; He's always the first one to notice if I'm wearing a new shade of make-up or just got a haircut (which, by the way, I'm WAY overdue for!)
When I called Parker from the store to ask what he wanted for his birthday breakfast, he replied, "Um, can you call Grandpa and ask him for the recipe for his breakfast casserole?" I thought that was cute. (: These kids love their birthday breakfasts because basically the only time I cook breakfast in the mornings (we do often have "breakfast" for dinner) are on birthdays and conference weekends. He also got his favorite dinner, fettuccini alfredo, and carrot cake for dessert. My favorites, too-- yum!
Today, Parker was given his best birthday gift-- the priesthood. In our church, worthy young men are ordained to the office of a deacon at the age of 12 and receive the Aaronic Priesthood. My parents drove up to be here for the special occasion, and my brother, Matthew, his wife, Megan, and beautiful baby girl, Emery, came as well. Mom and Dad not only came, but they came with dinner and dessert as well. Yes, I am one very spoiled daughter. (:
We love you, our sweet Parker! Can't imagine our lives without you in it... We are beyond blessed to have YOU for a son!
And, some really fun news...
Drumroll...
We FINALLY got our travel approval! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!! We will be leaving next week to get our Cali Rose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're just a little bit excited-- can you tell??!!!!
I have so much to do to get ready, it makes my head spin to think about it! I'm so glad that there is fun in the preparation and something so exciting and beautiful at the end of it all! This young lady has waited and prayed for a family for way too long. I cannot wait to get my arms around her and kiss those beautiful round cheeks. I'm getting emotional just thinking of it. She just belongs.
I know that these next few days will be full of so many feelings for her-- and likely the biggest one is fear. Can you imagine at the tender age of 12, leaving everything you know behind-- even if it's for a better life? A new language, culture, friends, food, and family. Any one of those things is overwhelming-- put them all together and I can't imagine where her thoughts are right now. So if you think to remember her in your prayers during these next couple of weeks, we would be so grateful.
You're coming home, beautiful Cali. You're FINALLY COMING HOME.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Head On Over:)
Tonight Christi and I went to drop some things off for the fundraising event tomorrow. I had NO IDEA how much time and effort so many people have put into this. These sweet ladies have been baking and sewing all week. Thank you so much to all of you!
Please, if you live in the area, consider stopping by Copper Tanning in Herriman and doing a little holiday shopping. We are so, so grateful and humbled by such sweet people.
Jeremy
Please, if you live in the area, consider stopping by Copper Tanning in Herriman and doing a little holiday shopping. We are so, so grateful and humbled by such sweet people.
Jeremy
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Time for a lesson on inner beauty?
Walking into Jesi's room and seeing Sophi on the floor putting necklaces on, I say, "Soph, what are you doing?" Sophi, sounding very flabbergasted, replies, "UGH! I am getting pretty!" Duh, Mom.
Later after doing her hair, she says, "MOMMY! (again exasperated) I not 'dorable yet! I need spray!!" I spray a little hairspray and she looks in the mirror, "See! Now I 'dorable!"
She then turns to look at me, her nose scrunched up in disapproval. "Mommy? You not beautiful yet today."
"Oh yeah?" I reply.
"Your hair's all messy and you not have your make-up on and you don't have cute clothes!"
"Can't I still be beautiful?" I ask.
"Mommy!! You're silly! You ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL!"
At least she gets points for honesty!
Later after doing her hair, she says, "MOMMY! (again exasperated) I not 'dorable yet! I need spray!!" I spray a little hairspray and she looks in the mirror, "See! Now I 'dorable!"
She then turns to look at me, her nose scrunched up in disapproval. "Mommy? You not beautiful yet today."
"Oh yeah?" I reply.
"Your hair's all messy and you not have your make-up on and you don't have cute clothes!"
"Can't I still be beautiful?" I ask.
"Mommy!! You're silly! You ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL!"
At least she gets points for honesty!
 | |||
| If you look at the top of Sophi's head, you'll notice where she gave herself a haircut, no doubt in trying to get 'dorable. |
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Mornings
I awoke this morning at 4:45 a.m. to the sounds of Sophi screaming that she needed to go potty. I was delirious with sleepiness. After taking her and settling her back down, I heard Lexi getting out of her bed and making her way to the bathroom as well. I waited to make sure I could hear her get back in her bed before trying to go back to sleep. By this time it was 5:05 and I began to worry whether Parker and Taylor would get up to their 5:10 a.m. alarm for 5:30 basketball practice. So I got up once again, found them up, and tried desperately to go back to sleep. I heard them quietly sneak out the door (they had a ride this morning-- thank goodness) and everything became quiet once again. Too quiet. I couldn't for the life of me fall back asleep even though I had gone to bed way too late. I laid there telling myself that I should get up and be productive, but my lazy side told me that I would only wake up the kids if I tried to get up. I had a million things on my mind and tried so hard to shove them out so I could get some desperately needed shut-eye. Finally at about 6:30 I dozed back to sleep, only to be awoken 15 minutes later by Sophi's alarming declaration as she came running into my room:
"Mommy! Mommy! It's an 'mergency! Call 911!"
"What's wrong, Soph?"
"Taylor is going to TATTLE!"
Ha. This is something I can't seem to get through her cute little head-- that announcing a tattle IS a tattle. (: I must say, she did put a smile on my face, which is always a good way to start one of our mornings. As I hurried around trying to get 8 kids out the door, I was struck by the tender mercy of how well our mornings are timed. Taylor, Graci, and Parker are picked up for junior high at 7:25. Then I have 20 more minutes to work on getting Jesi, Lexi, and Xander out the door. They are also picked up. As soon as they leave, I run down the stairs to get Elli out of her room and into the tub. As she is bathing, I start on Sophi. I have about 40 minutes to get Elli fed and ready and give her lots of one-on-one time before the bus picks her up around 8:30. Then I have 15 minutes to fix Sophi's hair and get her backpack ready and give her cuddles before the bus picks her up at 8:45 (Mondays and Fridays for her two hour preschool). On Tuesdays and Thursdays I get 10 extra minutes before taking her to her 9:00 a.m. neighborhood preschool. On Fridays, she's mine for the day. (:
After-school schedules are just as perfect. Sophi's home with me all afternoon. We leave to pick up the kids at 3:00. The junior high kids get out at 2:45 and walk up toward the elementary pick up place. Because we have a 12 passenger van, there are exactly enough seats to pick up all of my kiddos (minus Elli who goes to a different school) as well as the kids whose moms pick up in the morning (they each have 2 kids). I get home by 3:30 and have 40 minutes to go over backpacks and have some time with the kids before Elli gets dropped off at 4:10 (things get a bit more chaotic once Elli is here).
I am not sure how getting 8 kids off and back home could work more smoothly, time-wise. I'm so grateful that schedules don't conflict and we are able to time things just so. It's also perfect for the other two families in our carpool-- each of us only have to drive one way. Jeremy is usually able to be home in the morning and is making lunches and signing reading logs and walking kids out the door, which is also a huge blessing. That doesn't mean our mornings aren't super crazy sometimes (or always)... but they work!
It really is a tremendous blessing. I am so grateful!!!
I'm not even going to THINK about how things will change when Cali gets here... (:
Christianne
"Mommy! Mommy! It's an 'mergency! Call 911!"
"What's wrong, Soph?"
"Taylor is going to TATTLE!"
Ha. This is something I can't seem to get through her cute little head-- that announcing a tattle IS a tattle. (: I must say, she did put a smile on my face, which is always a good way to start one of our mornings. As I hurried around trying to get 8 kids out the door, I was struck by the tender mercy of how well our mornings are timed. Taylor, Graci, and Parker are picked up for junior high at 7:25. Then I have 20 more minutes to work on getting Jesi, Lexi, and Xander out the door. They are also picked up. As soon as they leave, I run down the stairs to get Elli out of her room and into the tub. As she is bathing, I start on Sophi. I have about 40 minutes to get Elli fed and ready and give her lots of one-on-one time before the bus picks her up around 8:30. Then I have 15 minutes to fix Sophi's hair and get her backpack ready and give her cuddles before the bus picks her up at 8:45 (Mondays and Fridays for her two hour preschool). On Tuesdays and Thursdays I get 10 extra minutes before taking her to her 9:00 a.m. neighborhood preschool. On Fridays, she's mine for the day. (:
After-school schedules are just as perfect. Sophi's home with me all afternoon. We leave to pick up the kids at 3:00. The junior high kids get out at 2:45 and walk up toward the elementary pick up place. Because we have a 12 passenger van, there are exactly enough seats to pick up all of my kiddos (minus Elli who goes to a different school) as well as the kids whose moms pick up in the morning (they each have 2 kids). I get home by 3:30 and have 40 minutes to go over backpacks and have some time with the kids before Elli gets dropped off at 4:10 (things get a bit more chaotic once Elli is here).
I am not sure how getting 8 kids off and back home could work more smoothly, time-wise. I'm so grateful that schedules don't conflict and we are able to time things just so. It's also perfect for the other two families in our carpool-- each of us only have to drive one way. Jeremy is usually able to be home in the morning and is making lunches and signing reading logs and walking kids out the door, which is also a huge blessing. That doesn't mean our mornings aren't super crazy sometimes (or always)... but they work!
It really is a tremendous blessing. I am so grateful!!!
I'm not even going to THINK about how things will change when Cali gets here... (:
Christianne
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Random
*Tonight we got to Skype with Sophi's new BFF forever, Tisha Unarmed. Tisha is even cuter on Skype than in her youtube videos. I feel like we won the jackpot in getting to know her. She was darling and gracious and so sweet with Sophi. Love her!
*As it turns out, Taylor is a solo stinker. Parker had nothing to do with the prank-- he just wanted to call me to tell me he made the team and Taylor made him promise not to tell me that he (Taylor) made the team. In fact, Parker was so worried about me being sad that he called during lunch to tell about Taylor's prank-- this was right after I had blogged. Needless to say, Parker didn't end up scrubbing toilets. (:
*Xander and Jesi have been LOVING the snow. They have always been great snow buddies. They didn't have school on Friday and had been playing outside. I walked into the kitchen and found them making "snow sundaes." These were all X's idea, and I must say they were quite yummy!
*Jesi made a snowman by herself and when I came out to see it, asked me if I noticed anything special about it. Ummm?? She helped me out-- "There is a "J" and "E" for Jacob and Emily!" Not quite sure what made her think of doing that, but it made me happy. (:
*Parker also has fun in the snow:
*Jeremy has been growing out his beard since his camping trip with the boys. I LOVE when he doesn't shave, but he usually only lasts a week or two. This time he still hasn't shaved after three weeks (per my request) and it's been fun! He was just asked to be a shepherd for the stake nativity, so that gives him a great excuse to keep it for awhile. Last week, Jesi randomly went and got the pink hairspray from Halloween and came up behind him and sprayed his hair. Again, not quite sure what made her think of that! I was afraid Jer wasn't going to be happy with her, but instead he took the bottle from her and sprayed his beard as well. Good Daddy! Well, my uncles and cousins own Ogden's Superstore and they are doing a facebook promotion where you can post a picture of your guy in a beard for "No Shave November." The picture with the most likes wins a little vacation. I could really, really go for one of those, so I posted his pic. (: Then I posted it to my page with what I thought was a link to their page and asked people to like it. Apparently I'm not facebook savvy at all, because he has like 30 plus likes on our page, but only 10 on the Ogden's page where it counts. I thought when you liked it one place, the like went on the other page as well. Yeah... like I said, facebook idiot. Still, it's a winning picture to me. (:
*Lexi is obsessed with Andrea Bocelli lately. She talks about him every day. When we were skyping with Tisha, Lexi walked up to the computer and said, "Hi. I'm Lexi and I'm blind like Andrea Bocelli." (: Every day she asks me if she can meet him. I keep saying, "Maybe someday." I guess I need to come up with a better answer-- she doesn't seem to be settling for that one! I am so glad that she has a role model that she feels a bond with.
*Puzzle Them Home is having a fundraiser on November 17th at Copper Tanning in Herriman. My sweet friends have put so much time into it-- please consider coming if you are in the area! You can read about it on the Puzzle Them Home facebook page HERE.
*Our laundry fairies have been doubling as cookie fairies lately and, lucky for us, they happen to make the world's best chocolate chip cookies. After eating WAY more than my fair share this weekend and also consuming a ton of Jeremy's yummy Thai dinner tonight, I decided I am going on a diet tomorrow. Like my mom, I decide this pretty much every Sunday night-- but this time I mean it. Hold me to it. Go ahead, comment and ask me if I'm being a pig or not. (;
*Jessica was star of the week a couple of weeks ago. She did her poster all by herself then asked me to print some pictures for it. It was so cute, and when she crumpled it up and threw it in the trash after the week was over, I had to pull it out and take pics.
*We are possibly going to be involved in an amazing documentary about China adoption. Graci would be a focus of the story (think she'd like that?!) and it looks like a beautiful project. Will keep you posted. (:
* Elli has been singing her little heart out lately. Earlier today, I was thinking about Puzzle Them Home and how we needed miracles for it to work, and she randomly started singing the words "My God is so great, so strong and so mighty. There's nothing my God cannot do" from her Sunday school CD. Good reminder for me. I love that girl, and don't find it coincidence that she knew I needed that song. She's very close to the Spirit despite her inability to communicate like a typical child.
*Today I sat down per my friend's advice and wrote a list of everything I need to be working on this week in addition to the normal day-to-day stuff like taking care of kids, swim lessons, dance, basketball, church stuff, homework, housework, meals-- the normal stuff that I already struggle to accomplish. I don't have the list in front of me, but these are some of the things off the top of my head:
I am not kidding that breathe was on the list. I had to write that after I felt myself going into panic attack mode while writing the list. This is such a busy time of year anyway, and to add everything that goes along with an adoption trip to it is just a wee. bit. stressful. Oh, and I guess I should add exercise to the list to go along with my diet.
Um, yeah. I just got overwhelmed again.
Breathe.
*As it turns out, Taylor is a solo stinker. Parker had nothing to do with the prank-- he just wanted to call me to tell me he made the team and Taylor made him promise not to tell me that he (Taylor) made the team. In fact, Parker was so worried about me being sad that he called during lunch to tell about Taylor's prank-- this was right after I had blogged. Needless to say, Parker didn't end up scrubbing toilets. (:
*Xander and Jesi have been LOVING the snow. They have always been great snow buddies. They didn't have school on Friday and had been playing outside. I walked into the kitchen and found them making "snow sundaes." These were all X's idea, and I must say they were quite yummy!
*Jesi made a snowman by herself and when I came out to see it, asked me if I noticed anything special about it. Ummm?? She helped me out-- "There is a "J" and "E" for Jacob and Emily!" Not quite sure what made her think of doing that, but it made me happy. (:
*Parker also has fun in the snow:
*Jeremy has been growing out his beard since his camping trip with the boys. I LOVE when he doesn't shave, but he usually only lasts a week or two. This time he still hasn't shaved after three weeks (per my request) and it's been fun! He was just asked to be a shepherd for the stake nativity, so that gives him a great excuse to keep it for awhile. Last week, Jesi randomly went and got the pink hairspray from Halloween and came up behind him and sprayed his hair. Again, not quite sure what made her think of that! I was afraid Jer wasn't going to be happy with her, but instead he took the bottle from her and sprayed his beard as well. Good Daddy! Well, my uncles and cousins own Ogden's Superstore and they are doing a facebook promotion where you can post a picture of your guy in a beard for "No Shave November." The picture with the most likes wins a little vacation. I could really, really go for one of those, so I posted his pic. (: Then I posted it to my page with what I thought was a link to their page and asked people to like it. Apparently I'm not facebook savvy at all, because he has like 30 plus likes on our page, but only 10 on the Ogden's page where it counts. I thought when you liked it one place, the like went on the other page as well. Yeah... like I said, facebook idiot. Still, it's a winning picture to me. (:
*Lexi is obsessed with Andrea Bocelli lately. She talks about him every day. When we were skyping with Tisha, Lexi walked up to the computer and said, "Hi. I'm Lexi and I'm blind like Andrea Bocelli." (: Every day she asks me if she can meet him. I keep saying, "Maybe someday." I guess I need to come up with a better answer-- she doesn't seem to be settling for that one! I am so glad that she has a role model that she feels a bond with.
*Puzzle Them Home is having a fundraiser on November 17th at Copper Tanning in Herriman. My sweet friends have put so much time into it-- please consider coming if you are in the area! You can read about it on the Puzzle Them Home facebook page HERE.
*Our laundry fairies have been doubling as cookie fairies lately and, lucky for us, they happen to make the world's best chocolate chip cookies. After eating WAY more than my fair share this weekend and also consuming a ton of Jeremy's yummy Thai dinner tonight, I decided I am going on a diet tomorrow. Like my mom, I decide this pretty much every Sunday night-- but this time I mean it. Hold me to it. Go ahead, comment and ask me if I'm being a pig or not. (;
*Jessica was star of the week a couple of weeks ago. She did her poster all by herself then asked me to print some pictures for it. It was so cute, and when she crumpled it up and threw it in the trash after the week was over, I had to pull it out and take pics.
*We are possibly going to be involved in an amazing documentary about China adoption. Graci would be a focus of the story (think she'd like that?!) and it looks like a beautiful project. Will keep you posted. (:
* Elli has been singing her little heart out lately. Earlier today, I was thinking about Puzzle Them Home and how we needed miracles for it to work, and she randomly started singing the words "My God is so great, so strong and so mighty. There's nothing my God cannot do" from her Sunday school CD. Good reminder for me. I love that girl, and don't find it coincidence that she knew I needed that song. She's very close to the Spirit despite her inability to communicate like a typical child.
*Today I sat down per my friend's advice and wrote a list of everything I need to be working on this week in addition to the normal day-to-day stuff like taking care of kids, swim lessons, dance, basketball, church stuff, homework, housework, meals-- the normal stuff that I already struggle to accomplish. I don't have the list in front of me, but these are some of the things off the top of my head:
Go through all the hand-me-down clothes boxes to see what might fit Cali
pack a suitcase for Cali
Go through Christmas gifts (ones we've already purchased on sale throughout the year) and figure out what we still need to buy
Christmas shop (you know-- that one looks so short and easy-- ha!)
buy a mattress
Deep clean the girls' room and somehow make room for Cali's stuff (this one feels insurmountable)
Deep clean the whole house in preparation for China (yeah, right)
architect meeting
science fair projects-- ugh
five dentist appointments
appointment with Xander to get measured for a compression sock
appointment with Xander to get measured for a compression sock
dinner for a family in my neighborhood (whose trials are far worse than mine right now)
buy gifts for China trip (for the nannies, notaries, guides, families, foster families, etc.)
shop for things to occupy girls on the airplane
paperwork for Elli
breathe
I am not kidding that breathe was on the list. I had to write that after I felt myself going into panic attack mode while writing the list. This is such a busy time of year anyway, and to add everything that goes along with an adoption trip to it is just a wee. bit. stressful. Oh, and I guess I should add exercise to the list to go along with my diet.
Um, yeah. I just got overwhelmed again.
Breathe.
Mother's Day
Christi got up this morning, made breakfast for Sophi and Lex and then went back to bed. A while later Sophi comes in.
Sophi: "Mommy, how do you make breakfast?"
Christi: "I already made you breakfast."
Sophi: "No. I want to make breakfast for you! What do you want?"
Christi (trying to make it as easy as possible): "How about a cookie and some orange juice."
Sophi: "Oh. I can't make that. Can you?"
:)
Jer
Sophi: "Mommy, how do you make breakfast?"
Christi: "I already made you breakfast."
Sophi: "No. I want to make breakfast for you! What do you want?"
Christi (trying to make it as easy as possible): "How about a cookie and some orange juice."
Sophi: "Oh. I can't make that. Can you?"
:)
Jer
Thursday, November 8, 2012
They are in so much trouble!!!!!
Let me give you some background...
As you well know, Taylor and Parker are basketball nuts. They live for it. It is easily their favorite sport, and they spend hours and hours honing their skills. Taylor's big goal this year was to make the junior high basketball team. We knew that he could do it, but we also knew that it wasn't at all a for sure thing. He is only in 7th grade and the team is made up of mostly 8th and 9th graders.
So we prayed. Every day in family prayer and individual prayers we would ask that Taylor could make the basketball team. We even included it in a special family fast. He really, really wanted this. Monday evening, Jeremy took them to buy new basketball shoes, and Taylor picked his in school colors so they would match his jersey.
Parker tried out as well. Being in 6th grade, we thought that there was zero chance he would make it, but we wanted him to get exposure so the coach would have him in mind for next year.
Today was the day. I've been anxious all week because it was unclear exactly which day the team would be posted, but the boys were told yesterday that it would be posted today for sure. We sent Taylor with Graci's phone and told him to sneak in the bathroom and call us when he found out.
A couple of hours ago, I got the call. Taylor spoke in a sad, subdued voice. "Mom, I didn't make the team." My heart broke, and I tried to console him, but he just said, "I've gotta go."
I was so, so sad. I love that kid so much. He is such a good kid and it had meant so much to him.
Fifteen minutes later I got another call from the same phone. This time it was Parker. He also sounded subdued (likely from trying not to get caught with a phone) and said, "Mom, I'm not kidding here. I made the team." WHAT??!!! How could that be? I couldn't even be happy for him because I knew that Taylor would be DEVASTATED that his younger brother made it and he didn't. I asked Parker if he was serious (nobody, including him thought that he would get on b/c of his age) and he said, "I promise, Mom. Can't talk right now. Bye."
I burst into tears.
I know that sounds harsh-- not being excited for Parker. I assure you I love him every bit as much as Taylor. But the unjustness of it all just killed me. Parker was happy to be on the super league team he is on with his best friends. He shines-- he's super talented-- and wouldn't have been disappointed not to make the team. Taylor didn't have a back-up plan. His team from last year dissipated and he didn't try out for another team, hoping that he would be on the school team. It had meant so much to him, and now Parker made it instead. AGH.
I tried calling Jeremy over and over but he didn't answer. I called my sister, Leslie, and just cried and cried to her on the phone. In the meantime, Jeremy called me back. The first thing he said was, "Hon, just so you know-- you are on speaker phone and Jes (his boss) is listening. (He had just gotten a new phone and was still trying to figure it out.) So I try to tell Jeremy about the whole thing without crying (I wasn't successful) because his boss was listening. Jeremy was STUNNED. He just kept saying, "No, no, no!" over and over. He was as sick as I was. We wondered if maybe the coach had mixed up the names. We wondered if he just really needed a point guard (Parker's an excellent one) and he had enough shooting guards. I asked him what to do, and we decided I should go check Taylor out of school so he could come home and deal with it all without his friends around.
I drove up to the school and checked him out. As he came walking outside where I was waiting, his face looked inquisitive. I put my arm around him and said, "I just thought you might like to get away from school for awhile to deal with everything."
A slow smile crept across his face.
"OHHHHHH. That's why you checked me out. Um... Mom? It was a joke. I made the team."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!!!!!! I had just spent the last half an hour crying my eyes out (I have swollen eyes to prove it) trying to figure out how the world would ever be right again for our Taylor. And he PRANKED me!
I didn't quite know whether to hug him or punch him in the gut. So I did both. (:
He sheepishly said, "So now that I'm checked out, can I go home and watch Sports Center?"
Um, no! You can go home and clean my kitchen! And that's exactly what he's doing right now, the little twit. Parker can have the toilets. (;
I love those two big stinkers!
Oh, and Parker DID make the team! I'm so very proud of them both!! (:
As you well know, Taylor and Parker are basketball nuts. They live for it. It is easily their favorite sport, and they spend hours and hours honing their skills. Taylor's big goal this year was to make the junior high basketball team. We knew that he could do it, but we also knew that it wasn't at all a for sure thing. He is only in 7th grade and the team is made up of mostly 8th and 9th graders.
So we prayed. Every day in family prayer and individual prayers we would ask that Taylor could make the basketball team. We even included it in a special family fast. He really, really wanted this. Monday evening, Jeremy took them to buy new basketball shoes, and Taylor picked his in school colors so they would match his jersey.
Parker tried out as well. Being in 6th grade, we thought that there was zero chance he would make it, but we wanted him to get exposure so the coach would have him in mind for next year.
Today was the day. I've been anxious all week because it was unclear exactly which day the team would be posted, but the boys were told yesterday that it would be posted today for sure. We sent Taylor with Graci's phone and told him to sneak in the bathroom and call us when he found out.
A couple of hours ago, I got the call. Taylor spoke in a sad, subdued voice. "Mom, I didn't make the team." My heart broke, and I tried to console him, but he just said, "I've gotta go."
I was so, so sad. I love that kid so much. He is such a good kid and it had meant so much to him.
Fifteen minutes later I got another call from the same phone. This time it was Parker. He also sounded subdued (likely from trying not to get caught with a phone) and said, "Mom, I'm not kidding here. I made the team." WHAT??!!! How could that be? I couldn't even be happy for him because I knew that Taylor would be DEVASTATED that his younger brother made it and he didn't. I asked Parker if he was serious (nobody, including him thought that he would get on b/c of his age) and he said, "I promise, Mom. Can't talk right now. Bye."
I burst into tears.
I know that sounds harsh-- not being excited for Parker. I assure you I love him every bit as much as Taylor. But the unjustness of it all just killed me. Parker was happy to be on the super league team he is on with his best friends. He shines-- he's super talented-- and wouldn't have been disappointed not to make the team. Taylor didn't have a back-up plan. His team from last year dissipated and he didn't try out for another team, hoping that he would be on the school team. It had meant so much to him, and now Parker made it instead. AGH.
I tried calling Jeremy over and over but he didn't answer. I called my sister, Leslie, and just cried and cried to her on the phone. In the meantime, Jeremy called me back. The first thing he said was, "Hon, just so you know-- you are on speaker phone and Jes (his boss) is listening. (He had just gotten a new phone and was still trying to figure it out.) So I try to tell Jeremy about the whole thing without crying (I wasn't successful) because his boss was listening. Jeremy was STUNNED. He just kept saying, "No, no, no!" over and over. He was as sick as I was. We wondered if maybe the coach had mixed up the names. We wondered if he just really needed a point guard (Parker's an excellent one) and he had enough shooting guards. I asked him what to do, and we decided I should go check Taylor out of school so he could come home and deal with it all without his friends around.
I drove up to the school and checked him out. As he came walking outside where I was waiting, his face looked inquisitive. I put my arm around him and said, "I just thought you might like to get away from school for awhile to deal with everything."
A slow smile crept across his face.
"OHHHHHH. That's why you checked me out. Um... Mom? It was a joke. I made the team."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!!!!!! I had just spent the last half an hour crying my eyes out (I have swollen eyes to prove it) trying to figure out how the world would ever be right again for our Taylor. And he PRANKED me!
I didn't quite know whether to hug him or punch him in the gut. So I did both. (:
He sheepishly said, "So now that I'm checked out, can I go home and watch Sports Center?"
Um, no! You can go home and clean my kitchen! And that's exactly what he's doing right now, the little twit. Parker can have the toilets. (;
I love those two big stinkers!
Oh, and Parker DID make the team! I'm so very proud of them both!! (:
Monday, November 5, 2012
Go Sophi!
Last week, a producer from Right This Minute contacted us and asked if he could feature Sophi on his show. They did such a great job! You can watch the segment HERE:
Also, I have had a couple of people leave me comments that I need to check out Tisha Unarmed on youtube. THANK YOU!! I finally did, and last night I showed a couple of her videos to Sophi. I have never seen her so enamored with someone in my life! She grinned ear to ear and just came alive watching her. This morning when she woke up, the first thing she said is, "I want to watch more of my Tisha!" She has been singing about her all morning-- how Soph and Tish are best friends-- and is absolutely smitten with her. (: I sent Tisha a message, and believe it or not (I thought with all of her thousands of fans that she wouldn't even see my message) she replied! She was so sweet about Sophi and I am just so excited to have a mentor that we can learn so much from. It was amazing for Sophi to find someone that not only was born without arms, but who had a leg discrepancy as well. I'm sure they will have a special kinship. (:
Also, I have had a couple of people leave me comments that I need to check out Tisha Unarmed on youtube. THANK YOU!! I finally did, and last night I showed a couple of her videos to Sophi. I have never seen her so enamored with someone in my life! She grinned ear to ear and just came alive watching her. This morning when she woke up, the first thing she said is, "I want to watch more of my Tisha!" She has been singing about her all morning-- how Soph and Tish are best friends-- and is absolutely smitten with her. (: I sent Tisha a message, and believe it or not (I thought with all of her thousands of fans that she wouldn't even see my message) she replied! She was so sweet about Sophi and I am just so excited to have a mentor that we can learn so much from. It was amazing for Sophi to find someone that not only was born without arms, but who had a leg discrepancy as well. I'm sure they will have a special kinship. (:
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Channah
I received an email today from a blog follower requesting my help in sharing a story. She is trying to raise $1,000 in donations to help a sweet little girl, Channah, find her forever family. She is asking for people to donate just $1.00 to her "angel tree." Because November is National Adoption Month, I thought this would be a great post for today! Please consider helping if you can-- if everyone gives a little, we can make a big difference!
Click HERE to find out more.
Christianne
Click HERE to find out more.
Christianne
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Letters
Dear UPS:
You want logistics? Try helping Sophi, Lexi and Elli go trick-or-treating!
Love,
A Tired Dad
Dear Sophi:
Just because the unmatched sock basket is right next to the dryer and provides a nice step, doesn't mean it's OK for you to climb in.
Love,
A guy who will respond quicker the next time he hears "I need help to get out of here!!!"
Dear Parker, Jake and Cole:
Glad you're not too old to dress up for Halloween. Love the "I-wore-this-when-I-was-three" costumes, by the way.
Love,
Mr.-I-have-one-Halloween-costume-and-wear-it-every-year.
Dear Family:
Somebody tell Lex that the cowboy hat could be worn a little further up on her head.
Love,
The man with his hands full on the other side of the picture;)
Dear Bathroom Garbage:
True story...I emptied you THIS MORNING!!!
Love,
Wondering why I even try.
Dear Taylor:
In all seriousness, thanks for being our first-born. Mom used to call me a Holiday Grinch. For some reason I would get really uptight on holidays. Easter had to do with camping in rather cold, dusty conditions. Mother's Day I felt inadequate to take care of Mom to the level I should, so I just kind of gave up on it altogether. Christmas I was grinchy during the couple of months building up to it. I had a hard time watching all of that money go to Walmart, Target, etc. Then I had a tendency to be grinchy on Christmas Day itself if all of the wrapping paper didn't end up in the wrapping paper box I had prepared. On birthdays I could get pretty grumpy if the kids crowded too close to you for me to take pictures while you were opening presents. And then there was Halloween. For some reason I would always have a meltdown. Even at age three I expected you to be perfect while trick-or-treating. If you didn't talk clearly, say thank you, and stay off the grass, I would let you have it. Ah, the trials and tribulations of being the oldest. Thank you for your patience with me. Thank you for your forgiveness.
As I took Lexi and Sophi out tonight, I realized that I have come ever so far. I think I have earned 25 years worth of patience over the last five. For a solid two years now, holidays have been great. I love Eastering, regardless of the weather. Christmas with our bunch is going to be expensive-so accept it! And Halloween. Not to toot my own horn, but I am about as patient, sweet and loving as a Dad could be. It's not that no one really cares if Lexi accidentally steps on their lawn. Or that people are so mesmerized by Sophi that they don't notice if she says "Trick-or-Treat," let alone "Thank You." No, it's because I have learned so much about what is important in life. And you, my son, are important. I have only five more Halloweens before you move on to bigger and better things. I have only five more Easters before you go on a mission and then to college. The time is running out, and I have finally learned to simply enjoy it. Thanks for putting up with me while I was figuring it all out. And thanks for helping me see it, so I have many more years with Sophi and Lexi and Elli and Jess to just enjoy the journey. You are one of my closest friends. I love you.
Love,
Dad
You want logistics? Try helping Sophi, Lexi and Elli go trick-or-treating!
Love,
A Tired Dad
Dear Sophi:
Just because the unmatched sock basket is right next to the dryer and provides a nice step, doesn't mean it's OK for you to climb in.
Love,
A guy who will respond quicker the next time he hears "I need help to get out of here!!!"
Dear Parker, Jake and Cole:
Glad you're not too old to dress up for Halloween. Love the "I-wore-this-when-I-was-three" costumes, by the way.
Love,
Mr.-I-have-one-Halloween-costume-and-wear-it-every-year.
Dear Family:
Somebody tell Lex that the cowboy hat could be worn a little further up on her head.
Love,
The man with his hands full on the other side of the picture;)
Dear Bathroom Garbage:
True story...I emptied you THIS MORNING!!!
Love,
Wondering why I even try.
Dear Taylor:
In all seriousness, thanks for being our first-born. Mom used to call me a Holiday Grinch. For some reason I would get really uptight on holidays. Easter had to do with camping in rather cold, dusty conditions. Mother's Day I felt inadequate to take care of Mom to the level I should, so I just kind of gave up on it altogether. Christmas I was grinchy during the couple of months building up to it. I had a hard time watching all of that money go to Walmart, Target, etc. Then I had a tendency to be grinchy on Christmas Day itself if all of the wrapping paper didn't end up in the wrapping paper box I had prepared. On birthdays I could get pretty grumpy if the kids crowded too close to you for me to take pictures while you were opening presents. And then there was Halloween. For some reason I would always have a meltdown. Even at age three I expected you to be perfect while trick-or-treating. If you didn't talk clearly, say thank you, and stay off the grass, I would let you have it. Ah, the trials and tribulations of being the oldest. Thank you for your patience with me. Thank you for your forgiveness.
As I took Lexi and Sophi out tonight, I realized that I have come ever so far. I think I have earned 25 years worth of patience over the last five. For a solid two years now, holidays have been great. I love Eastering, regardless of the weather. Christmas with our bunch is going to be expensive-so accept it! And Halloween. Not to toot my own horn, but I am about as patient, sweet and loving as a Dad could be. It's not that no one really cares if Lexi accidentally steps on their lawn. Or that people are so mesmerized by Sophi that they don't notice if she says "Trick-or-Treat," let alone "Thank You." No, it's because I have learned so much about what is important in life. And you, my son, are important. I have only five more Halloweens before you move on to bigger and better things. I have only five more Easters before you go on a mission and then to college. The time is running out, and I have finally learned to simply enjoy it. Thanks for putting up with me while I was figuring it all out. And thanks for helping me see it, so I have many more years with Sophi and Lexi and Elli and Jess to just enjoy the journey. You are one of my closest friends. I love you.
Love,
Dad
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
A fun video...
This was taken Sunday morning-- I thought it would be fun to show you how Soph does some normal, everyday tasks. We are so blessed to have this girl in our lives. She teaches us gratitude, perspective, courage and true greatness-- just by living!
PS-- I should tell you the conversation that led me to make this video. It was with a cute little 5-year-old boy at swim lessons:
Boy: Wow. She doesn't have any arms. That's sad.
Me: Well, she can do lots of things with her toes and chin and teeth!
Boy: Yeah... well, she can't feed herself.
Me: Actually, she does feed herself... every day!
Boy: Yeah... well she can't use a spoon.
Me: She's really good with a spoon-- you should see her!
Boy: Yeah... well she can't brush her own teeth.
Me: Actually, she does that too, don't you Soph?
Soph: Mmmhmm.
Boy: I don't think you're right.
Me: I guess she'll just have to show you sometime (as I move Sophi away from him-- she's getting quite perturbed).
(;
PS-- I should tell you the conversation that led me to make this video. It was with a cute little 5-year-old boy at swim lessons:
Boy: Wow. She doesn't have any arms. That's sad.
Me: Well, she can do lots of things with her toes and chin and teeth!
Boy: Yeah... well, she can't feed herself.
Me: Actually, she does feed herself... every day!
Boy: Yeah... well she can't use a spoon.
Me: She's really good with a spoon-- you should see her!
Boy: Yeah... well she can't brush her own teeth.
Me: Actually, she does that too, don't you Soph?
Soph: Mmmhmm.
Boy: I don't think you're right.
Me: I guess she'll just have to show you sometime (as I move Sophi away from him-- she's getting quite perturbed).
(;
Monday, October 29, 2012
Prayers
When Sophi says her personal prayers at bedtime, they're usually pretty short. Last night as I was tucking her in her prayer went on and on and on. It was probably 10 full minutes! Some of the things she prayed for were sweet and cute. Some were completely unintelligible, but I'm sure they had meaning to her. She prayed for some of the things we're praying for as a family and many others. I must admit my mind started to wander, but I was quickly drawn out of my daydreaming by the following: "Please help Heavenly Father to fix Lexi's eyes and to put my arms back on. Cuz' I was born that way."
Few phrases could be so faithful and so painful at the same time. This little one has such great faith. She has no doubt that the day will come that she will receive arms. And yet she deals with this challenge all day, every day. She is old enough now that she is very much aware of the way in which she is different from other people and many of the hardships it creates for her. Occasionally she will say "I can't because I don't have any arms." Sometimes this is said very matter-of-factly. At other times it is said with painful resignation and a bleak expression on her face. These are some of the most poignant experiences I have as a parent.
But most of the time, you couldn't meet a spunkier, more energetic, more happy-with-life individual than our Sophi. Christi and I were discussing this morning just how happy Sophi is to be part of a family. More than any of our other children at this age she absolutely relishes mom and dad, brothers and sisters. She often lists everyone in our family and says how much she loves each of them. She is truly a constant example of how I should be living my life: Face reality, shoulder your burdens, and move forward with faith and a smile. :)
Jeremy
Few phrases could be so faithful and so painful at the same time. This little one has such great faith. She has no doubt that the day will come that she will receive arms. And yet she deals with this challenge all day, every day. She is old enough now that she is very much aware of the way in which she is different from other people and many of the hardships it creates for her. Occasionally she will say "I can't because I don't have any arms." Sometimes this is said very matter-of-factly. At other times it is said with painful resignation and a bleak expression on her face. These are some of the most poignant experiences I have as a parent.
But most of the time, you couldn't meet a spunkier, more energetic, more happy-with-life individual than our Sophi. Christi and I were discussing this morning just how happy Sophi is to be part of a family. More than any of our other children at this age she absolutely relishes mom and dad, brothers and sisters. She often lists everyone in our family and says how much she loves each of them. She is truly a constant example of how I should be living my life: Face reality, shoulder your burdens, and move forward with faith and a smile. :)
Friday, October 26, 2012
Gives me chills.
One of my very favorite hymns by one of my very favorite artists:
I can't listen to this without getting teary. It somehow washes everything that's not important away and just makes you want to do anything and everything to be close to God.
I'm so grateful for people who use their talents in such amazing ways.
I can't listen to this without getting teary. It somehow washes everything that's not important away and just makes you want to do anything and everything to be close to God.
I'm so grateful for people who use their talents in such amazing ways.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Poor Mom...
This week is Red Ribbon Week (otherwise known as "let's see if we can make mornings that much crazier for parents week") at school. Tuesday was "Rockin' Out to the 80's" day. I hadn't planned anything the night before and was rushing around trying to find things that looked 80's-ish for all the kids. I helped Jesi pick an outfit and put her hair in a side ponytail. I was thinking that she looked pretty cute, but she wasn't so sure. She looked at herself in the mirror and asked, "How do you know so much about the 80's, Mom? Are you sure I'm dressed correctly?" I laughed and said, "Well, honey-- when I was your age, I was living in the 80's."
An honest-to-goodness panic stricken look came across her face. With wide eyes, she exclaimed, "YOU had to dress like THIS?!" She was not trying to be funny.
Ha!
A few minutes later, I found a bright headband and told her to put it on. She put it on and said, "WELL, I guess this is just a little more high-fashion now."
(;
An honest-to-goodness panic stricken look came across her face. With wide eyes, she exclaimed, "YOU had to dress like THIS?!" She was not trying to be funny.
Ha!
A few minutes later, I found a bright headband and told her to put it on. She put it on and said, "WELL, I guess this is just a little more high-fashion now."
(;
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Trombone Musings
Taylor used to practice his trombone in the garage. It's getting a bit cold for that, so he tries to find a location that is the least noisy for the rest of the family. Tonight I found him sitting on the toilet in the master bathroom practicing away. Dedicated kid. I opened the door and complimented him on how much he's progressing. We were looking at each other through the mirror. He looked at me with a meditative expression and said, "You look different in the mirror." I flexed my muscles, sucked in my gut and put a "Flynn Ryder smolder" on my face. "Do I look more handsome in the mirror?" I asked.
"No. Your bald spot is on the opposite side."
Thanks, T. I love you, too.
Dad
"No. Your bald spot is on the opposite side."
Thanks, T. I love you, too.
Dad
Communication
I recently noticed a headline on CNN that was something along the lines of, "Will science eventually prove that God doesn't exist?" I was struck by this. What kind of arrogance does it take to think that man could disprove the existence of God? How sad must be the life of someone who is determined to eliminate his own Father in Heaven? How grateful I am for my testimony that He not only exists, but knows ME. Little old, unimportant me. And He loves me. So much more than the almost overwhelming love I have for my own children. A perfect love. He wants what is best for me. Such a blessing to know these things.
I woke up this morning, as I do every school morning, to my alarm. The alarm I set is on my smart phone. How did we ever survive without these electronic swiss army knives? I've heard the next iPhone will not only wake you up, but will cook your breakfast as well:). Anyway, I woke up as usual, but then my normal morning routine changed. Just about every day, I grab my phone to turn off the alarm, then I check my email. There are usually about 15 emails from overnight. Most are junk and I immediately delete them. Once in awhile there is something of importance. My favorites are comments on our blog;) But I do this virtually every day. My first waking moments are filled with checking messages that for the most part are so pointless I delete them without even reading them.
This morning I had a little inspiration. I'm sure this is not an original thought, but it was important to me and had an immediate impact on my life: Why am I checking email messages before I check my messages from my Heavenly Father? And so I did. I got on my knees and poured out my heart. And you know what? I got a message. We have been struggling to find the best way to deal with an issue one of our children is having. During my prayer, a very clear impression came to my mind of a unique idea to deal with this issue. A way I had never considered, but one that I am sure will be most helpful as we work on this together. I am excited to continue checking my messages from Heavenly Father first thing. It has made a difference in my day already. I really am so grateful for Him. So grateful for prophets throughout history who have sacrificed much to bring us His word. And so grateful for His son, whose atonement has made it possible for me to return and live with Him again someday.
Jeremy
I woke up this morning, as I do every school morning, to my alarm. The alarm I set is on my smart phone. How did we ever survive without these electronic swiss army knives? I've heard the next iPhone will not only wake you up, but will cook your breakfast as well:). Anyway, I woke up as usual, but then my normal morning routine changed. Just about every day, I grab my phone to turn off the alarm, then I check my email. There are usually about 15 emails from overnight. Most are junk and I immediately delete them. Once in awhile there is something of importance. My favorites are comments on our blog;) But I do this virtually every day. My first waking moments are filled with checking messages that for the most part are so pointless I delete them without even reading them.
This morning I had a little inspiration. I'm sure this is not an original thought, but it was important to me and had an immediate impact on my life: Why am I checking email messages before I check my messages from my Heavenly Father? And so I did. I got on my knees and poured out my heart. And you know what? I got a message. We have been struggling to find the best way to deal with an issue one of our children is having. During my prayer, a very clear impression came to my mind of a unique idea to deal with this issue. A way I had never considered, but one that I am sure will be most helpful as we work on this together. I am excited to continue checking my messages from Heavenly Father first thing. It has made a difference in my day already. I really am so grateful for Him. So grateful for prophets throughout history who have sacrificed much to bring us His word. And so grateful for His son, whose atonement has made it possible for me to return and live with Him again someday.
Jeremy
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Super long... sorry!
-->
I was going to write about how Xander just dumped half of a chocolate cake off of my bed (yeah, don't ask why it was on my bed in the first place) and onto my floor/comforter/pillow and how Elli found reason to have 3 baths today and how as I went to open the spaghetti tonight found that it had already been opened on the other end and therefore spilled all over the kitchen floor.
But instead I think I'll write about what's really on my mind.
Earlier this year, as our Father in Heaven opened our hearts
up to beautiful Cali, and soon after to sweet Conner, I found myself wrestling
with so many questions. They all had
the same general theme: “HOW IN THE
WORLD ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS?” I’m actually
getting teary just writing this, thinking of the struggle of that decision. The questions that flood my heart each time we add another child to our
family are real and legitimate and good questions to ask. They should be weighed heavily, and
discussed, and prayed about. They are
important questions that I believe God wants us to ask. In case you are wondering what questions I am
talking about, I mentioned many of them here.
It is such a big, heavy decision. But in the end, though asking these questions
is of great importance and can help us in that decision, IN THE END, it comes
down to what our Heavenly Father wants for us.
Sometimes the answer is no, sometimes it is yes, and sometimes it is,
“Up to you, darling! Have fun deciding!” (I personally don't always like that last one.)
In our case, each time we have pursued adoption, I have come to know that it is exactly what the Lord wants us to do. I am so extremely grateful for this
knowledge. It has been so important as
we go through the ups and downs and highs and lows that each new child brings to
our family. Knowing, without a shadow of
a doubt, that we are to pursue adopting each child is of
infinite worth to me. The weight that is
so heavy as we prayerfully consider these children is immediately lifted when
we receive that “yes” answer and accept it. (And by the way, in case you are wondering, we have received "no" answers concerning adoption as well.)
And so, as we moved forward with Cali’s and Conner’s
adoptions, I let go of the things that I had worried about as we sought answers
from our Heavenly Father as to whether or not to adopt.
One of those things was (no surprise here…) having a bigger
home. I stopped worrying about how we
would accommodate our new additions and how Cali would get along in a
wheelchair here because I knew that it was right to adopt her. I felt so much peace as I realized that Cali
was infinitely better off here, in a home that isn’t equipped for a wheelchair
and where we are a tight fit, than in an orphanage without a family. That realization took a huge weight off my
shoulders. Getting a new home was NOT
paramount to adopting her. Happy
dance!!!!!
Still (sheepish smile), I wanted a new home.
(; And we decided that it was a
good thing to pray for—one that we felt would be the best thing for our children and bless our family in very
life-changing ways.
Let me tell you what I hoped would happen with those prayers. (: I
hoped that God would basically just drop down a home out of the sky and have it
land on our property. I’m not really
kidding here. I wanted it to be that easy. I wanted Jeremy’s side business to take off
in a way that we would make like, a million dollars this year and could build
our dream home. Yes… that would be very
ideal!
When we made our Dynamite video, we made it with the sole
intention of having a fun way to share our news with family and friends. I was the one who wrote the line, “Need some
room for two more chairs—wish that we knew some millionaires.” It was of course, meant to be funny, but I
will admit that after I wrote it, I had the fun thought of, “Oh, and by the
way, God, that would be an acceptable way to get a house too! Just give us a millionaire. Perfect.”
(:
Those are the ways I had HOPED that we would perhaps find
ourselves getting a new home.
As it turns out, you don’t always get to set your own terms
when it comes to prayer requests…
Heavenly
Father decided that He would do things His own way. And HIS way is not at all MY way!!!!! My way
is NOT to have a bunch of busy, wonderful mothers who have a thousand other
things to do decide to put hours and hours into serving our family. My way is NOT to have PayPal buttons and
requests for donations. Seriously—UGH! My way is NOT to have people who have less money
than us sacrifice to build us a great big home. My way is NOT to hear of one of Graci’s
friends saving up money to buy a puzzle piece (made me cry humble tears). My way is NOT to write facebook and blog posts
letting people know that “Hey! Have you
heard there is a fundraiser to raise money for ME?!” Hello-- embarrassing! My way is not to set up a twitter account
with the sole purpose of tracking down my kids’ favorite celebrities and
sheepishly asking them to tweet. My way
is NOT to have a tree set up with our pictures on it at community events asking
people to learn more about our family.
My way is NOT to be public with this whole new house thing.
Ha.
Yes, He decided to humble me.
See, I have usually been on the giving end when it comes to
money. We have been blessed to always
have enough to share. We have been the
ones sending money to other families who are adopting. We have been the ones sending anonymous
envelopes. And because we were never in
a position of wondering if we would be able to pay the bills, it was FUN and
many times easy to share our financial blessings. It still is!
We are not in a desperate financial situation in any way—we just don’t
have the ability to build a home right now.
Still, we are tremendously blessed financially and like being on that
“giving” end of things. (:
I have found that being on this “receiving” end is actually very hard. PLEASE don’t think I’m
complaining—I am so grateful! But saying,
“Thank you—it means so much!” and accepting help is much harder for me than
saying, “Thanks, but we’re fine!” And
over and over and over in the past few months I have had to do just that--say,
“Thank you,” and accept. “Thank you” to
those wonderful people on the Puzzle Them Home committee who are selflessly
giving of their time and talent. “Thank
you” to those who are sharing our story.
“Thank you” to those who have so generously donated financially to the
cause. Knowing that this is the type of
service I can NEVER pay back is just plain hard!
But I have learned a few lessons. (Perhaps that’s why the house didn’t fall
from the sky!)
I have learned that service unifies people in a beautiful
way. These sweet women who have sat
around a kitchen table with me numerous times over the last few months have
become so dear to me. I simply LOVE them. Not even because of what they are doing, but because I have gotten to know their hearts and they are just beautiful people. We have found
unity in our purpose of providing a wonderful home for these wonderful
kids. I have developed a love for them and
their families that I can’t express, and friendship that will last forever.
I have learned about cheerful giving. So many people act like this is the most wonderful thing to be able to serve our family. (: It is easier to accept help when people give it so sweetly and graciously. I am committed to becoming more like them.
I have learned that it is ok to ask for help. (Ok, maybe I am learning…) When Jeremy and I
wrote emails to some people on our contact list let them know about the
fundraiser, it was seriously so hard to actually push the send button. It took us several minutes of just sitting
there. We had to come to terms with the fact that it would take many people to
accomplish this great task. That we
can’t always do things on our own…
I have learned that I need to let go of
worrying about what others may think.
There have been a couple of comments on Facebook that were along the
lines of, “Well, if these people can’t meet the needs of the kids on their own
then why should they be adopting more?” A fair question, for sure! I was glad for the opportunity to explain
that we can meet their needs—that it would just be much easier in a home that
was custom to them. But then I became
very preoccupied with thinking, “Is that what EVERYONE thinks of us? How many others are questioning why we are adopting
and why this fundraiser is happening?
What other questions are being asked?
Are people going to start scrutinizing how we spend our money now that
there is a fundraiser going on? Are
people’s views of us going to change?” and the list goes on… These thoughts have done nothing good for me. They just occupy time that I should be
spending doing good things. So I am
trying hard to let go and think more about what God thinks.
I have learned to trust the Spirit. When Chrissy first called me to ask if she
could do a fundraiser for us, I felt absolutely enveloped by the Holy
Ghost. I felt a confirmation right there
and then that the Lord was answering our prayers. He knows better than anyone what this would mean to us. I have reminded myself of that when I get
overwhelmed or discouraged or embarrassed about the whole thing.
I have learned that I need to stop relying on myself to
bless the efforts of those serving us, and rely instead on our Heavenly
Father. It is easy when someone babysits
your kids to turn around and babysit theirs.
I obviously can’t build homes for everyone that is helping build one for
us! (:
I feel very humble and insignificant when I can only say “thanks.” I have to remind myself that the Lord sees
the efforts made in our behalf, and that He can bless them far better than I
can.
I have learned that our Heavenly Father has such a perfect
love for His children that He will let them feel uncomfortable and awkward for
awhile if it means bringing them closer to Him and being able to bless them in
beautiful ways.
I have learned that it is therefore ok for me to humbly ask
you wonderful readers if you would consider spreading the word if you haven’t
already. That if you happen to have some
extra time on your hands and are just perusing the internet, you would consider
tracking down some of these very elusive celebrities (; or any others who have the
capability of reaching a large number of people!
See… I just did it! I
asked a big favor and I am still breathing.
I’m even smiling. (:
Even though all I can say is, “thank you.”
(:
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Keeping me on my toes!
Xander came running into my room about an hour ago, "MOM! Elli's eating my medicine!"
My heart dropped. I ran into the living room to find Xander's pill bottle (a very strong antibiotic for his leg infection) on the floor with several pills spilled out. NINETEEN of them were in Elli's mouth. They were gel caps, and only one of them had been bitten hard enough that all the powder was out-- the rest were just soggy, but full of powder.
Of course, I called poison control. We're practically on a first name basis over there. (; The last time I called them it was to see if chewing and swallowing large amounts of the powdery material in pull-ups was toxic. In case you ever need to know that, it's not. (; It does, however, create lots of fun bowel issues, which I won't get into here...
Anyway... after discussing things with the sweet lady at poison control and doing meticulous pill counts, I am fairly certain that Elli is going to be ok. I've also talked to the pharmacy, who has to contact X's doctor at the hospital to get him to send in a new prescription. Awesome. We learned a good lesson about keeping "childproof" pill bottles up high. For as many times as we've called poison control, I don't believe it's ever been for medicine... Chewing batteries until they are flat, eating tubes of desitin-- that's more her style.
Sweet, sweet Elli, please don't scare me like that again. I'm not up to another trip to the ER so soon. (:
My heart dropped. I ran into the living room to find Xander's pill bottle (a very strong antibiotic for his leg infection) on the floor with several pills spilled out. NINETEEN of them were in Elli's mouth. They were gel caps, and only one of them had been bitten hard enough that all the powder was out-- the rest were just soggy, but full of powder.
Of course, I called poison control. We're practically on a first name basis over there. (; The last time I called them it was to see if chewing and swallowing large amounts of the powdery material in pull-ups was toxic. In case you ever need to know that, it's not. (; It does, however, create lots of fun bowel issues, which I won't get into here...
Anyway... after discussing things with the sweet lady at poison control and doing meticulous pill counts, I am fairly certain that Elli is going to be ok. I've also talked to the pharmacy, who has to contact X's doctor at the hospital to get him to send in a new prescription. Awesome. We learned a good lesson about keeping "childproof" pill bottles up high. For as many times as we've called poison control, I don't believe it's ever been for medicine... Chewing batteries until they are flat, eating tubes of desitin-- that's more her style.
Sweet, sweet Elli, please don't scare me like that again. I'm not up to another trip to the ER so soon. (:
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